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Description
HEEERE'S JHONNY!

Karin: “The Happy Place is here to serve you!”

Deidara: “It’s like every word that comes out of there mouth is a sex pun waiting to be noticed…”

Suigetsu: -Gasp- “Karin! You forgot your dramatic entrance!”

Karin: “Oh twaddlecock, you right!” -Runs outside, climbs up to the roof, then falls through the ceiling- “TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!”

Suigetsu: “Hey Mommy! I have a sharp object up my ass! Guess what it is?!”

Deidara: -Twitch- “I… have no idea…”

Suigetsu: “Broken glass! You were right Karin! This does work better than dildos!”

Karin: “I told you!”

Deidara: “Ugh…” (Here goes nothing…) -Gulp- “Listen up, uh… SON… MOMMY needs your help with something VERY… important…” (KILL ME!!!!!)

Suigetsu: “Yes Mommy?” -Smiling-

Kakuzu: “Now there’s a real trooper…” -Holding hat over his chest-

Deidara: “MOMMY… would like you and your sister… to pose as our good friend “Uncle Pein’s” daughters… Do you think you could do that for MOMMY…?” -Twitching uncontrollably- (GOD, IF YOU TRULY EXIST AND HAVE ONE SHRED OF MERCY IN YOU, YOU WILL STRIKE ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!)

Suigetsu: “Of course Mommy!” -Transforms into a girl- “I’d do anything for you!”

Deidara: “GOOOD…” -Has begun foaming at the mouth-

Suigetsu: “Come on sis! Let’s please Mommy so she’ll abandon us again!”

Karin: “YAY!” -Transforms-

Pein: -Walks out from his bedroom- “I-”

Suigetsu & Karin: “DADDY!” -Both hug-tackle him-

Pein: “W-WHAT THE HELL?!”

Kakuzu: "Aw. You’re daughter’s alive after all. That’s modern medicine for ya.”

Pein: “TH-TH-THEY AREN’T MY-!”

Kakuzu: -Raises eyebrow- “Uh… Uh- I mean…”

Suigetsu: “WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DADDY! CAN YOU HELP ME UNHOOK MY BRA?!”

Karin: -Rubbing her boobs against him- “Uh-oh Daddy! I think I need a diaper change!”

Suigetsu: “Daddy! Can we play with Mr. Fingerman again?!”

Pein: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!”

Suigetsu: “Aw… Don’t worry Daddy! We’re adults now!”

Karin: “Yeah! We’re not jail-bait!

Kakuzu: -Laughing- “Ahaha! This is priceless!”

Deidara: -Throwing up- “Forgive me for not being able to fully enjoy it…”

Karin: -Singing- “Oh Daddy, Daddy! I promise, you won’t do tiiiiime! Lick my baby-back behind!” - Shaking her ass-

Pein: -Crying-

Kakuzu: “Hm… wonder how long they’re gonna keep this up…”

Suigetsu: “I WANT YOU INSIDE ME DADDY!”

Karin: “I WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!”

Pein: -Crying hysterically- “OKAY! OKAY! I DON’T REALLY HAVE A DAUGHTER AND I WENT TO MEXICO FOR SPRING BREAK, OKAY?! THE JIGS UP! JUST STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!”

Suigetsu: “Why won’t Daddy’s little soldier come out the play?!”

Karin: -Baby’s voice- “Where’s my wittle fwiend, huh? WHERE’S MY WITTLE FWIEND?!”

Deidara: “Ugh… Okay, okay, kids. That’s enough. He says he’ll fess up.”

Suigetsu: “LOVE US DADDY! LOVE US GOOD!”

Deidara: -Using a megaphone- “I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH ALREADY! MOMMY SAYS ENOUGH ALREADY!”

Suigetsu: -Transforms back- “Did we do good Mommy?

Deidara: “YES, YES, EXCELLENT MOMMY’S VERY PROUD OF YOU, NOW GET THE HELL OUT!”

Suigetsu: “Okay! I love you Mommy! Let’s go Karin! We can still make our daily rape appointment!” -Disappears-

Karin: “HOORAY!” -Also disappears-

Kakuzu: “Way to take one for the team.”

Deidara: “UGH… I don’t feel so good…”

Kakuzu: “So, did you learn your lesson?”

Pein: -Fire in eyes- “YOU… YOU TWO…YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS…?”

Deidara: “Uh… Yes?”

Pein: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Deidara: “I THINK we went to far…”

Kakuzu; “What was you first clue?”

Pein: “DIE!!!!!!!!!!”

Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run like hell-

Pein: -Chasing them with a chainsaw-

Itachi: -Walking down the hall- “What the-?!”

Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run by at the speed of light-

Itachi: “Eh?”

Pein: -Runs past Itachi; singing- “I’M ABOUT TO KILL YOU~…”

Itachi: “Hoshit. They should’ve just given him the Sea World tickets…”

Deidara: “SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-! -Hides in the first room he sees-

Kakuzu: -Runs into Kisame’s room and slams the door-

Kisame: -Swimming in shark tank- “What the hell man?!”

Kakuzu: -Whispering- “SHUT THE HELL UP…”

Pein: -Saws a hole in the door- “HELLO CLEVELAND!” -Peeking through hole and foamy at the mouth-

Kisame: “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”

Kakuzu: “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY DAMMIT!”

-The door explodes-

Pein: -Standing in the doorway- “PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU…”

Kakuzu: “Shit…”

-Meanwhile-

Deidara: -Moves a bunch of furniture in front of the door, then sits down cowering in fear- “I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. OH GAWD I AM SO FUCKING DEAD…”

Sasori: -Naked by the computer- HAVEN’T YOU EVEN HEARD OF KNOCKING?!

Deidara: “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

-Axe suddenly busts through the door-

Deidara: -Backs far away from the door- “CRAP…”

Sasori: -Wearing bathrobe- “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”

Deidara: “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER?!”

Sasori: “I REALLY DON’T THINK THAT’S RELEVANT TO YOUR CURRENT SITUATION!”

Deidara: “NO, BUT IT’S KIND OF HARD NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS!”

Pein: -From the other side of the door- “LET’S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK…”

Deidara: “OKAY. FUCK THIS. IF I’M GONNA DIE, I’M GONNA DIE MAKING FUN OF WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WERE DOING ON THAT COMPUTER!” -Runs towards the computer-

Sasori: -Blocks the computer- “I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE GONNA DIE! IT’S FUCKING PRIVATE!”

Deidara: “TOO BAD!” -Shoves Sasori out of the way, there are naked pictures of Tsunade on the monitor- “DUDE… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Kakuzu: -Busts through the window- “I think I lost hi- WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE COMPUTER?!”

Sasori: “I LIKE OLDER WOMEN OKAY?!”

Deidara: “DUDE, THAT’S JUST FUCKING GROSS!”

Pein: -Banging on the door- “WARRIORS~… COME OUT AND PLA~AY~…”

Sasori: “THIS REALLY ISN’T THE TIME FOR YOU TO BE CRITICIZING ME?! ESPECIALLY YOU, KAKUZU! YOU’RE FUCKING ANCIENT!”

Kakuzu: “I MAY BE OLD BUT I DON’T DATE OLDER WOMEN! Ugh. That reminds me…” -Dials cell-phone- “Honey, I’m about to die, but I just wanted to tell you… YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE AND I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND HILLARY CLINTON!” -Hangs up-

Deidara: “I can’t believe this… We’re really about to die… I mean, I know we always said we wanted to die, but damn…”

Kakuzu: I know! I never though it would actually happen…”

Pein: -Banging on the door even harder-

Kakuzu: “HERE! TAKE ALL MY MONEY!” -Slides a bunch of money under the door-

Pein: “Okay, but I’m still going to kill you!”

Kakuzu: “God dammit…”

Deidara: -Hugging Sasori- “I’M NOT READY TO DIE!”

Sasori: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!” -Shoves him off-

Deidara: “VISIT MY AUNT AND UNCLE IN THE NURSING HOME FOR ME!”

Kakuzu: “Tell Hidan he’s the best partner a guy could ask for.”

Sasori: “You guys are scaring me…”

Deidara: “Tell Tobi he is a good boy even though he’s a fucking idiot!”

Kakuzu: “Tell my mom I’m sorry I stole her credit cards and blamed it on dad…”

Deidara: “And tell Zetsu he’s just a misunderstood monster!”

Kakuzu: “Not me, I still hate that freak!”

Zetsu: -Emerges from the ground- “AW DEIDARA!” -Hugs Deidara and starts crying- “I didn’t know you cared so much!”

Deidara: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! I SAID YOU WERE MISUNDERSTOOD, I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU!”

Zetsu: “Aw…” -Walks away sadly-

Pein: -Busts down the door, holding chainsaw- “HEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNY!”

Kakuzu: “TELL THE AKATSUKI I’LL MISS THEM!”

Sasori: “Yeah, I’m not gonna do any of that.”

Deidara: “AND SASORI! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I SAID I HATED YOU! I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!”

Sasori: -Blank face-

Kakuzu: “That was a bit much.”

Zetsu: “You know, if you guys wanna live that bad I have a drug that makes people forget stuff.”

Kakuzu: “AND YOU DIDN’T MENTION BEFORE BECAUSE-OH FORGET IT JUST GIVE ME THE STUFF.”

Zetsu: -Tosses him a vile-

Kakuzu: -Runs and shoves it down Pein’s throat-

Pein: “DIE-….. What the hell am I doing he- EW. Sasori, you like Tsunade? You’re fucking nasty.”

Kakuzu: -Crying tears of happiness- “We’re saved!” -Snatches his money from Pein- “Giving away my money, I must’ve lost my damn mind. Oh, and Sasori, if you mention anything I said, I’ll fucking kill you.” -Walks out-

Sasori: -Blank face, no movement whatsoever-

Pein: “Huh… Well, I‘m very confused right now so I‘m gonna go lay down and watch porn-I mean continue mourning my daughter“ -Walks out-

Deidara: “…So… I’m NOT going to die…?”

Zetsu: -Smiling- “Nope!”

Deidara: “…Well, fuck me…” (OH… Bad choice of wording…) -Runs like hell-

Itachi: -Runs into the room with a video camera- “DAMMIT! DID I MISS ANYTHING?!”

Deidara: -Running past him- “Nope, nope. Nothing at all.”

Itachi: “Damn… It figures. I always- UGH You like Tsunade? Dude, that’s sick.” -Walks out-

Sasori: -In state of shock-

Tobi: -Falls from the roof- “Did someone say Tobi’s a good boy?!”

TO BE CONTINUED…

Description
HEEERE'S JHONNY!

Karin: “The Happy Place is here to serve you!”

Deidara: “It’s like every word that comes out of there mouth is a sex pun waiting to be noticed…”

Suigetsu: -Gasp- “Karin! You forgot your dramatic entrance!”

Karin: “Oh twaddlecock, you right!” -Runs outside, climbs up to the roof, then falls through the ceiling- “TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVASTATION!”

Suigetsu: “Hey Mommy! I have a sharp object up my ass! Guess what it is?!”

Deidara: -Twitch- “I… have no idea…”

Suigetsu: “Broken glass! You were right Karin! This does work better than dildos!”

Karin: “I told you!”

Deidara: “Ugh…” (Here goes nothing…) -Gulp- “Listen up, uh… SON… MOMMY needs your help with something VERY… important…” (KILL ME!!!!!)

Suigetsu: “Yes Mommy?” -Smiling-

Kakuzu: “Now there’s a real trooper…” -Holding hat over his chest-

Deidara: “MOMMY… would like you and your sister… to pose as our good friend “Uncle Pein’s” daughters… Do you think you could do that for MOMMY…?” -Twitching uncontrollably- (GOD, IF YOU TRULY EXIST AND HAVE ONE SHRED OF MERCY IN YOU, YOU WILL STRIKE ME DOWN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!)

Suigetsu: “Of course Mommy!” -Transforms into a girl- “I’d do anything for you!”

Deidara: “GOOOD…” -Has begun foaming at the mouth-

Suigetsu: “Come on sis! Let’s please Mommy so she’ll abandon us again!”

Karin: “YAY!” -Transforms-

Pein: -Walks out from his bedroom- “I-”

Suigetsu & Karin: “DADDY!” -Both hug-tackle him-

Pein: “W-WHAT THE HELL?!”

Kakuzu: "Aw. You’re daughter’s alive after all. That’s modern medicine for ya.”

Pein: “TH-TH-THEY AREN’T MY-!”

Kakuzu: -Raises eyebrow- “Uh… Uh- I mean…”

Suigetsu: “WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH DADDY! CAN YOU HELP ME UNHOOK MY BRA?!”

Karin: -Rubbing her boobs against him- “Uh-oh Daddy! I think I need a diaper change!”

Suigetsu: “Daddy! Can we play with Mr. Fingerman again?!”

Pein: “WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?!”

Suigetsu: “Aw… Don’t worry Daddy! We’re adults now!”

Karin: “Yeah! We’re not jail-bait!

Kakuzu: -Laughing- “Ahaha! This is priceless!”

Deidara: -Throwing up- “Forgive me for not being able to fully enjoy it…”

Karin: -Singing- “Oh Daddy, Daddy! I promise, you won’t do tiiiiime! Lick my baby-back behind!” - Shaking her ass-

Pein: -Crying-

Kakuzu: “Hm… wonder how long they’re gonna keep this up…”

Suigetsu: “I WANT YOU INSIDE ME DADDY!”

Karin: “I WANT IT IN MY MOUTH!”

Pein: -Crying hysterically- “OKAY! OKAY! I DON’T REALLY HAVE A DAUGHTER AND I WENT TO MEXICO FOR SPRING BREAK, OKAY?! THE JIGS UP! JUST STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP!”

Suigetsu: “Why won’t Daddy’s little soldier come out the play?!”

Karin: -Baby’s voice- “Where’s my wittle fwiend, huh? WHERE’S MY WITTLE FWIEND?!”

Deidara: “Ugh… Okay, okay, kids. That’s enough. He says he’ll fess up.”

Suigetsu: “LOVE US DADDY! LOVE US GOOD!”

Deidara: -Using a megaphone- “I SAID THAT’S ENOUGH ALREADY! MOMMY SAYS ENOUGH ALREADY!”

Suigetsu: -Transforms back- “Did we do good Mommy?

Deidara: “YES, YES, EXCELLENT MOMMY’S VERY PROUD OF YOU, NOW GET THE HELL OUT!”

Suigetsu: “Okay! I love you Mommy! Let’s go Karin! We can still make our daily rape appointment!” -Disappears-

Karin: “HOORAY!” -Also disappears-

Kakuzu: “Way to take one for the team.”

Deidara: “UGH… I don’t feel so good…”

Kakuzu: “So, did you learn your lesson?”

Pein: -Fire in eyes- “YOU… YOU TWO…YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS…?”

Deidara: “Uh… Yes?”

Pein: “GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Deidara: “I THINK we went to far…”

Kakuzu; “What was you first clue?”

Pein: “DIE!!!!!!!!!!”

Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run like hell-

Pein: -Chasing them with a chainsaw-

Itachi: -Walking down the hall- “What the-?!”

Deidara & Kakuzu: -Run by at the speed of light-

Itachi: “Eh?”

Pein: -Runs past Itachi; singing- “I’M ABOUT TO KILL YOU~…”

Itachi: “Hoshit. They should’ve just given him the Sea World tickets…”

Deidara: “SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT-! -Hides in the first room he sees-

Kakuzu: -Runs into Kisame’s room and slams the door-

Kisame: -Swimming in shark tank- “What the hell man?!”

Kakuzu: -Whispering- “SHUT THE HELL UP…”

Pein: -Saws a hole in the door- “HELLO CLEVELAND!” -Peeking through hole and foamy at the mouth-

Kisame: “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”

Kakuzu: “IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY DAMMIT!”

-The door explodes-

Pein: -Standing in the doorway- “PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU…”

Kakuzu: “Shit…”

-Meanwhile-

Deidara: -Moves a bunch of furniture in front of the door, then sits down cowering in fear- “I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. OH GAWD I AM SO FUCKING DEAD…”

Sasori: -Naked by the computer- HAVEN’T YOU EVEN HEARD OF KNOCKING?!

Deidara: “WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!

-Axe suddenly busts through the door-

Deidara: -Backs far away from the door- “CRAP…”

Sasori: -Wearing bathrobe- “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?!”

Deidara: “WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING ON THE COMPUTER?!”

Sasori: “I REALLY DON’T THINK THAT’S RELEVANT TO YOUR CURRENT SITUATION!”

Deidara: “NO, BUT IT’S KIND OF HARD NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS ABOUT THESE KINDS OF THINGS!”

Pein: -From the other side of the door- “LET’S PLAY HIDE AND SEEK…”

Deidara: “OKAY. FUCK THIS. IF I’M GONNA DIE, I’M GONNA DIE MAKING FUN OF WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WERE DOING ON THAT COMPUTER!” -Runs towards the computer-

Sasori: -Blocks the computer- “I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE GONNA DIE! IT’S FUCKING PRIVATE!”

Deidara: “TOO BAD!” -Shoves Sasori out of the way, there are naked pictures of Tsunade on the monitor- “DUDE… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

Kakuzu: -Busts through the window- “I think I lost hi- WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THE COMPUTER?!”

Sasori: “I LIKE OLDER WOMEN OKAY?!”

Deidara: “DUDE, THAT’S JUST FUCKING GROSS!”

Pein: -Banging on the door- “WARRIORS~… COME OUT AND PLA~AY~…”

Sasori: “THIS REALLY ISN’T THE TIME FOR YOU TO BE CRITICIZING ME?! ESPECIALLY YOU, KAKUZU! YOU’RE FUCKING ANCIENT!”

Kakuzu: “I MAY BE OLD BUT I DON’T DATE OLDER WOMEN! Ugh. That reminds me…” -Dials cell-phone- “Honey, I’m about to die, but I just wanted to tell you… YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE AND I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND HILLARY CLINTON!” -Hangs up-

Deidara: “I can’t believe this… We’re really about to die… I mean, I know we always said we wanted to die, but damn…”

Kakuzu: I know! I never though it would actually happen…”

Pein: -Banging on the door even harder-

Kakuzu: “HERE! TAKE ALL MY MONEY!” -Slides a bunch of money under the door-

Pein: “Okay, but I’m still going to kill you!”

Kakuzu: “God dammit…”

Deidara: -Hugging Sasori- “I’M NOT READY TO DIE!”

Sasori: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!” -Shoves him off-

Deidara: “VISIT MY AUNT AND UNCLE IN THE NURSING HOME FOR ME!”

Kakuzu: “Tell Hidan he’s the best partner a guy could ask for.”

Sasori: “You guys are scaring me…”

Deidara: “Tell Tobi he is a good boy even though he’s a fucking idiot!”

Kakuzu: “Tell my mom I’m sorry I stole her credit cards and blamed it on dad…”

Deidara: “And tell Zetsu he’s just a misunderstood monster!”

Kakuzu: “Not me, I still hate that freak!”

Zetsu: -Emerges from the ground- “AW DEIDARA!” -Hugs Deidara and starts crying- “I didn’t know you cared so much!”

Deidara: “GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! I SAID YOU WERE MISUNDERSTOOD, I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU!”

Zetsu: “Aw…” -Walks away sadly-

Pein: -Busts down the door, holding chainsaw- “HEEEEEEEEEERE’S JOHNY!”

Kakuzu: “TELL THE AKATSUKI I’LL MISS THEM!”

Sasori: “Yeah, I’m not gonna do any of that.”

Deidara: “AND SASORI! I’M SORRY FOR ALL THOSE TIMES I SAID I HATED YOU! I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!”

Sasori: -Blank face-

Kakuzu: “That was a bit much.”

Zetsu: “You know, if you guys wanna live that bad I have a drug that makes people forget stuff.”

Kakuzu: “AND YOU DIDN’T MENTION BEFORE BECAUSE-OH FORGET IT JUST GIVE ME THE STUFF.”

Zetsu: -Tosses him a vile-

Kakuzu: -Runs and shoves it down Pein’s throat-

Pein: “DIE-….. What the hell am I doing he- EW. Sasori, you like Tsunade? You’re fucking nasty.”

Kakuzu: -Crying tears of happiness- “We’re saved!” -Snatches his money from Pein- “Giving away my money, I must’ve lost my damn mind. Oh, and Sasori, if you mention anything I said, I’ll fucking kill you.” -Walks out-

Sasori: -Blank face, no movement whatsoever-

Pein: “Huh… Well, I‘m very confused right now so I‘m gonna go lay down and watch porn-I mean continue mourning my daughter“ -Walks out-

Deidara: “…So… I’m NOT going to die…?”

Zetsu: -Smiling- “Nope!”

Deidara: “…Well, fuck me…” (OH… Bad choice of wording…) -Runs like hell-

Itachi: -Runs into the room with a video camera- “DAMMIT! DID I MISS ANYTHING?!”

Deidara: -Running past him- “Nope, nope. Nothing at all.”

Itachi: “Damn… It figures. I always- UGH You like Tsunade? Dude, that’s sick.” -Walks out-

Sasori: -In state of shock-

Tobi: -Falls from the roof- “Did someone say Tobi’s a good boy?!”

TO BE CONTINUED…