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NullifiedKnight — Promises
Published: 2010-03-29 08:10:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 65; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description I lay here in bed,
unable to sleep,
while I think, in my head,
of promises I keep.
Of ones that I've broken,
of some yet to be,
of some that are token,
of some made to me.
Of hopeful moments past,
of long gone memory...
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Comments: 7

alapip [2010-05-13 15:41:57 +0000 UTC]

excellent rhythm all the way
through except for the last
two lines - [no disrespect to
fiction-freak].

just the following tweak
would do it, i think -

Of hopeful times past,
long gone memory...

pip

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

fiction-freak [2010-04-22 15:02:22 +0000 UTC]

Of hopeful past moments,
Of long gone memory...

Sorry about that.
Those lines came to me.

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NullifiedKnight In reply to fiction-freak [2010-05-07 11:01:01 +0000 UTC]

Nothing to apologize for! I think it fits quite nicely.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

fiction-freak In reply to NullifiedKnight [2010-05-08 00:56:16 +0000 UTC]


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NullifiedKnight In reply to fiction-freak [2010-05-13 02:57:34 +0000 UTC]

I think it works!

I owe ya

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

fiction-freak In reply to NullifiedKnight [2010-05-13 05:47:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

fiction-freak In reply to NullifiedKnight [2010-05-13 05:37:25 +0000 UTC]

No problem

👍: 0 ⏩: 0