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Published: 2010-03-29 08:10:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 65; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 4
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Description
I lay here in bed,unable to sleep,
while I think, in my head,
of promises I keep.
Of ones that I've broken,
of some yet to be,
of some that are token,
of some made to me.
Of hopeful moments past,
of long gone memory...
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Comments: 7
alapip [2010-05-13 15:41:57 +0000 UTC]
excellent rhythm all the way
through except for the last
two lines - [no disrespect to
fiction-freak].
just the following tweak
would do it, i think -
Of hopeful times past,
long gone memory...pip
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
fiction-freak [2010-04-22 15:02:22 +0000 UTC]
Of hopeful past moments,
Of long gone memory...
Sorry about that.
Those lines came to me.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NullifiedKnight In reply to fiction-freak [2010-05-07 11:01:01 +0000 UTC]
Nothing to apologize for! I think it fits quite nicely.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
NullifiedKnight In reply to fiction-freak [2010-05-13 02:57:34 +0000 UTC]
I think it works!
I owe ya
👍: 0 ⏩: 2




