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oblivious-devotion — Defiled
Published: 2004-04-17 22:35:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 211; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 23
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Description Defiled
“I’m leaving,” Rachel muttered, “I’m sick of this damn place!” Angry tears blurred her hazel eyes as she grabbed her second-hand red duffel bag out of her closet and rapidly crammed her few belongings into it.. She threw her long dirty-dishwater blonde hair back in an elastic, then tiptoed down the stairs, careful to skip the step that creaked. Silently, she crept into the outdated kitchen to grab some food for the trip, stopping at her foster mom’s wallet on the phone table to grab some money. “Shit!” she muttered under her breath. There was only twenty-five dollars in the billfold. That amount wouldn’t get her far. “It’ll have to do,” she thought, as she tiptoed out the door.
...Rachel crossed the dew-wet lawn and headed toward the highway. It was cold out here! She wondered why she hadn’t thought to swipe her foster brother’s new ski coat. The cars were whooshing past, and Rachel thought that the headlights looked like unkind eyes, rushing at her from the darkness of the inky black night. Uncertainly, she stuck out her thumb. The bus station was too far to walk to, and she didn’t have a ride, she’d have to get one though. A beat up looking yellow station wagon with a “Save the whales” sticker on the front bumper, slowed, then stopped. The driver motioned for her to get in the car. Rachel hesitated, all the warnings people had ever given her about getting in a car with a stranger came charging into her brain. “I don’t have any other choice,” she thought to herself. So she got in the car.
Sitting at the steering wheel was a thirtyish man wearing a worn plaid shirt and a ragged pair of blue jeans.  Rachel couldn’t help noticing the muscles on his arms, which were quite obvious through the threadbare material of his shirt. He was otherwise quite attractive-in an strange sort of way. He had longish sandy blonde hair, and small brown eyes that were a little too close together. The picture was completed by a large nose set in a rugged, tanned face with a few days worth of stubble on a strong jaw. Rachel thought him about average on the attractive scale-for an old guy anyway.
“Hey, where ya goin’?” the stranger asked, when she had shut the door.
“The bus station,”
“You got a name you’d like to share,” he inquired.
“Chenelle,” Rachel used the first name of a favorite musician. She didn’t figure on this guy being all that scary, but it never hurt to use some caution. He would never know she was lying anyway.
“I’m Judd. Well hop in Chenelle, I’m actually headed right past the bus station, should be now trouble to drop you off,” he motioned for her to get in the car.
“Thanks,” Rachel said as she settled herself on the torn leather upholstery, and fastened her seatbelt. God, it stunk in here!
Judd attempted conversation a few times during the fifteen minute ride, but Rachel’s replies were short and uninterested. Judd obviously figured it out- she didn’t feel like conversing. They were a couple of blocks away from the bus stop when he asked her, “Honey, do you mind if I just drop you off here?” They were passing a small, but well taken care of park with lots of tall trees, and shrubs encompassing it’s perimeter, and complete with a plastic-and-metal playground set. Rachel thought it looked positively spooky in the moonlight.
“Sure, whatever’s fine,” said Rachel, passively, though she was wondering why just a block or so made a difference to this guy. She actually did mind though. Something about a deserted-looking park in the middle of the night in New Orleans didn’t exactly strike her as safe. Then again, she didn’t want to be a problem.
Judd pulled up next to the curb. “Thanks for the ride, it was really great of you to pick me up like that,” said Rachel as she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car.
“Sure thing Chenelle,” said Judd.
Rachel started down the sidewalk. She was feeling so alone now, with the dark pressing in on her from all sides, and was beginning to wonder if it had been such a hot idea to run away from her latest foster home. She had walked about twenty feet down the sidewalk when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see Judd running down the sidewalk. Had she forgotten something? She waited for him to catch up. He got to where she was standing, and without warning he grabbed her, pulling her close to his body, and covering her mouth with a callused hand as she struggled against him.
“You didn’t really think I’d let you get away, now, did you?” asked Judd in a strange, rasping voice.
Rachel tried to scream but she could not with that dirty hand clamped over her mouth.
“Now, you be a good little girl and don’t try to scream. As if anyone would hear you anyway.”
“What is he going to do with me?” thought Rachel frantically in a sort of shock. She found out a moment later as he threw her roughly onto the cold, damp ground. Judd unzipped his pants, and turned her over onto her back. Then her worst fear began to come true. He unzipped her pants as well, pulling them and her panties down around her ankles, then he thrust her legs apart roughly. He inserted himself into her, and she almost passed out because of the tearing pain between her legs. She wished she could faint. Just to get away from the horror, yet she couldn’t.
Then it was over, almost as quickly as it had begun. She rolled over onto her stomach, gasping for air. She tried to get to her feet, desperate to get away from her defiler. The jeans around her ankles prohibited her from doing anything but tripping. Her abuser laughed. “Can’t get away can you little girl,” he said in a strange tone. There was something very wrong with this man. He wrestled her off the ground and back to his car. “Don’t worry sweetheart, everything will be alright in no time,” he said in that peculiar voice. Rachel was to scared and ashamed of her stolen virginity to make any reply. Judd shoved her into the passenger seat of the car and gave her something, something in a dirty canteen.
“Drink that, whore,” he commanded. Rachel was not about to do anything for the bastard. He poured it down her throat when she wouldn’t drink it willingly.
Rachel gagged as the cool, slimy liquid slithered down her throat. Then she felt herself being pulled irresistibly into a forgiving darkness, with the sound knowledge that she would never wake up in this repulsive life again.
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Comments: 13

Largo-sensei [2004-06-15 12:45:34 +0000 UTC]

Very nice. Good word choice, and quite haunting to boot. Although like they said, more background on her situation, and more on him would make it better.

-Sparky

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oblivious-devotion In reply to Largo-sensei [2004-06-21 03:53:24 +0000 UTC]

yeah i keep thinking im gonna rework this one, but i just haven't! prolly should get on that, lol...thanx for the comment!

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ProfoundDesolation [2004-04-18 21:35:24 +0000 UTC]

wow...kelsey...you are a great writer. This is awesome...i love it!! I didnt know you wrote stuff like this, but...wow! im speechless, great job, my love!

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oblivious-devotion In reply to ProfoundDesolation [2004-04-18 22:28:42 +0000 UTC]

thanx my dear...i didnt know i wrote stuff like this either, lol. im still working on it tho

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simple-serendipity [2004-04-18 02:35:22 +0000 UTC]

I agree with giving some more details about why she was running away. You did a great job though! I love your descriptiveness and wordchoice! Awesome job!!!

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oblivious-devotion In reply to simple-serendipity [2004-04-18 02:38:33 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! I will keep working on it~the detail on the backgrounds, and the ending.

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insomnia-mae [2004-04-17 23:06:03 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! I LOVE IT!!!!!!! I knew as soon as she got into the car it would turn out w/her bein raped. I was thinkin "you stupid teen!!!" but, hey, I LOVE THE ENDING!!

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oblivious-devotion In reply to insomnia-mae [2004-04-17 23:34:33 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I wasn't sure if it was any good or not lol. Do you really like the ending, or should I change it. Do you think it's too weak?

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insomnia-mae In reply to oblivious-devotion [2004-04-18 18:28:53 +0000 UTC]

i liked the ending...but, you should do whatever you feel like. it is your story. you could do all sorts of stuff w/it...like, she murders him, or the cops come, or something along those lines.

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oblivious-devotion In reply to insomnia-mae [2004-04-18 18:33:04 +0000 UTC]

those are some good ideas...i think i might try out the one where she murders him...then again i might just leave it, lol. thanx for the suggestions!

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insomnia-mae In reply to oblivious-devotion [2004-04-18 20:26:38 +0000 UTC]

no prob!!

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Panther-Nora [2004-04-17 22:41:40 +0000 UTC]

This is really good. I was thinking that maybe you could add some details of why she was running away in the first place, and maybe more about the strangeness about Judd you hinted at. Overall though, I would say this is excelent.

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oblivious-devotion In reply to Panther-Nora [2004-04-17 23:36:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I think you're probly right about the strangeness of Judd, & the reason she's running away. I'll work on it!

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