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oblivious-devotion — mistake
Published: 2005-01-04 02:48:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 216; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 3
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Description A flickering of regret,
In those eyes that once danced,
An attempt to forget,
Then only acceptance.

A life filled with joy,
Snuffed with one huge mistake.
A mistake set out to destroy,
Leaving only an ache.

A choice made in anger
Wiped out all the good.
She wouldn’t see the danger
And did what she could, not what she should.

Sometimes its fine,
To do without thought
But others it’s twine,
And you’re in the knot.
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Comments: 12

infinite-shine [2005-01-14 04:19:24 +0000 UTC]

I like it, Kels. I decided that since everyone else did, I'd post my freestyle too. And possibly a few others, but I too hate my writing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oblivious-devotion In reply to infinite-shine [2005-02-20 02:35:00 +0000 UTC]

you shouldn't hate your work! its just not healthy, lol

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

insomnia-mae [2005-01-12 17:26:24 +0000 UTC]

it's pretty good kelsey. my freestyle was really really weird. haha, luke was wondering how i came up w/my lines they were like: Beautiful dreams...and awakening in hell. haha, but yours is great, i mostly liked the very last stanza. nice work babe

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Largo-sensei [2005-01-04 15:42:55 +0000 UTC]

i liked it, the rhyme scheme worked well, and the flow wasn't ever really distrupted. Do you guys know each other, or just happened to do a similar assignment?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oblivious-devotion In reply to Largo-sensei [2005-01-06 23:06:41 +0000 UTC]

who me and luke?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Largo-sensei In reply to oblivious-devotion [2005-01-11 23:38:55 +0000 UTC]

do you guys?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oblivious-devotion In reply to Largo-sensei [2005-02-20 02:36:06 +0000 UTC]

lol, no we know eachother...we go to the same school

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Psyco-in-a-box [2005-01-04 02:59:53 +0000 UTC]

nice work kels. most of mine suck.. but I think I did ok on the freestyle.... though it was a cliched topic

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oblivious-devotion In reply to Psyco-in-a-box [2005-01-04 04:52:19 +0000 UTC]

lol, thats okay most of mine suck too.....that was actually my freestyle. and there's nothing wrong w/ a cliche now and then

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Psyco-in-a-box In reply to oblivious-devotion [2005-01-04 22:36:55 +0000 UTC]

lol, I might post one if I happen to write one I like... possibly my freestyle

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oblivious-devotion In reply to Psyco-in-a-box [2005-01-06 23:08:35 +0000 UTC]

you should...i think if i write more that i like, i'll probably post them too

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Psyco-in-a-box In reply to oblivious-devotion [2005-01-07 00:49:07 +0000 UTC]

maybe... I typed a few up at school... so I might but I hate my writing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0