GoaliGrlTilDeath In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 14:46:12 +0000 UTC]

Brilliantly done. You did a great job of creating an entire story with just a few short words, and a story that's tailored to each reader. Excellent.

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oldest-boy In reply to GoaliGrlTilDeath [2008-10-30 16:04:28 +0000 UTC]

you're too kind,
thank you.

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HFXmermaid In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 14:42:26 +0000 UTC]

beautifully written

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oldest-boy In reply to HFXmermaid [2008-10-30 16:04:53 +0000 UTC]

thanks, i hope
you check out some
of my other work.

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Spaid In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 14:18:05 +0000 UTC]

This is one of those
perfect peices.

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oldest-boy In reply to Spaid [2008-10-30 16:05:43 +0000 UTC]

thanks, alot.

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estallidos In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 13:56:18 +0000 UTC]

congratulations, my dear.
short and bittersweet and blunt and perfect.

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oldest-boy In reply to estallidos [2008-10-30 16:05:58 +0000 UTC]

thanks.

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unnoticd In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 13:45:10 +0000 UTC]

love it!

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oldest-boy In reply to unnoticd [2008-10-30 16:06:14 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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RestlessBeauty In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 13:33:06 +0000 UTC]

Simple and to the point. Gorgeous Instant fave.

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oldest-boy In reply to RestlessBeauty [2008-10-30 16:06:40 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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RestlessBeauty In reply to oldest-boy [2008-10-31 15:16:56 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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RaimeiThunderChild In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 13:18:29 +0000 UTC]

Wow.

What a snap at the end - exactly what a haiku should have!

'd because I relate, and because it's beautiful.

Raimei

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to RaimeiThunderChild [2008-10-30 16:06:51 +0000 UTC]

thanks, i hope
you check out some
of my other work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

33M In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 12:48:39 +0000 UTC]

Congrats on your DD....

I love this.

M

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oldest-boy In reply to 33M [2008-10-30 16:07:28 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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feellikegod In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 12:09:08 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to feellikegod [2008-10-30 16:07:37 +0000 UTC]

thanks, i hope
you check out some
of my other work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

criissa In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 11:38:24 +0000 UTC]

love it. ;o;

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oldest-boy In reply to criissa [2008-10-30 16:07:47 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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SergeantChrisHayward In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 11:14:57 +0000 UTC]

Brilliant, keep up the good work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to SergeantChrisHayward [2008-10-30 16:07:54 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

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Rainwood-stock In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 10:51:24 +0000 UTC]

Powerful and thought provoking, this is brilliant.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Rainwood-stock [2008-10-30 16:08:12 +0000 UTC]

thanks, i hope
you check out some
of my other work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

pearl-dust In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 10:31:34 +0000 UTC]

beautifully expressed... am moved...

gr8 message of luving humanity...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to pearl-dust [2008-10-30 16:08:24 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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marshmallow-pies In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 09:48:34 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful. All the simplicity and depth that only a haiku can deliver... And what a captivating image of love littered on the ground!

Share the love around

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to marshmallow-pies [2008-10-30 16:08:50 +0000 UTC]

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Qoph-Silraqh In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 09:28:59 +0000 UTC]

Such simplicity and feeling. A saucer-full of words able to feed an irrigated field.

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oldest-boy In reply to Qoph-Silraqh [2008-10-30 16:09:03 +0000 UTC]

thank you!

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Drunken-Splice In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 09:16:02 +0000 UTC]

Interesting piece, but not a haiku. Actually, it's a senryu. The difference being that a haiku has some word that signifies a season (in japanese, the kigo), and a kireji which is harder to explain (has to do with a word used to make the structure of the poem). Not trying to say anything against the poem itself, just clarifying the form. Perhaps you knew this already, as the catergory does say Haiku and Eastern, but it appears to have been mislabeled by some of the other deviants here, and it's kind of a pet peeve of mine . Trying to raise awareness to the issue--the haiku is much more complex than just a 5-7-5 syllabic pattern.

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oldest-boy In reply to Drunken-Splice [2008-10-30 16:09:57 +0000 UTC]

food for thought.

thanks for reading,
nonetheless.

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archaii In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 08:05:33 +0000 UTC]

One of the best haiku's I've ever seen in my life!
It's just so ... wow.
Yeah lost for words.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to archaii [2008-10-30 16:10:07 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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Neondiod In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 07:50:19 +0000 UTC]

Nice-

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Neondiod [2008-10-30 16:10:14 +0000 UTC]

thanks

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Mekano-san In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 07:47:45 +0000 UTC]

T_T

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

oldest-boy In reply to Mekano-san [2009-04-28 20:43:38 +0000 UTC]

holy shit I just figured out that was tears.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

oldest-boy In reply to Mekano-san [2008-10-30 16:10:23 +0000 UTC]

O_O

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Mekano-san In reply to oldest-boy [2008-11-01 00:17:24 +0000 UTC]

Tears because it's so wonderful...so beautiful...

and so biographical (pertaining to me)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

oldest-boy In reply to Mekano-san [2008-11-01 18:22:09 +0000 UTC]

word.

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Mekano-san In reply to oldest-boy [2008-11-03 05:05:11 +0000 UTC]

sentence

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Nextrockangel In reply to ??? [2008-10-30 07:33:34 +0000 UTC]

This is really good !!!!

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oldest-boy In reply to Nextrockangel [2008-10-30 16:10:28 +0000 UTC]

thanks, i hope
you check out some
of my other work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Nextrockangel In reply to oldest-boy [2008-11-01 07:38:30 +0000 UTC]

Sure

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xxLadyBugxx In reply to ??? [2008-10-20 06:35:30 +0000 UTC]

I am amazed by this beauty of this poem.

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oldest-boy In reply to xxLadyBugxx [2008-10-20 14:31:56 +0000 UTC]

thank you !

that means alot.

i hope it inspires you to look further into my work.

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xxLadyBugxx In reply to oldest-boy [2008-10-20 22:44:20 +0000 UTC]

I am actually just beginning to really dabble into writing and photography, so poetry such as yours always provides me with inspiration!

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oldest-boy In reply to xxLadyBugxx [2008-10-21 13:12:31 +0000 UTC]

that's a wonderful thing to say.

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