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Description
with all our daily forward thinking, sometimes we find ourselves snapped back into the present by something terrible. and sometimes when these things happen, there is no one to blame for them.
I know the vet said on multiple occasions that she was in no pain, but when she started to make a wailing sound so distressing, I can't help second guessing this advice.
taking the pain away by putting you down was the easy part. picking up your tiny, broken body was not. she was so light in my arms. like her spirit leaving her had taken everything and all I could do was hold her. after all she had been through in her 14 years of life, I truly believed nothing could stop her. she was a trooper. more tenacious than any soul I've ever met. sometimes I felt a little ashamed not showing the same amount of courage as a 3.7 pound pup.
as the runty pup of a small litter, she had many challenges and met every single one of them head on.
this is the Wookie I want to remember. the weird noises and silly things she used to do...they made me love her more than I can say. when I was forced to relinquish her to have her cremated with the knowledge I will never again hear her zipper sounding growl, feel the warmth of her tiny body sleeping beside me, being prodded in the side with her tiny paw when she wanted something, being barked at for not getting her food fast enough, how she used to gently paw my face back when she wasn't done grooming me, how pulling up the venetian blinds made her go crazy like windows were not made to be opened, attacking my swiffer mop while trying to "help" us clean the kitchen, how much she alligator rolled across the table when we cut her nails or tried putting a sweater on with a protesting voice that sounded very much like an angry Donald Duck...it's like losing pieces of myself.

this is the Wookie I want everyone who knew her to remember. I never thought one as tenacious as she could possibly be stopped by anything.
the only solace i can give myself is during her 14 years, she was never unhappy. she had the best food, vet care, a thousand and one soft blankets and dog beds even though most nights you were in bed with me or mom...she wanted for nothing.

I apologize if this sounds disjointed, It still doesn't seem real.

Description
with all our daily forward thinking, sometimes we find ourselves snapped back into the present by something terrible. and sometimes when these things happen, there is no one to blame for them.
I know the vet said on multiple occasions that she was in no pain, but when she started to make a wailing sound so distressing, I can't help second guessing this advice.
taking the pain away by putting you down was the easy part. picking up your tiny, broken body was not. she was so light in my arms. like her spirit leaving her had taken everything and all I could do was hold her. after all she had been through in her 14 years of life, I truly believed nothing could stop her. she was a trooper. more tenacious than any soul I've ever met. sometimes I felt a little ashamed not showing the same amount of courage as a 3.7 pound pup.
as the runty pup of a small litter, she had many challenges and met every single one of them head on.
this is the Wookie I want to remember. the weird noises and silly things she used to do...they made me love her more than I can say. when I was forced to relinquish her to have her cremated with the knowledge I will never again hear her zipper sounding growl, feel the warmth of her tiny body sleeping beside me, being prodded in the side with her tiny paw when she wanted something, being barked at for not getting her food fast enough, how she used to gently paw my face back when she wasn't done grooming me, how pulling up the venetian blinds made her go crazy like windows were not made to be opened, attacking my swiffer mop while trying to "help" us clean the kitchen, how much she alligator rolled across the table when we cut her nails or tried putting a sweater on with a protesting voice that sounded very much like an angry Donald Duck...it's like losing pieces of myself.

this is the Wookie I want everyone who knew her to remember. I never thought one as tenacious as she could possibly be stopped by anything.
the only solace i can give myself is during her 14 years, she was never unhappy. she had the best food, vet care, a thousand and one soft blankets and dog beds even though most nights you were in bed with me or mom...she wanted for nothing.

I apologize if this sounds disjointed, It still doesn't seem real.