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omnipotent-lion — Cycles
Published: 2007-07-07 01:32:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 262; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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Description
Two hearts, two homes.Each had a place to call their own.
Now he's at the sink, and she's in the shower,
She'll prepare dinner if he'll bring the flowers.
They'll walk on the beach, side by side.
They'll hold hands, as their hearts collide.
Two homes, one heart.
Even though they're worlds apart.
She'll laugh, he'll cry.
Now and then, they'll wonder why.
He's here, she's there.
They'll meet each other in their own Nowhere.
One home, two hearts.
Now they fade and drift apart.
She'll do the dishes if he'll mow the lawn.
They're playing chess, but they're both pawns.
He'll smile, she'll sigh.
Hide themselves under so many lies.
Two homes, two hearts.
Each end means another start.
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Comments: 5
I like the two-line stanzas. Of course I like the rhyming too... [insert nerdy laugh here]
Normally with short stanzas I'd feel that there isn't enough space/lines to get the general feel across, but I thought you did a good job, despite only using two lines.
And I liked how they go from being apart to together to apart again. It seems a very natural sort of flow, like sometimes life is like that and even if at the time it doesn't seem orderly, it actually has a sort of pattern to follow later when you look back on it.
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Haha, I love real writers. Other peoples comments: lolz!!! dis poem is kewl!!! I lyked it lots. ^_____^
Okay, so, a little exaggeration, but...you get the point. The comments of real writers like us make me smile. ^_^ Thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I really like how the hearts and home parts change. x3
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