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omnipotent-lion — Fifteen
Published: 2007-01-16 23:13:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 569; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 2
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Description
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,Fifteen birthdays have come and gone.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
And the years roll on and on.
Fifteen New Years, fifteen vows,
All have had their say.
Fifteen times I’ve felt the joy
Of another Christmas day.
Fifteen times I’ve woken up,
To freshly fallen snow.
Fifteen fires burning bright,
How many more, I do not know.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
Fifteen birthdays have come and gone.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
And the years roll on and on.
Fifteen times has summer died,
And Autumn took its place.
Fifteen school bells and fallen leaves,
Fifteen dresses trimmed with lace.
Fifteen breezes fill the air,
With the pleasant smoky smell.
Fifteen sunsets a burning red,
How many more, I cannot tell.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
Fifteen birthdays have come and gone.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
And many more to come.
Fifteen flowers Spring has brought,
Fifteen birds have sung.
Fifteen smiles on children’s faces,
As they greet the returning sun.
Fifteen snowdrops greet the world,
And fifteen rain clouds form.
Fifteen lions become fifteen lambs,
And thunder calls out fifteen storms.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
Fifteen birthdays have come and gone.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
And many more to come.
Fifteen summers of burning feet,
On pavement or on beach’s sand.
Fifteen children go out to play,
As sunlight heats the land.
Fifteen stars shine just for me,
And fifteen fireworks blaze.
Fifteen canoes glide ‘cross the lake,
In the summer haze.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
Fifteen birthdays come and gone.
Fifteen years and fifteen candles,
And the years move slowly
On and on.
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Comments: 36
I really liked it! Hehehehe... I'm featuring it on a quiz of mine... ^_^
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I really loved this piece... I'm kinda old so it made me think about when i was 15, which was a great year in my life. Beautifully written sweetie
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Thank you!Glad you liked it. Fifteen is a pretty great year.
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Okay....so I *still* love this poem...and um. *scrolls back up* oh. "taken" instead of "took" would work in the way way you currently have it written. If you still want it to say took (I never concede a point on my pieces, so I would understand this!) then you would need to change around 'summer' and 'has'. Then it would read,
"Fifteen times summer has died,
And Autumn took its place."
I don't know...probably just me! But I would like it better rewritten like so.
Umm. Again, love your rhyme scheme! I so wish we had you in our creative writing club at my school! *cries*
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yeah, I think my friend suggested that...I should chage it....
Thanks!!
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personally, it made me want to cry. It made me think about those kids at VT, and how they though tthey would live to see next years birthday, next years friends.
It was beautiful. ( have you noticed when your in the shower you get great ideas?)
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Yeah, I know---showers are good for the muse ^^ That's true---in light of the recent incident, it's especially poignent. Glad you liked.
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You are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and very nice too
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*blush* you flatter me with your niceness. ^^
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Its my job to be sweet.
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i like this a lot.
the rhythm works well, and you kept it flowing nicely. the repetition is good. it's awesome. i don't really have any suggestions for it.
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Thanks for the comment! I appreciate it.
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I love this piece. I espescially like this bit:
"Fifteen breezes fill the air,
With the pleasant smoky smell.
Fifteen sunsets a burning red,
How many more, I cannot tell."
so beautiful.
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I am in LOVE with the repetition in this poem, it works so well with the theme. Oh, and your fifth stanza. I'm in love with that, too <3
Only thing i would suggest is rearranging them so they follow a more linear progression (winter, spring, summer, fall, or in whatever order), and maybe add 2 more stanzas for poetic irony so you have 15 of them XD
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Thanks for the comments! I think I meant to do them in linear order...guess not 
Glad you liked.
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Nicely done - well done keeping the rhythm, I suck at that one!
One critique (sorry for being a geek with this) 'All have had there say' I think that 'there' should 'their'
Otherwise it owns! x
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haha, thanks, yeah my friend pointed it out a while ago...i never got around to changing it.
thanks for the comment ^^
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ah, now i look....ah well, other than that tis good x
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haha, thanks, yeah my friend pointed it out a while ago...i never got around to changing it.
thanks for the comment ^^
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I like it! It's all..erm..bouncy..and fun. Wow, my comments are just awesome.
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*ponders* bouncy? ^^
thanks for the comment
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I like this. But why 15?
I know for me 15 symbolizes the year of my life when I came to a realization:
You have to grow up sometime.
But what did it mean for you?
I'm just curious.
Anyhow, I loved the poem.
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well, i'm fifteen now, so...yeah.
thanks!
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"All have had there say." Their?
"Fifteen times has summer died,
And Autumn took its place."
It's probably just me, 
"Fifteen smile on children’s faces," smiles. ^^
It sounds peaceful, but it also makes someone feel old. x3
Sorry bout all the spelling and grammer, I couldn't restrain myslef. ^___^
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by the by, you spelled "self" wrong
*grins broadly*
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i literally wrote it in ten miniutes and did no editing at all, so...
hmph. i liked it. so there. and you are old.
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You don't sound very happy. ^^
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