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onek1995 — 1 - Allison Reopens The JSG
Published: 2019-08-05 02:15:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 2157; Favourites: 21; Downloads: 7
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“I just finished the initial workout here and now it's time to reopen again. Im really excited on how it looks and I thought I’d show you around a bit. You’ve all gotten some glimpses and while I don’t think it’s a huge revelation in exercise and the things one can do, it’s very special to me and I hope you enjoy the upgrades. While we are here there are some people I’d like you to meet as well. I’ll give an introduction and a bit of background information about them. I hope they enhance the James Street Gym experience and make it your first choice when you come to our area.”
AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the life of me I could not figure out how to do this in any way that made sense so I went with just 'breaking down the fourth wall'. It may not be the cleanest way to do things but I think it got me where I wanted to go. There likely wont be many instances of this format in the future but I guess you never know.
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Comments: 12
That is a distracting outfit on Allison, clearly you're not happy with the set and you're trying to keep our attention elsewhere.
No seriously, I like this approach. It seems pretty clean to me, it's a little different and it works (or almost works) because this makes you the reader feel like you're part of it all. Like we're stakeholders in the JSG in a way.
Sorry I'm late but definitely a fan of this and I wanted to let you know.
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That seems to be the consensus. It plays pretty well with the overall 'viewing' of the gym. I wouldn't want to take this route very often but for this Im very glad it worked.
And Allison's outfit I have to say does look great. Im using it as Raye's ring gear but Allison kills it for workouts!! And lets not forget Christiane as well....
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I agree with everyone else. This approach works just fine. The only other way to do it would be to try to work it in as part of something else. Maybe have Allison take some of the known characters on a tour of the new facility. But you've got a different strategy going here. The only "something else" you seem to have planned is to introduce some new characters.
In other words, there's a whole lot of new... and that calls for a new approach, too.
So far, I'm looking at this almost like I'm thinking of this almost like a promotional video. We'll see how that angle holds up.
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I thought of doing the tour thing but who gets the tour? More than one person certainly deserves it. In fact all the old girls do. I couldnt have pulled that off under any circumstances. I like your promo video thought..... Im going with that if it gets brought up!
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I think RichelleW makes an interesting point with her idea about a promo video, Oney. You might want to add that to your to-do list.
As for "who gets the tour," you've already broken the 4th wall, so I'd keep that flow going. Make it a p.o.v. short. It's not the easiest thing to do, but can be done effectively for a short film, I think. If you think of it as a spot, rather than a feature, I think you can do it justice... just more ideas to play with.
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I'll agree with Shanna1600 . It's an interesting/intriguing method of introduction in still fiction.
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We seem to agree a lot. I like how you think. 
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Thanks Dixie. Its nice to know my thinking isn't too far off base. It eases my mind some.
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I cant agree more. She seems to get better each time I make an image!
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I agree that 'breaking the fourth wall' doesn't always work ... in fact it rarely works. But here I think it actually suits the situation just fine ... a way of introducing the audience to the changes that have taken place at the JSG as it prepares to re-open now that the threat provided by Katie has been dealt with and eliminated!
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Thanks for that. I worry that a change of this sort sort of ruins what has been built. Im glad it doesnt do that, or at least it doesn't appear to have set me back a bit.
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