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Published: 2014-02-12 06:13:53 +0000 UTC; Views: 4912; Favourites: 123; Downloads: 0
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Description
When I’m drunk oryou’re drunk or
we’re drunk
and uncommitted at the same bar,
we leave together,
sit and fiddle with beers
at your place
my place
your dad’s place?
someone’s place,
laugh at the dramatic-moment music
in movies made when I was three,
talk about my ex-
cat, how you got high and played
in the snow,
and you find the shower
eventually after a beer-chug
beer-spill
beer-ponder,
myself trailing, tiptoeing
into the jeans-and-boxers puddle,
placing my folded clothes on the sink,
slipping in behind
the temperature adjustment
from the fjord-freezing or lobster-boiling
you turned on yourself
and while you wash my back,
pressing the curves with longing
lazy, I rub the soap into your red-
blue diamonds
as if I want the ink to stain
my fingers and
you slip inside me like water
and I watch your legs
bowing behind mine
and think of birds
(I am too
short for this love;
you give up, laughing,
untoweled thin body dripping
on the comforter),
and you won’t say my name
and I won’t ask if you want to get dinner
but at least your hunger looks me in the eye.
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Comments: 35
TaylorNicoleReed [2014-06-29 08:34:13 +0000 UTC]
I don't really know why this gets to me the way it does, it's hard to explain. It's one of those things that gets under your skin. Nostalgia's a beeyotch.
I love this, by the way. Favorited to read again later.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to TaylorNicoleReed [2014-08-19 03:38:21 +0000 UTC]
Nostalgia is indeed quite a bitch. That being said, I'm glad it gets under your skin.
Awww. Thank you! :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
cofispoon [2014-06-17 07:52:02 +0000 UTC]
This makes me think of something I would have written about an ex of mine, which is to say I have felt these emotions nearly to a tee and I must say they make the most bittersweet muses. This is lovely and now I shall spend the rest of my evening feeling very nostalgic. Thank you for sharing
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to cofispoon [2014-08-19 03:39:11 +0000 UTC]
I think everyone should have someone like this, honestly. They can be the best muses.
Thanks for enjoying
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lAdamantynel [2014-06-16 07:31:53 +0000 UTC]
Okay, I'm gonna put myself on the line here and ask: what are the diamonds?
I have tried, but alas, I cannot figure out what you mean by that
That aside, I really liked this. I especially love the ending
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to lAdamantynel [2014-06-17 04:54:11 +0000 UTC]
Haha, I tried to make it sorta clear that the diamonds are a tattoo, but I understand it's a little cryptic.
He has blue and red diamonds tattooed on his back. They're a reference to the book Wicked.
Thank you for the question and the kind comment
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to Karinta [2014-06-17 04:49:04 +0000 UTC]
I think it's interesting that you commented on (and I assume enjoyed) two poems about the same person
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Karinta In reply to oracle-of-nonsense [2014-06-17 17:49:27 +0000 UTC]
I did enjoy both, but I didn't realise their topics were the same.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to Karinta [2014-06-18 23:07:28 +0000 UTC]
They are Hope that didn't ruin them for you
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TheGalleryOfEve [2014-06-16 02:24:26 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Nightshade255 [2014-06-16 02:05:57 +0000 UTC]
reads like a Watsky song in my opinion, which should tell you that it is great stuff. 10/10, great imagery.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to Nightshade255 [2014-06-17 04:50:21 +0000 UTC]
I am honored by the comparison. Thank you
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MenelausII [2014-06-16 00:14:06 +0000 UTC]
I like it, although i don't think i'm in quit the same position as the main character I have recently gained a fine appreciation for showering with someone
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to MenelausII [2014-06-17 04:51:29 +0000 UTC]
It is a wonderful intimate experience when done correctly
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
MenelausII In reply to oracle-of-nonsense [2014-06-17 05:31:49 +0000 UTC]
Yes it is.... *gets lost in the memory* Love is amazing
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ShaozChampion [2014-06-15 15:46:39 +0000 UTC]
very well carried out ^^ it's beautiful
Congrats on your DD ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to Harryeagle [2014-06-17 04:52:57 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you think so
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
JoannaMoory [2014-06-15 07:48:46 +0000 UTC]
Well written. So capturing from the very first lines.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
enigmaticsmile [2014-03-13 03:55:30 +0000 UTC]
WhahahahahaYES! The last line just signs it, seals it, addresses it, stamps it and send it on it's way!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to enigmaticsmile [2014-03-14 16:19:36 +0000 UTC]
:3 Thank you so much. It always means a lot to hear from you
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
saltwaterlungs [2014-03-13 01:00:08 +0000 UTC]
I love the structure, and the flow is really solid too. Everything leads easily into the other lines. Also, the imagery is down-right incredible; it's like you've written in opictures rather than words and I love the tone too, and overall this is a really frickin' fabulous piece!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to saltwaterlungs [2014-03-14 16:19:55 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
DailyLitDeviations [2014-03-12 01:53:08 +0000 UTC]
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DailyLitDeviations and has been selected as our “Pick of the Day”. It is featured in a news article here: dailylitdeviations.deviantart.… and on our main page.
Keep writing and keep creating.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to DailyLitDeviations [2014-03-14 16:17:31 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
thereaperman [2014-02-12 12:03:31 +0000 UTC]
Powerful. I love the way you've structured this and the subject matter, but feel sad you've had such a crappy experience. keep them coming
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oracle-of-nonsense In reply to thereaperman [2014-02-15 06:40:22 +0000 UTC]
Thank you, the structure came mostly in the second draft, so I'm glad you like it. This is actually the less crappy experience
👍: 0 ⏩: 0