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The things we cannot do...

                          I cannot cry
                          Because I don't want people
                           To ask me 'Why' or 'What's wrong?'

I have to smile
for fear that people
will see the emotion hidden
by secrets and lies

                              I cannot run
                              Because i am to afraid
                              of the future that lies in store

I have to hide
For people think I'm content now,
And those that know the truth, no longer trust me to be myself

                               I wish to confess, but the words won't come.
                               They remain hidden; manic, secret thoughts
                               chained within the padded asylum of my mind.

  I can't put the pieces back together
  of a broken glass
  Second Law of Thermodynamics
  proud, cruel and mischievous lass

                                 I can't make an omelet
                                 without messing it up
                                 Round is how I want it
                                 and not a massacre in Iraq

   I can't make this rhyme
   They'll blame me for it
   and I won't get any profit
   So what? I don't mind

                                  I can't be the only one who knows you,
                                  a taste of your personas isn't enough for me.
                                  I'm nothin' of this passable man you see.

     I meant well in all
     But with evil in my heart
     All my actions fail

                                   I won't fall
                                   Terrified of being crushed
                                   By the hate or worry all around.

      i cannot feel
      pain, my heart, my mouth
      my toungue betrays me
      spiralling down
      deeper into you
      it's all i
      can do
      to barely afloat
      when drowning is so much
      more
      pleasurable

                                     but i shall still try;
                                     to go on with a pure heart.
                                     i hate that anyone is hurt by me,
                                     that was not my mission;
                                     never have i wanted that;
                                     not even from the start.

     I'm sorry I'm not perfect;
     although I swear; I do really try.
     But just knowing I'm not good enough,
     tends to make me wish to cry.

                                                            I cannot love
                                                            For fear of loss
                                                            I cannot hear you sing
                                                            For fear of obvious

    I cannot be who I am.
    I have worn the mask so long I cannot remove it.
    I am afraid of what hides behind and I cannot face the truth.

                              I have tried to be what you needed me to be.
                              I have struggled and I have changed,
                              but in the end,
                              I cannot.
                              In the end,
                              I can only be what I am.
                              I only pray that is enough.