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paintausea — Birthday
#birthday #depression #egg #fetus #newborn #regret #paintausea
Published: 2015-08-27 19:52:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 4402; Favourites: 115; Downloads: 22
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Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the cake and the birthday wishes...I am really touched and grateful for having you taken the time to think of me on this day...
Take care everyone...
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Comments: 85
Happ-...
H O R R I B L E....
Birthday....
to me....
Why was I...
even born...?
I never asked for this...
life with this hell...
within my head...
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As the eggshells continue to crack...
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Crick crack-
My sanctuary that protects me from the outside,
won't be able to cover me anymore,
too much light, too much to know,
Too much for me...
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/nods silently...
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I don't really know what to say to this one.......................breaks my heart but gives hope of a new day!
greatly done.
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I am happy that you were able to feel this piece...
Thank you so much (:
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Now that is mirical of birth by friend
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It is a human fetus in an egg...
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A lot of your paintings seem to have something to do with fetuses or young children. Normally dead, dying, or abused. May I ask why? You don't have to answer if it is personal.
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I have a personal love for fetuses..
Though in the connection of these two-- it is myself trying to represent my past helpless child self and state...
There are a lot of personal things in these paintings, that I do not wish to speak out in words, but rather paint them...
I feel like it is okay to do it this way...
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Okay. Well my condolences.
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That's alright. Thank you.. I appreciate it..
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Happy birthday Kap. Hope you had a swell one. I wish I got it on the day, but you know how it is when you're working 10 hours a day with no pay.
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Oh god.. ): I'm sorry... must be horribly stressful..
But really, don't worry about it. I forget birthdays all the time...
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It's a little stressful, but these days I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not stressed. Graduate school is the worst. People say it'll pay off in the end, but I kinda doubt it. How much unpaid labor does it take to pay my bills?
On the subject of birthdays, one time I forgot about my birthday until 3 days after it happened. I don't really know what was worse, the fact that I didn't remember, or no one reminded me. I don't like my birthday very much. I guess it isn't much of a cause for celebration for me.
Either way, I hope you had a good one. I think you deserve it more than most.
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Just.. opportunities I guess... People are shallow and need documents to see you're worth..?
I'm so sorry.. I would've loved to remind you, but I'm always so caught up and busy with my depression and disorders that I don't know what day it is most of the times...
I actually forgot my own birthday as well, til someone congratulated me on dA..
I'm so sorry no one did for you.. That's just horribly heartbreaking...
Are you alone mostly...?
I don't like to think that I deserve anything more than anyone else...
If I were to compare myself like that, it would make me even more depressed...
I'd like to be treated as an equal to everyone else... I want to believe we all are..
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I'd say I am alone for the most part, and I have been for pretty much all of my life. Outside of work, I really don't spend time with anyone. There was a point in my life when I hadn't spoken to another person in 3 months. That was kind of odd when I think about it. I've found it's best if I just bury myself with work so I don't have to think about anything else. I can't seem to rationalize the way other people act, and because of that, I never really get along well with others in the long run. It also seems that every time I try to get along with others, I am harshly reminded of why I don't.
Basically, my life is hard, I just want to get through a day, and no one makes that easier to do.
I also don't believe anyone is treated equal. Everyone, myself included, favors some over others.
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I'm sorry I haven't responded to this for such a long time...
I have so many anxieties and feel easily overwhelmed...
but I completely understand what you're going through...
I really don't have many friends myself.. I lock myself up in my apartment day in and day out...
I think though that you are just mostly.. very misunderstood..
And that you need your space and some time.. to be able to flourish a bit...
You are such a kind person... I believe that...
Please.. somehow keep strong...
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I figure most people don't really want to take the time to understand me, especially considering my views go very much against the grain. I don't like to expose other people to my issues, and it's pretty hard to do that when they really define who I am. I just try to be satisfied with being good enough for myself. It's easy to appreciate being alone when the alternative isn't so appealing. It's kind of weird, but most of the people I work with say I'm the most relaxed person they've ever met. The fact of the matter is that I am so preoccupied with my more long term problems that what I view as insignificant hic ups throughout the day don't bother me. This also makes me very impatient with people's self-generated drama problems because I don't view them as a pressing concern. All that kind of adds up to me being generally difficult to get along with for more than like an hour.
Something I've done for a good number of years now is just going on really long walks while listening to music. Doesn't require companions, it's free, and it helps me reevaluate where I'm at. Of course I benefit from living in a rural area where I can just wander into the woods whenever I please. Around here I can literally just disappear for days at a time if I have the days off.
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It makes me happy that you've come to terms with being alone.. it would make sense yes..
I pretty much feel the same way..
I try not to be too judgmental about other people's issues and views and feelings about things.
As they have not gone my path, I also have not theirs.
This regarding that even though the past is also what defines me, that if I had lived a "normal" life.. I would perhaps be the same as them.Or not. I'm not sure..
Though I do get my moments of anger when people loosely talk and use terms that have very pressuring issues at hand, but don't care to think much about it because it's just another form of expressing their thoughts. I usually just try to laugh it away.. laugh away at people who worry about the modern problems that seem to eat at them.. just quietly laugh and look down tiredly...
It's wonderful that you're able to do that..
I have too many anxieties to be able to do this.. though woods would be really great...
I really dislike living in this city..
I think you should always cherish those moments dearly and continue doing that. It really helps the mind...
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Like the emoticon says! Sorry I missed the day. I've been moving into college for the past couple of days.
Best wishes!
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That's fine don't worry about it. Hope everythings working out in college? Good luck there!
--Thank you!
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I'm sorry I wasn't online sooner
But I still wish you a happy happy next year of your life
May it be relaxing and peaceful and enjoyable <3
I love and care about you <3
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag
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Thank you so much... (:
Don't worry about being not online..
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Keep an eye on the mailbox I say
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didn't know humans hatched. my whole life is a lie!
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-hugs tightly!-
Thank you sweety... Hope you're doing better..!!
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I'm okay...just a little sad here and there...but I'm hanging on...
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I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry.. I don't know how to help..
I am also very sad...
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Oh, Grace! You have already helped so much! Do you know how much I want to hold you? Please don't be sad! (ó_ò)
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