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PandaWolfArt — Why by-nc-nd

Published: 2011-03-06 20:32:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 1025; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 0
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Description "How old would you say that girl is?" Clockwork asked, and Sapphire looked to where he was pointing with his staff.
"No more than fourteen." she replied, watching as the girl stared intently at a large piece of paper. The only movement she saw was the occasional frantic scribble of the pencil as she came up with new ideas, then still once more.
"And what do you suppose she's writing?" Clockwork continued, and Sapphire hesitated before replying again.
"Plans. To kill people." she said, recognizing the girl as she finally blinked the aqua blue eyes when long brunette hair fell into them. "That's me, isn't it?" She eventually asked, and Clockwork nodded.
"Yes, it's you, five years ago." he confirmed, and Sapphire looked sadly at what she had been.
"Those plans... I wanted to kill people. That wasn't me." she eventually said, trying to make sense of the thoughts in her head as the memories came rushing back. "I wanted to set fire to the school, trying to figure out the best time to do it and how."
"You weren't in a good place then." Clockwork finished for her, and it was Sapphire's turn to nod.
"Yes." she simply replied, watching her younger self for a little longer. "I still have those plans." she finally stated.
"I know." Clockwork replied with a frown. "Why do you still have them?"
"To remind me to never become what I was back then ever again." Sapphire said.
"And yet they still hurt you." Clockwork replied. Sapphire nodded again.
"Yeah." There was a small silence between the two ghosts as they watched fresh blood drip from 13-year-old Sapphire's lip. "I'm going to throw them away." She finally said, and a small smile spread on Clockwork's face.
"Really?" he asked, and the half-ghost smiled, if somewhat sadly.
"Yeah, they're just bringing me back to a past I'd rather forget." she said with a small forced laugh at the end.
"Shall we leave then?" Clockwork asked, and Sapphire nodded.
"Just... Let me do one thing, please?" she asked, and Clockwork nodded with a smile. He already knew what she would do. Without a word, the 17-year-old brought out a small notepad and a pen from the little bag hanging around her waist, scribbling hastily and tearing out the page when it was done. She left it neatly folded on the bed and allowed Clockwork to transport them back to her own time.

Later, when the 13-year-old Sapphire was near total exhaustion at 4 or 5 A.M., she finally found the piece of paper which had mysteriously appeared on her bed. She glanced around the room in confusion, wondering how on Earth it had got there, but when she found no explaination, she opened the tiny note. There was only two words on there, but the words made her smile.

Be Strong.
~~~~

I drew this after listening to two songs; Conversations with my 13 year old self by P!nk and Why by Secondhand Serenade.
That's how I really did look when I was thirteen. Very long hair, lots of cuts; some intentional, some not, lots of bandages; some for genuine reasons and some just for the hope of a little extra attention.
I lost my mind back then. It wasn't pleasant. I turned insomniac which I'm still struggling to get back under control, and every single night I drew up intricate plans to kill. If I wasn't doing that, I was crying into my pillow, praying for God to end my life or to give me something worth living for, because I didn't see any reason to keep on living.
It's amazing how much has changed since then, but God, I hate thinking back on it.

Clockwork (c) Butch Hartman
Sapphire and Picture (c) Me.
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Comments: 28

SeiraBunny [2012-08-09 23:53:38 +0000 UTC]

Though really nice story and picture love it! <3 :3

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SeiraBunny [2012-08-09 23:53:10 +0000 UTC]

I wonder something... Wasn't Sapphire evil? I mean didn't she have red hair and being all red and evil and stuff? Or is it just me? I really wonder

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PandaWolfArt In reply to SeiraBunny [2012-08-12 10:23:16 +0000 UTC]

You're thinking of Ruby, the AU version of Sapphire/Me.

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SeiraBunny In reply to PandaWolfArt [2012-08-12 16:13:32 +0000 UTC]

oki, i think i get it... I like her design, it's cool

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PandaWolfArt In reply to SeiraBunny [2012-08-12 18:45:09 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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SeiraBunny In reply to PandaWolfArt [2012-08-12 21:25:25 +0000 UTC]

your welcome! I wonder something... Do you plan on continuing the comic A fallen star or what it's name is? You know the one that Danny turns evil in, cause hi's tired of being treated like a bad guy when he is a good guy? Please i love that comic,

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PandaWolfArt In reply to SeiraBunny [2012-08-12 21:55:58 +0000 UTC]

Yes, I am, but it's currently on hiatus for 4 reasons really.
1. I'm currently injured and sitting up for a long time really hurts. I've only been able to draw what I have recently because it's all stress related.
2. I'm just about to start University which is a very intensive course.
3. I have 4 other projects on the go too, Fallen Star is entirely non-profit and I earn nothing from it.
4. I have a serious art block right now, I haven't had any real inspiration for Fallen Star for several months.

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SeiraBunny In reply to PandaWolfArt [2012-08-12 21:57:51 +0000 UTC]

Oki i get it

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ZutaraGirl234567 [2011-05-19 21:47:27 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful story, beautiful song, beautiful picture. I'm glad that you've gotten to a much better place now.

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Sparklepool [2011-04-01 08:23:53 +0000 UTC]

Your little story made me speachless... I dont know how to reply to it...

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Piniks [2011-03-25 01:46:16 +0000 UTC]

Ah, 13... there's just something about that age. I wasn't in a good place either when I was 13.

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WickedGhoul [2011-03-07 02:08:13 +0000 UTC]

I love that song. It's amazing!
Very good picture and awesome story to go along with it. I'm just glad your getting over that stuff

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PandaWolfArt In reply to WickedGhoul [2011-03-07 21:42:02 +0000 UTC]

They both are amazing songs, they've really helped me the past few days :3
Thank you so much X3

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naan21 [2011-03-06 22:03:12 +0000 UTC]

Wow. Be strong indeed. I'm glad you changed though, for the better. I can't even begin to imagine you like that.

Its so great to watch you now, and see what an awesome friend I have. And scary how close it could have been to not being so.

I may suck at putting things into words. But I hope you can understand what I mean.

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-06 22:17:09 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad I changed too; I wasn't a nice person at all. I was very reclusive, wouldn't talk to anyone and often imagined killing them... It wasn't nice D:

Awh, thank you so much C: (I'm actually tearing up because of this ;; ) I have an awesome friend in you too, I don't know where I would be without you and all the many other people who have helped me get where I am today :3

I really do understand what you mean C:

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-06 22:41:31 +0000 UTC]

I was similar when I was younger, mostly due to bullies. Though I have a lot of good friends now, here and in person! C:

>w< yay, I'm glad! Its amazing what technology does today isn't it? Allowing so many friends to be right on your doorstep, that would probably have never known could exist otherwise! I'm glad I could be here for you, and glad I can be here through better or worse. Because really, I love all my friends, and I really want you all to be as happy as you can be

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-06 22:48:48 +0000 UTC]

Ugh, bullying is the worst Bullies were the whole reason I was so horrible :C Most of my friends are on here, and in all honesty, I wouldn't have it any other way

Technically, if you have a laptop, all your friends are right in your lap! But yeah, technology is such a wonder and a blessing to have I like to think one day everything will be like Futurama and we can just step straight into the internet I love all my friends too, and I thank whatever deity gave everyone to me everyday for such a wonderful part of my life

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-06 23:26:37 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I was bullied from 2nd to 7th grade. (from roughly from 6 to 13 years old)
Worst part was, I was raised not to fight, and to tell an adult. That worked wonders as I was getting my ass kicked >_>
Then again my mom learned, and taught my brother to defend himself, but now he fights authority...gah, always something isn't it?

Oh well, I have friends now! Because in 9th grade, I went to a new school, and was part of a group, and I am also in one now that I'm at a University! 8D

And of course my online friends that I've had since 14! With so many awesome people, whats not to be thankful for?

Oh god, if I could step into the internet...I don't know oAo there is so much to do!

And amen to that!

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-06 23:43:10 +0000 UTC]

I was bullied throughout my entire school life, thankfully now I've moved to college it's stopped.
I was raised exactly the same, I still have scars as a wonderful reminder to the beatings I got ¬.¬
Life never turns out the way it should, huh?

That's good, I'm glad Good things will always come to good people!

I know if I stepped in the internet, I would never come out!
"Sapph, time for college!"
"But Mom, I'm building Pikachu in Minecraft! D:"

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-07 00:23:49 +0000 UTC]

>_> Yeah, I hear ya. I fortunately don't have any mark from it, though Mother Nature decided to be funny and give me new scars to make up for it (from surgery)

Yeah, and good things are great!

XD Awww, if you do that, screencap please!
But wait, I'd be careful in there, there are those Creepers o.O

If I was in the internet...I suppose I'd just surf around. Much like I do now X'D

I'd use the internet more for teleportation then anything else. Though maybe I'd find a nice program, and make me a digital house! With a nice pet of some sort, and a maid c:

aaah, the sweet life I could program myself c|

btw, your at a college too! Whats your major? Mine is Computer Science 8D

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-07 00:31:27 +0000 UTC]

Ah well, we can be scar buddies!

Good things are awesome!

I'll try, I'm not very good at building things in Minecraft :'D Danny Sprite, for example...

Yeah, the internet would be awesome for teleporting C:
What about the Sims 2? You could have pets and maids then, and build an epic house simply by entering "motherlode" to get enough money

Yep, I'm at college I'm currently doing Extended Diploma in Art and Design, which basically covers all aspects of art except the stuff I want (Animation)

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-07 01:21:55 +0000 UTC]

Yay 8D
Yeah, I got this nice 4 inch one from my belly button down. Makes me look like I have another ass. XD

And good friends are awesome-er!

well hey, you gave it a shot! I have minecraft now, just haven't gotten around to playing with it yet.

Teleporting...ahh what a dream ^_^

._. I must play Sims now.

Cool! So you shooting for a BA? Or maybe a Masters? o:

OR DOCTORATE?

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-09 18:53:24 +0000 UTC]

...Why did I laugh so hard at that?

Hell yes

Oh my god, you have to play it Creepers are the worst and the best at the same time!

If I could teleport, I would go all over the world in hours

Don't play Sims 1 because that's totally outdated, and don't play Sims 3 because every sim is as ugly as heck

I think it's a Masters, I don't know since I'm not actually on that course yet
Oh my god, it's a Vlad Masters!

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-09 20:47:13 +0000 UTC]

Because everyone laughs at that XD

Creepers ish spookers OAO

Same XD

...so Sims 2?

Good luck then!
Oh noes! O:

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PandaWolfArt In reply to naan21 [2011-03-09 22:17:11 +0000 UTC]

Not everyone, only people with a good sense of humor

Creepers be awesome! D8 'cept they keep blowing up the greenhouse part of my house T^T

We must create TELEPORTATION *determined face*

Yep It's the best one And I'm not just saying that because I created every Danny Phantom character on it as well as myself and created a whole town just as Amity Park ¬3¬

Thanks
I don't want a Vlad Masters!

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naan21 In reply to PandaWolfArt [2011-03-10 20:17:27 +0000 UTC]

XD or who aren't afraid of hurting my feelings (it doesn't, but some people might think it does)

Hey, they are awesome, except they blow up everything I love! XP

YES, we shall -_-

...your nuts

Welcome!
neither do I o_o

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Chouhatsu-Itsudatsu [2011-03-06 20:54:16 +0000 UTC]

Oh gosh, the little story you wrote just about made me cry. But it's such a great picture and cautionary tale. It gives me hope and strength and all kinds of good feelings like that. ^-^ And the fact that you have come so far and climbed so high just makes me so incredibly happy.

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PandaWolfArt In reply to Chouhatsu-Itsudatsu [2011-03-06 21:05:42 +0000 UTC]

I actually did cry writing it
I'm so glad you like it, Chou Y'know, it's your kind words that have helped me continue with my art when I feel like just giving up, so I owe a lot of my artwork to you I'm still working on that picture I promised for you!

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