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paper-doesnt-judge — Nine Lives
Published: 2011-12-26 12:14:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 302; Favourites: 10; Downloads: 5
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Description
Nine livesNever looked so good
When an inquisitive soul
Never understood
That curiosity killed the cat
Poor little thing
Not to be patronizing
But it's not immortal or king
First life lost
With questions asked
Ugly truths
Better left unmasked
Second life lost
To the dog you thought you'd fight
But teeth against claws
Leave a scratch and a bite
Third life lost
Just like a video game
Last level unfinished
A winner's title to claim
Fourth life lost
With sarcasm and such
A glass half full
Is still a bit too much
Fifth life lost
Due to sloths sin
Procrastinating
While craving a shot of gin
Sixth life lost
Thanks to others
Intolerable beings
Treated like brothers
Seventh life lost
A supposed lucky number
But who can live
With all the rules to remember
Eighth life lost
Due to stupidity
Dealing with a non existent
Sense of humility
Last life lost
What a relief
It took so little
To end so much grief
A cute, little grave
A sad conclusion to arrive at
So be it a shame
I've always been fond of the cat
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Comments: 5
Am...the song is much 2 over his head. Some of the life lost had a connection- but mostly you can make any stanza a song by it self. You make lots of points and not a main 1. Losing the main point you lose the reader.
+some notes.
"When a inquisitive soul"
An not a...cause whan you have I,E,A,U at the bigining of a word the "a" befor the word become an "An"
"But it's not immortal or king"
I dont remmber why- i think its because of the Its but it needs 2 be: "A king"
"Second life lost
To the dog you thought you'd fight
But teeth against claws
Leave a scratch and a bite"
A very good 1 o:
"Is still a bit much" - to much.
"Fifth life lost
Due to sloths sin
Procrastinating
While craving a shot of gin"
This 1 was my fev.
=3
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