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parl-sky — Sinking
Published: 2004-07-08 06:50:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 510; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 96
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Description
"Danger,swift currents"
the sign says.
indeed.
if i am going to drown
i'd rather not do it in still and quiet waters
let the riptide pull me out
the violent waves push me under
calm and rest will come soon enough
let the moment of passage be memorable.
deep
the word holds dark and silence to its breast
every motion an inch away
brings an echo from a thousand pounds of pressure distant
here
the time is heavy and slow to a pulse
another lifetime in each second
memories faded to nothing by the time they reach the sand
safe
covered
unreachable
i lay wrapped in the arms of a heaving sea
and dream,
rewarded at last
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Comments: 12
i very much like this, mainly because the words do well to draw out of me what i am feeling, and i have been at a complete and utter loss to do so. it is difficult to be a speechless writer... i jabber away on the page, knowing it means only an eighth of what i want it to... nothing. this is another piece of my puzzle. *bows* thank you.
~nareia
ps. you might try a little extra punctuation in the last three paragraphs for visual stoppage so the reader must stop and absorb/create the feelings that go with the most imortant words.... *shrug* dunno. my knee-jerk reaction.
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its my pleasure
it is one of those things that i find myself craving
desperately searching through literature, poetry and art
looking for external expression of that which refuses to come of its own accord
especially important during the times
when the paths of creativity and expression
seem to be cast into shadow
and are treacherous and impossible to walk
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most definitely. . .
somedays the paths are treadmills,
otherdays perhaps they may become roads
beneath our weary feet...
*smile*
as long as we keep our eyes open,
there will be glory.
~nareia
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nicely written. i enjoy collections of words that make otherwise feared and avoided situations sound appealing.
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thanks
just curious as to what scenario you might attribute it too...
its rather ambiguous, and metaphoric for several situations
but i did have one specifically in mind when writing it
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as with nearly all writing, the scenarios and circumstances that words can be applied to is only limited by your ability to stretch imagination. the feared and avoided situations that appeal to me are of struggle, loss of control which i personally find attractive, yet it seems that most do not. taking everything in an analogy type piece, being swept, almost uncontolably into a massive place that is taboo, but of a passion, and getting completely engulfed in the such, to find the struggle and strength of it comforting.
hm? rock out in belize bro.
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i struggle with words too,
so i know how hard it is to get them right.
nicely done, and i like the drawing that goes along with it.
vague and subjective.
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let her whisper in your ear
dont wake up
she caught you sleeping.
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hmmm like sumthing outta a dream of sum sort. all the life in this world came from the sea... i like to think one day i'll return there. till then, this has comforted me.
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