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Paw07 — Twilight isn't a Parody?
Published: 2009-02-13 22:33:16 +0000 UTC; Views: 27693; Favourites: 395; Downloads: 92
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Description
Let me see … I think that the comic speaks for me with sufficient sarcasm, but for the few that wonder how I could possibly hate something they consider “the greatest book evar!” I shall indulge you with an explanation.Now, I must admit that I am an English major and currently taking Secondary Education in order to earn my teaching degree. Now, from the very back of the book I could tell that the plot was weak and cliché, but I put it down and thought nothing more of the novel a few months back; there are many a shelves covered in bad books.
Yet, before I could even turn my head to see what was sneaking up on me, I was suddenly attacked by this ‘thing’ – for lack of a better word – called Twilight.
Now, don’t point at me and say, ‘But you didn’t read it’. Yes, yes, I did. I was actually so disgusted by the thesaurus rape, multitude of easily corrected grammar errors, Mary-Sue gag fest, and poor character development that I couldn’t get through little more than half the book. Yet, I do promise you I have researched the story line thoroughly and the – if barely there be one – plot.
Anyway, to the point, I do not like Twilight because I fear for my future students. You may say, “But at least they are reading something.” Well, yes, they are but that is all. There has been more than one occasion where I have tried to convince younger readers to read something else; they simple reply, “Nah, I’ll just reread Twilight.” You see my worry, no? These young readers think that this type of writing is acceptable. They will think that Mary-Sues are good; that thesaurus rape is okay; that lack of plot is the norm; and that bad writing is good literature. Good literature is a story that reveals something to a reader, not rants on for 280-some pages about her love for Edward. MEYER REVEALED NOTHING, except her inaccurate daydreams of relationships and classic lore.
Furthermore, I wanted to make this comic into a stamp, but I don’t know how to make flash stamps so this will have to do for now. Enjoy and for those of you interested, here are few of my anti-twilight heroes:
Excellent parody and thesaurus rape record: [link]
A site with all the top news anti-twilight: [link]
A hilarious bum reviews new moon: [link]
My anti-twilight collection on DA: [link]
Another hero in my books ... Twilight Ninja! [link]
For your viewing pleasure and movie mocking: [link] and [link]
Related content
Comments: 432
You could put the images in a stamp and save them seperately then anime mate them with [link]
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It's funny. In English today, we had book presentations. One person did Twilight. It was funny....
At the end, I asked her if it was love or lust, and she looked at me and went, "Uh... both!" XDDD Twas funny. Hmm... maybe I'll do a comic on it.
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Have you read the actual Twilight parody? Its hilarious XD
Here's a link to the cover picture: [link]
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No, I haven't, but a few people have mentioned it to me.
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You should read it. It gives many lulz.
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Can that glorious sounding book be found in book stores
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Yes. Yes it can.
I own a copy
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Lol. I was at school today and I noticed someone holding a Twilight book.
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THANK YOU.
I think it was the thesaurus rape that annoyed me most. Why use a plain, tired word like "pale" to describe a vampire's skin tone when you can use an over-the-top word like translucent? And the completely unrealistic characters. And the fact that there are no surprises (Oh no! Edward left! Will he ever come back? OF COURSE HE WILL.). And the fact that the werewolves, the only halfway decent characters, hardly got any good page time. And the fact that Meyers had to perform a character assassination on Jacob and turn him into a creeper when she realized just how much better a boyfriend than Edward he would be.
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Yah, poor Jacob. She assaults the only real character in the book, but I must admit she didn't really do much research when it came to his peoples historical background. Wait, what am I saying; of course she didn't, look what she turned vampires into.
Also, your quote on the bottom is hilarious.
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I know! She wrecks the decent characters (because she hates real people and that's why she writes about people so fucked up they could never exist) and she doesn't know jack shit about native culture >___> And as a scholar of history, culture and ethnicity, that fills me with Brooklyn Rage.
Thank you, it's from the Twilight Hater's Bible by ~DrPaine 
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You've made me realise that it'd be so goddamn hilarious if Stephanie Mayonaise woke up one day and proclaimed this "series" a joke XDDDDD
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We can all pray for that but we all know - even Meyer does - that she'd lose a lot of supporters and cash if she did. The Twilight community takes her far to seriously to admire the irony if parody was the truth.
Oh, but we can dream.
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Oh and don't forget the Cullenists. They'd organize an assault on Meyer's 'fortress' if she said it was all a joke XDDDDD
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Twilight is evil. I could never be a part of a franchise where the fans say things like "I hope you miscarry" or "I'm going to kill you."
Their behavior is a sign that the book needs to be banned and burned, and the fans to be rehabilitated.
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At my school, I have been called a nazi for disliking twilight.
Hate this series.
But anyway awesome comic.
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I try not to lower myself to their level with name calling cause then it goes back and forth pointlessly, But sometimes they make you wanna go kick babies on how annoying they can be.
But thank you!
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i pity your students. they have been sucked into the horrid fandom that is twilight. WHAT IS THE PLOTLINE ANYWAY!? Nothing actually happens in a sequence that should dare be called a plot!
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Exactly, nothing is reveal, nothing is taught. Its an empty text that offers little to its readers but an unhealthy obsession about the definition of love.
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i think people who don't know what good literature is get fooled by the pretty little words that they can barely understand.
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Perhaps but it also there own fault. That's why dictionaries were invented after all.
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I love you. I read it to and assumed it was satire. In fact, I assumed so because all the 'plot' is revieled on the back. I found out I was wrong. What an AWFUL book. And thanks for the links.
You know Meyer herself was an English major? They should revok her degree.
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She was probably a creative writing major. Doubt she even read a page of real literature ... except some Shakespeare which she then raped. Poor guy's probably rolling over in his grave.
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>: I'm a Creative Writing major. We take the same classes as English Literature majors, plus the writing centered ones where published professor teach, and just those who write for a living run shops. There was no way she could have been and gotten by with that shoddy writing.
Gaaaw, Shakespeare. That poor chap, like he didn't have it bad enough with all those unprepared high school kids reading him.
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Sorry, didn't mean to sound insulting. I just know it varies from school to school.
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Naw, it's alright. But now you know.
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You should read the ACTUAL parody of Twilight XD it's called Nightlight
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You should send me the link so I may laugh myself to sleep with it.
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It's actually a book XD
[link]
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That is just ... I want one. XD
Oh laughter that wound ensue.
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*Throws my copy at you*
Edwart Cullen and Belle Goose XD I luv there names
The only Cullens in the book though are Edward's, Carsile's, and Esme's Parody forms. The rest aren't there though Alice's name is brought up like once. XD
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I am tempted to write Meyers name in a Death Note, if only I had a Death Note.
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Eh, that won't work, death only makes artists -if Meyer can be called that- more famous. You could try it on Bella though... or Meyers publisher.
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Yeah but with Meyers gone Twitards would start committing suicide and slowly the world will get it's smart people back. Death Note won't work on a character, or as I call her "What Meyers thinks she is herself, Mary Sue ><"
Kira hates Twilight
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I read the entire twilight series (well, more like my friend who is obsessed with it, told me every single freakin' detail. Mainly commenting how hot Edward is). Then I picked up The Host.
A very exciting concept of a new species of aliens and their take over of earth where a girl who is used as a host fits with the other one inside her to help her little brother.
I went twenty pages or so and slammed the book closed and screamed bloody murder!
You can't have an S. Meyer book without crappy romance!!!
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That's Meyer for you. Probably never had a taste of real romance in her life so she has to write crappy romances that fill the gaping whole. Though, I must admit, she did hit a gold mine in directing the romance towards pre-teens.
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