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peterdawes — Be Careful What You Ask
Published: 2008-02-22 18:38:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 590; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 4
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Description
you do not knowwhat you ask of me
little girl
the things you whisper
into the ears of satan
thinking it is an angel holding you
when it is truly the devil
come for
your soul
you think the lips
that plant warm kisses
upon your neck
exist only to excite you
entice you deeper
into the realm of pleasure and lust
when they slide across your flesh
dripping poison
onto the skin
and it excites the demon
to know this
to taste your ignorance
drinking from it as blood
feeling you surrender to
my whims, so softly
no inhibition
you crave for this dance
thinking it
just a dalliance
you do not fathom sadism
such as mine
you think the warm embrace
will keep you safe
huddled so tenderly within
the arms of comfort
oh ignorant little one
one never does suspect the teeth
until they're buried deeply
inside of
your neck
is it my fault
for being the murderer
or your fault
for trusting me
six of one, half dozen of the other
predator and prey both dance
this wicked dance with one another
just be careful
little girl
what you ask for
you think you seek pleasure
when you surrender
your very life
in return
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Comments: 22
Great work.I wish i had something brilliant to say but you seemed to have stolen the show.
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*chuckles* your compliment is well-received and appreciated.
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Not that I speak from experience.
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Very intriguing. I love the contrast, looking into the victim's mind and the predator's intentions... it was described excellently.
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Thank you kindly for the warm compliment.
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Beautifully done, and deliciously dark.
that last little stanza reminds me of Dr. Faustus:
"He who loves pleasure, must for pleasure fall."
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Truer words have not been penned. Thank you kindly for the compliment.
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The Poem and you comment of it I wish to live in so deeply. The meaning behind it is so true and bold. It's magnificent.
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I was mesmerized by this, like a victim facing down the cobra. At first I thought I hated the line about "six of one", but as I read the rest of it, it quickly became my favorite. Perhaps it was the unexpected rhyme:
six of one, half dozen of the other
predator and prey both dance
this wicked dance with one another
I also thought of the florist. Was she the inspiration?
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The unexpected rhyme is the only reason I kept it. Otherwise, I might have succumbed to the temptation to change it.
The florist? Her amongst others. So many faces that could fill such a role.
Is that perfume you're wearing?
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Uh, excuse me, but I think I hear my phone ringing.
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If I had a dollar for every time a woman's told me that... *sigh*
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And if every woman who has said it lived to tell the tale...
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Hmm... I'll have to get back to you on that. I have quite a rolodex to rifle through for statistics.
Perhaps a few?
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I love it so very much and so do the imaginary people in my head. Especially Dante.
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It delights me to hear there's unanimous approval within your mind. When one rebels, it's inevitable the rest follow suit.
Thank you for the 
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