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peterdawes — Behold the Devil...
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-12-13 02:18:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 1320; Favourites: 36; Downloads: 6
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Description
as red seeps down, in rivulets,it forms a pool of decadence.
the fallen, in the night, attacks.
behold the devil dressed in black.
his winter coat comprised of fear,
he smites them all, each you hold dear;
each one a voice upon the stack.
behold the devil dressed in black.
their lives are forfeit, only death
will rid of us of this soul bereft
of love, compassion; all he lacks.
behold the devil dressed in black.
until the demons claim his soul;
until the fires consume him whole,
beware and show this man no slack.
behold the devil dressed in black.
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Comments: 29
Sounds awesome...I love the imagery in this, very dark...kind spooky.
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Changing up the themes is good, keeps you thinking...
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You did a marvelous job with this one. I think your insecurities with rhyming are founded on nothing.
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*chuckles* thank you, dear. i am always afraid i sound too much like a hallmark card.
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Hmm... A hallmark card does not have anywhere near the emotions you portray in your poetry. Compared to you they seem rather bland.
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i am glad you liked it!
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Awesome rhyming there, Peter ^_^ This is a definite contrast from the two pieces I have just read from you (a visual poem and another rhyming poem), full of love and sensuality... then, out of no where, here comes the devil. I love the balance of your two sides in this poetry challenge, it makes for an interesting mix in my Deviant Watch.
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my darker side and i are nothing if not interesting, that much is for certain.
i am glad you are enjoying them.
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i like this peice!
everything looks good (still have yet to read the blurb on the form tho) except for this line:
Stanza 2, line 2
"he smites them all, each you hold dear;"
I think you have a few too many syllables.
Lovely job onhte rhyming. wish i could get my rhymes to work so well as you've managed here!
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i shall check the syllables. thank you for the head's up, dear.
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"Behold the devil dressed in black"... I find that a very enticing phrase, for whatever reason
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Insecurities with rhyming? You're doing a wonderful job of it!
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Excellent!!! I can definately relate (but you know that already 
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