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peterdawes — From a Man to His Lover
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-03-04 21:54:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 437; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 3
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Description
him:empty room with chairs
lights cast shadows on the wall
bed only for one
her:
large city, many people
a figure stands alone
cast of strangers
him:
cigarette smoke drifts
idly up, toward the ceiling
pen in hand instead
her:
two empty arms
photographs within a book
technicolor dreams
him:
mental pictures and
a ring; sole possessions.
painted smile borrowed
her:
pennies in a well,
engraved with more than
presidential faces
him:
plane ticket, long trip
transport to another place
bed open for two
her:
chains shackle wings
preventing birds
from taking flight
him:
clocks tick away time
mortals age, the man remains
patience is a virtue
her:
calendars in trash
days turn into years
the birds are caged
him:
dust forms on the clock
mortals die, the man remains
he waits for her always
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Comments: 38
light sleeper by hawthorne hieghts just adds to the mood created here
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Hmm. . . have yet to hear that one. Must remedy that.
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Finally read it, been meaning to for a while. It's great ^_^ almost dream-like, in a way
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Yes, the vagueness and imagery of haiku make it a bit otherworldly. It was an interesting exercise.
I think I'm still partial to the open format for this, however.
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Well, there are few who like discipline ^_- I have to say, me doing rhyming poems or poems not in open format.. I get really frustrated. It's why I was never any good a Haikus.
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Rhyming poems are a trifle difficult for me as well. Too easy for them to become forced or trite.
I never fancied I would be any good at haiku given my penchant for open format. Maybe there's hope for me yet.
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Of course! You've just gotta have the determination. I, unfortunately, am minus determination when it comes to most forms of poetry hehe I'm too big a fan of prose.
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I much prefer prose. Poetry is an indulgence. Like fine wine.
Though, my current habits would make me something of an alcoholic.
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It would certainly seem so 
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Fascinating. I feel a bit like a ping pong ball all dizzy with images and ambivalence.
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*chuckles* It was quite the interesting exercise. I am not skilled enough of a haijin to pull it off completely, but practice makes perfect.
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*sings* jet city woman! a thousand miles, and be there!
heh sorry about that...
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*laughs* Yes, a thousand miles, indeed. Now I have that song inside my head.
Thank you for the 
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I think it's all been said now, but yeah, I love it.
Feels very painful
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Cuts like a knife. But poetry is a wonderful catharsis.
I am glad you enjoyed.
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Love it, a fantasic sequence of images and emotions flashing past, each one short lived but perfectly formed.
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Thank you kindly. 
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The last one rocks. The image is good. The overall feel is quite heartfelt, it tells a story with emotions. Short sentances. Brain shorted out from coffee overload. Bye for now.
XD
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Too much of a good thing, hmm?
Thank you for the idea and the favorite. It was an enjoyable exercise.
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I taunt you. My apologies for that. The heart speaks what it knows, though, and ache would be an appropriate term.
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Damn, man. Tell your author I need TVF3 soon. If this is how you feel without your muse, imagine how I feel knowing "she" is lost to you in that novel too. Lord, don't tell me it's "still"???!
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It would hardly be sporting of me to tell you.
Many things have happened. Hopefully you enjoy the tale as it's regaled to you. I promise to cooperate with the writer so that the tauntings can cease, but the next story won't answer all of the questions.
Some, though.
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Well, duh. Of course it doesn't. She wouldn't be who she is if it did. I will try to be patient and read lesser works while I wait.
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No doubt she appreciates your patience. It isn't easy to get much accomplished with a being such as I on her back.
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As long as you stay on her back and not on her neck.
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Never the neck. She's not my type. *grins*
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You have a type? Didn't know you were that discriminating. What? No O negative?
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I jest. Beggers can't be choosers. But I do believe this qualifies as biting the hand that feeds you.
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Not a good idea in the case of a fictional character.
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Although I have room to be smug, since she's not want to dispose of me, I suppose I should try my best not to provoke her to that end.
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Even creators have their limits.
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There is a bit of a masochistic curiosity within me, though, to see exactly where that line lies.
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Very strange in a very good way. Shortly put: love it.
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Thank you kindly, my dear.
Thank you for adding it to your collection.
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