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peterdawes — The Syncopation of Loneliness
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-03-18 18:37:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 355; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 2
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i told her, "i'm no good for you."spitting out formal platitudes
which all rung true within the moment
but laid upon the floor
with both of us begging
neither would
pick
them
back
up
perhaps, a broom would suffice
sweeping them away
tucking them somewhere else
out of sight
out of mind
surely, we could work this out
melancholy daydreams
revisiting those words
speaking them time and time again
reciting diction
exploring intonation
perhaps with the proper inflection
it would all make sense to me
reconciling nouns, pronouns
verbs
adjectives
dangling
participles
dangling
words
dangling
sentiments
things inserted between the lines
(i love you, i need you)
adverbs that should have been included
(truly, madly, deeply)
other ways of turning a phrase
turning it back around
turning her back
to me
surely, we could work this out
the light in her eyes
which glimmered and faded
"i'm no good for you," i repeated
intending to convey the message
adequately
intending to convey inadequacy
inadequately
visions of the man I was
inserted within the
monochrome movie of a man
standing there
who couldn't give her the life she deserved
someone else could
a leading man within a film
(a celebrity)
able to keep the smile painted
a little bit longer
able to recite the words
as they needed to be said
able to heal the wounds he had created
i love you, i need you
truly, madly, deeply
words stopped up
in my throat
darling, we cannot work this out
expressions that ranged
from angry
to sad
to frustrated
and melancholy
disappointed
vows from before
some other time and place
forever
till death
what if there is no death
what if there is only death
does this make the words any less true
an escape clause in the contract
a way to help her
move on
even though
i love you, i need you
truly, madly, deeply
still, i repeated it just the same
darling, we cannot work this out
like smoke
d i s s i p a t e d
by wind
broken into atoms
molecules
thrown somewhere into the breeze
west
north
south
east
everywhere but here
and she listened
catching a ride with the particles
following them wherever they led
words unspoken
flashing between us
i love you, i need you
truly, madly, deeply
as she disappeared
should we have tried to work this out?
emptiness
filling the void
leaving a vacuum
filled with nothing
plaintive chords of music penned by mortals
who never had to look in
your eyes
and never had to speak
the words
who knows if the saints and angels
truly listen to prayers
if god is in his heaven
and all is right with the world
then how could he have allowed such nonsense
to drift from lips that should have said
i love you, i need you
truly, madly, deeply
striking dumb the ignorant
we should have tried to work this out
regardless of why
escape routes
secret passages
they lurk around here somewhere
maps or none
digging trenches
plotting courses
always a way out
always another alternative
always another moment
even if there aren't any left
even if the options are expired
the alternatives nonexistent
gone
like your presence
if two people still lament and say
i love you, i need you
truly, madly, deeply
there is a way to work this out
isn't there?
there has to be
otherwise there's nothing left to work out
after all
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Comments: 45
i really like the imagery within the words. It is sad. Maybe I like the erotic more than the sad, I am still trying to decide. I think I would rather feel tortured than pained. You may be too good at making emotions with your words, I feel them too strongly.
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*chuckles* I shall certainly take that as a compliment and thank you for it.
I'm certain the erotic trumps the sad. Hard to say from one day to the next which one will consume me while I write. Sometimes one feels a bit more of one than the other.
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Indeed. Usually for me the erotic trumps the sad, but the last few days the sad has been triumphant.
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I'm sorry to hear that.
I know how that goes far too well.
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Thanks, I think since I wrote that my mood already swung the polar opposite.
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another beautifully painted picture! i'll have no choice but to read through your whole gallery now....it's compelling...
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You flatter me. 
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dawwh. you're welcome...kindly? and i will most definitely enjoy.
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i love the format, it works so well with the words
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Thank you kindly.
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actually, the message was not lost, dear peter. this sounds oddly like what my coworker is dealing with. words like a bridge of matchsticks.
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A bridge of matchsticks waiting for a conflagration.
So many words that can heal and so many that hurt. I, too often, find myself speaking the latter.
Thank you, dear Rabbit. My sympathies to your co-worker. This is never a pleasant path to traverse.
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aye, i know that well. thanks i will pass along your sympathies.
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Thank you, my dear.
The favorite is appreciated tremendously.
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I hate to say this, but it's kind of hard to follow at first. But when it does pick up, it gets rather heavy. When it first started jumping to the middle and back, it threw me off more. But when you actualy start grasping the message, yeah. It is a decent poem.
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Thank you, kindly. Yes, it's a bit. . . erratic with the word spacing.
A grand attempt at being profound. 
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Amazing. You have to stop this, for us and for yourself. The pain is almost tangible, especially in these two lines: "what if there is no death
what if there is only death"
I could hear the jazz playing and see her walking away through the haze of smoke.
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Ah, somebody caught those two lines. Good eye, Denise.
Thank you for the favorite.
Am sorry for the pain.
It overflows the banks at times.
Have a life preserver handy?
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You can keep that. Here's something to go with it:
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Amazing as usual - if you're not careful, we'll come to expect this kind of perfection
This helped me to sort out two poems I was trying to write earlier - I was trying to focus on typography so the form here really made me think about the uses of indentations and spacing ^_^
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This kind of perfection?
More like imperfection.
However, I appreciate the sentiment.
Glad I was able to assist you. Just screwing around mostly on my part.
Trying to give the words more feeling.
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Well, flaws always bring out the true beauty in things. Perfection, I suppose, can be ugly... so, yes, you're right
Yeah, same here.. just trying to make certain words or phrases really stand out.
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It's an interesting thing to play with.
Perhaps shall attempt it again with another piece.
Have I read yours? I don't think so. Must look.
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I love playing with typography in poems.. I want to try making a poem in the shape of something, that would be interesting. Mixing poetry with prose is also fun
No, I dare say you haven't. It's the last piece I posted other than my digital painting.
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I was quite tempted to take one of the minimalistic poems and attempt the curvature of a woman's body. That would be quite a daunting task, though.
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It would.. I once read one in the shape of an uncoiling snake, it was amazing.
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Now I feel compelled to try it.
*sigh*
The writer is going to become quite vexed with me if I don't edit another chapter instead.
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Well, be a good boy and she might treat you
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Good boy. Again with these unfamiliar terms.
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You're far too much like thecarrot.. hehe
Good adj. 1. well-behaved 2. virtuous
boy n. 1. Young man
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Ah! A good boy.
You do realize you just told me to be well-behaved and virtuous. Surely you see the irony in that.
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Of course - but there's no harm in trying
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Fun in virtue? Hmm. Perhaps you're right. Worth an experiment either way?
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Of course. If you don't like it, you can always go back to being a bad boy
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My older and much wiser brother would beat me senseless if I went back to being a bad boy. If just for the fact that, as my master, it reflects poorly upon him.
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Oh dear - people and their reputations.
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I love it...Amazing words, and I feel so much emotion behind it. I have read it 3 times already..Another 
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You are too gracious to me, Sabrina.
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