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peterdawes — When You Sleep
by-nc-nd
Published: 2008-03-11 21:06:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 318; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 4
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Description
Gentle breathsKeeping time with a rhythm that exists
Somewhere else
Perhaps in the realm where peace is found
Where quiet reigns
Where the citizens are devoid of worry
Of fear or anxiety
I watch your chest rise and fall with
Your lips parted ever so slightly
As though within this world
You sit upon a chair
Staring up at me
And ask me for a kiss
Without speaking a word.
How tempted I am to give it to you
To risk upsetting your slumber
Just to satisfy the taunting of
Those lips
To watch those lids flutter
With more than dreams.
To touch your pale skin.
To join you in your dreams
So that I can experience
Your peace as well.
One arm draped across your body
The other lying on the pillow
Beside your head; you are a sight to behold.
I am but a voyeur
Gazing upon your long, brown hair
Spread out as an angelic aura.
Wishing I could sketch endless pictures
Of you when you sleep
To keep within my pocket
The next time I need to steal your peace
And claim it for my own.
To survey your beauty
And experience the sense of pride
That comes with knowing you are mine
To drown myself within longing
And wait until I am by your side again
To wrap my arms around you
And fall asleep as well.
The luckiest man upon this mortal coil
Because I hold you.
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Comments: 32
Well...I would have to say that it isn't always about the heart. It can be about lust, or hate and these don't come from the heart. But this poem is honestly beautiful! It has such a tender feeling.
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Yes, you are quite right. And I have evoked love, lust, and hate enough to have to agree with you.
I am relieved beyond measure that tenderness prevailed here, though. At times it is such a hard sentiment to convey properly.
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You are most assuredly correct in this aspect. I would have to say that it is quite a predicament when emoting such things as tenderness, and deft-feelings. The lesser the amount you have to work with, the harder it is to maintain literary efficacy.
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And sometimes such matters are a bit deeper than the carnal externalities. A harder well to tap.
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true, I suppose it is. The times I write best are when I long for something that is presently out of reach.
You know... I don't think you've ever commented on any of my poems. And your opinion would matter a lot to me since you yourself are a brilliant writer. But then again, I suppose many of my poems feel childish, especially since most were written in high school. Some are new though, and in some I think I conveyed my feelings well.
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I have been very remiss in returning your kindness. I shall remedy that within short order, rest assured.
Have been struggling with proper time management the past few days. It's put me a bit behind of the game.
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I know what you mean. During the past week I was so busy with working on fixing up the house I barely got any time on here and thus, feel behind badly. And since I also admin clubs, catching up with them comes first for me.
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Hard for me to prioritize what comes first here.
The haphazard brain grabs the first task which drifts past and latches on.
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I can imagine. Some things are more enjoyable to do than others though, eh? 
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Likewise.
I am currently having a hard time focusing upon the edits I must work through with temptations of poetry and storytelling tickling my ears. And I am not overly fond of editing.
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I don't think anyone is really fond of editing... it's a necessary bane on writing
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It is so rare to see peices as thought out as this one is, just simple in it's beauty and it's message. I hope that I am able to capture immages like this one some day.
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Thank you kindly for the compliment.
She brings out some of my better imagery. Perhaps because her face is so easy to evoke.
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Sounds like one hell of a woman you have there. My advice is don't ever let her go.
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I intend to do all in my power not to.
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Honestley, be glad you have somebody like that, I am still looking, and the only one I am close enough to get close to, is far away for one, and has a weird rule about not talking over the phone first...(friend of a friend.) And it's just a long story.
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I'm forced to admire my beloved from afar, sadly. A very long, complicated story.
Both of us very much in love with the other, however. Or, so I believe to be the case. When we were forced to part ways, she was upset at me and for good reason; however, the optimist within me knows how deep her well of emotion runs.
You could say, it is the hope I hold onto. And will continue so long as there's hope to be had.
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Sounds a little bit like my life, had to move away from those you care for, and wish to find a nich in which you could establish something deep...it apears that you and my self are indeed kindred sprits. I just hope that one day, our wishes be granted.
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This line in particular was most touching: "To watch those lids flutter with more than dreams."
It occurs to me that perhaps this is how Tolkien created the epic poems and song lyrics that add so much depth to FOTR. When a story overflows its banks, an entire world is born.
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Quite so. 
Thank you, my dear. I can see those lids fluttering in my mind right now. *wistful sigh*
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Her readers are very gracious.
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It really is. I was just about to write a little poetry myself when I spotted I had an unread deviation. This is beautiful ^_^
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Thank you kindly, dear.
Hopefully I did not distract you from your poetry.
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No.. nothing came to mind that flowed so I decided I'd sleep instead. Maybe I'll write something tonight after I've done my work.
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I must read your story. As soon as I finish here. My apologies for the delay.
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I don't mind ^_^ It's nice having comments to anticipate.
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Thank you for adding the poem to your collection, dear Mithgariel.
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