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Poetrymann — Undone
Published: 2012-05-26 20:01:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 5286; Favourites: 280; Downloads: 39
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Description I cannot remember
what she wore that night,
or the smell of the moon
at her wrist,
or the blur of her cheek
grazing the pillow.
I cannot recall details
of her voice -
what was said
or promised
once the heat of July
nested in the curve
of my tongue
and pressed back
her hesitation.

But I remember the shock -
the last tremor
of bricks and skin
carving an arc
into our breathing,
shaking the walls of her room
and the sound of the world
coming undone.
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Comments: 134

Poetrymann In reply to ??? [2013-01-05 03:25:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks very much - I appreciate it!

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peridot-magelette [2012-11-12 09:04:44 +0000 UTC]

oh dear god.

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Poetrymann In reply to peridot-magelette [2012-12-06 03:17:14 +0000 UTC]

*Grins* Thanks!

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peridot-magelette In reply to Poetrymann [2012-12-16 08:00:34 +0000 UTC]

*smiles* indeed! turns out reading your poetry is excellent inspiration for me to write something for my sweetheart to find... something about how much i'm looking forward to studying Human Geography (the exploration of Migration, learning Settlement by laying claim to all my favourite spots- again- oh, this might be the most fun i've ever had revising such topics!)

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samar-viollet [2012-07-17 17:59:38 +0000 UTC]

absolutely beautiful. i loved the sense of confidence in this poem. great word choice.

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InevitableGoodDark [2012-07-06 17:02:52 +0000 UTC]

Subtle, yet felt the intensity. Wow, your amazingly talented.

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Poetrymann In reply to InevitableGoodDark [2012-07-12 22:26:31 +0000 UTC]

That is very nice of you - thanks.

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Sigma-Echo-Seven [2012-06-24 23:02:58 +0000 UTC]

Sensuality in poetry at its finest. Well done!

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ladijayne [2012-06-21 03:45:20 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful words, and well written. Touches the soul.

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Poetrymann In reply to ladijayne [2012-06-23 01:28:07 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I appreciate it!

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AElfrics-Cat [2012-06-20 17:55:49 +0000 UTC]

Absolutely beautiful. A wonderful ending, and some really (and oddly, at times) sensual evocation, here. Especially loved "the smell of the moon
at her wrist" - gorgeous! x

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Marian-ette [2012-06-19 23:25:57 +0000 UTC]

Your imagery is brilliant and beautiful

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Poetrymann In reply to Marian-ette [2012-06-21 22:56:14 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks - I appreciate it very much.

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Alice-of-Spaids [2012-06-19 04:56:25 +0000 UTC]

This is beauty at it's finest. Literally. <3 Please publish your work one day.

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Poetrymann In reply to Alice-of-Spaids [2012-06-19 14:52:04 +0000 UTC]

Thanks very much - I truly appreciate the support!

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Alice-of-Spaids In reply to Poetrymann [2012-06-20 03:13:57 +0000 UTC]

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE WATCH! You are so kind! :3

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VicariouSoul [2012-06-08 05:35:03 +0000 UTC]

Your works are these precious gems I find little to no flaws in. Through my appraisal I find your poetry stimulating, highly collectible, very personal, sometimes non-moral, exotic and sublimely resistant to literary criticism. It is a privilege at best to read what you write and from others who are equally extraordinaire.

Some Art in this world is beyond the worth of Man. You may quote me on that.

Thank You.

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Poetrymann In reply to VicariouSoul [2012-06-19 14:40:39 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks. I am fascinated by moral ambiguity. I guess that is a theme that I keep repeating in my work.

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VicariouSoul In reply to Poetrymann [2012-06-19 22:03:18 +0000 UTC]

Likewise.

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SurrealCachinnation [2012-06-06 21:00:31 +0000 UTC]

All of these Victoria poems make me so curious about her.

This is absolutely beautiful. She's lucky to have you, and I'm glad you have someone who can inspire such beautiful poetry!

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Poetrymann In reply to SurrealCachinnation [2012-06-06 22:22:36 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks - I appreciate that very much!

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carolrosa [2012-06-06 16:18:04 +0000 UTC]

Leaves me breathless...

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Poetrymann In reply to carolrosa [2012-06-15 01:29:33 +0000 UTC]

Thanks very much - I appreciate it.

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Winding-Silence [2012-06-04 00:10:02 +0000 UTC]

You do it again

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Poetrymann In reply to Winding-Silence [2012-06-06 22:16:29 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I am very glad you like it and appreciate the comment.

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Winding-Silence In reply to Poetrymann [2012-06-06 22:51:44 +0000 UTC]

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MorriganArt [2012-06-02 06:09:56 +0000 UTC]

I love it!

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Poetrymann In reply to MorriganArt [2012-06-05 20:38:13 +0000 UTC]

That is very nice of you - thanks!

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MorriganArt In reply to Poetrymann [2012-06-05 21:05:42 +0000 UTC]

most welcome

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xforevrgonex [2012-06-01 05:11:27 +0000 UTC]

Some seriously good stuff!!
Thumbs up to Victoria on having you!

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archelyxs [2012-05-31 16:11:48 +0000 UTC]

Gorgeous, as always.

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Poetrymann In reply to archelyxs [2012-06-05 20:38:08 +0000 UTC]

That is very nice of you - thanks!

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demonrobber [2012-05-31 14:56:49 +0000 UTC]

The power of nature can remind us that nothing is permanent in this world neither love nor life, so make the most of the time you have on this planet. An excellent piece.

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Poetrymann In reply to demonrobber [2012-06-02 23:21:51 +0000 UTC]

Many thanks - I appreciate it very much!

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DameOdessaStock [2012-05-31 14:24:05 +0000 UTC]

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Poetrymann In reply to DameOdessaStock [2012-06-01 22:57:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - I am very glad you like it and I appreciate your comments!

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callerofcrows [2012-05-30 16:02:43 +0000 UTC]

Love this so much. You capture a lot of passion in so few words, beautiful job!

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Poetrymann In reply to callerofcrows [2012-06-05 20:38:02 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! I miss having a word overflow, but maybe it is for the best.

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GirlUndefined [2012-05-29 19:31:44 +0000 UTC]

I absolutely love this one

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Poetrymann In reply to GirlUndefined [2012-06-01 22:56:34 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - I am very glad you like it and I appreciate your comments!

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Tetnician [2012-05-29 17:34:45 +0000 UTC]

Nothing to nit with this one. Well rendered, and nice subtle images. Great work, and thanks for sharing.

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Poetrymann In reply to Tetnician [2012-06-01 22:56:27 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - I am very glad you like it and I appreciate your comments!

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bringyourownbomb [2012-05-29 16:16:11 +0000 UTC]

now this is passion. just so beautiful <3

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Poetrymann In reply to bringyourownbomb [2012-06-01 22:56:22 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - I am very glad you like it and I appreciate your comments!

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bringyourownbomb In reply to Poetrymann [2012-06-02 16:15:22 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome c:

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vespera [2012-05-29 15:15:15 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful.

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Poetrymann In reply to vespera [2012-06-01 22:58:52 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - I am very glad you like it and I appreciate your comments!

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kaleecee [2012-05-28 23:23:42 +0000 UTC]

Wow...nice, actually... very erotic! Beautiful piece!

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FuzzyHoser [2012-05-28 19:39:38 +0000 UTC]

You write these romantic pieces like no one else, mister.
Very nicely done!

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Poetrymann In reply to FuzzyHoser [2012-06-01 22:58:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks - that is very high praise.

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