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Description
Available here on t-shirts, hoodies, stickers, mugs, phone cases, and lots more:
- www.redbubble.com/i/canvas-pri…
- www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Unc…

Text:
GOLDFISH BOWL (goldfish removal optional):
May be used to make floors slippery so zombies
injure themselves in falls, or to obstruct
their biting capability if placed over head.

TELEVISION SET (the older the better):
Effective head crushing weapon, older TV sets are
heavier/sturdier so are more effective, only
recommended for capable heavy lifters.

MINCED MEAT (preferably beef):
Temporary distraction due to its similarity to
human brains, and also can cause moderate damage
if thrown while frozen accurately enough.

GARDEN HOSE:
Good immobilizer if used correctly, leave attached
to tap, then attach to zombies ankle or around
neck, or you can just whip them with it.

LAPTOP COMPUTER (with internet access):
Depending on the zombies brain deterioration, may
be used to distract zombies with some hardcore
zombie pornography, also useful to bludgeon head.

MICROWAVE OVEN:
Only useful against stubborn zombie body parts that
refuse to die, put offending zombie head/hand etc
in oven on high for 10 minutes, problem solved.

VICE GRIPS/PLIERS:
Effective but risky approach at defense against
bites, you must immobilize a zombie and extract
all front teeth, instant harmless gummy zombie.

LAWNMOWER (push mower + belt/rope):
The ultimate zombie killer, just remove push bar,
strap to your chest, pull the rip cord, and enjoy
sweet zombie horde dismemberment.

Description
Available here on t-shirts, hoodies, stickers, mugs, phone cases, and lots more:
- www.redbubble.com/i/canvas-pri…
- www.redbubble.com/i/poster/Unc…

Text:
GOLDFISH BOWL (goldfish removal optional):
May be used to make floors slippery so zombies
injure themselves in falls, or to obstruct
their biting capability if placed over head.

TELEVISION SET (the older the better):
Effective head crushing weapon, older TV sets are
heavier/sturdier so are more effective, only
recommended for capable heavy lifters.

MINCED MEAT (preferably beef):
Temporary distraction due to its similarity to
human brains, and also can cause moderate damage
if thrown while frozen accurately enough.

GARDEN HOSE:
Good immobilizer if used correctly, leave attached
to tap, then attach to zombies ankle or around
neck, or you can just whip them with it.

LAPTOP COMPUTER (with internet access):
Depending on the zombies brain deterioration, may
be used to distract zombies with some hardcore
zombie pornography, also useful to bludgeon head.

MICROWAVE OVEN:
Only useful against stubborn zombie body parts that
refuse to die, put offending zombie head/hand etc
in oven on high for 10 minutes, problem solved.

VICE GRIPS/PLIERS:
Effective but risky approach at defense against
bites, you must immobilize a zombie and extract
all front teeth, instant harmless gummy zombie.

LAWNMOWER (push mower + belt/rope):
The ultimate zombie killer, just remove push bar,
strap to your chest, pull the rip cord, and enjoy
sweet zombie horde dismemberment.