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Description
BUMBLEBEE.
Directed by: Travis Knight.
Written by: Christina Hodson.
Starring: Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Ortiz, Jason Drucker, and Pamela Adlon.
Based on the 1980's Toy/Cartoon franchise by: Hasbro.
Genre: PG (Mild acts of violence and language).

It's been pretty embarrassing to admit to people I'm a Transformers fan for the past 10+ years, when Michael Bay has made some mediocre movies that think cars, tits, the US military, football and product placement is more important than the titular characters.

The Last Knight was the straw that finally shattered the camel's spinal column, as audiences had enough of this bullshit and wanted a change. I think it says something when not even China could save this explosive bout of nonsensical plots, inconsistent backstories, retcons, and more racism than a Youtube comment section.

Because of this, a massive course direction was in place. I imagine Steps 1-9 were "keep Michael Bay away from the directing chair!" So what do you get when you strip a Transformers movie of all the bullshit we've grown to hate, kept the focus small, shifted priorities, reduced the runtime, and hired a director who knows how to make a movie people will like?

The answer is a reboot called Bumblebee.

I say a reboot, but it's not really clear if this is starting off from scratch, or will lead into all the tangled stupidity we recently discarded. I personally feel it's a complete reboot for there is no mention of an Allspark, the backstory does not line up with the 2007 film, the Transformers designs are different, Bumblebee arrives in 1987 rather than the 1940's, and Optimus Prime is on Earth by the end of the film. when by all accounts he wouldn't arrive until 2007. Hasbro, if you have any common sense you'll say "this IS a reboot" so we don't get ridiculous shit like this.

Optimus Prime: Bumblebee, I need to leave the planet for about 20 years. Why? I don't know.

Can I just say “THANK YOU” for Travis Knight. Instead an aging fratfuck who had nothing but contempt for the audience and said "fuck it!" whenever the camera started rolling, Travis used his animation background to tell a more coherent story that had characters with heart instead of fart jokes.

It's also a bold move to give a movie to a secondary character like Bumblebee. While granted he was an important character in G1, Bee didn't have the big name appeal of say Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream, or even Soundwave. Considering after the G1 cartoon concluded Bumblebee wouldn't reappear in a major role until the 2007 movie, THEN he became as big as Prime etc.

Regardless of origins, Bumblebee made quite a name for himself in the Michael Bay movies, so in that regard I can see why they'd give him a spin off. Cus a little yellow robot is easier to spot in an endless sea of dirty gun metal grey junkpiles.

Before we get into the review proper, let's consider what exactly this movie did away with. So you can truly appreciate why people are saying "this is the only good one!"

Convoluted backstory involving interchangeable cosmic macguffins..
A movie nearly 3 hours long that overstays its welcome.
A movie with 50 million plots happening at once.
Far too many annoying human characters complete with interchangeable racist stereotypes.
Far too many disposable Transformer characters complete with zero personality or appeal.
A main character who only communicates in stutters and terrible dialogue.
A main female character who looks like a Zoo cover girl and is probably shagging the director.
An over reliance on Optimus Prime and Megatron.
Fan favourite characters who only have their name as their only character depth.
A very annoying family of the main character who are given FAR TOO MUCH screen time.
Cradle Snatching (thank God).
Terrible humour that not even Doug Walker would touch.
Shia "He Will Not Divide Us" LaBeouf.
John Turturro having a mental breakdown on set.
Award winning actors who will need therapy to help them forget they agreed to be in these films.
Wanking off Uncle Sam.
Out of place music from the likes of Linkin Park.
Shaky cam that always focuses on everything except the giant fighting robots.
And everything else we've grown to hate from a Michael Bay movie.

Wave goodbye to all of that fucking bullshit!

This entire film is the antithesis of every Transformers movie from the last ten years! In short - It's an actual movie and not a very long music video for Linkin Park! When the movie began with a huge battle scene on Cybertron, no joke, I literally sat up in my seat, my eyes widened, placed my hands together and said "You have my attention." When it concluded, I turned to Di’Aniss and said " I am in danger of giving a fuck!"

Bumblebee (the movie not the character) feels like both a love letter and a long winded apology to long time Transformers fans, by offering up a character driven story about friendship, acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go of the past, instead of a movie that says "Every problem can be solved by throwing more money at the US military!" In a weird sense, the movie's ending is similar to Ralph 2. However this one felt more emotional and handled the situation in a vastly superior way.

You heard me right. A Walt Disney movie is not as good as a TRANSFORMERS movie. I think that's in the Book of Revelations about "the end times."

So Bumblebee (the character not the movie) is our main Autobot for the film, with Optimus Prime and pals showing up for the opening and briefly for the ending. What this film does is really humanise the character by showing emotional range and feeling in a character who looks like a cross between an insect, a Volkswagen Beetle, and one of Darkseid's parademons. The movie also offers an explanation as to why Bumblebee can't talk which, once again, contradicts the 2007 movie. Just admit it’s a reboot, Hasbro.

I think when setting up the groundwork for this "reboot" I can see why they resisted the need to have a big name Decepticon, such as Soundwave or even Megatron as the main villain. Besides a brief appearance by Starsc-I mean Blitzwing, what we got was only two Deceptions. One being an obscure G1 character and the other appears to be a new character for the movie.

Having a new female Transformer is always welcome in my book because there is only so many times you can recycle the likes of Arcee or Blackarachnia. Shatter and Dropkick are not the most unique or original villains I've seen, but after years of grumpy sounding junkheaps who either talk gibberish or pretend to be black stereotypes, I'll gladly have this anyday.

That's always been a problem with the Decepticons in the past for only Optimus Prime and Bumblebee had any degree of development, while every other bot was just there to die. I compare this approach to the goons that are killed in the Die Hard movies. You don't really care cus they're just Hans Gruber's henchmen that John McClane gets to kil. Doing this style of movie with established and beloved characters NEVER works. Just look at the X-Men, Ninja Turtles, or even those guys from Infinity War.

These Decepticons weren't just one dimensional shitheads and incompetent at everything. They're very cunning wordsmiths that outsmart the humans and double cross them the first chance they get. Hell even John Cena kinda lampshades this in the movie by calling attention to the fact they're called DECEPTicons. I think the part where Shatter begins to deceive Sector 7, I loved Dropkick's response of "wait, what are you doing?" before playing along with her. It was beyond refreshing and thankfully better than "here, let me make the biggest explosion possible!"

Speaking of refreshing, it's nice to get human characters that don't make me cringe or want to drive my fist through a wall. I think when the black kid showed up, my natural reaction was "let me guess, a ghetto hoodrat who says SHEEET a lot?" which after 5 Michael Bay movies, you could forgive me for jumping to conclusions.

Let's start with Charlie (played by Hailee Steinfeld) who is everything both Shia and Marky Mark should have been. She isn't this stuttering nitwit or "I'M AN INVENTOR, GUYZ!" but an actual character that's somewhat relatable. A former diver who quit due to the passing of her father, Charlie works on cars and is something of a social outcast. Then Bumblebee enters her life and she has a real friend to relate and confide in. From here, you can quickly make the obvious comparisons to both E.T. and the Iron Giant. Not that I would argue that's a bad thing for they're both great movies!

Another great thing about Charlie as a character is that we establish things about her character, instead of the movie glossing over things. We see her interest in cars and repairing them, so it makes logical sense how she can repair Bumblebee and can somehow shut down a Decepticon transmitter. Unlike say Rae from Star Wars where we're just told things about her, Charlie's knowledge and motivations are showcased and explored.

In other words: "Show, don't tell!"

When I heard John Cena was in this movie, I immediately groaned. However, I really liked him in this movie. He was funny when he needed to be, but knew how to turn on the serious when Bumblebee entered the fray. I think it works in John Cena's favour when he's the side character or in a supporting role, for I've seen his "range" of acting and.... Well, let's be nice and say "he's better in a role like this!"

When they introduced Charlie's parents (mum and step-dad) I think I braced for impact for I had a feeling of how this was going to turn out! Thankfully, the movie gave them a moderate amount of screen time. No talks about masterbating, taking pot brownies, or skinny dipping, instead they behaved like regular movie parents you'd see in 1980's movies. Yes, they started off irritating, but the movie concludes their involvement in a satisfying way. Her little brother started off irritating as well, but he got better.

Not much else to really say about them shockingly. They were grounded characters who aided in Charlie's character growth.

(Conclusion)
This is a basic tribute to the 1980's, right down to the run time of about 1 hour and 54 minutes. The musical score is fantastic and the Transformers easter eggs are more on the nose than just saying "More Than Meets The Eye '' one too many times. I loved every minute of this movie and I hope they bin the Bay movies and give this movie sequels.

If you haven't seen Bumblebee yet cus you think "urgh more Michael Bay bullshit!" then please give this one a watch. I highly recommend it for it's a quirky but heartfelt story full of adorable moments and some really funny comedy.

Yeah I know, a Transformers movie that's actually funny. It's gotta be in the book of revelations somewhere.

Description
BUMBLEBEE.
Directed by: Travis Knight.
Written by: Christina Hodson.
Starring: Hailee Steinfeld, John Cena, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., John Ortiz, Jason Drucker, and Pamela Adlon.
Based on the 1980's Toy/Cartoon franchise by: Hasbro.
Genre: PG (Mild acts of violence and language).

It's been pretty embarrassing to admit to people I'm a Transformers fan for the past 10+ years, when Michael Bay has made some mediocre movies that think cars, tits, the US military, football and product placement is more important than the titular characters.

The Last Knight was the straw that finally shattered the camel's spinal column, as audiences had enough of this bullshit and wanted a change. I think it says something when not even China could save this explosive bout of nonsensical plots, inconsistent backstories, retcons, and more racism than a Youtube comment section.

Because of this, a massive course direction was in place. I imagine Steps 1-9 were "keep Michael Bay away from the directing chair!" So what do you get when you strip a Transformers movie of all the bullshit we've grown to hate, kept the focus small, shifted priorities, reduced the runtime, and hired a director who knows how to make a movie people will like?

The answer is a reboot called Bumblebee.

I say a reboot, but it's not really clear if this is starting off from scratch, or will lead into all the tangled stupidity we recently discarded. I personally feel it's a complete reboot for there is no mention of an Allspark, the backstory does not line up with the 2007 film, the Transformers designs are different, Bumblebee arrives in 1987 rather than the 1940's, and Optimus Prime is on Earth by the end of the film. when by all accounts he wouldn't arrive until 2007. Hasbro, if you have any common sense you'll say "this IS a reboot" so we don't get ridiculous shit like this.

Optimus Prime: Bumblebee, I need to leave the planet for about 20 years. Why? I don't know.

Can I just say “THANK YOU” for Travis Knight. Instead an aging fratfuck who had nothing but contempt for the audience and said "fuck it!" whenever the camera started rolling, Travis used his animation background to tell a more coherent story that had characters with heart instead of fart jokes.

It's also a bold move to give a movie to a secondary character like Bumblebee. While granted he was an important character in G1, Bee didn't have the big name appeal of say Optimus Prime, Megatron, Starscream, or even Soundwave. Considering after the G1 cartoon concluded Bumblebee wouldn't reappear in a major role until the 2007 movie, THEN he became as big as Prime etc.

Regardless of origins, Bumblebee made quite a name for himself in the Michael Bay movies, so in that regard I can see why they'd give him a spin off. Cus a little yellow robot is easier to spot in an endless sea of dirty gun metal grey junkpiles.

Before we get into the review proper, let's consider what exactly this movie did away with. So you can truly appreciate why people are saying "this is the only good one!"

Convoluted backstory involving interchangeable cosmic macguffins..
A movie nearly 3 hours long that overstays its welcome.
A movie with 50 million plots happening at once.
Far too many annoying human characters complete with interchangeable racist stereotypes.
Far too many disposable Transformer characters complete with zero personality or appeal.
A main character who only communicates in stutters and terrible dialogue.
A main female character who looks like a Zoo cover girl and is probably shagging the director.
An over reliance on Optimus Prime and Megatron.
Fan favourite characters who only have their name as their only character depth.
A very annoying family of the main character who are given FAR TOO MUCH screen time.
Cradle Snatching (thank God).
Terrible humour that not even Doug Walker would touch.
Shia "He Will Not Divide Us" LaBeouf.
John Turturro having a mental breakdown on set.
Award winning actors who will need therapy to help them forget they agreed to be in these films.
Wanking off Uncle Sam.
Out of place music from the likes of Linkin Park.
Shaky cam that always focuses on everything except the giant fighting robots.
And everything else we've grown to hate from a Michael Bay movie.

Wave goodbye to all of that fucking bullshit!

This entire film is the antithesis of every Transformers movie from the last ten years! In short - It's an actual movie and not a very long music video for Linkin Park! When the movie began with a huge battle scene on Cybertron, no joke, I literally sat up in my seat, my eyes widened, placed my hands together and said "You have my attention." When it concluded, I turned to Di’Aniss and said " I am in danger of giving a fuck!"

Bumblebee (the movie not the character) feels like both a love letter and a long winded apology to long time Transformers fans, by offering up a character driven story about friendship, acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go of the past, instead of a movie that says "Every problem can be solved by throwing more money at the US military!" In a weird sense, the movie's ending is similar to Ralph 2. However this one felt more emotional and handled the situation in a vastly superior way.

You heard me right. A Walt Disney movie is not as good as a TRANSFORMERS movie. I think that's in the Book of Revelations about "the end times."

So Bumblebee (the character not the movie) is our main Autobot for the film, with Optimus Prime and pals showing up for the opening and briefly for the ending. What this film does is really humanise the character by showing emotional range and feeling in a character who looks like a cross between an insect, a Volkswagen Beetle, and one of Darkseid's parademons. The movie also offers an explanation as to why Bumblebee can't talk which, once again, contradicts the 2007 movie. Just admit it’s a reboot, Hasbro.

I think when setting up the groundwork for this "reboot" I can see why they resisted the need to have a big name Decepticon, such as Soundwave or even Megatron as the main villain. Besides a brief appearance by Starsc-I mean Blitzwing, what we got was only two Deceptions. One being an obscure G1 character and the other appears to be a new character for the movie.

Having a new female Transformer is always welcome in my book because there is only so many times you can recycle the likes of Arcee or Blackarachnia. Shatter and Dropkick are not the most unique or original villains I've seen, but after years of grumpy sounding junkheaps who either talk gibberish or pretend to be black stereotypes, I'll gladly have this anyday.

That's always been a problem with the Decepticons in the past for only Optimus Prime and Bumblebee had any degree of development, while every other bot was just there to die. I compare this approach to the goons that are killed in the Die Hard movies. You don't really care cus they're just Hans Gruber's henchmen that John McClane gets to kil. Doing this style of movie with established and beloved characters NEVER works. Just look at the X-Men, Ninja Turtles, or even those guys from Infinity War.

These Decepticons weren't just one dimensional shitheads and incompetent at everything. They're very cunning wordsmiths that outsmart the humans and double cross them the first chance they get. Hell even John Cena kinda lampshades this in the movie by calling attention to the fact they're called DECEPTicons. I think the part where Shatter begins to deceive Sector 7, I loved Dropkick's response of "wait, what are you doing?" before playing along with her. It was beyond refreshing and thankfully better than "here, let me make the biggest explosion possible!"

Speaking of refreshing, it's nice to get human characters that don't make me cringe or want to drive my fist through a wall. I think when the black kid showed up, my natural reaction was "let me guess, a ghetto hoodrat who says SHEEET a lot?" which after 5 Michael Bay movies, you could forgive me for jumping to conclusions.

Let's start with Charlie (played by Hailee Steinfeld) who is everything both Shia and Marky Mark should have been. She isn't this stuttering nitwit or "I'M AN INVENTOR, GUYZ!" but an actual character that's somewhat relatable. A former diver who quit due to the passing of her father, Charlie works on cars and is something of a social outcast. Then Bumblebee enters her life and she has a real friend to relate and confide in. From here, you can quickly make the obvious comparisons to both E.T. and the Iron Giant. Not that I would argue that's a bad thing for they're both great movies!

Another great thing about Charlie as a character is that we establish things about her character, instead of the movie glossing over things. We see her interest in cars and repairing them, so it makes logical sense how she can repair Bumblebee and can somehow shut down a Decepticon transmitter. Unlike say Rae from Star Wars where we're just told things about her, Charlie's knowledge and motivations are showcased and explored.

In other words: "Show, don't tell!"

When I heard John Cena was in this movie, I immediately groaned. However, I really liked him in this movie. He was funny when he needed to be, but knew how to turn on the serious when Bumblebee entered the fray. I think it works in John Cena's favour when he's the side character or in a supporting role, for I've seen his "range" of acting and.... Well, let's be nice and say "he's better in a role like this!"

When they introduced Charlie's parents (mum and step-dad) I think I braced for impact for I had a feeling of how this was going to turn out! Thankfully, the movie gave them a moderate amount of screen time. No talks about masterbating, taking pot brownies, or skinny dipping, instead they behaved like regular movie parents you'd see in 1980's movies. Yes, they started off irritating, but the movie concludes their involvement in a satisfying way. Her little brother started off irritating as well, but he got better.

Not much else to really say about them shockingly. They were grounded characters who aided in Charlie's character growth.

(Conclusion)
This is a basic tribute to the 1980's, right down to the run time of about 1 hour and 54 minutes. The musical score is fantastic and the Transformers easter eggs are more on the nose than just saying "More Than Meets The Eye '' one too many times. I loved every minute of this movie and I hope they bin the Bay movies and give this movie sequels.

If you haven't seen Bumblebee yet cus you think "urgh more Michael Bay bullshit!" then please give this one a watch. I highly recommend it for it's a quirky but heartfelt story full of adorable moments and some really funny comedy.

Yeah I know, a Transformers movie that's actually funny. It's gotta be in the book of revelations somewhere.