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So we've reached the end of another Disney venture which has gone about as well as you'd expect. Who knew taking over a beloved franchise, written by one guy with a vision, and turning it into sub-par Marvel bullshit created one of the most hated trilogies in film history? While I have no doubt there are people who enjoyed Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker, and more power to you, but this rant is mainly an attempt to rationalise my personal take on this whole issue. Not MovieBob's, Razorfist's, Nostalgia Critic's, Buzzfeed's, Sargon of Akkad's, or any other asshat on Youtube either YAY or NAY on the subject. Not having seen the film (and with no current plans to) I will say I've read the detailed synopsis and seen a few clips to comfortably say "I don't think I'd enjoy it."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNyTF_…

Now that this mess is finally over, I think I now can say with full confidence that Disney really had no plan or vision when it came to the Star Wars franchise. First they threw out the Expanded Universe in favor of a brand new trilogy, in a sort of "we know better than the guy who made the series!" kinda way. The problem of course is that they didn't really add anything new or creative to the story; just a bunch of nostalgic callbacks, one dimensional characters, and a Mary-Sue who makes Anakin look like Tom Holland's Spider-Man in comparrison. The nostalgic callbacks really got intrusive as early as the Force Awakens for it honestly felt like Disney were trying to distract the audience by going "hey look it's _______!" so you wouldn't pay attention to the finer details.

Next came the not so subtle elements of diversity, feminism, inclusivity, or whatever bollocks The Guardian will champion this week. I'm all for representation and inclusion, but can we please put this tactic of calling everyone who has quesitons or critiques every ist/ism/obia to fucking bed already? You'd think after losing 2 elections and a Brexit vote they'd pack it in with this shit? People who didn't enjoy The Last Jedi are NOT child murdering nazi collaborators, who punch women while watching Paul Joesph Watson videos! They're mostly likely fans of the franchise you've pissed off with your childish tantrums, and DEMANDING they get onboard with your Twitter nonsense that does not apply to people living in the real world! The pushback is no different to the ones Transformers fans made against Michael Bay (even if Vazul had a point back in the day). How Kathleen Kennedy still has a job baffles me at this point. Not because she's a woman, but because she's terrible at her job with utter hogwash such as "The force is female!" Even Ghostbusters 2016 wasn't that paste swillingly stupid... Okay, maybe it was but that's not the point!

I think what bothered me about Disney's takeover of the franchise is they've really learned nothing from George Lucas, and proceeded to say "hold my drink" on all his terrible ideas. If there is one thing anyone knows about me when it comes to Star Wars is that I have only wanted one simple thing - Disney to release the unaltered Star Wars trilogy on DVD. No special editions, no extended scenes, no Han shooting/not shooting first drama, no Vader going "Nuuoooooouoouoouoooo!" in Return of the Jedi, no altering scenes to match the Prequels, and no CGI crap that adds nothing to a scene. Just the films as they were upon the original release. I didn't ask for a Sequel Trilogy with cringey new woke-characters, a Han Solo prequel movie, and the creation of the worst movie of all time - Rogue One. I'm not including the Mandalorian in that for I do hear good things about it.

Because let me ask you all an honest question: Did Star Wars REALLY need to continue?

With the satisfying end of The Return of the Jedi, why would you upset that ending by adding 3 more stories to it that ultimately contributed bugger all? A trilogy that tried to move forward with Darth Smeagol and Kylo RenandStimpy, but quickly said fuck it and brought Emperor Palpatine back (still not sure how and why he's back to be honest with you) and holding all of the franchise's hopes on a female lead who has the acting and emotional range of a brick with a frowny face drawn on it. Not to mention binning the expanded universe lore in favour of god awful prequel films nobody asked for, and poor old Kathleen saying "this is hard because we don't have any books or movies to adapt!" Again - How does she still have a job? If I were to sum up this whole catastrophe in a single word it would probably be "hubris." Disney's hubris in that they could do no wrong by creating a global money making success off a franchise that hasn't produced a truly flawless production since 1983. I know Disney plan to continue the series in about 3 years time; why on Earth they'd want to give us more of this tosh is a real head scratcher - but since they're giving us Captain Marvel 2 says Disney doesn't give a shit about quality control.... Urgh; I can already see the 3 million videos Geeks&Gamers will make about that movie already.

(shudders).

Now I know some people may say something along the lines of "Well the Star Wars manbabies need to stop crying! It's not their franchise anymore and they're every ist, ism, obia, something-something etc etc!" I'm gonna end this rant this by giving you an analogy.

Let's say for the sake of argument Rebecca Sugar decides she's done with Steven Universe tomorrow, and sells the entire rights to Cartoon Network/TimeWarner/Turner Broadcasting System/or whoever. From there (gonna stick with TimeWarner) a brand new season and a series of live action movies are announced; so the fanbase get incredibly excited to see their beloved series continue.... Only for that excitement to vanish when TimeWarner reveal their plans for the franchise. First, the movie series is directed by Zack Snyder/Michael Bay (take your pick) and the overall target demographic is going to be "adjusted" so they can increase their box office. SU's basic audience are women and LGBTQ+, but these films suddenly target fratboys, 35 year old men, and China. So the story isn't about Gems and emotions, now it's about the US Military led by Lt.Steven Universe (played by Ryan Reynalds) fighting off a race of killer alien monsters (who look like a cross between Michael Bay's Transformers and pornstars with DD tits) called "The Killer Gemanators." The series introduces a new set of characters to "expand demographics" and the new characters are basically "everything Twitter hates" just to save some time. Naturally the fanbase has a bit of a moo about this because they feel betrayed, but every major news outlet calls them "entitled" and they should "accept it's not their series anymore!" Or a series of self-endulgent rants by ideologs such as Jim Sterling or MovieBob in paticular. This culminates in one of the worst movies in cinema history that is all a cheap ploy for you to sign up to a streaming service. And if all that sounds awful to you, well that's what Star Wars fans had to put up with.

Don't worry about it though, I'm sure Disney will find something else to ruin that you all loved but was driven into the ground by the original creator real soon.

Like the Alien movies for example....

Description
So we've reached the end of another Disney venture which has gone about as well as you'd expect. Who knew taking over a beloved franchise, written by one guy with a vision, and turning it into sub-par Marvel bullshit created one of the most hated trilogies in film history? While I have no doubt there are people who enjoyed Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker, and more power to you, but this rant is mainly an attempt to rationalise my personal take on this whole issue. Not MovieBob's, Razorfist's, Nostalgia Critic's, Buzzfeed's, Sargon of Akkad's, or any other asshat on Youtube either YAY or NAY on the subject. Not having seen the film (and with no current plans to) I will say I've read the detailed synopsis and seen a few clips to comfortably say "I don't think I'd enjoy it."

www.youtube.com/watch?v=dNyTF_…

Now that this mess is finally over, I think I now can say with full confidence that Disney really had no plan or vision when it came to the Star Wars franchise. First they threw out the Expanded Universe in favor of a brand new trilogy, in a sort of "we know better than the guy who made the series!" kinda way. The problem of course is that they didn't really add anything new or creative to the story; just a bunch of nostalgic callbacks, one dimensional characters, and a Mary-Sue who makes Anakin look like Tom Holland's Spider-Man in comparrison. The nostalgic callbacks really got intrusive as early as the Force Awakens for it honestly felt like Disney were trying to distract the audience by going "hey look it's _______!" so you wouldn't pay attention to the finer details.

Next came the not so subtle elements of diversity, feminism, inclusivity, or whatever bollocks The Guardian will champion this week. I'm all for representation and inclusion, but can we please put this tactic of calling everyone who has quesitons or critiques every ist/ism/obia to fucking bed already? You'd think after losing 2 elections and a Brexit vote they'd pack it in with this shit? People who didn't enjoy The Last Jedi are NOT child murdering nazi collaborators, who punch women while watching Paul Joesph Watson videos! They're mostly likely fans of the franchise you've pissed off with your childish tantrums, and DEMANDING they get onboard with your Twitter nonsense that does not apply to people living in the real world! The pushback is no different to the ones Transformers fans made against Michael Bay (even if Vazul had a point back in the day). How Kathleen Kennedy still has a job baffles me at this point. Not because she's a woman, but because she's terrible at her job with utter hogwash such as "The force is female!" Even Ghostbusters 2016 wasn't that paste swillingly stupid... Okay, maybe it was but that's not the point!

I think what bothered me about Disney's takeover of the franchise is they've really learned nothing from George Lucas, and proceeded to say "hold my drink" on all his terrible ideas. If there is one thing anyone knows about me when it comes to Star Wars is that I have only wanted one simple thing - Disney to release the unaltered Star Wars trilogy on DVD. No special editions, no extended scenes, no Han shooting/not shooting first drama, no Vader going "Nuuoooooouoouoouoooo!" in Return of the Jedi, no altering scenes to match the Prequels, and no CGI crap that adds nothing to a scene. Just the films as they were upon the original release. I didn't ask for a Sequel Trilogy with cringey new woke-characters, a Han Solo prequel movie, and the creation of the worst movie of all time - Rogue One. I'm not including the Mandalorian in that for I do hear good things about it.

Because let me ask you all an honest question: Did Star Wars REALLY need to continue?

With the satisfying end of The Return of the Jedi, why would you upset that ending by adding 3 more stories to it that ultimately contributed bugger all? A trilogy that tried to move forward with Darth Smeagol and Kylo RenandStimpy, but quickly said fuck it and brought Emperor Palpatine back (still not sure how and why he's back to be honest with you) and holding all of the franchise's hopes on a female lead who has the acting and emotional range of a brick with a frowny face drawn on it. Not to mention binning the expanded universe lore in favour of god awful prequel films nobody asked for, and poor old Kathleen saying "this is hard because we don't have any books or movies to adapt!" Again - How does she still have a job? If I were to sum up this whole catastrophe in a single word it would probably be "hubris." Disney's hubris in that they could do no wrong by creating a global money making success off a franchise that hasn't produced a truly flawless production since 1983. I know Disney plan to continue the series in about 3 years time; why on Earth they'd want to give us more of this tosh is a real head scratcher - but since they're giving us Captain Marvel 2 says Disney doesn't give a shit about quality control.... Urgh; I can already see the 3 million videos Geeks&Gamers will make about that movie already.

(shudders).

Now I know some people may say something along the lines of "Well the Star Wars manbabies need to stop crying! It's not their franchise anymore and they're every ist, ism, obia, something-something etc etc!" I'm gonna end this rant this by giving you an analogy.

Let's say for the sake of argument Rebecca Sugar decides she's done with Steven Universe tomorrow, and sells the entire rights to Cartoon Network/TimeWarner/Turner Broadcasting System/or whoever. From there (gonna stick with TimeWarner) a brand new season and a series of live action movies are announced; so the fanbase get incredibly excited to see their beloved series continue.... Only for that excitement to vanish when TimeWarner reveal their plans for the franchise. First, the movie series is directed by Zack Snyder/Michael Bay (take your pick) and the overall target demographic is going to be "adjusted" so they can increase their box office. SU's basic audience are women and LGBTQ+, but these films suddenly target fratboys, 35 year old men, and China. So the story isn't about Gems and emotions, now it's about the US Military led by Lt.Steven Universe (played by Ryan Reynalds) fighting off a race of killer alien monsters (who look like a cross between Michael Bay's Transformers and pornstars with DD tits) called "The Killer Gemanators." The series introduces a new set of characters to "expand demographics" and the new characters are basically "everything Twitter hates" just to save some time. Naturally the fanbase has a bit of a moo about this because they feel betrayed, but every major news outlet calls them "entitled" and they should "accept it's not their series anymore!" Or a series of self-endulgent rants by ideologs such as Jim Sterling or MovieBob in paticular. This culminates in one of the worst movies in cinema history that is all a cheap ploy for you to sign up to a streaming service. And if all that sounds awful to you, well that's what Star Wars fans had to put up with.

Don't worry about it though, I'm sure Disney will find something else to ruin that you all loved but was driven into the ground by the original creator real soon.

Like the Alien movies for example....