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It's been about 10,000 years, but I think it's time for another Snark of the Week. I do apologise for the lack of updates lately. Trying to find time to work on this side series has proven to be a challenge. Well, you know what they say: “Better late than never.”

If you are new to this series, this is going to be my temporary replacement for the Month Reviews, because I found the task very time consuming (as well as contributing to my mental breakdown) and just a lot of repeated news stories. I mean, how many times can I keep saying “yes, Putin is a monster and Biden is a colossal idiot” over and over and over again?

When the war ends and Biden finally dies/resigns, I’ll start MRs again next year.

To kick things off, let's have a quick revisit of the UK alert system thingy that was broadcast on April 23rd. I must be Nostradamus because, as I predicted, it went a bit pear-shaped. Upon the initial broadcast, residents of the UK reported either getting the alert early, late or simply not at all, whereas I had the settings switched off because I don't need the Nannystate lurching down my eardrums.

I decided to catch some clips of the talking heads of the lamestream media talking about this and they all kept repeating the same talking point: “It’s essential because it is designed to keep us safe!” Keep us safe? I’ve said it before and I'll say it again: “I think you're confusing safe with in line.”

I find it patronising that the government thinks I need an alert system to inform me about things that I can either see with my eyes, hear of my ears, or smell of my nose. This overdependence on technology is making people lazy, inept and above all else compliant with government mandates.

Of course the experts made the same argument when you challenge this utter bollocks: “Oh? You won't be saying that when you wake up and your house is on fire! What will you say then? You'll say "oh I wish I had the alert system now!” I wouldn't say anything, because I'd be dead and free of your bullshit. Problem solved!

Next, we have the decaying remnants of digital media going the way of the dinosaurs. Gosh! Who knew basing your entire platform to tell the world you hate Trump/Troy was not a sustainable business model? I don’t even like the guy, but I got sick of that shit by February 2017.

I even tried telling a former friend this, but he said “I MUST make fun of him! It’s the only way to win!” He’s a former friend for a reason.

First BuzzFeed News goes under and now Vice is bleeding out viewership and going up for auction. I’d tell you I'm surprised by all this, but I'd be lying.

No sympathy. Get fucked, losers.

And finally for this long overdue edition of Snark of the Week, we have the continued meltdown regarding the Super Mario Brothers movie; which is now approaching the one billion dollar payday. I'm sure Grace Randolph is cooking up some excuses and backpedalling as we speak.

I gotta say, it's kind of hilarious watching all these critics now reversing their opinions to say “Oh? We always liked the movie!” You fucking hated the movie, you stupid shits. I also love how Shigeru Miyamoto threw some shade at these jouro-twats by saying “thank you for promoting the movie!” Oooh. Gonna need some ice for that burn.

I guess that’s the general theme of this Snark of the Week: Three forms of digital content going tits up. See you next week (hopefully).

Description
It's been about 10,000 years, but I think it's time for another Snark of the Week. I do apologise for the lack of updates lately. Trying to find time to work on this side series has proven to be a challenge. Well, you know what they say: “Better late than never.”

If you are new to this series, this is going to be my temporary replacement for the Month Reviews, because I found the task very time consuming (as well as contributing to my mental breakdown) and just a lot of repeated news stories. I mean, how many times can I keep saying “yes, Putin is a monster and Biden is a colossal idiot” over and over and over again?

When the war ends and Biden finally dies/resigns, I’ll start MRs again next year.

To kick things off, let's have a quick revisit of the UK alert system thingy that was broadcast on April 23rd. I must be Nostradamus because, as I predicted, it went a bit pear-shaped. Upon the initial broadcast, residents of the UK reported either getting the alert early, late or simply not at all, whereas I had the settings switched off because I don't need the Nannystate lurching down my eardrums.

I decided to catch some clips of the talking heads of the lamestream media talking about this and they all kept repeating the same talking point: “It’s essential because it is designed to keep us safe!” Keep us safe? I’ve said it before and I'll say it again: “I think you're confusing safe with in line.”

I find it patronising that the government thinks I need an alert system to inform me about things that I can either see with my eyes, hear of my ears, or smell of my nose. This overdependence on technology is making people lazy, inept and above all else compliant with government mandates.

Of course the experts made the same argument when you challenge this utter bollocks: “Oh? You won't be saying that when you wake up and your house is on fire! What will you say then? You'll say "oh I wish I had the alert system now!” I wouldn't say anything, because I'd be dead and free of your bullshit. Problem solved!

Next, we have the decaying remnants of digital media going the way of the dinosaurs. Gosh! Who knew basing your entire platform to tell the world you hate Trump/Troy was not a sustainable business model? I don’t even like the guy, but I got sick of that shit by February 2017.

I even tried telling a former friend this, but he said “I MUST make fun of him! It’s the only way to win!” He’s a former friend for a reason.

First BuzzFeed News goes under and now Vice is bleeding out viewership and going up for auction. I’d tell you I'm surprised by all this, but I'd be lying.

No sympathy. Get fucked, losers.

And finally for this long overdue edition of Snark of the Week, we have the continued meltdown regarding the Super Mario Brothers movie; which is now approaching the one billion dollar payday. I'm sure Grace Randolph is cooking up some excuses and backpedalling as we speak.

I gotta say, it's kind of hilarious watching all these critics now reversing their opinions to say “Oh? We always liked the movie!” You fucking hated the movie, you stupid shits. I also love how Shigeru Miyamoto threw some shade at these jouro-twats by saying “thank you for promoting the movie!” Oooh. Gonna need some ice for that burn.

I guess that’s the general theme of this Snark of the Week: Three forms of digital content going tits up. See you next week (hopefully).