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Description
So Wish is apparently terrible. That’s been your obligatory Disney being shit reference. Now, on with the Snark.

Click Baittle.
This was announced last week, but the previews for it didn’t appear until this week, so it counts.

If you ever needed proof that Death Battle is not only out of ideas, but resorting to clickbait to trigger fanboy rage, then may I point you in the direction of Goku Vs. Superman Part 3. Also, because I'm not a fan of Rick and Morty or Doctor Who, I’m indifferent to the outcome of that video, but a part of me has pride that nobody does sci-fi like jolly old England.

As for the reveal of another unneeded fight between these overrated cash cows, I rolled my eyes so hard I could count the wrinkles in my brain. Pitting these two against each other makes no sense in both logical and practical senses. One is a martial arts expert from another planet who achieves Mary Sue powers via hair dye, and the other is a Moses/Übermensch metaphor and never loses to ANYONE - except for a billionaire dressed as his fursona.

I don't mean to insult fans of Goku and Superman with my unflattering commentary here, but it really defeats the purpose of “let's end this debate once and for all,” or “we've run the data through all possibilities” if you keep making these guy's fight each other again, and again, and again and again. Sadly, the idea of Goku Vs. Superman is entirely pointless because it has no lasting conclusion; thanks to Dragonball’s endless desire for more merchandise.

Round One: Superman pulverises Super Saiyan level four and annihilates Earth in a single punch, but then Dragon Ball Super came out and introduced Super Saiyan God.

Round Two: Superman wipes his ass with both versions of Super Saiyan God and just kills Goku via lobotomy this time, but then Dragon Ball Super introduced Ultra Instinct.

Even if Superman does win this again, Akira Toriyama and Dragon Ball is just gonna bring out yet another form for Goku to undertake in the near future, so we’ll be doing this bollocks until the heat death of the universe. Who knew the winner of Goku Vs. Superman would be entropy itself.

Also, the continuous need to make Goku stronger than Superman is a massive betrayal of what the character represents and stands for. Goku is NOT invincible. Despite his God-Tier status in the series, he's still canonically lost battles to the likes of Raditiz, Captain Ginyu, Android 19, Perfect Cell, Vegeta, Lord Beerus, Hit and Jiren. He did technically lose to Frieza as well in Resurrection F, but that doesn't count since Whiz pulled a do-over. We love this character because, despite his hardships and shortcomings, he finds the strength to give it his all. Even losing is something Goku can learn from and become a better fighter.

Superman is heavily criticised by normies who don't read comic books as “an overpowered Gary Stu with no relatable qualities and is therefore boring.” For him, it's not about "being the strongest," but rather an alien/God learning what it means to be human and fit in with humans. In a way, he's the ultimate refugee story, but don't tell UKIP voters about that.

The constant need to have Goku square off against Superman is a bit like asking a third grader to win a 500 metre dash against an Olympic gold medalist. I'm sorry, but even if Goku becomes a Ultra Instincted Super Saiyan Light-Blue Level 49, he still won't even come close to the Man of Steel's full potential - Because his full potential is LIMITLESS. I may not be a fan of Superman, but even I understand him better than his haters.

Their solution is to make Superman weaker or filled with so many handicaps, he gets a free bus pass. However, that flies in the face of Goku's core character in wanting to fight someone at their BEST. I think it said everything it needed to when Death Battle and TeamFourStar had to all but spell out to these people that making Goku stronger than Superman would make him "just as boring" in their eyes. And to add my voice into that conversation: Powers don't make a character interesting. Character makes a character interesting.

So when this inevitable Round 3 shows up, I will not be watching because I already had that question answered for me a long time ago. Just to repeat what I said back then: “this is a fight neither DC Comics or Shonen Jump give two steaming shits about and they care even less about you, throwing textbook hissy fits on the internet.”

And yes, Popeye the Sailor Man would still destroy them both.

Doctor Who-thought this was a good idea?
This was requested by my good friend Di’Aniss.

I’ve never sat down to watch a full episode of Doctor Who. You'd think as a resident of the UK it would be compulsory watching, but nope, never watched it growing up. I already had my 80s/90s UK sci-fi fix thanks to Red Dwarf, so why would I need anything else? I thought I'd open with that to show this a complete outsider's perspective and not someone raging over what's-her-name from a previous season.

From what people have told me, the show took something of a divisive tone when the aforementioned what’s-her-name took over and it got, shall we say, a bit preachy? Personally, I don’t know what everyone’s so shocked about? It’s the BBC! This network is preachier than catholic mass and as long as the plebs keep paying that TV licence, they’ll keep pumping this garbage out with a smug grin on their faces.

What could be viewed as damage control, they’ve brought David Tennant back to salvage this mess, but even his charismatic talents can’t save this sinking ship. I hear he’ll soon be replaced with the first ever black incarnation of the Doctor and all I can say to that guy is: “stay offline! You’ll save yourself a headache.”

The show also sparked something of a controversy. So there's this chap called Davros, who's some evil cybernetic general and creator of those walking bins called the Daleks. I saw some pictures of the guy and the best way to describe him is to imagine “if Pinhead had a stroke.” However, that seems to be all in the past as a brand new incarnation of the character was recently unveiled with a look that really gives me ‘1940s vibes’

Wow, BBC. Tell us how you really feel?

I try to avoid the dreaded W word in Snark of the Week, but it's kind of difficult to avoid saying it when you consider the very nature of this character's redesign. The reason for this able-bodied makeover was and I quote: “picturing people with disabilities as evil is very immoral.”

There's a lot to unpack with that statement.

I've never understood this desire to reformat and reshape your entire franchise in order to court an audience that couldn't give a shit even if you gave them laxatives. And I hate to be that guy here, but isn't it exclusionary to deny women, minorities and the disabled into being any kind of character? I thought you guys are all about inclusion?

The powers that be have convinced themselves that “everything needs to be for everyone”, but their reasoning is not because they're moral and upstanding Social Justice Warriors, but because it's the best way to make more money. If everyone buys your product then you are very, very rich. However, people are cancelling their Netflix and Disney+ subscriptions, they aren't buying Marvel or DC Comics as bog roll and the general decline of cinema in general tells me when trying to be for everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

There’s also this passive-aggressive remark the show made about “if the Doctor was still a woman, they wouldn’t have made any kind of mistake.” Somebody should tell whoever wrote that to look up Liz Truss and Theresa May. Their head may explode.

The Cu*t of Personality.
If someone can truly give something up that's making them miserable, they have my full respect. Whether it's a terrible job, drugs, an addictive habit or just a relationship that's going nowhere, if you can truly walk away and never look back, you're a winner in my eyes. Giving up is NOT a sign of weakness. Sometimes, for your own health and sanity, it is paramount that you put yourself first and drop that bullshit at lightspeed!

My disdain for the WWE in particular was established by a little podcast back in 2014 involving one Phil Brooks - aka CM Punk. I listened to every single word of that podcast he performed with Colt Cabana as it became my only comfort in dealing with life's bullshit. I even use two lessons from that podcast to this very day.

"It's okay to be bitter about stuff. You have to eventually work through it and get over it!"
CM Punk.

"You need to be happy in your life, so why would you continue to do something that's making you miserable?"
Colt Cabana.

So you can imagine my disappointment at Punk when he decided to come back to the WWE; despite talking endless amounts of shit, suing them for damages, fouling up UFC, being fired from AEW and I'm presuming his Marvel Comics deal when tits up as well?

It's kind of sad because this was a man who could walk away and not give a shit, while burning every single bridge on the way out. Yet sure enough, here he is back on WWE programming for I assume two or three months, before he takes his ball and goes home again. Of course there won't be a podcast with Colt Cabana this time, because he took a blow torch to that friendship as well.

A friend linked me to his little promo on Monday Night Raw and allow me to translate what he said: “I’m running out of cash and nobody else wants to hire me.”

It does make him out to be a massive hypocrite when you consider the fallout he had when he walked away from Vince's travelling circus of steroidal men. Even worse, it was Triple H who resigned him. Ironic when you consider Punk once referred to him as “the doofus son-in-law who married he idiotic Boss's Daughter.”

It's not so much eating humble pie, this motherfucker’s gonna have to eat a whole humble bakery.

Dublin Riots.
In Dublin, Ireland, Children and a teacher were attacked in a senseless act of violence. The government's reaction was pretty much: “Not muh problem, m8.” This kicked the hornets nest in as it launched a full-scale riot and now all of Dublin is a blaze with light. Between riots in America, England, France, most of the Middle East and now dear old Ireland, it kind of leads you to wonder if the system is broken and there needs to be some kind of reform? Well, you all know that's never going to happen, so you might as well get used to more riots showing up.

And finally.

"Go. Fuck. Yourself."
As someone who hates Twitter and everything it stands for, it’s been ever so entertaining watching it destroy itself, while leftist screech about how they’ve lost their little fortress to spout their utter nonsense.

So the latest remarks from its owner, while amusing in context, feel like the latest death rattle from a dying platform.

By all means, sir - Do continue. When Twitter finally goes under, maybe people will go outside and talk to each other again?

Honourable mentions: Nothing comes to mind this week.

Description
So Wish is apparently terrible. That’s been your obligatory Disney being shit reference. Now, on with the Snark.

Click Baittle.
This was announced last week, but the previews for it didn’t appear until this week, so it counts.

If you ever needed proof that Death Battle is not only out of ideas, but resorting to clickbait to trigger fanboy rage, then may I point you in the direction of Goku Vs. Superman Part 3. Also, because I'm not a fan of Rick and Morty or Doctor Who, I’m indifferent to the outcome of that video, but a part of me has pride that nobody does sci-fi like jolly old England.

As for the reveal of another unneeded fight between these overrated cash cows, I rolled my eyes so hard I could count the wrinkles in my brain. Pitting these two against each other makes no sense in both logical and practical senses. One is a martial arts expert from another planet who achieves Mary Sue powers via hair dye, and the other is a Moses/Übermensch metaphor and never loses to ANYONE - except for a billionaire dressed as his fursona.

I don't mean to insult fans of Goku and Superman with my unflattering commentary here, but it really defeats the purpose of “let's end this debate once and for all,” or “we've run the data through all possibilities” if you keep making these guy's fight each other again, and again, and again and again. Sadly, the idea of Goku Vs. Superman is entirely pointless because it has no lasting conclusion; thanks to Dragonball’s endless desire for more merchandise.

Round One: Superman pulverises Super Saiyan level four and annihilates Earth in a single punch, but then Dragon Ball Super came out and introduced Super Saiyan God.

Round Two: Superman wipes his ass with both versions of Super Saiyan God and just kills Goku via lobotomy this time, but then Dragon Ball Super introduced Ultra Instinct.

Even if Superman does win this again, Akira Toriyama and Dragon Ball is just gonna bring out yet another form for Goku to undertake in the near future, so we’ll be doing this bollocks until the heat death of the universe. Who knew the winner of Goku Vs. Superman would be entropy itself.

Also, the continuous need to make Goku stronger than Superman is a massive betrayal of what the character represents and stands for. Goku is NOT invincible. Despite his God-Tier status in the series, he's still canonically lost battles to the likes of Raditiz, Captain Ginyu, Android 19, Perfect Cell, Vegeta, Lord Beerus, Hit and Jiren. He did technically lose to Frieza as well in Resurrection F, but that doesn't count since Whiz pulled a do-over. We love this character because, despite his hardships and shortcomings, he finds the strength to give it his all. Even losing is something Goku can learn from and become a better fighter.

Superman is heavily criticised by normies who don't read comic books as “an overpowered Gary Stu with no relatable qualities and is therefore boring.” For him, it's not about "being the strongest," but rather an alien/God learning what it means to be human and fit in with humans. In a way, he's the ultimate refugee story, but don't tell UKIP voters about that.

The constant need to have Goku square off against Superman is a bit like asking a third grader to win a 500 metre dash against an Olympic gold medalist. I'm sorry, but even if Goku becomes a Ultra Instincted Super Saiyan Light-Blue Level 49, he still won't even come close to the Man of Steel's full potential - Because his full potential is LIMITLESS. I may not be a fan of Superman, but even I understand him better than his haters.

Their solution is to make Superman weaker or filled with so many handicaps, he gets a free bus pass. However, that flies in the face of Goku's core character in wanting to fight someone at their BEST. I think it said everything it needed to when Death Battle and TeamFourStar had to all but spell out to these people that making Goku stronger than Superman would make him "just as boring" in their eyes. And to add my voice into that conversation: Powers don't make a character interesting. Character makes a character interesting.

So when this inevitable Round 3 shows up, I will not be watching because I already had that question answered for me a long time ago. Just to repeat what I said back then: “this is a fight neither DC Comics or Shonen Jump give two steaming shits about and they care even less about you, throwing textbook hissy fits on the internet.”

And yes, Popeye the Sailor Man would still destroy them both.

Doctor Who-thought this was a good idea?
This was requested by my good friend Di’Aniss.

I’ve never sat down to watch a full episode of Doctor Who. You'd think as a resident of the UK it would be compulsory watching, but nope, never watched it growing up. I already had my 80s/90s UK sci-fi fix thanks to Red Dwarf, so why would I need anything else? I thought I'd open with that to show this a complete outsider's perspective and not someone raging over what's-her-name from a previous season.

From what people have told me, the show took something of a divisive tone when the aforementioned what’s-her-name took over and it got, shall we say, a bit preachy? Personally, I don’t know what everyone’s so shocked about? It’s the BBC! This network is preachier than catholic mass and as long as the plebs keep paying that TV licence, they’ll keep pumping this garbage out with a smug grin on their faces.

What could be viewed as damage control, they’ve brought David Tennant back to salvage this mess, but even his charismatic talents can’t save this sinking ship. I hear he’ll soon be replaced with the first ever black incarnation of the Doctor and all I can say to that guy is: “stay offline! You’ll save yourself a headache.”

The show also sparked something of a controversy. So there's this chap called Davros, who's some evil cybernetic general and creator of those walking bins called the Daleks. I saw some pictures of the guy and the best way to describe him is to imagine “if Pinhead had a stroke.” However, that seems to be all in the past as a brand new incarnation of the character was recently unveiled with a look that really gives me ‘1940s vibes’

Wow, BBC. Tell us how you really feel?

I try to avoid the dreaded W word in Snark of the Week, but it's kind of difficult to avoid saying it when you consider the very nature of this character's redesign. The reason for this able-bodied makeover was and I quote: “picturing people with disabilities as evil is very immoral.”

There's a lot to unpack with that statement.

I've never understood this desire to reformat and reshape your entire franchise in order to court an audience that couldn't give a shit even if you gave them laxatives. And I hate to be that guy here, but isn't it exclusionary to deny women, minorities and the disabled into being any kind of character? I thought you guys are all about inclusion?

The powers that be have convinced themselves that “everything needs to be for everyone”, but their reasoning is not because they're moral and upstanding Social Justice Warriors, but because it's the best way to make more money. If everyone buys your product then you are very, very rich. However, people are cancelling their Netflix and Disney+ subscriptions, they aren't buying Marvel or DC Comics as bog roll and the general decline of cinema in general tells me when trying to be for everyone, you end up pleasing no one.

There’s also this passive-aggressive remark the show made about “if the Doctor was still a woman, they wouldn’t have made any kind of mistake.” Somebody should tell whoever wrote that to look up Liz Truss and Theresa May. Their head may explode.

The Cu*t of Personality.
If someone can truly give something up that's making them miserable, they have my full respect. Whether it's a terrible job, drugs, an addictive habit or just a relationship that's going nowhere, if you can truly walk away and never look back, you're a winner in my eyes. Giving up is NOT a sign of weakness. Sometimes, for your own health and sanity, it is paramount that you put yourself first and drop that bullshit at lightspeed!

My disdain for the WWE in particular was established by a little podcast back in 2014 involving one Phil Brooks - aka CM Punk. I listened to every single word of that podcast he performed with Colt Cabana as it became my only comfort in dealing with life's bullshit. I even use two lessons from that podcast to this very day.

"It's okay to be bitter about stuff. You have to eventually work through it and get over it!"
CM Punk.

"You need to be happy in your life, so why would you continue to do something that's making you miserable?"
Colt Cabana.

So you can imagine my disappointment at Punk when he decided to come back to the WWE; despite talking endless amounts of shit, suing them for damages, fouling up UFC, being fired from AEW and I'm presuming his Marvel Comics deal when tits up as well?

It's kind of sad because this was a man who could walk away and not give a shit, while burning every single bridge on the way out. Yet sure enough, here he is back on WWE programming for I assume two or three months, before he takes his ball and goes home again. Of course there won't be a podcast with Colt Cabana this time, because he took a blow torch to that friendship as well.

A friend linked me to his little promo on Monday Night Raw and allow me to translate what he said: “I’m running out of cash and nobody else wants to hire me.”

It does make him out to be a massive hypocrite when you consider the fallout he had when he walked away from Vince's travelling circus of steroidal men. Even worse, it was Triple H who resigned him. Ironic when you consider Punk once referred to him as “the doofus son-in-law who married he idiotic Boss's Daughter.”

It's not so much eating humble pie, this motherfucker’s gonna have to eat a whole humble bakery.

Dublin Riots.
In Dublin, Ireland, Children and a teacher were attacked in a senseless act of violence. The government's reaction was pretty much: “Not muh problem, m8.” This kicked the hornets nest in as it launched a full-scale riot and now all of Dublin is a blaze with light. Between riots in America, England, France, most of the Middle East and now dear old Ireland, it kind of leads you to wonder if the system is broken and there needs to be some kind of reform? Well, you all know that's never going to happen, so you might as well get used to more riots showing up.

And finally.

"Go. Fuck. Yourself."
As someone who hates Twitter and everything it stands for, it’s been ever so entertaining watching it destroy itself, while leftist screech about how they’ve lost their little fortress to spout their utter nonsense.

So the latest remarks from its owner, while amusing in context, feel like the latest death rattle from a dying platform.

By all means, sir - Do continue. When Twitter finally goes under, maybe people will go outside and talk to each other again?

Honourable mentions: Nothing comes to mind this week.