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RavenCloud β -Untitled-
Published: 2006-06-07 05:30:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 454; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 3
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Description
Shattered fragments of memory.Drifting wires of reconciliation.
All floating upon the turbid seas
Of pain, hunger, frustration.
Seconds tick away in cadence.
Heavy hearts, gasping for release.
Reflections of that untamed past,
Reminders for the callous future.
Where was justice on such a sharp night?
Cold steel burning against silky flesh.
What happened to existence on such a gorgeous night?
When the marionetteβs strings snapped,
And the toy finally collapsed.
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Comments: 26
thats incredible! i truly feel the depths of ur dark plagued sole! i too am alone on a see of pain.
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The repetion of 'night' reminds me of a song you know. To think that this put me in mind of PIERROT is definitely saying something.
More than your delusional, I think it to be illusion. I see here some of the instincts I put to writing as well, most prominently the similarities between syllables that adds natural emphasis. "Heavy hearts", I think comes first. Rarely do I realize what I've done until I'm finished, but it's encouraging to see I'm not the only one who has a penchant for it.
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O.o I didn't even notice the similarities in syllables until you pointed it out.
I probably had PIERROT on the brain. I find them the best to listen to when I'm moody, upset, or otherwise wanting to choke somebody. I only noticed it after I had finished, but left it anyways. It just seemed appropriate for the mood.
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Lol, it moves subconsciously in me as well. Although, that's really how a person learns anything, by remembering and modifying it. I think you're right to say that PIERROT is mood-appropriate. It's not your lawn-party kind of music.
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A twinge of the macabre look at a marionette, at the end. Is this the piece you mentioned?
Hm. Either way.
I think the most gorgeous line would be the opener of the final stanza.
It could mean so much and just sounds.. I don't really know, somehow unique.
I love the poem.
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Actually it's not. I stole the concept to reflect how I was feeling at the moment. It just seemed to fit at the moment.
I thank you for the compliment.
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Hah, shows what I know, eh?
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If you meant that to be an sort of insult to yourself then you shouldn't think such. I would have made the same assumption myself.
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I'll be honest. You amaze me once again, even if i really feel pain through your words. It also reminds me of one of my favorite lines from a favorite song.
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Really? Which song is that.
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I don't remember the title, but it's by Brand new. The line has been quoted in my DA sig for a while now.
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The end stanza is pretty cool i like it best too
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I think I really enjoy the last two lines of that stanza myself.
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lovely, just lovely. And Bean likes it as well. lol.
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My thanks ^__^
How is Bean by the way? Must be getting big huh?
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I believe she is full grown and skinny. I free feed her but she is still thin as a twig. I wish i could do that. I just got a digital camera, i sent you some pictures. How's Belle, still just as beautiful as when she was a puppy.
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And such a monster too! She's so arrogant and cocky (hmm... sounds familiar to me). Which account did you send the pics to?
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i didn't send them yet, what account should i send them to?/\ /\ there, i think i found my face, now if only i can remember how i got it ^
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Xanphadel@sbcglobal.net should work nicely
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the face didn't show up like it was suppose to. what is up with that.
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I like the last stanza the most. It's been a while since I've read anything from you. I missed it
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The other lines feel really seperate from it, but were somewhat necessary nonetheless. I'd have to agree though, the last stanza is my favorite as well.
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