HOME | DD
RavenfeatherForever — xWarrior-Catsx Contest entry
[NSFW]
Published: 2010-08-29 01:58:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 7754; Favourites: 190; Downloads: 15
Redirect to original
Description
Warrior Cat Jokes, Contest Entry. Beware Of suggestive....things...xD--
Jayfeather: -perks ears when smelling a familiar scent- Hello, Cinderheart.
Cinderheart: Hey there, sexy.
Jayfeather: Excuse me?
Cinderheart: -pounces on Jayfeather- You heard me.
Jayfeather: If I'm sexy, mind explaining to me what I look like?
Cinderheart: A light gray tabby with baby blue eyes.
Jayfeather: Great StarClan, I AM sexy aren't I?
--
Spiderleg: -walks in with a kink in his tail-
Jayfeather: Spiderleg, can I help you with something?
Spiderleg: Why would I need help with something?! -fur bristling-
Jayfeather: Daisy's trying to rape you again, isn't she?
Spiderleg: ...
Jayfeather: -sigh- I'll go get the mouse intestines.
--
Jayfeather: Hey, Cinderheart, wanna hear a joke?
Cinderheart: -sits next to Jayfeather eyes wide- SURE!
Jayfeather: ... Firestar.
Cinderheart: -looks disappointed- I don't get it. -Tilts head-
--
Jayfeather: -hears caterwauling in the middle of the night- Great StarClan, what was that?
Cinderheart: Don't worry, it's just Ferncloud and Dustpelt...
Jeayfeather: And he wonders why he has a bad back.
--
Cinderpaw: Ugh! I hate this injury! I can hardly even walk! I wish I could ride on a warriors back so I could still go into the forest...
Jaypaw: You can ride on my stick.
Cinderpaw: O_O
Jaypaw: That didn't come out right...
--
Nightcloud: - I mean, what is your problem?!
Crowfeather: -looks bored- What kind of conversation is this?
Nightcloud: -continues to bitch- I mean come on! You chose me over her but you OBVIOUSLY love her more. You impregnated her with three freaking kits!
Crowfeather: - -_-'' - ...
Nightcloud: And how many kits did you give me?! One! ONE? COME ON- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME CROWFEATHER?!
Crowfeather: -is snoring softly-
Nightcloud: Crowfeather, you will give me more kits whether you like it or not -goes and gets a sharp stick-
--
Thrushpelt: Great catch, Bluefur!
Bluefur: -is embarrassed- Erm, thanks
Thrushpelt: I loved that thing you did when you waggled your hindquarters, could you show me how to do it?
Bluefur: -awkward silence-
Thrushpelt: ...Yeah I think I'm gonna leave now
--
Jayfeather: Your fur looks so beautiful in the Moonlight
Cinderheart: -blushes under pelt- Oh Jayfeather.....YOU STUPID PIECE OF FOX-DUNG! I HATE it when you do that!
Jayfeather: -grins-
--
Whitestorm: -purrs- I love you
Willowpelt: -presses against Whitestorm- I love you too. And I always will
Whitestorm: The day I stop loving you will be the day that StarClan doesn't exist
Willowpelt: Aw, you are such a horrible flirt -purrs-
*Brindleface walks in*
Whitestorm: ...
Willowpelt: -coughs-
Brindleface: -is not impressed- Really?
Whitestorm: ... Can I explain?
Brindleface: Go ahead
Whitestorm: Well I...-
Brindleface: -walks away-
Whitestorm: Great StarClan, I'm dead
--
Bramblepaw: *jumps out of nowhere and lands on top of Firestar*
Firestar: Get off my you great lump
Bramblepaw: You didn't see me coming, did you
Firestar: *springs up and flings Bramblepaw into a tree* Bet you didn't see that coming either
Bramblepaw: Ow...
Firestar: Yeah, I thought so
--
Moonflower: - And I had the vole pinned under a tree root and- Stormtail, are you listening to me?
Stormtail: *is staring at Dappletail*
Moonflower: Can you look at your mate for once?
Stormtail: I am
Moonflower: ...I give up
--
Sandstorm: Firestar, did you ever notice how Graystripe seems to hit on all the gray tabbies?
Firestar: What do you mean?
Sandstorm: Silverstream was a gray tabby
Firestar: Yeah,
Sandstorm: Millie is also a gray tabby
Firestar: -facepalm- wow
--
Brambleclaw: Squirrelflight is mine, Ashfur!
Ashfur: Nu-uh! She is mine.
Brambleclaw: No
Ashfur: Yes
Brambleclaw: No
Ashfur: Yes
*Stormfur sitting across the clearing watching*
Stormfur: -sigh- So much incest going on these days…
--
Jaypaw: -goes into random cat's dreams- Hm..I need to find an interesting one. –Stops above Leafpool- I wonder…
*Voices coming from a distance in a grassy plateau-
Leafpool: Y-yes, like that! Keep going!
Crowfeather: Are you sure I shouldn't do that thing I did when I got you pregnant? –Looks seductively at Leafpool-
Leafpool: Ohhhh, yes please! –purrs-
Jaypaw: …..O_O sometimes I wish I couldn't see other cat's "Dreams"
Related content
Comments: 316
Jayfeather: -hears caterwauling in the middle of the night- Great StarClan, what was that?
Cinderheart: Don't worry, it's just Ferncloud and Dustpelt...
Jayfeather: And he wonders why he has a bad back.
Bramblepaw: *jumps out of nowhere and lands on top of Firestar*
Firestar: Get off my you great lump
Bramblepaw: You didn't see me coming, did you
Firestar: *springs up and flings Bramblepaw into a tree* Bet you didn't see that coming either
Bramblepaw: Ow...
Firestar: Yeah, I thought so
Nightcloud: - I mean, what is your problem?!
Crowfeather: -looks bored- What kind of conversation is this?
Nightcloud: -continues to bitch- I mean come on! You chose me over her but you OBVIOUSLY love her more. You impregnated her with three freaking kits!
Crowfeather: - -_-'' - ...
Nightcloud: And how many kits did you give me?! One! ONE? COME ON- ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME CROWFEATHER?!
Crowfeather: -is snoring softly-
Nightcloud: Crowfeather, you will give me more kits whether you like it or not -goes and gets a sharp stick-
X3 Don't get the sharp stick part, though.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't think anyone wants to know what she is going to do to Crowfeather with the stick xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
hmm. *considers* yeah, guess not.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
13, brambleclaw is squirrelflights second cousin and ashfur is her uncle, so yeah, lots of incest xD
HOW?!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Let's see.... Swiftbreeze had Redtail (sandstorm's father) and Leopardfoot (Tigerstar's mother) and then that makes them cousins, making their children second cousins.
As for Ashfur, Brindleface was Sandstorm's mother (apparently, according to Erin Hunter o_o I still find that odd though) and she was also Ashfur's mother, so there you have it xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
CONFUSING! Hmm. Think I get it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Jayfeather: Your fur looks so beautiful in the Moonlight
Cinderheart: -blushes under pelt- Oh Jayfeather.....YOU STUPID PIECE OF FOX-DUNG! I HATE it when you do that!
Jayfeather: -grins-
XD!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I love doing that sort of thing xD
For instance I have a skype (it's a chatting program if you didn't know) and my friend will always be like, "Wolfy, can you hear me?" on the call and I will type 'No.' xD She always yells at me for it too
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
:3 Messing with people is fun.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ikr and this pure gold
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
"You can ride on my stick... that came out wrong" rofl i couldnt stop laughing at that xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
i loved the whole thing but my favorite was the stick one and the wanna hear a joke one
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I have to say, those two were actually the first ones i wronte and I believe I liked them the most as well xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol hahaha it took me a bit to get it, then i was like OHHHH haha that's messed up
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL I TOTALY GET THE FIRESTAR ONE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
oh yea btw i dont really get the third one
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
don't worry, I plan to
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
lol, there SOOOO funneh! XD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very niceXDD *Roll on the ground* Very niceXDD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
...I don't get it...
XD Ohhh, Cinder. 
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
omg that last one 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Jayfeather: Hey, Cinderheart, wanna hear a joke?
Cinderheart: -sits next to Jayfeather eyes wide- SURE!
Jayfeather: ... Firestar.
Cinderheart: -looks disappointed- I don't get it. -Tilts head-
lol, i luffed this one cuz i've never been a Firestar fan.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xD That one is one of my favorites, since Firestar is way overrated. Yeah, he turned into some superhero and now he seems to be immortal. HE'S SO DAMN OLD! DIE ALREADY WTF xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
But... but... Bluestar was like, so old when she died!!! So were the other leaders. It just seems like he's older because we've known him the whole time...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
He is really old though, too xD like all of the cats older than him have died except for a few, including the leaders
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Meh, Dustpelt is, like, OLDER than him. XD And he's still a warrior.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
he is such a MARY SUE!!!!! i was confused how (this may be a spoiler for some people) scourge ripped ALL nine lives from tigerstar, but only took ONE from firestar.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
After a while, everyone is such a mary sue. >.<
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Well that was Tigerstar's fault fot the angling. In the book it sounds like he miscalculated his launch at scourge and on top of that he snuck forward and just sliced his underbelly, so I think that would be kind of hard to repeat
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Brambleclaw's grandparents are Pinestar and Leopardfoot. LEOPARDFOOT'S BROTHER is Patchpelt. Patchpelt was mates with Robinwing once and made Longtail. Then Robinwing was mates with Fuzzypelt and made Frostfur, Brindleface, Dustpelt adn Ravenpaw. Forstfur was mother to Thornclaw, Brighheart, Brackenfur and Cinderpelt. Brindleface and Redtail made Sandstorm and Sandstorm and Firestar made Leafpool and Squirrelflight. NOT INCEST .
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It's incest because Leopardfoot's mother is Swiftbreeze, and in another litter she had redtail. Redtail was Sandstorm's father, and she was Squirrelflights mother. So Redtail would technically be Tigerstar's younger uncle.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
they r too far apart to create incest though. So, really, it doesn't matter.
Leafpool & Crowfeather!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
strange but funny. . . . lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>