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Chapter 9; Gods (Part 2)

Rachel could not get Willow off her mind all day. No one else would make the connection because the thought of a guy turning into a girl was unheard of. But for Rachel, she knew it was possible, she’d been there. Layering away the feminine features of Willow, all Rachel kept coming up with was William. The thing that bugged Rachel the most was that Willow didn’t act anything like William.

“You look troubled,” Evan said as he walked past Rachel in their Statistics class.

Rachel looked up at Evan, her eyes lingering on him for a second. A brain like his would be more than helpful in figuring out her problems. “It’s nothing,” she sighed, deciding that if she was going to figure this out, she’d do it on her own.

The teacher cleared his throat to get the classes attention, “We have a new student joining us today,” he announced, Rachel’s head instantly shot up, “please welcome Willow Kowalski.”

Willow smiled politely to the class before being instructed to find a seat. She scanned the room before smiling and heading for an empty seat near Rachel. Evan’s head turned and watched her as she cautiously walked down the row of desks.

“Hi Rachel,” Willow’s innocent smile was infectious; “I hope you don’t mind if I sit near you.”

Rachel motioned to the empty seat without much care. Even when she was friends with William, he was never exactly polite. Willow spoke so gently and with care, even if William was pretending to be a girl, he’d never be able to act like this.

When the class let out, Willow asked if she could hang out with Rachel during lunch since she still did not know anyone else at school yet. Rachel reluctantly agreed and met up with Andie who greeted Willow in her normal friendly manor.

The girls headed out to meet up with Jessie and Jennifer. It had become a Monday tradition for the four of them to have lunch off campus. Jessie tilted her head as she saw the dark haired girl walking with Rachel and Andie.

“Who’s that?” Jessie asked, sticking a thumb towards Willow.

Andie immediately took the roll of ambassador, “this is Willow,” she announced to her friends, “she’s new but Rachel thought it’d be cool if she could have lunch with us.”

Rachel glanced to Andie, “yeah—I mean, she’s just a junior but she’s nice and all,” she explained, “hope you don’t mind.”

Jessie grinned and stepped over to Willow, “so Rachel finally got herself a groupie.”

“What!?” Rachel raised her voice, “what do you mean groupie?”

Jessie laughed as Willow next to her shrank back a little, “you got yourself a junior fan.”

Rachel shook her head, “she isn’t a fan, just someone I met.”

Jessie grabbed Willow and pulled her forward, “be honest now junior,” she grinned, “do you want to be Rachel’s groupie? It comes with all the perks of getting to hang out with the seniors.”

“I…” Willow stammered, not sure what to say, “If she doesn’t mind.”

Rachel’s head shot towards Jessie and Willow, “what? No!” she quickly spat.

Willow’s shoulders slumped as she deflated. Jessie put an arm around the shorter Willow and pulled her next to you, “look at that Rachel! You broke the poor girl’s heart!”

“Just say yes,” Jennifer chimed up, “she won’t shut up otherwise.”

Rachel waved a hand, “fine.”

“Alright!” Jessie grinned as she pushed Willow towards Rachel, “congrats Junior, you’re now our doormat, get in the car.”

-

Willow and Rachel again found themselves sharing a class in Home Economics, where Jessie introduced Willow as Rachel’s subordinate to Emily. Rachel had shot glances numerous times towards Katie, only to see that she was going out of her way to not look in the direction of Rachel’s group.

Rachel walked home after school, as she was without a ride with Andie and her friends playing Basketball and Allison involved with cheerleading as the mascot. When Rachel arrived outside her house, she stared at the door for a moment before walking past it heading further towards the edge of town.

After a lengthy walk, Rachel arrived outside a house. She walked up to the door and stared at the name on it. ‘Montgomery’. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. There was a moment of silence; Rachel held her breath as she waited to see if Willow would open the door. She rang the bell again.

“I’m coming” a female voice called from inside. The door opened and there stood William’s mother, “yes?”

Rachel hesitated, “is Willow here?”

William’s mother narrowed her eyes, “who?”

“I mean, William…?” Rachel hastily added.

The woman frowned and partially closed the door, “Is this some kind of joke?” she snapped, “It’s all over the news, just go away.”

Rachel immediately turned around and began to walk home. She could not deny things any further. Willow Kowalski was not William. Rachel had to accept the fact that Katie was right again and that she had let her paranoia get the better of her and make her jump to conclusions.

-

Rachel continued to keep an eye on Willow as the week went on, which was not hard since they shared three classes together and on breaks and lunches Willow was always hanging around Rachel. None of William’s personality traits were present within Willow what so ever. Rachel couldn’t deny physical similarities between the two; black hair, pasty skin, brown eyes, even a similarly squarish jaw, but without concrete evidence, there was no way for Rachel to confirm her theory.

All week Rachel had gotten no where with finding anything that she could use as evidence. She sighed as she pulled her gym clothes out of her locker. As Rachel began to change her shirt and bra for class, a voice called to her. She immediately spun and grabbed her P.E. shirt to hold in front of her.

Willow blinked in confusion, “what’s wrong?” she tilted her head. Her locker was a little bit away from Rachel’s. Willow must have been in the middle of changing as she wore just a lacey floral bra with her gym shorts.

“N-nothing…” Rachel sighed as she turned away from Willow for a moment to put on her sports bra.

“I wanted to give you something,” she smiled and held out her hand, “it’s a friendship bracelet, I know its kind of childish but it’s something fun I like to do in my spare time.”

“Uh, thanks,” Rachel accepted the little bracelet made out of small rubber bands, “you couldn’t have waited until we were dressed?”

“I didn’t want to forget,” Willow rubbed the side of her head sheepishly before turning to head back to her locker.

Rachel rolled her eyes. As her eyes landed on Willow’s back, she saw a mark. It was a scar. A scar William had gotten in the seventh grade while trying to walk on top of a fence. Rachel’s hand trembled as she stared at Willow’s back as she turned the corner towards her own locker. The bracelet fell to the floor.

Rachel quickly rushed after Willow. She slammed her palm against the locker next to Willow, who was already in the process of changing her bra for class.

Willow turned around in surprise with a small yip, now topless, “Rachel!” she whimpered, “you scared me.”

“What the hell happened to you William?” Rachel said sternly, looking Willow in the eyes.

“Who’s William?” Willow blinked, clearly oblivious.

“That scar on your back,” Rachel began to look down but caught sight of Willow’s small breasts. She quickly raised her eyes back towards the ceiling, “where’d you get it?”

“Scar on my back?” Willow blinked, turning some to try to reach around her back to touch what Rachel was referring to, “I honestly don’t remember having a scar.”

Rachel lowered her eyes so that she could see the scar. It was definitively the same scar William had. She knew for sure now. This was William Montgomery.

Willow turned back towards Rachel, who quickly shot her eyes away from her bare chest, “sometimes things happen and you just can’t remember,” she smiled, “It must be where I can’t see it in the mirror either because I don’t remember seeing it.”

Rachel forced herself to bring her gaze back to Willow’s face, “you don’t remember getting that scar?” she asked with a serious tone. Willow just shook her head. “Ryan Hawke, Brian Parker? Walking home from school trying to walk on a fence, you fell, gashed open your back and needed stitches?”

Willow again just shook her head, “I’ve always been home schooled,” she reminded Rachel, “Do you mean Brian your friend from Monday? And I don’t know a Ryan.”

Rachel bit her lip as she stared down Willow’s eyes, “We were friends all through junior high, until you said I betrayed you just because I joined sports teams and Brian took my side,” Rachel growled at Willow, “you started hating Brian and I after that.”

“What are you talking about?” Willow began to have a concerned look on her face, “I only just met you on Monday.”

“All year you’ve tried to say I was Ryan, sneaking around, coming up with crackpot theories,” Rachel leaned closer to Willow, “until last week when you took it too far and got yourself in way too deep.”

Willow shrank back from Rachel, “you’re scaring me Rachel…” she cried.

Rachel kept her eyes locked on Willow, breathing through her nose as she kept her teeth clenched. She knew if this was William Montgomery, he wasn’t in there any more.

Rachel forced a smile on to her face as she patted Willow on the back, “I’m just screwing with you!” she gave a half hearted fake laugh as a look of cautious relief came across Willow’s face, “I just wanted to see how far I could push you, you did good!”

“Th-thank you…” Willow whimpered her voice still a little shaky although she was looking comfortable again with Rachel.

-

Rachel let out a breath. She raised her gaze to look over the Gregory Estate; she knew that whatever happened to William had to have happened in here. Regardless of her past failure to find anything to explain what happened, she was going to tear the place apart until she found something.

Rachel approached the large wrought iron gate. She gripped her flashlight with her right hand and felt down at her side, she had brought her mother’s taser with her to use as protection. Before she could even get to it, she saw it was open enough for a person to get through. She swallowed and entered through the gate, pushing it closed behind her. She turned on her flashlight and raised it towards the front door.

To Rachel’s surprise, as she neared the door, she noticed that it too was ajar. She glanced back towards the gate; it was not too late for her to retreat. Rachel shook her head, she had to find out what caused all this, who caused all this, and she knew, they were waiting for her.

Rachel slowly entered the house, pushing the squeaky door closed behind her. “I’m here!” She called out, “I know you’re waiting for me!”

As she shined her flashlight about, she practically jumped out of her skin when standing no less than ten feet from her was a large man. He was over a foot taller than Rachel. He wore a white coat down to his knees. The man’s face was obscured by a surgical mask and night-vision goggles.

Rachel and the man both stood motionless for what seemed like an hour. Finally he turned slightly to the side, and with a blue gloved hand, he motioned towards the stairs that lead to the basement. Rachel lowered her flashlight off of the man back to the floor and began to walk towards him. She took each step very cautiously, watching the large man as she did so.

Rachel finally realized that she had to go first down the stairs as the man remained still as she neared the stairs. As Rachel turned and looked down the stairs, the man suddenly grabbed her from behind. She struggled momentarily only to be released by the man. She spun around and grabbed for her taser. It was gone. She looked down at her side, then back to the man. He was quickly disassembling her only means of protection right in front of her.

Rachel sighed and turned back around, starting down the stairs. Part way down the stairs, she realized they were not going in the same direction as the last time she was here. Last time there had been a bend in them, they circled around, and this flight of stairs was straight. Rachel got to the bottom of the steps; in front of her was an ornate door.

Rachel glanced behind her at the large man, who stood behind her clearly intending to block her way out. Rachel shrugged and opened the door. She was blinded by the sudden light that poured out of the room. While Rachel struggled to see, she was grabbed from behind by the man, pinning her arms to her side. As the man lifted her off the ground, Rachel tried to break free from his grip, kicking her legs wildly.

A rag covered Rachel’s face and she instantly lost her energy. Although she remained conscious, she felt completely unable to move her body, becoming a complete limp noodle. She was set in to a chair, her head dropping forward. She could see out of the corner of her eye, the blurry shape of the man moving her arms on the chair and strapping them to it. The man kneeled and proceeded to strap Rachel’s legs together and to the chair as well.

Rachel was slowly beginning to regain feeling in her body. She was finally able to raise her head a little as her vision cleared. The room she was in was completely white, a medical lab. Computers lined the walls, tubes filled with various colored liquids, wires, monitors. Rachel cleared her throat, she finally was feeling completely alert again, “Help!” She yelled out as loud as she could.

“Stop,” The man spoke sharply as he stepped from behind Rachel. Rachel was finally able to get a good look at the man, although he still wore his surgical mask, she could now see his eyes which were behind a pair of thin round glasses. Although she didn’t know what she was expecting, she was surprised the man also had graying short hair with a bald area on the top of his head. “Mother doesn’t like it when they are loud.”

Rachel was suddenly left silent. The man was tall, but was not nearly as bulky as she had thought, and his voice, was surprisingly soft spoken. “What do you want with me?!” Rachel spat at him suddenly.

The man’s face turned angry, “I said quiet!” he growled as he raised his blue gloved hand in the air preparing to backhand Rachel.

“Father, that’s enough,” another voice came from behind Rachel. Rachel tried to turn her head to see who had spoken, but was restrained by the chair she was in, “We don’t want our guest unhappy.”

A tall woman stepped in front of Rachel’s turned head. Pressing her fingers firmly into Rachel’s jaw, she raised Rachel’s head upward so that they would be looking each in the eye. The woman also wore a white lab coat; she had a very angular face draped in long black hair. The only bit of color to her was the extremely bright red lipstick she wore.

The woman finally let go of Rachel’s jaw and stepped around her, nodding to the man. Rachel watched the man out of the corner of her eye as he moved some machines around. He walked back over and stuck something on to Rachel’s temple. She tried to pull away as he reached around and stuck another to the other side of her head, but was unsuccessful.

“Who are you?” Rachel growled, trying to move her head to get the sticky things off of the sides of her head.

The woman raised an eyebrow in amusement, “You’re such a clever girl, I thought you might have figured it out,” she said with a small laugh, “I’m Creation, but you can just call me Mother.”

Rachel sneered at the almost loving tone that the women spoke with, “What are you doing to people down here?”

The woman waved a hand dismissingly, “humans are an imperfect creature,” she smiled, “we’ve found a way to make them better, stronger, more resilient.”

Rachel narrowed her eyes, “stronger?” she began to put pieces together, “it’s because of you that I am so strong even though I’m a girl?”

“Oh yes,” the woman smiled, “thanks to us, you are now a peak physical specimen, a perfect soldier.”

“Soldier!?” Ryan raised her voice, causing the woman to flinch a little in agitation, “if you wanted soldiers, why turn guys in to girls?”

The woman smiled and tilted her head, “we had to make sure we could properly restructure people’s genes,” she explained, “and it seems young boys were the only ones making themselves available.”

Rachel blinked, processing what she was just told, “so turning me in to a girl…” Rachel mumbled, “Taking away my life…”

“WAS SIMPLY TO SEE IF YOU COULD!?” Rachel screamed as she began struggling against the straps of the chair, wanting nothing more than to get her hands around the woman’s throat.

“Quiet!” the woman raised her voice momentarily, before quickly composing herself, “you don’t want us to have to calm you down again, do you?”

Rachel quit struggling, glaring daggers at the woman, “you can’t just play god with people’s lives.”

“Oh, dear girl,” the woman smiled darkly, taking some steps closer to Rachel, “we aren’t playing anything.”

Rachel stared at the woman, a shiver running up her spine. She lowered her head just so she wouldn’t have to look at the woman any more, “what did you do to William?”

The woman turned and stepped away from Rachel, “Ah yes, little Willow did turn out quite nicely did she not?” the woman said gleefully, “she’s such a sweet girl.”

“What did you do to William…?” Rachel growled.

“Well he was no good to us how he was,” the woman smirked, “he gave us the perfect vessel to test our newest project. When you get a house, you can touch up the outside, make it beautiful, but if the inside is a complete mess, sometimes you need to rebuild that house, brick by brick.”

“So you just erased him…?” Rachel tried to speak around the lump in her throat, “you killed him.”

“Oh goodness no,” the woman chuckled, “we made him better, made him in to a decent person.”

“Is that what you’re going to do to me…?” Rachel croaked, “Are you going to erase me too?”

The woman frowned, “well, there in lies the tricky part…” she spoke with a less happy tone, “reworking the human brain, its not as simple as we’d like, a person’s mind must be weak, conflicted, easily malleable, you’ve curiously remained quite resilient thus far.”

“…thus far?” Rachel narrowed her eyes.

The woman shrugged as her smile returned to her this face, “You don’t think we’ve been having this fun chat for nothing, do you?” The woman walked up to Rachel and placed a hand on her shoulder, turning the chair easily so that it faced the monitors behind her.

Rachel’s eyes widened. The man was at a keyboard entering things as a dozen monitors all had different things happening on them. Rachel realized that they were watching her brain activity this entire time, trying to get in. Rachel immediately began struggling at the bindings on the chair again.

“Relax child,” The woman patted Rachel on the head, “we will have to finish up another time when you are a little more willing.”

“So… you’re letting me go…?” Rachel blinked, a bit surprised.

“I guess that is one way of putting it,” the woman smiled back.

“And what’s going to keep me from coming back here with the cops and arresting you?” Rachel grinned confidently at the woman.

The woman rolled her eyes in bemusement, “because William Montgomery was successfully taken in to captivity,” she remarked, “was he not?”

Rachel hesitated. She was right, William was arrested, but Willow was at school Monday. “You control the cops?”

“Ohoh that would be something,” the women laughed, “but just know, we are far more powerful than you can imagine.”

Rachel lowered her gaze in defeat; she had no more cards left to play. Rachel glanced up, “I’ve got one more question.”

“Hm?” the woman turned her head curiously.

“Brian,” Rachel spat, “what did you do to him so that he can change?”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “Brian?” She exchanged a glance with the man who opened a drawer of files. The woman opened the file the man handed to her, looking at it curiously, “he survived, did he?”

“Survived?” Rachel asked in confusion.

“Not everyone’s body can handle having their genes reworked,” the woman explained, “Mr. Parker’s body was unstable, and so we left him expecting his body to fail shortly after.”

“His body is going to fail…?” Rachel felt ill at the idea.

“We’ve never had an unstable patient last more than a couple days,” she scratched her chin, “I’d quite like to get a look at Brian, take a look at what’s happening in there.”

“Brian will never come back here,” Rachel snarled, “I’ll make sure of that.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “well, I guess we will just have to make sure you have a reason to come back,” she explained.

“What are you going to do…?” Rachel bit her lip.

The woman smiled and picked up a syringe. She raised it in front of her as she stepped towards Rachel, “I don’t quite know,” she laughed, “I guess we will just have to go in and see what we can play with.”

Rachel quickly began to struggle against the straps of the chair again but found it no use as the woman stuck the needle in to Rachel’s arm. She trembled as she watched the liquid drain in to her arm.

-

A knock came at Rachel’s door, “Rachel dear, time to get up,” Rebecca called from outside.

Rachel stretched her arms and sat up in bed, “I’m up” she groaned as she looked at her clock, “oh no!” She quickly hopped out of bed, having slept far later than she had intended to.

She hastily opened up her closet and began looking through tops. Winter formal was coming up soon and she was hoping Travis would ask her to go with him. She finally settled on a red long sleeved top, the plunging neckline on it would show off her cleavage nicely. She started to go through her jeans before realizing that those just would not do.

Rachel found a black denim skirt that’d go perfectly with the top, but she knew she’d be freezing so she also got some white leggings to go with them. She stared at her shoes for a moment before finally deciding on a pair of boots that’d go partly up her calf. The small heels on the boots would help her show off her butt some too. She carefully applied her make up and brushed her hair before rushing down to the kitchen.

“Hurry up or you’ll be late,” Rebecca said to Rachel, suggesting to the breakfast table where Brett was eating.

“Dieting today,” Rachel said quickly as she only grabbed a bagel. Rachel’s head turned as the doorbell rang, “bye mom!” she gave her mom a small kiss on the cheek before rushing to the door.

“Hey Jessie!” Rachel said as she went through the door to see her blonde friend.

“Wow,” Jessie smirked, “someone is all dolled up today.”

“Do you like it?” Rachel blushed a little as she turned some, “you think Travis will notice?”

Jessie laughed, “I think everyone will notice.”

The two girls arrived at school and headed in to the hallway. Rachel felt more and more confident as she could sense boy’s heads turning as she walked by.

“Hey Rachel,” Travis said as he walked up along with JD, “you look really good today.”

“Thanks,” Rachel blushed, biting her lip a little.

“I was just wondering,” Travis stammered, being elbowed a little by JD, “would you be interested in going to the formal with me?”

Rachel’s heart skipped a beat. She grinned at Travis, “well, I don’t know,” she teased until Jessie cleared her throat, “I’d love to” she beamed as she wrapped her arms around Travis’ midsection. She was so excited, she was already imagining what kind of dress she was going to get.

-

Rachel’s eyes shot open. She quickly got to a sitting position and looked down at herself. She was wearing the same red shirt and blue jeans she had been wearing when she went to the house Friday night. She slowly got to her feet, a little shaky like she was when she first woke up as a girl. Looking around, she realized she was lying out on the grass in front of the high school.

“My name is Ryan Hawke,” Rachel murmured, reassuring herself that they did not do the same thing to her that they had done to William. She sighed and fell to a sitting position. It was Saturday morning; she had been gone all night. She leaned her head back, staring upwards at the overcast clouds.

Rachel remained sitting on the grass, looking upward as rain drops began to fall on her face. It was not long until the darkening clouds drenched everything below. A car driving by pulled over; the car reversed back up to where Rachel sat on the grass.

“Rachel!?” a voice called out from the car. Rachel ignored the call and remained lost in the clouds. The door of the car closed as footsteps hurried over to her.

An umbrella blocked Rachel’s view, “Rachel are you okay?” the voice asked. After another moment of silence the person put an arm around Rachel and pulled her to her feet, “Let’s get you home.”

Rachel tilted her head to look at Travis, her wet body now held closely to his under the umbrella. Her face suddenly felt flush as her heart began to race a little bit.

“What were you doing just sitting in the rain?” Travis asked concerned.

Rachel stared at Travis, her stomach knotting up as she stood closely to him with his arm around her. Her eyes widened as she pushed Travis away. “Leave me alone!” Rachel yelled as she began to run down the street.

“Rachel!” Travis called after her, “wait!”

Rachel did not turn back or slow her pace. She continued to run through the rain until she again stood outside the dilapidated Gregory House. As she stepped closer to the gates, she found herself completely unable to keep going.

A sudden terror had built up inside of her, one she had never felt before. She tried to take another step toward the house but found her body absolutely refusing to do so. Rachel hung her head and looked at her hands, they were trembling. Rachel clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, forcing herself to step towards the gates. Her mind was screaming at her to stop, her body fighting her, she finally reached out and grabbed hold of the iron gate.

Shaking uncontrollably she pushed at the gate. The gate didn’t budge, it was locked. Rachel screamed in anguish as her legs gave way and her hands slid down the gate as she came to a kneeling position in front of the gate. She dropped her head, tears rolling down her already wet cheeks.

She slowly got to her feet, walking away from the gates of the Gregory Estate. With each step she took the fear that the old house had instilled in her eased away. With tears still rolling down her cheeks, Rachel was realizing that she was no longer the same person that she was the night before.

Rachel drug her feet down the wet sidewalk. She stopped and looked across the street. She was a hundred feet from her front door. She turned her head sharply in disgust; she did not want her mom or brother to see her like this. She continued down the street.

Rachel decided there was one place she could go where she’d be able to find a way to feel like her old self again, one person that could help her feel like a guy and, she hoped, undo the damage done. She slowly walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

Allison opened the door. Her smiling face turned to that of shock when she got a look at Rachel, “holy shit, what happened to you?” Allison ushered Rachel inside and gave her a towel to wrap herself in.

Allison quickly led Rachel to her room, “let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she instructed as she gave Rachel a pair of pajama pants and a loose fitting t-shirt out of her closet, “I’ll go make something warm to drink and you change.”

Rachel stripped off her wet shirt and bra, frowning as she looked down at her breasts. She tossed the shirt over her head and proceeded to strip off her completely soaked denim jeans and her underwear. She put on Allison’s clothes and sat with a sigh on the edge of Allison’s bed as she instantly felt better being out of the wet clothes.

Allison returned with two mugs of hot chocolate and gave one to Rachel as she sat next to her. “What’s going on?” Allison asked with concern.

Rachel stared down at her cup for a moment before finally taking a sip, “I…” she struggled to get the words out she wanted, “I need to figure out who I am…”

Allison raised an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

Rachel bit her lip, “you told me once that if I ever wanted to try…” she mumbled into her hot chocolate, “to come to you…”

Allison was taken aback. She was both elated and dismayed by the words coming out of Rachel’s mouth, “are you sure?”

Rachel continued staring at her hot chocolate; “yeah…” she nodded slightly.

Allison lowered her gaze as she considered what her friend was saying, “I’d be worried it might hurt our friendship if things didn’t go well.”

Rachel raised her head to look over to Allison. She placed a hand on her leg, “regardless of how this turns out be assured that it wont effect our friendship.”

Allison smiled to Rachel, “so what do you want to do?” she asked, “y’know, at first.”

“I want to do as much as we can,” Rachel said with a serious face.

“What?” Allison looked surprised, “are you sure?”

Rachel nodded, “I need to know for sure.”

“O-okay,” Allison said, blushing a little, “I’ll just keep going until you tell me to stop?”

Rachel nodded slightly.

Allison scooted up next to Rachel and looked her straight in the eyes. She still wondered if it was really a good idea to fulfill Rachel’s request, given her questionable emotional stability. She bit her lip as Rachel closed her eyes and leaned forward a little. Pushing the questions out of her head, Allison tilted her head and leaned forward.

Allison kissed Rachel for a moment before breaking it off; she frowned at Rachel, “Rachel…”

Rachel shook her head, “no,” she muttered, “I want to do this.” She leaned forward putting her lips back to Allison’s.

As the two girls kissed, Rachel kept her hands at her side. Noticing Rachel’s stiffness, Allison gently took one of Rachel’s hands and moved it up inside of her shirt so that Rachel’s hand was now on her breast.

Rachel blinked a little in surprise as Allison was encouraging Rachel to feel her up. Rachel closed her eyes again as they continued to kiss. Allison took the initiative and tickled her fingers up Rachel’s side until she began to trace around Rachel’s breast.

Rachel was shocked to find that the arousal she had been lacking was now in full force. She began kissing more enthusiastically, thoroughly enjoying the feelings. She opened her eyes slightly to see Travis opposite her kissing her.

Rachel’s eyes shot open and she quickly pulled away from Allison, “No!” she cried out.

“Rachel!” Allison was concerned, “what’s wrong?”

Rachel stared at Allison for a second, before sighing and hanging her head, “it’s just,” she mumbled, “I didn’t feel anything…”

“Nothing?” Allison slumped her shoulders, “not even at the end?”

“Only because…” Rachel bit her lip, “because I imagined you as Travis…”

Allison nodded as she lay on her bed with her hands behind her head, “well you’re not gay, congrats,” she forced a smile, “you’re just a normal straight girl.”

“Yeah…” Rachel sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek, “normal…”

Description
Chapter 9; Gods (Part 2)

Rachel could not get Willow off her mind all day. No one else would make the connection because the thought of a guy turning into a girl was unheard of. But for Rachel, she knew it was possible, she’d been there. Layering away the feminine features of Willow, all Rachel kept coming up with was William. The thing that bugged Rachel the most was that Willow didn’t act anything like William.

“You look troubled,” Evan said as he walked past Rachel in their Statistics class.

Rachel looked up at Evan, her eyes lingering on him for a second. A brain like his would be more than helpful in figuring out her problems. “It’s nothing,” she sighed, deciding that if she was going to figure this out, she’d do it on her own.

The teacher cleared his throat to get the classes attention, “We have a new student joining us today,” he announced, Rachel’s head instantly shot up, “please welcome Willow Kowalski.”

Willow smiled politely to the class before being instructed to find a seat. She scanned the room before smiling and heading for an empty seat near Rachel. Evan’s head turned and watched her as she cautiously walked down the row of desks.

“Hi Rachel,” Willow’s innocent smile was infectious; “I hope you don’t mind if I sit near you.”

Rachel motioned to the empty seat without much care. Even when she was friends with William, he was never exactly polite. Willow spoke so gently and with care, even if William was pretending to be a girl, he’d never be able to act like this.

When the class let out, Willow asked if she could hang out with Rachel during lunch since she still did not know anyone else at school yet. Rachel reluctantly agreed and met up with Andie who greeted Willow in her normal friendly manor.

The girls headed out to meet up with Jessie and Jennifer. It had become a Monday tradition for the four of them to have lunch off campus. Jessie tilted her head as she saw the dark haired girl walking with Rachel and Andie.

“Who’s that?” Jessie asked, sticking a thumb towards Willow.

Andie immediately took the roll of ambassador, “this is Willow,” she announced to her friends, “she’s new but Rachel thought it’d be cool if she could have lunch with us.”

Rachel glanced to Andie, “yeah—I mean, she’s just a junior but she’s nice and all,” she explained, “hope you don’t mind.”

Jessie grinned and stepped over to Willow, “so Rachel finally got herself a groupie.”

“What!?” Rachel raised her voice, “what do you mean groupie?”

Jessie laughed as Willow next to her shrank back a little, “you got yourself a junior fan.”

Rachel shook her head, “she isn’t a fan, just someone I met.”

Jessie grabbed Willow and pulled her forward, “be honest now junior,” she grinned, “do you want to be Rachel’s groupie? It comes with all the perks of getting to hang out with the seniors.”

“I…” Willow stammered, not sure what to say, “If she doesn’t mind.”

Rachel’s head shot towards Jessie and Willow, “what? No!” she quickly spat.

Willow’s shoulders slumped as she deflated. Jessie put an arm around the shorter Willow and pulled her next to you, “look at that Rachel! You broke the poor girl’s heart!”

“Just say yes,” Jennifer chimed up, “she won’t shut up otherwise.”

Rachel waved a hand, “fine.”

“Alright!” Jessie grinned as she pushed Willow towards Rachel, “congrats Junior, you’re now our doormat, get in the car.”

-

Willow and Rachel again found themselves sharing a class in Home Economics, where Jessie introduced Willow as Rachel’s subordinate to Emily. Rachel had shot glances numerous times towards Katie, only to see that she was going out of her way to not look in the direction of Rachel’s group.

Rachel walked home after school, as she was without a ride with Andie and her friends playing Basketball and Allison involved with cheerleading as the mascot. When Rachel arrived outside her house, she stared at the door for a moment before walking past it heading further towards the edge of town.

After a lengthy walk, Rachel arrived outside a house. She walked up to the door and stared at the name on it. ‘Montgomery’. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. There was a moment of silence; Rachel held her breath as she waited to see if Willow would open the door. She rang the bell again.

“I’m coming” a female voice called from inside. The door opened and there stood William’s mother, “yes?”

Rachel hesitated, “is Willow here?”

William’s mother narrowed her eyes, “who?”

“I mean, William…?” Rachel hastily added.

The woman frowned and partially closed the door, “Is this some kind of joke?” she snapped, “It’s all over the news, just go away.”

Rachel immediately turned around and began to walk home. She could not deny things any further. Willow Kowalski was not William. Rachel had to accept the fact that Katie was right again and that she had let her paranoia get the better of her and make her jump to conclusions.

-

Rachel continued to keep an eye on Willow as the week went on, which was not hard since they shared three classes together and on breaks and lunches Willow was always hanging around Rachel. None of William’s personality traits were present within Willow what so ever. Rachel couldn’t deny physical similarities between the two; black hair, pasty skin, brown eyes, even a similarly squarish jaw, but without concrete evidence, there was no way for Rachel to confirm her theory.

All week Rachel had gotten no where with finding anything that she could use as evidence. She sighed as she pulled her gym clothes out of her locker. As Rachel began to change her shirt and bra for class, a voice called to her. She immediately spun and grabbed her P.E. shirt to hold in front of her.

Willow blinked in confusion, “what’s wrong?” she tilted her head. Her locker was a little bit away from Rachel’s. Willow must have been in the middle of changing as she wore just a lacey floral bra with her gym shorts.

“N-nothing…” Rachel sighed as she turned away from Willow for a moment to put on her sports bra.

“I wanted to give you something,” she smiled and held out her hand, “it’s a friendship bracelet, I know its kind of childish but it’s something fun I like to do in my spare time.”

“Uh, thanks,” Rachel accepted the little bracelet made out of small rubber bands, “you couldn’t have waited until we were dressed?”

“I didn’t want to forget,” Willow rubbed the side of her head sheepishly before turning to head back to her locker.

Rachel rolled her eyes. As her eyes landed on Willow’s back, she saw a mark. It was a scar. A scar William had gotten in the seventh grade while trying to walk on top of a fence. Rachel’s hand trembled as she stared at Willow’s back as she turned the corner towards her own locker. The bracelet fell to the floor.

Rachel quickly rushed after Willow. She slammed her palm against the locker next to Willow, who was already in the process of changing her bra for class.

Willow turned around in surprise with a small yip, now topless, “Rachel!” she whimpered, “you scared me.”

“What the hell happened to you William?” Rachel said sternly, looking Willow in the eyes.

“Who’s William?” Willow blinked, clearly oblivious.

“That scar on your back,” Rachel began to look down but caught sight of Willow’s small breasts. She quickly raised her eyes back towards the ceiling, “where’d you get it?”

“Scar on my back?” Willow blinked, turning some to try to reach around her back to touch what Rachel was referring to, “I honestly don’t remember having a scar.”

Rachel lowered her eyes so that she could see the scar. It was definitively the same scar William had. She knew for sure now. This was William Montgomery.

Willow turned back towards Rachel, who quickly shot her eyes away from her bare chest, “sometimes things happen and you just can’t remember,” she smiled, “It must be where I can’t see it in the mirror either because I don’t remember seeing it.”

Rachel forced herself to bring her gaze back to Willow’s face, “you don’t remember getting that scar?” she asked with a serious tone. Willow just shook her head. “Ryan Hawke, Brian Parker? Walking home from school trying to walk on a fence, you fell, gashed open your back and needed stitches?”

Willow again just shook her head, “I’ve always been home schooled,” she reminded Rachel, “Do you mean Brian your friend from Monday? And I don’t know a Ryan.”

Rachel bit her lip as she stared down Willow’s eyes, “We were friends all through junior high, until you said I betrayed you just because I joined sports teams and Brian took my side,” Rachel growled at Willow, “you started hating Brian and I after that.”

“What are you talking about?” Willow began to have a concerned look on her face, “I only just met you on Monday.”

“All year you’ve tried to say I was Ryan, sneaking around, coming up with crackpot theories,” Rachel leaned closer to Willow, “until last week when you took it too far and got yourself in way too deep.”

Willow shrank back from Rachel, “you’re scaring me Rachel…” she cried.

Rachel kept her eyes locked on Willow, breathing through her nose as she kept her teeth clenched. She knew if this was William Montgomery, he wasn’t in there any more.

Rachel forced a smile on to her face as she patted Willow on the back, “I’m just screwing with you!” she gave a half hearted fake laugh as a look of cautious relief came across Willow’s face, “I just wanted to see how far I could push you, you did good!”

“Th-thank you…” Willow whimpered her voice still a little shaky although she was looking comfortable again with Rachel.

-

Rachel let out a breath. She raised her gaze to look over the Gregory Estate; she knew that whatever happened to William had to have happened in here. Regardless of her past failure to find anything to explain what happened, she was going to tear the place apart until she found something.

Rachel approached the large wrought iron gate. She gripped her flashlight with her right hand and felt down at her side, she had brought her mother’s taser with her to use as protection. Before she could even get to it, she saw it was open enough for a person to get through. She swallowed and entered through the gate, pushing it closed behind her. She turned on her flashlight and raised it towards the front door.

To Rachel’s surprise, as she neared the door, she noticed that it too was ajar. She glanced back towards the gate; it was not too late for her to retreat. Rachel shook her head, she had to find out what caused all this, who caused all this, and she knew, they were waiting for her.

Rachel slowly entered the house, pushing the squeaky door closed behind her. “I’m here!” She called out, “I know you’re waiting for me!”

As she shined her flashlight about, she practically jumped out of her skin when standing no less than ten feet from her was a large man. He was over a foot taller than Rachel. He wore a white coat down to his knees. The man’s face was obscured by a surgical mask and night-vision goggles.

Rachel and the man both stood motionless for what seemed like an hour. Finally he turned slightly to the side, and with a blue gloved hand, he motioned towards the stairs that lead to the basement. Rachel lowered her flashlight off of the man back to the floor and began to walk towards him. She took each step very cautiously, watching the large man as she did so.

Rachel finally realized that she had to go first down the stairs as the man remained still as she neared the stairs. As Rachel turned and looked down the stairs, the man suddenly grabbed her from behind. She struggled momentarily only to be released by the man. She spun around and grabbed for her taser. It was gone. She looked down at her side, then back to the man. He was quickly disassembling her only means of protection right in front of her.

Rachel sighed and turned back around, starting down the stairs. Part way down the stairs, she realized they were not going in the same direction as the last time she was here. Last time there had been a bend in them, they circled around, and this flight of stairs was straight. Rachel got to the bottom of the steps; in front of her was an ornate door.

Rachel glanced behind her at the large man, who stood behind her clearly intending to block her way out. Rachel shrugged and opened the door. She was blinded by the sudden light that poured out of the room. While Rachel struggled to see, she was grabbed from behind by the man, pinning her arms to her side. As the man lifted her off the ground, Rachel tried to break free from his grip, kicking her legs wildly.

A rag covered Rachel’s face and she instantly lost her energy. Although she remained conscious, she felt completely unable to move her body, becoming a complete limp noodle. She was set in to a chair, her head dropping forward. She could see out of the corner of her eye, the blurry shape of the man moving her arms on the chair and strapping them to it. The man kneeled and proceeded to strap Rachel’s legs together and to the chair as well.

Rachel was slowly beginning to regain feeling in her body. She was finally able to raise her head a little as her vision cleared. The room she was in was completely white, a medical lab. Computers lined the walls, tubes filled with various colored liquids, wires, monitors. Rachel cleared her throat, she finally was feeling completely alert again, “Help!” She yelled out as loud as she could.

“Stop,” The man spoke sharply as he stepped from behind Rachel. Rachel was finally able to get a good look at the man, although he still wore his surgical mask, she could now see his eyes which were behind a pair of thin round glasses. Although she didn’t know what she was expecting, she was surprised the man also had graying short hair with a bald area on the top of his head. “Mother doesn’t like it when they are loud.”

Rachel was suddenly left silent. The man was tall, but was not nearly as bulky as she had thought, and his voice, was surprisingly soft spoken. “What do you want with me?!” Rachel spat at him suddenly.

The man’s face turned angry, “I said quiet!” he growled as he raised his blue gloved hand in the air preparing to backhand Rachel.

“Father, that’s enough,” another voice came from behind Rachel. Rachel tried to turn her head to see who had spoken, but was restrained by the chair she was in, “We don’t want our guest unhappy.”

A tall woman stepped in front of Rachel’s turned head. Pressing her fingers firmly into Rachel’s jaw, she raised Rachel’s head upward so that they would be looking each in the eye. The woman also wore a white lab coat; she had a very angular face draped in long black hair. The only bit of color to her was the extremely bright red lipstick she wore.

The woman finally let go of Rachel’s jaw and stepped around her, nodding to the man. Rachel watched the man out of the corner of her eye as he moved some machines around. He walked back over and stuck something on to Rachel’s temple. She tried to pull away as he reached around and stuck another to the other side of her head, but was unsuccessful.

“Who are you?” Rachel growled, trying to move her head to get the sticky things off of the sides of her head.

The woman raised an eyebrow in amusement, “You’re such a clever girl, I thought you might have figured it out,” she said with a small laugh, “I’m Creation, but you can just call me Mother.”

Rachel sneered at the almost loving tone that the women spoke with, “What are you doing to people down here?”

The woman waved a hand dismissingly, “humans are an imperfect creature,” she smiled, “we’ve found a way to make them better, stronger, more resilient.”

Rachel narrowed her eyes, “stronger?” she began to put pieces together, “it’s because of you that I am so strong even though I’m a girl?”

“Oh yes,” the woman smiled, “thanks to us, you are now a peak physical specimen, a perfect soldier.”

“Soldier!?” Ryan raised her voice, causing the woman to flinch a little in agitation, “if you wanted soldiers, why turn guys in to girls?”

The woman smiled and tilted her head, “we had to make sure we could properly restructure people’s genes,” she explained, “and it seems young boys were the only ones making themselves available.”

Rachel blinked, processing what she was just told, “so turning me in to a girl…” Rachel mumbled, “Taking away my life…”

“WAS SIMPLY TO SEE IF YOU COULD!?” Rachel screamed as she began struggling against the straps of the chair, wanting nothing more than to get her hands around the woman’s throat.

“Quiet!” the woman raised her voice momentarily, before quickly composing herself, “you don’t want us to have to calm you down again, do you?”

Rachel quit struggling, glaring daggers at the woman, “you can’t just play god with people’s lives.”

“Oh, dear girl,” the woman smiled darkly, taking some steps closer to Rachel, “we aren’t playing anything.”

Rachel stared at the woman, a shiver running up her spine. She lowered her head just so she wouldn’t have to look at the woman any more, “what did you do to William?”

The woman turned and stepped away from Rachel, “Ah yes, little Willow did turn out quite nicely did she not?” the woman said gleefully, “she’s such a sweet girl.”

“What did you do to William…?” Rachel growled.

“Well he was no good to us how he was,” the woman smirked, “he gave us the perfect vessel to test our newest project. When you get a house, you can touch up the outside, make it beautiful, but if the inside is a complete mess, sometimes you need to rebuild that house, brick by brick.”

“So you just erased him…?” Rachel tried to speak around the lump in her throat, “you killed him.”

“Oh goodness no,” the woman chuckled, “we made him better, made him in to a decent person.”

“Is that what you’re going to do to me…?” Rachel croaked, “Are you going to erase me too?”

The woman frowned, “well, there in lies the tricky part…” she spoke with a less happy tone, “reworking the human brain, its not as simple as we’d like, a person’s mind must be weak, conflicted, easily malleable, you’ve curiously remained quite resilient thus far.”

“…thus far?” Rachel narrowed her eyes.

The woman shrugged as her smile returned to her this face, “You don’t think we’ve been having this fun chat for nothing, do you?” The woman walked up to Rachel and placed a hand on her shoulder, turning the chair easily so that it faced the monitors behind her.

Rachel’s eyes widened. The man was at a keyboard entering things as a dozen monitors all had different things happening on them. Rachel realized that they were watching her brain activity this entire time, trying to get in. Rachel immediately began struggling at the bindings on the chair again.

“Relax child,” The woman patted Rachel on the head, “we will have to finish up another time when you are a little more willing.”

“So… you’re letting me go…?” Rachel blinked, a bit surprised.

“I guess that is one way of putting it,” the woman smiled back.

“And what’s going to keep me from coming back here with the cops and arresting you?” Rachel grinned confidently at the woman.

The woman rolled her eyes in bemusement, “because William Montgomery was successfully taken in to captivity,” she remarked, “was he not?”

Rachel hesitated. She was right, William was arrested, but Willow was at school Monday. “You control the cops?”

“Ohoh that would be something,” the women laughed, “but just know, we are far more powerful than you can imagine.”

Rachel lowered her gaze in defeat; she had no more cards left to play. Rachel glanced up, “I’ve got one more question.”

“Hm?” the woman turned her head curiously.

“Brian,” Rachel spat, “what did you do to him so that he can change?”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “Brian?” She exchanged a glance with the man who opened a drawer of files. The woman opened the file the man handed to her, looking at it curiously, “he survived, did he?”

“Survived?” Rachel asked in confusion.

“Not everyone’s body can handle having their genes reworked,” the woman explained, “Mr. Parker’s body was unstable, and so we left him expecting his body to fail shortly after.”

“His body is going to fail…?” Rachel felt ill at the idea.

“We’ve never had an unstable patient last more than a couple days,” she scratched her chin, “I’d quite like to get a look at Brian, take a look at what’s happening in there.”

“Brian will never come back here,” Rachel snarled, “I’ll make sure of that.”

The woman raised an eyebrow, “well, I guess we will just have to make sure you have a reason to come back,” she explained.

“What are you going to do…?” Rachel bit her lip.

The woman smiled and picked up a syringe. She raised it in front of her as she stepped towards Rachel, “I don’t quite know,” she laughed, “I guess we will just have to go in and see what we can play with.”

Rachel quickly began to struggle against the straps of the chair again but found it no use as the woman stuck the needle in to Rachel’s arm. She trembled as she watched the liquid drain in to her arm.

-

A knock came at Rachel’s door, “Rachel dear, time to get up,” Rebecca called from outside.

Rachel stretched her arms and sat up in bed, “I’m up” she groaned as she looked at her clock, “oh no!” She quickly hopped out of bed, having slept far later than she had intended to.

She hastily opened up her closet and began looking through tops. Winter formal was coming up soon and she was hoping Travis would ask her to go with him. She finally settled on a red long sleeved top, the plunging neckline on it would show off her cleavage nicely. She started to go through her jeans before realizing that those just would not do.

Rachel found a black denim skirt that’d go perfectly with the top, but she knew she’d be freezing so she also got some white leggings to go with them. She stared at her shoes for a moment before finally deciding on a pair of boots that’d go partly up her calf. The small heels on the boots would help her show off her butt some too. She carefully applied her make up and brushed her hair before rushing down to the kitchen.

“Hurry up or you’ll be late,” Rebecca said to Rachel, suggesting to the breakfast table where Brett was eating.

“Dieting today,” Rachel said quickly as she only grabbed a bagel. Rachel’s head turned as the doorbell rang, “bye mom!” she gave her mom a small kiss on the cheek before rushing to the door.

“Hey Jessie!” Rachel said as she went through the door to see her blonde friend.

“Wow,” Jessie smirked, “someone is all dolled up today.”

“Do you like it?” Rachel blushed a little as she turned some, “you think Travis will notice?”

Jessie laughed, “I think everyone will notice.”

The two girls arrived at school and headed in to the hallway. Rachel felt more and more confident as she could sense boy’s heads turning as she walked by.

“Hey Rachel,” Travis said as he walked up along with JD, “you look really good today.”

“Thanks,” Rachel blushed, biting her lip a little.

“I was just wondering,” Travis stammered, being elbowed a little by JD, “would you be interested in going to the formal with me?”

Rachel’s heart skipped a beat. She grinned at Travis, “well, I don’t know,” she teased until Jessie cleared her throat, “I’d love to” she beamed as she wrapped her arms around Travis’ midsection. She was so excited, she was already imagining what kind of dress she was going to get.

-

Rachel’s eyes shot open. She quickly got to a sitting position and looked down at herself. She was wearing the same red shirt and blue jeans she had been wearing when she went to the house Friday night. She slowly got to her feet, a little shaky like she was when she first woke up as a girl. Looking around, she realized she was lying out on the grass in front of the high school.

“My name is Ryan Hawke,” Rachel murmured, reassuring herself that they did not do the same thing to her that they had done to William. She sighed and fell to a sitting position. It was Saturday morning; she had been gone all night. She leaned her head back, staring upwards at the overcast clouds.

Rachel remained sitting on the grass, looking upward as rain drops began to fall on her face. It was not long until the darkening clouds drenched everything below. A car driving by pulled over; the car reversed back up to where Rachel sat on the grass.

“Rachel!?” a voice called out from the car. Rachel ignored the call and remained lost in the clouds. The door of the car closed as footsteps hurried over to her.

An umbrella blocked Rachel’s view, “Rachel are you okay?” the voice asked. After another moment of silence the person put an arm around Rachel and pulled her to her feet, “Let’s get you home.”

Rachel tilted her head to look at Travis, her wet body now held closely to his under the umbrella. Her face suddenly felt flush as her heart began to race a little bit.

“What were you doing just sitting in the rain?” Travis asked concerned.

Rachel stared at Travis, her stomach knotting up as she stood closely to him with his arm around her. Her eyes widened as she pushed Travis away. “Leave me alone!” Rachel yelled as she began to run down the street.

“Rachel!” Travis called after her, “wait!”

Rachel did not turn back or slow her pace. She continued to run through the rain until she again stood outside the dilapidated Gregory House. As she stepped closer to the gates, she found herself completely unable to keep going.

A sudden terror had built up inside of her, one she had never felt before. She tried to take another step toward the house but found her body absolutely refusing to do so. Rachel hung her head and looked at her hands, they were trembling. Rachel clenched her teeth and closed her eyes, forcing herself to step towards the gates. Her mind was screaming at her to stop, her body fighting her, she finally reached out and grabbed hold of the iron gate.

Shaking uncontrollably she pushed at the gate. The gate didn’t budge, it was locked. Rachel screamed in anguish as her legs gave way and her hands slid down the gate as she came to a kneeling position in front of the gate. She dropped her head, tears rolling down her already wet cheeks.

She slowly got to her feet, walking away from the gates of the Gregory Estate. With each step she took the fear that the old house had instilled in her eased away. With tears still rolling down her cheeks, Rachel was realizing that she was no longer the same person that she was the night before.

Rachel drug her feet down the wet sidewalk. She stopped and looked across the street. She was a hundred feet from her front door. She turned her head sharply in disgust; she did not want her mom or brother to see her like this. She continued down the street.

Rachel decided there was one place she could go where she’d be able to find a way to feel like her old self again, one person that could help her feel like a guy and, she hoped, undo the damage done. She slowly walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

Allison opened the door. Her smiling face turned to that of shock when she got a look at Rachel, “holy shit, what happened to you?” Allison ushered Rachel inside and gave her a towel to wrap herself in.

Allison quickly led Rachel to her room, “let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” she instructed as she gave Rachel a pair of pajama pants and a loose fitting t-shirt out of her closet, “I’ll go make something warm to drink and you change.”

Rachel stripped off her wet shirt and bra, frowning as she looked down at her breasts. She tossed the shirt over her head and proceeded to strip off her completely soaked denim jeans and her underwear. She put on Allison’s clothes and sat with a sigh on the edge of Allison’s bed as she instantly felt better being out of the wet clothes.

Allison returned with two mugs of hot chocolate and gave one to Rachel as she sat next to her. “What’s going on?” Allison asked with concern.

Rachel stared down at her cup for a moment before finally taking a sip, “I…” she struggled to get the words out she wanted, “I need to figure out who I am…”

Allison raised an eyebrow, “what do you mean?”

Rachel bit her lip, “you told me once that if I ever wanted to try…” she mumbled into her hot chocolate, “to come to you…”

Allison was taken aback. She was both elated and dismayed by the words coming out of Rachel’s mouth, “are you sure?”

Rachel continued staring at her hot chocolate; “yeah…” she nodded slightly.

Allison lowered her gaze as she considered what her friend was saying, “I’d be worried it might hurt our friendship if things didn’t go well.”

Rachel raised her head to look over to Allison. She placed a hand on her leg, “regardless of how this turns out be assured that it wont effect our friendship.”

Allison smiled to Rachel, “so what do you want to do?” she asked, “y’know, at first.”

“I want to do as much as we can,” Rachel said with a serious face.

“What?” Allison looked surprised, “are you sure?”

Rachel nodded, “I need to know for sure.”

“O-okay,” Allison said, blushing a little, “I’ll just keep going until you tell me to stop?”

Rachel nodded slightly.

Allison scooted up next to Rachel and looked her straight in the eyes. She still wondered if it was really a good idea to fulfill Rachel’s request, given her questionable emotional stability. She bit her lip as Rachel closed her eyes and leaned forward a little. Pushing the questions out of her head, Allison tilted her head and leaned forward.

Allison kissed Rachel for a moment before breaking it off; she frowned at Rachel, “Rachel…”

Rachel shook her head, “no,” she muttered, “I want to do this.” She leaned forward putting her lips back to Allison’s.

As the two girls kissed, Rachel kept her hands at her side. Noticing Rachel’s stiffness, Allison gently took one of Rachel’s hands and moved it up inside of her shirt so that Rachel’s hand was now on her breast.

Rachel blinked a little in surprise as Allison was encouraging Rachel to feel her up. Rachel closed her eyes again as they continued to kiss. Allison took the initiative and tickled her fingers up Rachel’s side until she began to trace around Rachel’s breast.

Rachel was shocked to find that the arousal she had been lacking was now in full force. She began kissing more enthusiastically, thoroughly enjoying the feelings. She opened her eyes slightly to see Travis opposite her kissing her.

Rachel’s eyes shot open and she quickly pulled away from Allison, “No!” she cried out.

“Rachel!” Allison was concerned, “what’s wrong?”

Rachel stared at Allison for a second, before sighing and hanging her head, “it’s just,” she mumbled, “I didn’t feel anything…”

“Nothing?” Allison slumped her shoulders, “not even at the end?”

“Only because…” Rachel bit her lip, “because I imagined you as Travis…”

Allison nodded as she lay on her bed with her hands behind her head, “well you’re not gay, congrats,” she forced a smile, “you’re just a normal straight girl.”

“Yeah…” Rachel sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek, “normal…”