HOME | DD
Published: 2007-08-29 15:41:49 +0000 UTC; Views: 2597; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 4
Redirect to original
Description
While he was waiting for an answer from the blond, Sasori started picking idly at the blanket beneath him. Hm. Another easy way to avoid any sort of talking would be to simply leave the room, though... For reasons already stated, he wouldn't. Plus, knowing his luck, he'd have to put up with another panic attack or something. Of course, if things started heading down unfavourable paths, he could always resort to making Deidara shut up somehow, or---Why was he so vehemently against wanting to talk, anyway? He vaguely noted that the sculptor had actually decided to look at him. He continued to wait for a reply, until one... Sort of came. But 'uhm' was not any sort of- ah, he hadn't finished. But, still, 'about stuff' wasn't much good, either. Why was the brat having trouble being specific? This was getting awkward, indeed, though not quite tension-filled - at least not for the puppet.
He sighed, giving his partner a mildly irritated look. "What kind of stuff, brat." It was worded like a question, although the tone was too flat to be considered actually questioning. "If it happens to be anything like what we've previously talked about, just say it," he added bluntly.
As every second passed, Deidara was gradually beginning to not want to talk to Sasori after all. This really wasn’t the time to do it. Especially if he wanted to talk about that. He should’ve waited a while, at least until they were alone in the building and the puppet was in a good mood. Which was…close to never. He had been okay the night before…after he’d been tamed so to speak. He shifted slightly again, moving his hand back to grab hold of Scorpling the bird plushie, bringing it forward and clutching it tightly
He winced when he was given his oh, so lovely nickname again. That time it hurt. But he didn’t shout at his partner like he would’ve usually done. Instead he just sat there, thinking over his answer.
Well…he couldn’t exactly say “stuff like dancing penguins, pink ponies, rainbows and fluffy clouds”, now could he? That would be…well…odd, coz it wasn’t really what the sculptor wanted to talk about anyway.
But there was an opening. When the red head finished what he was saying. Now what? Urgh, might as well do it. ‘…un…’ he began…okay, go on. ‘You know what you said last night…about wanting to feel the same way that I feel for you?’ The blond paused, rethinking this. Was it really a good idea to ask all this now? Meh…too late now anyway. ‘Did…did you mean it?’
Sasori noticed the reaction earned from the cheery little nickname, inwardly frowning while outwardly continuing to look irritated to hell and back. Well, at least he didn't make a big fuss about it or anything... Maybe he was getting used to it? Then the blond wouldn't have winced as he did... And why the fuck did he, the supposedly-but-not-quite-emotionless puppet, want to apologize for it? For once, it wasn't his inner-human self prodding at him to do it, either...
He broke away from these thoughts and started listening to Deidara once again when he began speaking. 'Un' what, now? The red-head tilted his head to the side, and couldn't mask the frown resulting from the next words out of his partner's mouth. He nodded, anyway. So this was going to be about that, then, hmm? Peachy.
The puppet was once again left waiting while the sculptor paused - he seemed to be thinking about something. Ceasing his fidgeting with the blanket, he peered off to one side, if only to look at something other than the blond - of which he looked back to once he began speaking yet again. Did he really mean what he had said...? Did he? Ha, for once, he'd be able to provide an actual, definate answer to something. "Yes." If he hadn't meant it, would he have said it, in the first place? Then again, it wasn't like he hadn't said things he didn't actually mean, before... "... Why?"
He had meant it…he had meant it. Deidara’s heart was beginning to beat faster and faster, forcing it’s way up to his throat with every beat. He had meant it. But…that meant…he wanted to love him. Sasori wanted to love him.
But why did it hurt? Was it because his heart was beating so hard against his chest? Hm…the stomach pain didn’t help much either. Urgh…why wouldn’t it just go away. Wait…it was…it was changing slightly. To a more…tickly feeling. What? Butterflies? He was getting butterflies now?
He looked down slightly. ‘Okay…’ he mumbled, eyes locked onto his lap. Why was he so miserable? Surely this was an opportunity to be happy. He wanted to love him.
Maybe it would be a good idea to verify that then.
‘So…so you want to love me?’ he asked, only catching the puppeteer’s eyes for a second before moving them again. Urgh, what was wrong? Why couldn’t he look at him now?
Then the red head spoke again and the sculptor moved his eyes to lock onto the other’s again. “Why?” Way to add to the awkwardness, Danna. He shifted again. What to say, what to say. Nothing stupid. Although, his brain seemed to be failing in thinking up something suitable to say. The blond sighed, looking back again. ‘I…I just wanted to know, un,’ he mumbled. ‘Coz…you know…you hate me…’
The puppeteer furrowed his brows at the mumbled 'okay'. The brat didn't look so very happy - if anything, right about now, he'd be willing to label the blond as 'depressed' or something. Did it help that he looked like he needed a hug? ... Yes, now that had been a product of his annoying human inner-self. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind as the blond spoke again. He'd have nodded, if the blond hadn't switched from looking to him, to somewhere else - thus pretty much forcing him to respond verbally lest his answer not be seen.
"... Yes." Another definate answer. He was on a roll, wasn't he? And it was the truth, too! He wanted to... Love, Deidara, but the very concept was... Well, it never lasted, did it? Not even in the movies, for the final conclusion of everything living was... Well, obvious... He wouldn't be able to stand something like that. 'Forever, or nothing.' Sasori listened for an answer to his question, now, blinking slowly when the blond locked eyes with him for a moment before breaking eye contact, then answering. Just wanted to know...? Okay... Ah. The puppet looked down to one side at the last thing.
Hate. Love. Funny things. Yeah, sure, he had said he hated his partner a while ago... For making him feel for the brat. It also served as a way to keep him at a distance, so to speak, though to a point, that had failed. "I don't think that's..." He paused, going over his choice of words before continuing. "... I don't really..." Oh. Fuck it. He shook his head, rather frustrated with himself. "Nevermind."
Deidara sighed slightly. If that was the case then why wasn’t Sasori trying to love him by giving him affection of some sort? If it had been the other way round Deidara would’ve made a move by now…why was he avoiding it? There was definitely something wrong. Something…not right.
Okay, so the puppeteer had previously claimed he had no emotional feelings, but he had feelings for his partner. Was that it? He just couldn’t express his feelings properly. Or maybe he simply didn’t know how to.
As his brain carried on going through all the possibilities, he began to notice that the dizziness had been whittled down to…well…nothing now. All that was left was a slight throbbing of his head from the headache and that annoying burning feeling. At least he wasn’t dizzy anymore though. That was one problem out of the way.
He waited for a response…which…began to come, but was stopped. And again. Hm…should he ask what he was going to say? Although…that would might be treading in hot water…
Alright, he’d let that slide. For now at least. Right now, the blond wanted to find out what was going on behind his partner’s beautiful scarlet eyes.
He stood up, leaving the plushie behind and moved over to the red head’s bed, sitting down next to him. The sculptor remained silent for a few seconds before speaking. ‘Are you scared of it, Danna?’ he asked cautiously. ‘Are you scared of getting committed or something?’
After his poor excuse of a reply - seriously, why the hell was he having trouble with words? - Sasori resigned himself to closely inspected the material of the blanket on his bed, not exactly finding the criss-crossing, interwoven threads all that interesting, but... Eh. It was something to look at, at least, right? Plus he didn't want the brat to possibly notice his mild frustration. He'd probably think it was directed towards him, or something like that.
He didn't bother to look when he heard Deidara stand, though he did turn his eyes back to the blond when he sat down next to him. Hn...? Oh. The red-head listened to his partner's cautious inquiries. Was he scared of... Getting committed? The puppet frowned. Him? Scared of something? Okay... So he did have fears. Commitment, normally, wouldn't be one of them. After all, he was committed to keeping his puppets in good shape. He was committed to everlasting art. Things that he could be sure would be around forever, or damn well near it. Now, the type of commitment that the blond was getting at...?
Truthfully... Yes. It wasn't the type that lasted. Eventually, one or the other would grow bored. Or, worse yet, die. Or something along those lines. And then, there were a few... Barriers, really. He wasn't human. The brat was. In all honesty, he wouldn't be able to give the brat what a human partner would be able to... And so on. Though he didn't voice any of this, not even the simple, one-worded answer - he merely nodded his head once, before looking away again, down at the floor.
Deidara sat there, trying his hardest to restrain himself from lifting his hand up to brush against Sasori’s shoulder. It was pretty darn tough too. So he was scared. But being scared of being committed was quite vague if anything. Was he scared of getting hurt? Didn’t he like the idea of love? Hm…either way, he was getting the feeling that it was the case.
Although, he didn’t word it. Instead, he did raise his hand and gently patted the puppeteer on the shoulder in a sort of…reassuring way.
‘Danna…’ he muttered. It was said in such a way that it sounded like he had been going to say “silly Danna.” Though he didn’t. ‘You should’ve told me…’ Which…he felt was true. If he had told the blond then maybe things wouldn’t’ve gone “bad” as it were. He would actually know what he was up against. Sure, he didn’t really know how to handle this sort of situation. Love wasn’t really something he had read up on. Heh…maybe he should have if something like this was going to happen. Even though…it was kind of inevitable.
But right now, he felt that the red head needed support right now than anything else. Of course, he would’ve preferred it if they were looking at each other, but he wasn’t going to force his partner into doing something he didn’t want to do. ‘Do you…wanna tell me what exactly you’re scared of about it, un?’ he asked gently. He only wanted to help. And try to get to the bottom of their problem. Yes, he was beginning to see it more as a problem than anything else now.
Hmn... Was that a termite, or an ant? It was too pale to be an ant. Tch, he was so going to have to pick up a bottle of raid or get Zetsu to check the house for a colony or something before the damn things got at his puppets...
Sasori's odd try of getting his mind off of the current topic totally and utterly failed when he noticed the brat had pat his shoulder. Albeit gently. Almost didn't notice it, but he had, and it had been enough to bring his mind back to their more recent topic. Eugh, he had actually confessed that he was scared of something, hadn't he...? He turned his head slightly towards the blond at the pseudo-name, feeling a twinge of annoyance at the particular way it was said. Should've told him? The puppet snorted.
Though it probably would've kept a few unpleasant events from occuring, how would he have brought it up? It should've been obvious he wasn't good with this sort of... Thing. If it had been up to him, they wouldn't even be having this conversation right now - he'd be off where-ever with the rest of the Akatsuki with that stupid shopping list. Though, to an extent, it had been up to him; he could've just said 'no' to the 'stay!' episode, sedated the blond, and gone anyway. That realization irked him...
He finally decided to look at Deidara after the question had been asked. Hm! Did he want to tell him what, exactly, about commitment or whatever, that he was scared of? Did he? Yeah, if only to get the brat to understand what his opinion on it all was. But should he tell him, was the question. How would the sculptor react to his probably long-winded explaination...? There was only one way to find out, and it could probably help with a few things, but... "... Many things," he mumbled. "But... To summarize it all, you'd be better off finding someone who is of flesh and blood." He had to force himself to say it, tone hollow and, if anything, cold - maybe even a bit bitter - but he felt it had to be said, if only because he felt it was the truth.
Waiting again. Urgh, Deidara was beginning to realise how much disliked waiting. No he could see why it bugged Sasori so much. It was pretty annoying, just sitting around doing nothing until something happened. He shifted a little, eyes wandering off around the room. Should he go retrieve his plushie? Nah, it was fine. It wasn’t like it was going to burst into blame within the next two minute was it. He cringed at the thought, getting up and snatching up the toy before returning to his previous spot on his partner’s bed.
Many things. That was…vague. Was he just going to say that or carry on and give a few examples? If not…well…how was the blond meant to help? Should he have just backed off and let it lie? Just like everything else...it was just too late now. What was done had been done and there was no going back. He had to get to the bottom of this if there was any chance of figuring out what was going on in the puppeteer’s head.
He was about to ask “What sort of things” when his question…was…well…kind of answered. Kind of. It was really an exclamation, but he managed to figure out what it might have meant. Well…there were a few possibilities, but the one that had cropped into the blond’s mind the quickest had been sex. One of the things he was quite scared of and wasn’t really ready for.
That would be awkward. And the way that it had been said wasn’t helping either. Although, he tried to make it seem like he had been unaffected. ‘I don’t think so, un,’ he stated. It’d be pretty difficult for the sculptor to fall in love with someone else in the organisation. Hidan was a prick, Kakuzu would rob him, Kisame smelt of fish, Itachi was a prick, Zetsu would probably eat him and Tobi was just…well…Tobi. ‘I only like you, un.’ It was better than going through the whole register, stating why he shouldn’t hit on any of the other Akatsuki members.
... He didn't think so? As per usual, Deidara held a different opinion to the one Sasori had. The polar opposite. Then again, what else did he expect? ... Now that he thought about it for a moment, they were total opposites, weren't they? In almost every damn aspect, too... That brought to mind that old, totally cliche saying; 'opposites attract'. Despite his effort to disprove that, it would probably wind up true, too.
The hell was he thinking? Sasori shook his head from side-to-side once, brows furrowing at the second statement. Well, when one took into consideration the entirety of the organisation, that... Made some sense. But, like a couple of the other members, he was mean to the blond, too, was he not? Though if it were at all possible, he'd go back and change a few things - that was besides the point, given that he couldn't and what was done, was done. So, why was it that the sculptor still liked him, and apparently, only him? Really... He didn't quite get it.
Before he knew quite what he was doing, the red-head had slowly started to reach up in order to brush his hand against his partner's cheek - though before he did so, his brain seemed to catch up with his body. He snatched his hand back, looking mildly confused for a moment before glaring at the brat. "Why?" Letting out what sounded almost like a growl, he turned his head to look directly away from the blond, fists clenching in the blanket. "Why do you only like me?! Why am I able to like you...?" ... This was... Foolish. He felt foolish; he was acting, in his opinion, like a stupid little kid or something... "... Nevermind!" Shaking his head once more, he unclenched his fists and stood up from the bed. After a second or two of standing still, he started to make a hastey retreat for the door. Yeah, sure, he had said he wouldn't leave the room, but... Ugh! Screw it! He needed space to think or... Something!
This wasn’t good. Why was he shaking his head? Although Deidara was only trying his best to help, he was slowly getting worried. Maybe he should move away a bit…just to save himself if Sasori decided to lash out and hit him. That way, he’d be able to escape quickly.
He blinked a couple of times when he raised his hand up to his cheek, blushing slightly. Was this it? Was it finally going to…no…apparently not. He’d stopped. And the way the word “Why” had been said didn’t sound all too encouraging. The blond’s worry about being hit was rising as the seconds passed. It looked like if he was going to get hit it would be pretty damn hard as well. He edged away a little bit as the puppeteer clenched his fists. He really should just back off. He seemed really…confused…and by the sounds of his next questions he was in denial as well. Though he didn’t voice it. He simply sat there, staring at red head, carrying on moving away. He really wanted to move back over and hug him to make him feel all better…although that probably wouldn’t be wanted right then. Probably more of a chance of him being attacked or yelled at. Even though he had good intentions. And was beginning to wish he’d never brought up the subject in the first place. It really looked like it had affected the suna nin’ greatly.
But the sculptor panicked when he got up. No no no, he couldn’t leave. Not without him. No! He quickly got up, moving forward after his partner, grabbing hold of his hand tightly. ‘Danna…please,’ he pleaded. No…wait...the puppeteer had promised he wasn’t going to leave the room. So he had a good reason why. It did look that way too. He paused, letting go of the wooden hand and letting his arms drop to his side. ‘…don’t be long…’ he mumbled, looking down at the ground, shuffling his feet a little.
The puppet had gotten, at most, two feet away from the bed before he noticed 'someone' had grabbed hold of one of his hands. At the pleading words, he turned, glaring once again at his partner. At the moment, he didn't want to hurt the blond - though at the same time, he did. It was annoying. Frustrating. Conflicting... This must be how Zetsu felt most of the time, what with the multiple personalities...
His glare dissolved into a just slightly concerned, albeit more apathetic look when Deidara let go. Don't be long? He didn't know how long he'd be... He needed to think. Maybe to meditate on the subject, which could very well take hours... For a moment, Sasori simply stood where he'd been stopped, staring at the sculptor, thinking. Eugh... Fine. He'd be back 'soon'... Ish, at best. "... I'll be back when everyone else leaves." His tone was back to being monotonous and rather blank with those words. Though, hesitantly, similar as before, he rose a hand - though this time he was fully aware of it - reaching over, running it through the brat's hair briefly in what could almost be construed as... A clumsily affectionate ruffle?
Seconds after which he turned, continuing on his way to the door and, successfully, exiting the room, opening and closed the door behind him. Right, now where to go? He could always sneak down into the basement... It was slowly becoming his favourite room-away-from-his-and-the-brat's-room. So to speak. Fine. Yes, he'd flee down into the basement... It was quiet and all that good stuff.
Destination in mind, the red-head finally started away from the door of the room he and the blond shared, eyes almost tiredly watching the floor as he went. Ha. He could hear Kakuzu and Hidan arguing about something, as per usual, loud and clear just downstairs. Best to avoid them, which meant he wouldn't be going to the basement straight away... Great. He still owed Kakuzu money, and Hidan would probably want to try to get revenge or something...
... And someone was in the bathroom. Looked like he was going to be lurking the hallway for a while.
Okay, so when Deidara had said “don’t be long” he had been enticing that Sasori should return within ten minutes or so. But…Sasori looked like he really did need some time alone, so he wasn’t going to object. As long as he wouldn’t be too long. If anything bad happened he could just run off to find him…waiting wasn’t a good idea. Actually…he could just scream his partner’s name out at the top of his lungs. Hopefully that would get him to come back.
Still, he nodded and watched as the human puppet left the room and moved back over to his bed, adopting his previous position. Urgh, that had gone soooo well. Then again…as badly as the little talk had gone, it could’ve gone a hell of a lot worse. He might’ve even ended up on the floor, bleeding from fifty different places, hair practically all torn off, ready to be puppetised. Well…maybe not that bad…but it could’ve happened, right?
It could’ve gone better as well…but it didn’t look like winning the red head over was going to be very easy. And of course, the sculptor had realised that.
He fell back on his partner’s bed, staring up at the ceiling, hand searching around for his discarded plushie. Ah, there it was. He grabbed it and pulled it up to his chest. He really hoped that Sasori was going to be okay after all this. He seemed so confused about the whole prospect of it. Maybe it would’ve been a good idea to point out that he wouldn’t be able to help the way he felt. No one could. It was a natural thing that depended on emotions. Hm…emotions. At times the blond felt that he didn’t really know how to control them. Then again…he was still young and felt that he shouldn’t really be wondering about these sort of things. But he was an adult…surely he should act more maturely about the whole situation.
Feh, when pigs fly.
Deidara groaned slightly, flipping himself over and crawling over to the head of his partner’s bed, pulling away the blankets and snuggling underneath. Might as well pass the time by resting, right?
It was at that moment, while he was waiting for the arguing pair downstairs to shove off and argue somewhere else, that Sasori noticed Leader had so many... Interesting paintings hanging around the hallway. Most of them were small, and they were far-spaced from each other and it looked like Kisame, or someone just as tall as the sharkman, had hung them up, as they were rather high. He couldn't tell who they were by, though. Most of them were artist's depictions of some demon or other, some of them were actually strikingly normal scenes.
The puppet eventually adopted a space near a window, peering out of it, expression one of boredom. Though his mind was far from idle; it was going over what he and Deidara had been talking about moments ago. So... He did like the blond, though he didn't want to. And, apparently, though he had pointed out the brat would be better off with someone who was also a flesh-and-blood human, the response was negative. It seemed like he didn't care about that little barrier. Fine. Okay...
Other than his own personal issues, as well as the whole... Aging thing... Which he'd have to bring up eventually - maybe it would show the brat the futility of it all? Or at least show him where he was coming from on some things... Hm. Other than those things... There really wasn't anything in the way, was there? But between the two things that were - the first one alone encompassed a lot of things...
Eugh. This little pocket of 'alone time' probably wouldn't be enough to work these things through in his head... And if he were still human, he was pretty damn sure he'd have a major migrane about now. Maybe he should ask Leader if he could go on a solo mission or something... Time away from Deidara, and time alone to think. And depending on the mission, someone to rant about everything at and then kill. Or make into a puppet. Yeah, that sounded like a good idea, to him. But how would his partner take news of such a thing? Then again, he could always just slip away without letting him know, but... That could be disasterous. Hmm... It sounded like the lover's tiff downstairs had ended.
Once again, Deidara was failing in the challenge of getting comfortable. Even though Sasori’s duvet was significantly softer. Hm…that was probably because he didn’t sleep and didn’t have the chance to use them. He had occasionally taken the duvet during cold nights in the winter when the heating decided not to work, but that was it.
And there was something about his bed that was warming. Not like it had a heated mattress or anything. Could it just be the fact that it was the puppet’s bed? Mm…it smelt like him too.
Okay, just try to ignore the annoying…burning…feeling. The blond flipped himself onto his back, staring up at the ceiling with such concentration he was going cross-eyed. Staring at this little spider on the ceiling and watching it crawl around was getting his mind off it pretty well. Until a wave of heat came along.
URGH.
He grabbed his plushie and shoved it over his face letting out a drowned out, frustrated groan. Stupid stupid side effects. Whoever created that antidote was a complete moron. A sadistic moron at that.
Now…rest…ignore the burning and just rest.
The sculptor pulled his plushie away from his face, instead moving it so both arms were holding it tightly to his chest. He slowly let his eyes flutter closed and began to form a mini story in his head. That was how he usually started dreams off. Wait…no…he couldn’t do that. He might get a nightma…bad dream. That had been one of the side effects if he had been listening properly. Hm…on second thought, he’d just lie there for a bit. At least until he got so bored he’d have to go and get a book.
Related content
Comments: 26
Gamergirl224 [2012-12-09 11:55:07 +0000 UTC]
Aww poor confused Sasori he can't is torn between his pride and his heart.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
nanna95K [2011-03-18 21:40:53 +0000 UTC]
whell i thought that theyre tallk went well this time i mean he dident get seriusly hurt or poisend this time right!?! and poor sasori, hes so confused(and adoreble <3 XD) so cute ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Squirrelmouse [2007-09-25 13:32:37 +0000 UTC]
Wonderful. ^^
I love your story.
Oh my Jashin, I was so stupid.
Didn't watch you untill now!
But now I'm doing and I will read the next chapters.
Yay!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
selene-soulwar [2007-09-12 20:13:06 +0000 UTC]
AAAAHH! i love this part. Sasori is just so confused, it's so funny xxD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Squoogyboo [2007-09-02 23:59:10 +0000 UTC]
Good job with the roleplay!:3 I wish I were a part of one....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Reckless-X-Abandon In reply to Squoogyboo [2007-09-03 09:53:32 +0000 UTC]
You should find a roleplaying partner.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
gaarasluver [2007-09-01 21:25:08 +0000 UTC]
GOOO UBER-FABSIE-CHAN!!! Hurry with the next please!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
petite-neko In reply to Reckless-X-Abandon [2007-09-09 06:54:07 +0000 UTC]
I KNOW I KNOW!!! -impatient-
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ankhana [2007-08-30 10:09:40 +0000 UTC]
I thought that talk went rather well, considering how the others went o_o
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MeestahBunBun [2007-08-30 02:00:13 +0000 UTC]
Wooo!!
Next one!!
*Skips around like a complete maniac on meds*
5 minutes later:
*Collapses onto the comfty floor of her room*
You rock!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
CoolGlassesChick [2007-08-29 22:57:59 +0000 UTC]
Yay for the latest chapter! A few days ago I started reading this at night, then resumed in the morning. I think it took me about, what, maybe 6 hours? XD Not long at all, anyways I love this! (I even got my -totally-against-gay-couples friend Mor-chan to read it, she liked Fuckwad. He should do something dramatic in the story... like maybe tie up Hidan and take him hostage... yeah... something like that.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Reckless-X-Abandon In reply to CoolGlassesChick [2007-08-30 09:37:46 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you and your friend liked it!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Reckless-X-Abandon In reply to Madame-Takayi [2007-08-29 18:26:08 +0000 UTC]
Well it is the roleplay itself. I just copy and paste it from my Gaiaonline inbox (where we roleplay it) and upload it onto here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Madame-Takayi In reply to Reckless-X-Abandon [2007-08-29 18:36:08 +0000 UTC]
HOMG I HAD NO IDEA. xD
👍: 0 ⏩: 0