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Description

Imagine if you will, before the crisis involving Prometheus and the Everyman mutagen, a vortex enveloping the city of Paris, France. When the city disappeared into the vortex, only a perfectly-preserved painting, dating back to The Renaissance, was left in the crater. Five bizarre individuals (well, four and their very handsome, virile leader) claimed the painting from the crater and ventured off with it. As the world authorities and various hero teams scrambled to find out what happened to the missing city, a small ship sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean from New York City to the city of Le Havre in France, and then the passengers of the ship drove to the massive crater in the… ugh, ambulance… they managed to fit onboard. You already know who these guys are, but this was before they decided on the team name Doom Patrol or on code-names for each member; back when they were but four medical experiments, the paraplegic doctor who saved them, and the young paramedic who was currently driving them. Knowing the crater that used to be Paris would be cordoned off by the authorities, Dr. Niles Caulder had his team sneak into the crater while he and Casey Brinke, the aforementioned paramedic, distract the guards. Steve, Rita, Larry, and Cliff, snuck the ambulance in and Cliff, the one later to be called Robotman, drove the vehicle for hours into the center of the crater (AGAIN, I have to say the crater is the size of an entire city). Upon reaching the epicenter, Steve, later called Mento, used his newfound telepathic abilities to feel the mental waves of the people of Paris, realizing they are stuck in some kind of time-loop. The city is still technically here, but in a fixed point of time that can be easily relocated physically. Steve’s wife Rita (Elastigirl) and their friend Larry (Negative Man) helped Steve and Cliff search the crater’s center until they found a chunk of wall sticking out of the dirt, obscured by the haze of the sun’s heat. The wall, belonging to The Louvre, was where a painting was held. Called Le Cavalier Cinquieme, the painting was said to be cursed and that it’s original painter from all those centuries ago was driven mad by it. The team found bizarre finger prints on it, ones that don’t actually look like fingerprints but random knock-knock jokes written in the shape of fingerprints. When the team got back to the edge of the crater to meet with Dr. Caulder and Casey, they discussed that Steve can track the psychic singularity across the world. Returning to America, our team discovered a dishevel shack in Hoboken, New Jersey that Steve traced the psychic imprint from Paris to. They even found the unusual fingerprints, now telling them to “f**k off, seriously”. The six opened the door to the shack and a blinding light sucked them in. They found themselves in a lavish palatial mansion, bent awkwardly and uncomfortably in space and time. That’s when *I* welcomed them here. The man with the weird fingerprints. The one and only… Mister Nobody! *loud applause* Me and my team, The Dadaists, were the ones responsible for the vanishing of Paris, and I proudly displayed Le Cavalier Cinquieme, now containing the entire city of Paris, as the centrepiece of my mansion’s dining hall. When asked why I stole an entire city, I proudly proclaimed that it is because I dislike the French. I mean, have you MET a French person? Yeesh. Anyway, my Dadaists, Fog, Frenzy, Sleepwalk, and Glove, did battle with Caulder’ freakshow whilst I made my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I have the painting in my clutches. Caulder and Casey gave chase as much as they could, but my powers (provided by the Nazi scientist who turned lowly Eric Morden into the fantabulous Mr. Nobody) stymied their advance at every turn. However, the Dadaists lost and the other nerds hunted me down as well. I bent the reality of my domain to suit my needs, but Larry’s Negative Spirit, or whatever it’s called, slipped through my fingers and struck poor me down. I was sent careening into the Painting and ripped it, causing a warp in space/time that absorbed me, my mansion, and my Dadaists into the Painting. The city of Paris was returned to where it started, and the ramshackle hut in New Jersey collapsed, spitting the six of them back out. The Painting That Ate Paris is now floating around in the Bleed, the universe between universes, but I managed to escape… only to become the prisoner of some fat dork from Florida who is forcing me to speak these words with his typing. He can make me say whatever he wants. Tacos. Fat asses. Chicken necks. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub. See?! But I WILL escape, because there is something the “Dork Patrol” doesn’t know. After I started my metamorphosis into Mr. Nobody, I used what remained of my altered DNA and sired a child with it. This daughter of mine, Terry None, is Casey Brinke’s roommate! Through her will I exit this smelly, Mountain Dew-tainted prison! And my drooling idiot of a world will see…!

Notes:
* Mister Nobody could bend space and time to whatever he wanted within a limited range.
* Sleepwalk, real name: Holly McKenzie, has superhuman strength, speed, and agility, but only when she’s asleep and sleepwalking.
* Fog, real name: Byron Shelly, can absorb and trap people within his vapor form.
* Frenzy, real name: Lloyd Jefferson, can transform into a powerful tornado.
* Glove, real name: Bobby Carmichael, has weaponized gauntlets with various abilities.
* Mister Nobody was indeed solicited by Lex Luthor to join his team, The Doomed, but Nobody refused, and THEN he stole Paris. That’s when Luthor had Dr. Caulder send his newly-formed team to find and eliminate Nobody (without Steve, Rita, Larry, Cliff, or Casey knowing the true purpose of it).
* Le Cavalier Cinquieme is French for “The Fifth Horseman”.

Description

Imagine if you will, before the crisis involving Prometheus and the Everyman mutagen, a vortex enveloping the city of Paris, France. When the city disappeared into the vortex, only a perfectly-preserved painting, dating back to The Renaissance, was left in the crater. Five bizarre individuals (well, four and their very handsome, virile leader) claimed the painting from the crater and ventured off with it. As the world authorities and various hero teams scrambled to find out what happened to the missing city, a small ship sailed all the way across the Atlantic Ocean from New York City to the city of Le Havre in France, and then the passengers of the ship drove to the massive crater in the… ugh, ambulance… they managed to fit onboard. You already know who these guys are, but this was before they decided on the team name Doom Patrol or on code-names for each member; back when they were but four medical experiments, the paraplegic doctor who saved them, and the young paramedic who was currently driving them. Knowing the crater that used to be Paris would be cordoned off by the authorities, Dr. Niles Caulder had his team sneak into the crater while he and Casey Brinke, the aforementioned paramedic, distract the guards. Steve, Rita, Larry, and Cliff, snuck the ambulance in and Cliff, the one later to be called Robotman, drove the vehicle for hours into the center of the crater (AGAIN, I have to say the crater is the size of an entire city). Upon reaching the epicenter, Steve, later called Mento, used his newfound telepathic abilities to feel the mental waves of the people of Paris, realizing they are stuck in some kind of time-loop. The city is still technically here, but in a fixed point of time that can be easily relocated physically. Steve’s wife Rita (Elastigirl) and their friend Larry (Negative Man) helped Steve and Cliff search the crater’s center until they found a chunk of wall sticking out of the dirt, obscured by the haze of the sun’s heat. The wall, belonging to The Louvre, was where a painting was held. Called Le Cavalier Cinquieme, the painting was said to be cursed and that it’s original painter from all those centuries ago was driven mad by it. The team found bizarre finger prints on it, ones that don’t actually look like fingerprints but random knock-knock jokes written in the shape of fingerprints. When the team got back to the edge of the crater to meet with Dr. Caulder and Casey, they discussed that Steve can track the psychic singularity across the world. Returning to America, our team discovered a dishevel shack in Hoboken, New Jersey that Steve traced the psychic imprint from Paris to. They even found the unusual fingerprints, now telling them to “f**k off, seriously”. The six opened the door to the shack and a blinding light sucked them in. They found themselves in a lavish palatial mansion, bent awkwardly and uncomfortably in space and time. That’s when *I* welcomed them here. The man with the weird fingerprints. The one and only… Mister Nobody! *loud applause* Me and my team, The Dadaists, were the ones responsible for the vanishing of Paris, and I proudly displayed Le Cavalier Cinquieme, now containing the entire city of Paris, as the centrepiece of my mansion’s dining hall. When asked why I stole an entire city, I proudly proclaimed that it is because I dislike the French. I mean, have you MET a French person? Yeesh. Anyway, my Dadaists, Fog, Frenzy, Sleepwalk, and Glove, did battle with Caulder’ freakshow whilst I made my way downtown, walking fast, faces pass and I have the painting in my clutches. Caulder and Casey gave chase as much as they could, but my powers (provided by the Nazi scientist who turned lowly Eric Morden into the fantabulous Mr. Nobody) stymied their advance at every turn. However, the Dadaists lost and the other nerds hunted me down as well. I bent the reality of my domain to suit my needs, but Larry’s Negative Spirit, or whatever it’s called, slipped through my fingers and struck poor me down. I was sent careening into the Painting and ripped it, causing a warp in space/time that absorbed me, my mansion, and my Dadaists into the Painting. The city of Paris was returned to where it started, and the ramshackle hut in New Jersey collapsed, spitting the six of them back out. The Painting That Ate Paris is now floating around in the Bleed, the universe between universes, but I managed to escape… only to become the prisoner of some fat dork from Florida who is forcing me to speak these words with his typing. He can make me say whatever he wants. Tacos. Fat asses. Chicken necks. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub. See?! But I WILL escape, because there is something the “Dork Patrol” doesn’t know. After I started my metamorphosis into Mr. Nobody, I used what remained of my altered DNA and sired a child with it. This daughter of mine, Terry None, is Casey Brinke’s roommate! Through her will I exit this smelly, Mountain Dew-tainted prison! And my drooling idiot of a world will see…!

Notes:
* Mister Nobody could bend space and time to whatever he wanted within a limited range.
* Sleepwalk, real name: Holly McKenzie, has superhuman strength, speed, and agility, but only when she’s asleep and sleepwalking.
* Fog, real name: Byron Shelly, can absorb and trap people within his vapor form.
* Frenzy, real name: Lloyd Jefferson, can transform into a powerful tornado.
* Glove, real name: Bobby Carmichael, has weaponized gauntlets with various abilities.
* Mister Nobody was indeed solicited by Lex Luthor to join his team, The Doomed, but Nobody refused, and THEN he stole Paris. That’s when Luthor had Dr. Caulder send his newly-formed team to find and eliminate Nobody (without Steve, Rita, Larry, Cliff, or Casey knowing the true purpose of it).
* Le Cavalier Cinquieme is French for “The Fifth Horseman”.