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Fishbowl
Published: 2011-10-03 15:28:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 8653; Favourites: 144; Downloads: 84
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Description
borrowing,we breathe like
navy stripes on rice paper
and life for us is only
canary sidewalks and
shorelines like the
soft soft curve of
your parted lips,
but a gentle storm
is still a storm, and
this we know well.
and what do you think we are made out of,
star-flesh and street dust,
molded slowly into
spidery eyelashes and glowing
storm-freckles
and knuckles like crushed roses--
art is a human thing
even when you crumple
into the plush carpet
to lie for days
and days and
days.
[do not forget the things i tell you,
liquid whispers on harsh nights--]
we pluck nerves like
tulips in a sensory garden,
only for play and
never for work--daylight
is an unwound tendon
wrapped tight around
wide wide dream eyes,
glassy and knowing
like the whole ocean in a fishbowl;
i tell you for the last time,
i love you.
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Comments: 59
This is so beautiful. I love your similes and metaphors. However do you think of it?
It is such a joy to read and every time I look at it I find new meaning in it. So many little beautiful details and words that seem to not relate but as you put them, they are so perfect. <3
Excellent.
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Well thank you VERY much, I appreciate it! How sweet.
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You're welcome! ^^
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Amazing! It reminds me a lot of some of the classics in poetry,,,,I can easily imagin this being read along with some of Keats or Longfellows poems!! Breath-taking,,,,
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That's a HUGE compliment, thank you SO much! I'm flattered that you think so highly of it. c:
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Yes well...your woek most deffinetly speaks for its-self! Your very welcome!
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Ooh...wonderfully breath-taking!!! Now this is definetly going to m' favorites!
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Ohh thank you! I'm pleased you think so. <:
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but a gentle storm
is still a storm, and
this we know well.
Those lines are breathtaking. Beautiful.
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This is my favorite piece of literature I've read on this site in a long time. Something I wish I'd written, which sounds egotistical, but is meant as a compliment.
Congrats on your well deserved DD.
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That IS a compliment, and it's definitely well-received, so thank you. <:
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Excellent and nice use of beautiful imagery. It is very good. I especially love the line "liquid whispers on harsh nights". Keep up the good work.
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Thanks so much, I appreciate it~
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Your understand of metaphors blows me away, and buries me in the clouds of your alliteration.
This is truly beautiful.
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Goodness, thank you! I'm sure glad you got something out of it. c:
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I love that you got a DD and you are still replying to everything
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Haha, well, no reason that should change now. c:
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Thank you!! I sure appreciate it. c:
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Why thank you. c:
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Chirp, congrats on the DD, it's been twittered. [link]
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Oh! Well thank you! c:
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Thank you!
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you're welcome :3
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Lovely language, here. Really, really nice.
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Well thank you very much. c:
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this is beautiful. It's all I could think to say about it right now. <3
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That's quite enough of a compliment. <:
I appreciate it~
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^^ no worries
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Oh, wow. You have outdone yourself here, this is amazing. It almost... I mean, I know "i love you" is a clichΓ©. But by the time you get to the end lines, which could be clichΓ©, they're not because the rest of it is so... amazing and it sets the context so perfectly, it seems to naturally lead into it.
I love the idea of "borrowing" moments, pieces of time and life which are conveyed so cleverly here... I love "art is a human thing" (so true), "star-flesh and street dust", "storm-freckles", and the idea of "pluck[ing] nerves like tulips in a sensory garden". And "daylight is an unwound tendon" β WOW. Gah, so many things to love here. I feel the same as ~Wistfully-lilt β this is something that I want to read over and over, to understand and savour the full scope of it.
Wonderful. Thank you for sharing it. 
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I hate to say little more than, "seconded!" but if I made an original comment it would only repeat everything you said here.
Even among DD's, poetry of this caliber is very rare--excellent work!
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Aw yeah, ~RenderMeRainbow 's work is amazing. :3 (BTW, not sure if you know, but I don't think she'll be able to see this comment unless she happens to go to the deviation page, or unless you've posted it directly on the deviation as well.)
I really like your avatar, by the way! Lovely colours.
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Oh, I suppose that's true
And thank you very much =3
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Goodness, thank you! I'm so, so pleased that you enjoy it, and your thoughts are so warmly appreciated. It was a joy to read this comment and I'm sure I'll read THIS over and over again when I feel like no one reads or looks at my art. Thank you. <3
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You're very welcome!
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Beautiful work, I went back and reread through it slowly because the imagery was to be savoured.
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That's quite a compliment, thank you!
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You are most welcome.
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