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Published: 2010-09-01 16:16:52 +0000 UTC; Views: 3028; Favourites: 81; Downloads: 19
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Description
i saw a girl, yesterday, sitting on the pavement. her back was against the molding brick, and the leaves were falling around her body like tears, her arms were scrunched up in front of her face, shielding her beauty from the town. there was a fresh scar on her wrist, still bright and burning with pain. i've been in that position many times. so i sat beside her.she moved her arms from her face, and looked at me with her muddy brown eyes, one eye covered with her black hair, and other with tears. her eyeliner had run down her face like a symphony, and no one even stopped long enough to notice-except for me; i understood.
we didn't speak. we just focused our eyes on each other. not even a blink came from her or me. it was like a photograph, two people frozen while everyone else around them moved freely. except we didn't smile, or show our tongues, we sat-blank and damaged.
she moved closer to me, putting her hand on mine, and her head on my broad, pale shoulder. she trusted me, even though we had never met before. she worked like clockwork. her blinks were seconds apart, and her heart would beat when it should. there was chaos and madness outside of our own personal-invisible room. while we stayed, in silence and shallow voices.
"i'm manda", she told me.
"nice to finally know your name, i'm keri."
"your name is beautiful"
wow, never heard that before. "i actually hate my name. try being named after carrie on little house and the prairie."
"i was named after my mother's first girlfriend, not any better", she chuckled out.
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Comments: 99
RighttotheCore In reply to ??? [2011-09-29 19:30:10 +0000 UTC]
i never got around to writing more.
the girl i based it off of, moved. and i lost all inspiration.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
bloodandpixydust In reply to RighttotheCore [2011-09-29 22:39:56 +0000 UTC]
that's...very sad. i think, somehow, it makes it more perfect though. dont ask me why.x
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
hushed-lullabies [2011-05-23 23:34:01 +0000 UTC]
this is still one of favorite pieces by you <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RighttotheCore In reply to hushed-lullabies [2011-05-24 15:02:36 +0000 UTC]
i miss when she still lived here.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
uniquelyzany [2010-10-21 00:00:40 +0000 UTC]
i really like this. It's..I can't think of the right word to describe it..maybe sincere, honest? :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RighttotheCore In reply to CookieNinjaKiller [2010-10-12 20:02:07 +0000 UTC]
aw, thanks love.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
BeatingMyHeart [2010-10-09 18:37:20 +0000 UTC]
i like this the way it is, too. you've got a way of stringing together words to make them so upsetting, and so beautiful, all at the same time. wonderful piece. :]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Starry-Owl [2010-10-04 08:24:56 +0000 UTC]
This is really beautiful, and sort of peaceful, almost. I feel as though I can relate, as well... Great writing,
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RighttotheCore In reply to Squirrelshters [2010-09-05 02:16:55 +0000 UTC]
aw, thank you so much. <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Squirrelshters In reply to RighttotheCore [2010-09-05 03:08:41 +0000 UTC]
you're welcome^^ you have a way with words
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MusikFreak13 [2010-09-02 21:14:15 +0000 UTC]
wow this is great. and yes you should continue this. it would be brilliant. and i had no clue there were so many les and gay clubs on here. wow. that makes me happy
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RighttotheCore In reply to Stargirl-101 [2010-09-02 16:35:47 +0000 UTC]
thank you so much. <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Stargirl-101 In reply to RighttotheCore [2010-09-02 17:20:33 +0000 UTC]
no problem it was beautuful
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
puppetwaker [2010-09-02 16:10:43 +0000 UTC]
This is beautiful. Punctuation is a little absent, but still understandable. Your description is wonderful. Reading more would put a smile on my face. :3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sardoza [2010-09-02 15:46:06 +0000 UTC]
Very well done, there are a few issues witht the commas as well as one situation where you use a regular dash where there should be an em-dash.
There's also the lack of capitalization but, since I'm a stickler for it, and that may have been your intention, we'll ignore that.
As I said, however; this is overall very well-done, and I deffinately believe that you should continue this. It would make an excellent story.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RighttotheCore In reply to Sardoza [2010-09-02 16:23:52 +0000 UTC]
i'm aware nothing is capitalized, it's my intention.
and thank you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
melisshaa In reply to RighttotheCore [2010-09-02 11:54:15 +0000 UTC]
i love it.
it like almost made me cry.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
melisshaa In reply to RighttotheCore [2010-09-03 07:22:42 +0000 UTC]
because i dont really know why but it wasnt because it was bad or anything (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
RighttotheCore In reply to AlextheHedgehog16 [2010-09-02 11:16:50 +0000 UTC]
that means you just fell in love with my life.
haha.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Still-Dreams [2010-09-02 08:11:33 +0000 UTC]
I would love to see this continued.
The story is very unique.
Defiantly going to check your gallery
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RighttotheCore In reply to Still-Dreams [2010-09-02 11:17:39 +0000 UTC]
it's probably unique because i'm writing it based on things that happen between her and me in real life. (:
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Still-Dreams In reply to RighttotheCore [2010-09-02 11:30:10 +0000 UTC]
Proabably, Which is also why I enjoy most of your
work because most seem based on real life experinces
Which, for me personally can be really hard to do.
Heh,even now Im trying to work up the courage
to post something personal.
I love your work and look forward to seeing more. =]
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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