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Robot972 — Pyro vs Mei DEATH BATTLE [NSFW]
#mei #overwatch #pyro #teamfortress #tf2 #teamfortress2 #team_fortress_2 #teamfortress2pyro #tf2pyro #pyroteamfortress2 #tf2_pyro #mei_ling_zhou #deathbattle #deathbattlescrewattack
Published: 2017-10-22 14:10:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 2418; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 0
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Description   Sparks: Alright, the elements are ready, and the combatants are set to go.
  Robot972: It’s time… FOR A DEATH BATTLE!
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  Mei was a few miles away from a town, located quite some distance away from the nearest city, where she was told a pyromaniac bioterrorist was going. Mei sighs before resting her head against the headrest of the driver’s seat.
  “Doesn’t anyone care about the environment anymore?”
  A few seconds pass before Mei slams her foot on the brake pedal, stopping the vehicle. Mei quickly leans forward and looks out the front window towards the sky, having spotted a giant plume of smoke. Mei follows the trail to the horizon and realizes it’s coming from her destination.
  “He’s already there!”
  Mei quickly drives off, following the smoke.
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  Mei pulls out her Endothermic Blaster as she tries to put out the flames that are destroying the town. Mei grabs Snowball and throws the drone into a pathway intersection, where the drone puts out the nearby flames with giant gusts of wind.
  “This is worse than I thought!”
  Mei and Snowball continue through the town, putting out the flames, before they come upon a gruesome sight. Mei rushes around, checking each mutilated body to see if anyone could have survived.
  “Whoever did this… They murdered everyone…”
  Mei stands up as she looks at Snowball.
  “We have to put out the flames, then gather the bodies.”
----------
(Pyroland)
  Pyro skips around Pyroland, giggling happily as the Rainblower spews rainbows and flowers everywhere. Sadly, Pyro’s playmates grew tired from playing and they had to take a nap, but Pyro set off to find more friends.
  As Pyro skips around, he came upon a horrible sight.
  A troll was burning some flowers with flame breath! There was also a mini-demon following her, which was also destroying flowers with blasts of fire.
  The troll looks up when she notices Pyro and starts laughing. “I’m going to destroy this world, and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
  Pyro pulls out his Lollichop. He needs to stop these two!
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  Mei growls under her breath in frustration.
  “Is any of this getting to you?! What’s wrong with you?!”
  Mei looks at the Pyro in confusion as she watches it pull out a fire axe.
  “What are you-”
  Ice appears under Mei’s feet as she slides backward, barely avoiding the thing’s attempt to bury his axe into her skull.
  “Y-you tried to kill me! Grrr...That’s it, I am done being nice about this!”
  Mei grabs her Endothermic Blaster and points it at Pyro as the thing finishes positioning himself, aiming the Scorch Shot at her.
FIGHT!
  Pyro fires a flare, though Mei slides out of the way before activating her Endothermic Blaster, which fires a stream of ice. Before the ice reaches Pyro, it pulls out the Backburner, halting the ice with fire.
  Pyro lets out muffled noise as it takes a step towards Mei, their elements still locked in a struggle for dominance.
  Pyro leaps to the side before sprinting forward with the Powerjack overhead. Mei aims her Endothermic Blaster again before firing a piece of ice at the charging Pyro, throwing it back.
  Pyro quickly gets up before sprinting off into the burning streets. Mei looks on in frustration, before skating after him, freezing whatever fire gets in her way.
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(Pyroland)
  Pyro hides in one of the many presents. Maybe he can launch a surprise attack. The lollipop couldn’t do the job, so maybe Baby Scout’s cuteness would?
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  Mei looks around as she walks between burning buildings.
  “Mrrphmrr!”
  Pyro lunges out of a burning building, holding a spine with a skull attached. The skull’s wearing the hat and headset of the Scout. Pyro smashes the skull against Mei’s head, which throws her into the building next to her.
  Mei struggles to stand up, staring at the monster as he approaches the giant hole in the wall, still holding the burnt skull.
  Mei pulls out her Endothermic Blaster, and creates an Ice Wall in front of the hole, blocking off Pyro. Mei activates Cyro-freeze to start healing.
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(Pyroland)
  Darn! She ran away from Baby Scout and hid in a present. And now she’s blocked the path with an anti-fun wall!
  “Mrph mrr!” Pyro pulls out a different Rainblower and fires a small stream of rainbows at the wall, burning a slight dent in the wall. “Mrrmmph mphr!”
  Pyro advances, burning a hole just big enough for them to walk through.
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  Pyro reaches about halfway through the wall before it disappears. Pyro looks around in confusion, before it looks at Mei, who breaks free of her Cryo-Freeze.
  Mei slides to the side, barely avoiding the Fire Axe that that’s thrown at her, before she pulls the trigger on her Endothermic Blaster, firing a chunk of ice. Pyro fires a gust of wind at the projectile before it could hit, which throws the projectile back at Mei. Pyro pulls out his Flare Gun and Detonator, pointing the two flare guns at Mei.
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(Pyroland)
  “Mrphmmr!” Pyro chants happily as it fires the candy guns at the Mei, though she dodges the wrapped candy blasts by gliding to the side after summoning a larger pair of the mini-demon’s wings. However, one of the candy blasts explodes into a shower of sweets and the troll catches a few sweets, distracting her.
  Pyro throws a large flower at Mei, which wraps its roots around her shoulder and arm and starts tickling her. Flower seeds fall off the big flower and land on Mei, before growing into happy flowers. Mei starts laughing uncontrollably as the many flowers tickle her.
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  Mei screams in pain as the Sharpened Volcano Fragment digs into her shoulder and ignites her and her clothing. Snowball comes out and puts out the flames with a gust of wind, while Mei pulls the axe out of her shoulder.
  Mei looks up and briefly stares down the barrel of the Shotgun in shock. Before Pyro can pull the trigger, Snowball knocks the barrel off target. Mei puts a hand over her heart and squeezes that part of her parka as Pyro pulls out his Homewrecker and chases Snowball, trying to strike it down.
  Mei recovers from her fright and fires a chunk of ice at Pyro. It strikes Pyro moments before it would have hit Snowball with the Homewrecker, throwing Pyro through the wall it was running by. Mei runs toward the wall, standing in the hole in the wall, only a few feet away from Pyro, and fires a stream of ice at it. Pyro’s movements slow down as it stands up and turns to face Mei. Pyro tries to pull out the Scorched Shot, before he's frozen solid, pointing the flare gun at Mei.
  Mei takes a few seconds to gather her thoughts on how to address this maniac, before she grabs her Endothermic Blaster and points it at Pyro. The ceiling creaks above Mei, and she has to jump outside to avoid being crushed by the falling debri.
  Mei points the Endothermic Blaster at Pyro, and the cartoon trope where Pyro’s image blinks in and out of a dotted outline of Pyro in the spot where he used to be occurs, and Mei looks around frantically. “Where did they go?!”
  Mei holds her gun, ready to fire, as she starts walking around, looking for the… thing that somehow escaped.
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(Pyroland)
  As the troll stomps around, Pyro slowly lifts up the present lid and peeks out. Pyro can’t let her see it, as he's going to launch another surprise and he's waiting for the perfect moment.
  Pyro watches her turn and walk right past his box. It ducks back in and closes the box as Mei looks over.
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  Mei, terrified, but still wanting to stop this threat, walks toward the building where she saw Pyro’s mask disappear into the flames. Mei points her blaster forward and puts out the flames, before entering the building through the giant hole. Mei cautiously steps over the planks and ceiling pieces as she looks around, trying to make sure she’s not caught off guard.
  Pyro, hiding in the flames in the back, pulls out the Scorch Shot. The masked mercenary takes a step back with his left foot, and aims the flare gun toward Mei once again.
  Mei, who’s putting out more flames in one of the back corners of the building, looks around the hallowed building again. She notices a glint in the other engulfed back corner before her eyes widen in fear. She becomes engulfed in ice, and the flare bursts on impact. However, the Cryo-Freeze is left only slightly dented.
  Mei breaks out of the Cryo-Freeze and fires a blast of ice at Pyro again, before activating the ice stream again, freezing Pyro in the corner. Mei runs over to the wall next to Pyro and punches it, before she jumps out of the building as the rest of it caves in.
  Mei sighs in relief as she stands up and turns to look at the collapsed building. After a few moments, she turns to leave, before hearing some wood move around. “What?! How much does it take to get rid of you!?”
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(Pyroland)
  Pyro escapes the weight of the crushed box and stands up. Pyro looks over at the troll, and watches her grab the mini-demon. Pyro pulls out his Rainblower before it drops it and puts one of his gloved hands in front of his gas mask and spews rainbows in the air
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  As Mei lets go of Snowball, she watches Pyro spew flames from his gas mask. “THEY CAN BREATH FIRE!?”
  Snowball sails forward as Pyro’s head snaps to stare straight at the small robot. Flames burst out of the ground around Pyro and the flames in front strike Snowball, throwing the small robot back slightly and leaving a very slight burn mark on his bottom side, before Pyro pulls out the Homewrecker and smacks Snowball back toward Mei.
  Mei grabs her Endothermic Blaster as Snowball flies back toward her, and fires at the ground, creating an Ice Wall underneath herself as Snowball activates Blizzard, spewing giant freezing gusts of wind.
  Pyro pulls out his Manmelter and fires a shot towards Mei, who destroys the Ice Wall below her and drops into Snowball’s Blizzard.
  Mei covers her face as she feels herself slowing slightly. Snowball stops spraying the ground below it and floats down, before looking around for Mei and the Pyro. Snowball floats over to Mei as Mei recovers from the accidental attack.
  Pyro takes this opportunity to sneak up on Mei with the Neon in hand. Pyro pulls the sign overhead before it swings down, only to be met with a small blast of ice from Snowball, which throws the Neon aside. Pyro looks at the sign as it slides along the ground, before he looks back at Snowball.
  Mei lets out a battle cry as she punches Pyro in the face, knocking it back, before Pyro rubs the cheek of his mask.
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(Pyroland)
  Pyro pulls his hand up and gives the waiting troll a high five, before they bounce up and down, clapping and giggling in sync.
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  Pyro stops clapping as he looks at Mei, who’s holding a hand over her broken nose. She looks up at Pyro before she punches him again. She grabs her Endothermic Blaster and fires a stream of ice at Pyro, though Pyro jumps back and equips the Thermal Thruster and Hot hand. Pyro activates the jetpack, and as a result is sent hurtling at Mei. Pyro slaps Mei as he flies past her. Pyro then blasts back toward her and kicks her in the back, which throws her forward.
  Pyro grabs the Gas Passer and sprints toward Mei. Pyro spills out a cloud of gas above Mei, which attaches itself to her parka. Pyro then pulls out his Shotgun and fires a blast of bullets at Mei, causing the gas to ignite. Pyro wastes no time pulling out the Dragon’s Fury, and fires a shot at Mei, throwing her forward again. Mei manages to slide out of the way of another attack and pulls out her Endothermic Blaster. Mei fires the stream at Pyro, who counters with his Flamethrower.
  Mei and Pyro both take a step forward, before they stop their attacks. Pyro pulls out the Panic Attack as Mei reloads. They face each other again, guns pointed at each other. They let out a battle cry as they fire their guns at each other, the Panic Attack spraying bullets in all directions as Pyro’s slowed down by the ice stream.
  Several bullets land their mark, piercing Mei’s parka as Pyro’s frozen solid. Mei fires an icicle at Pyro before encasing herself in a Cryo-Freeze.
  Flames burst out around Pyro and melt the ice, before Pyro grabs the Scorch Shot and faces Mei, waiting for her to break out.
  Once she does, a flare strikes her in the face, throwing her back and igniting her. Snowball comes out of its charger and tries to put out the flames, but Pyro strikes the robot away with the Homewrecker. Pyro runs after Snowball again, hitting it with the hammer repeatedly.
  Mei manages to get up and turns to face Pyro, who’s holding a dented, sparking Snowball. Pyro looks at Mei before loading Snowball into the Phlogistinator, which is emitting red sparking flames in the nozzle. Pyro raises the flamethrower above his head while chanting “Mmmph!” as Pyro and the Phlogistinator turn completely red and red shockwaves burst out from around Pyro’s feet. As Pyro lowers the flamethrower to face Mei, his redness fades, and the flamethrower starts glowing a very bright red.
  Pyro sprints forward, spraying flames before it. Mei fires an icicle at Pyro, but it melts away while travelling through the Phlogistinator’s flames.
  Mei tries to match the flames with her Endothermic Blaster, but the flames quickly overpower the ice stream, burning at Mei and her parka. The flamethrower stops glowing and Pyro pulls out the Postal Pummeler, but Mei pushes Pyro back with an icicle. Pyro quickly recovers, and uses the Thermal Thruster to fly towards Mei as he swings the Postal Pummeler, smashing in most of Mei’s ribs and throwing her back.
  Pyro flies toward her and drops down, crushing her ribcage further. Pyro jumps forward and swings the Postal Pummeler down in an attempt to crush Mei’s head, though she manages to block it with her arm, resulting in it breaking.
  As Mei writhes in pain, Pyro steps away and pulls out a jerrycan full of gasoline.
  He then proceeds to skip around merrily, pouring the gasoline on and around Mei in the shape of a combined TF2 and Overwatch logo.
  After he empties the jerrycan, Pyro throws it aside. Pyro pulls out a pink balloon with other marks on it, before he blows it up and shapes it into a Balloonicorn. Pyro lets go of it as it floats over to Mei, before Pyro pulls out a lighter.
  Pyro tosses the lighter toward Mei, and the gasoline lights up instantly, creating a massive inferno. Mei’s screams die out slowly as the flames continue burning away.
KO!
  The screen splits into two, the left side showing Pyroland, where Pyro and a Baby Mei are bouncing around happily, and the right side showing Pyro roasting a sausage over the burning corpse of Mei with Snowball laying broken next to the Phlogistinator and Thermal Thruster.
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  Robot972: WHOO-HOO! Barbecue!
  Sparks: While Mei may have been a very tough fighter, Pyro just held most of the advantages here.
  Robot972: Mei’s Cyro-Freeze and Ice Wall would definitely provide a tough obstacle for Pyro to surpass, seeing as the Cyro-Freeze makes her completely, although only in the gameplay, invulnerable as she heals all the way back to full health. Even if we give Mei that invulnerability instead of letting physics do its work, Pyro still can keep up with this healing hax.
  Sparks: Pyro easily holds strength and durability, with speed being debatable, and while we may not know how long either of them have been in combat, it’s far safer to say that Pyro has more experience than Mei.
  Robot972: Before Overwatch’s recall, the only thing Mei fought against was climate change. Mei didn’t start actual combat until after she broke out of the cryostasis, only a short time before the present time of the game. That’s likely only a few years at most.
  Sparks: Pyro, on the other hand, while we may not know his backstory, was a mercenary long before the mercs were hired by Redmond and Blutarch, and continued to fight under Mann Co.’s management for at least another 4 years, having fought through events like the year-long Robot War, Merasmus’ constant appearances, and the Bread Monster dilemma.
  Robot972: As for strength and durability, Pyro was easily able to mutilate the skull of the Russian Bear, which is not only one of the strongest species of bear, but also Eurasia’s largest bear. He also launched the bone shards far enough that they could hit Soldier, who was standing several yards away.
  Sparks: We were unable to find out just how much strength this takes, but seeing how Mei is practically featless in strength, there’s reason to believe she doesn’t compare to Pyro.
  Robot972: The same goes for durability. Mei hasn’t actually had to face being shot as far as we know. The gameplay of Overwatch is non-canon, after all. So we don’t actually know how durable Mei is. Pyro, on the other hand, actually had to face and shrug off getting shot, blown up, and beaten every day while fighting with the mercs.
  Sparks: Even if we take their healths into consideration and scale them to the characters equal to and below their healths, Pyro still wins, due to three rockets landing directly next to you and exploding is far more powerful than a couple gorilla punches..
  Robot972: Both combatants can fight in conditions similar to the other’s element, but here’s the catch. Mei’s never fought a pyromancer or a person with a flamethrower. The closest her situation has been was not being bothered by fighting in heat. Pyro, on the other hand, shrugged off the temperature of, and fought a Russian Brown Bear in, the Siberian Mountains. Siberia has an average annual temperature of -5 degrees Celsius, or 23 degrees Fahrenheit. That may not be the same as Mei’s subzero Endothermic Blaster, but it’s still FAR closer than Mei fighting in a slightly hot environment.
  Sparks: So, with strength, durability, experience, and versatility being locked under his belt, and speed being debatable, this victory is pretty clear cut.
  Robot972: In the end, Mei’s chances at victory went up in smoke.
  Sparks: The winner is Pyro.
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Comments: 12

Red-Cord-Player [2020-07-07 23:55:53 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheNerd-Bot [2017-12-13 22:14:24 +0000 UTC]

This fight was just as I imagined it. Love the exchanges between the real world and Pyroland!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Robot972 In reply to TheNerd-Bot [2017-12-14 03:24:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^^

I got the idea from a Pyro vs Charizard fight (I can’t remember who posted it), and I tried to do it as well as I could. Glad you liked it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

HooDini4 [2017-10-22 17:30:03 +0000 UTC]

So Pyro won at the end, huh? It was a very good fight, and I 100% agree with the results.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Robot972 In reply to HooDini4 [2017-10-22 18:30:12 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

flyscratch [2017-10-22 14:11:24 +0000 UTC]

i think i might recruit pyro for my superhero team

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Robot972 In reply to flyscratch [2017-10-22 14:12:31 +0000 UTC]

Jesus, that was quick .-.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

flyscratch In reply to Robot972 [2017-10-22 14:20:19 +0000 UTC]

i am a fast reader can't wait to see what battle is next

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Robot972 In reply to flyscratch [2017-10-22 14:21:58 +0000 UTC]

Well then. I have a bunch of fights that are mostly complete, so I'm hoping that before the Halloween battle(s), I can get one or two more finished and uploaded (they may or may not be more tf2 fights...?)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

flyscratch In reply to Robot972 [2017-10-22 15:08:48 +0000 UTC]

okay like i said i need to recruit pyro to my superhero team the force

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Robot972 In reply to flyscratch [2017-10-22 17:20:45 +0000 UTC]

Cool ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

flyscratch In reply to Robot972 [2017-10-22 18:34:03 +0000 UTC]

yeah along with dementia and squirrel girl

👍: 0 ⏩: 0