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Published: 2005-04-13 00:57:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 154; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 2
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(The not-so-fictional journey)“Ouch,” Stephen mumbled as he awoke to find the dragon beached and sleeping on the bank of the Amazon, as well as a native starring at him not more than three feet away. “Geez, man!” he exclaimed, “Don’t ya know it isn’t nice to stare at people?” The native mumbled something under his breath that sounded something like, “Estupido Americano!” At this point, Katherine came running up the bank hollering Stephen’s name. She came upon a bright blue sparkling dragon that very closely resembled the dragon hoodie Stephen owned. (1) “Oh, aren’t you cute,” said Katherine to the dragon who replied, “you’re looking fabulous yourself bunny rabbit!” in a somewhat sarcastic tone (they were both suffering from malaria, causing these hallucinations). Then, realizing who they each were, they exclaimed each other’s name and embraced. “This is dreadful,” Katherine cried, “we need to find some help, or we could die!” “Yea, no kidding,” Stephen replied, “We should have gotten our shots back in the states.”
Just then, Sr. Sarlo came riding up the river in his motorboat (which I don’t believe are permitted, but he didn’t care). “Sr. Sarlo!” Katherine and Stephen exclaimed in joy and bowing reverently. “Hola, comó estan?” asked Sr. Sarlo. “Muy mal,” replied Stephen, “nosotros tenemos malaria.” “Nonsense!” cried Sr. Sarlo, switching back to English with his heavy and amusing accent, “you’re just sick from that seafood ice cream that you ate. I’ve decided not to sell it anymore.” “Well that’s good to know,” said Stephen, “for a minute there, I thought we were in serious trouble.” “By the way,” he asked, “ How did you know we were here?” “Well,” said Sr. Sarlo, “When Katherine came back to get her squid cone, she mentioned that you were going to ride the Amazon on your; what do you call it?” “Water dragon,” Katherine replied. “Yes, your water dragon, and I realized that my ice cream could make you very sick, so I brought the cure.” “What would that be?” Katherine asked eagerly. “Pepto Bismol!” exclaimed Sr. Sarlo. “Ugh! I hate that stuff!” they said in unison. The taste was foul, but they both managed to gulp it down, and they both felt better afterwards. “Well, it’s time I left,” said Sr. Sarlo, “Since I’m not selling ice cream anymore, I joined this boat and became a short-order cook. I believe the guy’s name was Chris something, but I can’t remember. He had a bunch of girls named Diana on there and he loves to watch ‘Das Boot’ the movie.” (3) He got onto his boat yelling “Adios!” as he sailed up the river.
“Well, what do we do now?” asked Katherine. “Well, lets get out of here,” replied Stephen, “I don’t really want to catch malaria, but we first have to wake our dragon up.” They walked over to the dragon, which happened to still be fast asleep. They poked, nudged, prodded, whistled, and made loud noises, but nothing seemed to wake the dragon up. Finally, Katherine came up with an idea. “I know!” she exclaimed and ran back to where they had met Sr. Sarlo. A few moments later, she returned with a half-full bottle of Pepto Bismol bottle. She jammed it into the dragon’s mouth and poured it down its throat. The dragon’s eyes bulged and it woke up coughing. “Well, that worked,” remarked Katherine. Soon, they were on the back of the dragon flying through the air. Though they did not know where they were going, the trip went smoothly. To add some excitement, Stephen would pretend to be depressed of Katherine’s company and pretend to throw himself from the dragon. She would counter with looking sorrowful and crying, “I love you Stephen!!!” over and over. Of course it was all good fun, and it helped to pass the time. (2)
They finally ended up in a small European town, which was actually quite odd. Monks would walk through the streets moaning some prayer and smacking themselves on the head as they walked. There were also people who carried out carts with dead bodies in them calling out, “Bring out cha’ dead!” It wasn’t a very happy site. On top of that, there was a so-called King riding through trying to find “The Holy Grail”. Katherine and Stephen decided that this town needed their help, and went to work shearing sheep to make clothes for the homeless people (and practically everybody there was homeless, so they had their work cut out for them). (4)
Finally, after the town had been properly fitted with bright color, tie-dye clothing, (Katherine got a little excited with the dying vats) they set off once again. Katherine insisted on going to New Zealand next, claiming that it was beautiful this time of year (New Zealand is actually beautiful all of the time, but it was a good excuse as any). When they landed, they noticed something very particular; they were not in New Zealand, but rather Middle Earth!
What will happen to Katherine and Stephen in Middle Earth?
To be continued…
(1) As mentioned in previous stories, ~AMatchFor10000 had written a story about my fabulous hoodie. It’s actually quite comfortable and nice with a rather large dragon on the back.
(2) Ahh, yes, the wonderful days of geo/trig. Mrs. Hopkins was a wonderful teacher (much better than Yates-argh, I hate that woman) however, could be a tad on the boring side, so Katherine and myself would occupy our time by me acting depressed if she fussed at me, causing her to pout and try and cheer me up. Good times.
(3) One of Chris’s favorite movies is “Das Boot” which is insanely long and really not that good, but as long as he’s happy, that’s fine.
(4) The town is merely Monty Python-esque, because it was apparently still in the dark ages.