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rosesburnA Lesson On Brick Care
Published: 2006-02-24 11:12:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 11885; Favourites: 284; Downloads: 3541
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Description Bricks are excellent pets. As well as being cheap, clean and easy to care for, they are extremely long-lived. They are extraordinarily loyal and have few requirements for housing and feed. They are very hardy, do not trigger allergies and extremely easy to tame. They rarely scratch, but can be a nuisance if left underfoot. However, with proper treatment, you and your brick should have a long and loving relationship. The most common brick is the Common House Brick (brickus brickus), which is normally a red colour. They also appear as other colours, ranging from a creamy-white, to black. Brown is another popular colouration, as there are many shades of brown bricks. The more unusual a brick is in colour, the more expensive.

Bricks have been associated with humans for many years, but are most often used as working bricks. They have only recently been adapted as pets. Closely related to the brick is the rock (rockus granus), which has become quite popular as a pet in recent decades. Hopefully, the brick shall follow its course.

The ancient brick has developed into the brick we know today. Today, breeders aim for hardiness and longevity, as well as resistence to water.

In the following simple guide, I, Bob, Leader of the International Brick Rescue, will teach you how to care for your brick.


Step 1: Choosing Your Brick
Firstly, we strongly encourage adopting abandoned or mistreated bricks. If not, take a walk around your local neighbourhood to see if you can find a feral brick. Just be sure that it is actually abandoned and does not belong to someone. Feral bricks are often timid, hiding amongst plant life, but with a bit of tender loving care, they can be tamed into wonderful pets. Alternatively, if you're looking for fancier bricks, the local brick-store is a good place to start. When choosing a brick, look for one that is free from any chips or cracks and has a nice, even colour. Also look out for lichen and other blemishes which are very unattractive in bricks. The brick should allow you to pet it, and be friendly. Once you have picked your new brick (or rescued an abandoned brick), find it a name and head on home.

Step 2: Bringing Home Your New Brick
When you first bring home a brick, there is no need to quarantine it as with other animals, as bricks rarely carry disease. As long as your brick appears healthy, it is safe to put with other animals/bricks. If in doubt, keep the brick seperate for a few days and monitor it closely.

Step 3: Bricks And Other Pets
Remember, bricks are very social. When left alone, bricks get very miserable and may have health problems. If you did not adopt two or more bricks, another animal makes a very good companion. Rodents such as rats and mice particularly seem to get along with bricks. When introducing bricks to one another, or other pets, make sure they are introduced in neutral territory. Monitor them in case a fight starts. If this occurs, firmly seperate the brick from the other animal/brick. It is normal for the brick and other animal/brick to investigate each other, and this may include climbing on one another, touching and sniffing. Bricks may be intimidated by larger animals, but they are normally very good at handling confrontations. If the introductions go well, your new brick and the other brick/animal can be kept together in the same enclosure/cage. It is not wise to introduce male and female bricks, as mating may occur.

Step 4: Housing Your Brick
Bricks are very adaptable. They do not require much in the way of housing; a simple clean and dry environment is enough. They like to have a little bit of space to move around and play. They can even be left to roam free in your house, like a dog, as they cause very little trouble when properly trained. Most bricks are not very fond of water or other liquids; they absorb all liquid they need through regular bathing. Keep them in a nice dry place. They are not bothered by temperature, and easily adapt to hot and cold weather.

Step 5: The Brick Diet
Bricks do not require much in the way of food. In fact, they absorb all nutrients they need from air and water, as plants do. A once-a-week bath will ensure the health of your brick.

Step 6: Bathing Your Brick
Bricks need to be bathed once a fortnight, or weekly. Holding your brick firmly, spray it with water. Then you can easily scrub it if it's very dirty, or wipe it with an old flannel if it's cleaner. Then allow your brick to sunbathe outside to dry off.

Step 7: Training And Handling
Be careful when handling your brick. You should never pick your brick up by the corner, as it's an unreliable hold and dropping your brick could result in fatal injury. Hold the brick firmly, with both hands if possible, around the belly. Bricks are quite heavy, and could injure you, too, if dropped. If your brick is behaving in an unresponsive way, use the forced socialization method. To do this, hold your brick for a minimum of 20 minutes a day. Talk to it, pet it, show it you love it. Bricks are very easy to train. With a little love and affection, the brick will willingly do whatever you ask of it.


So there you have it. Go out and save some bricks.
Sincerely,
Bob
IBR Leader
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Comments: 244

darkevul [2006-03-08 08:31:57 +0000 UTC]

wow this is extremely well written! well done, i love it!

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Cuillioc [2006-03-08 04:47:29 +0000 UTC]

Utterly hilarious, and when you read it, you could just about substitute any animal name for "brick", and that's your basic care for any creature. (And isn't it amazing how many people mistreat their pets despite this simplicity?)

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rosesburn In reply to Cuillioc [2006-03-08 05:10:06 +0000 UTC]

That was the intention -although I wish people luck finding the corners on a cat.

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Threshie In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 04:09:11 +0000 UTC]

XDDDDDDD I love it! Hehehehe....I especially like the line 'Remember, bricks are very social. When left alone, bricks get very miserable and may have health problems.'

And, I believe the site you may have based this one (it has the same flair for being informative and serious and using 'Latin' names, as well as giving the 'animal's history) would be the Traffic Cone Preservation Society, the main page of which cane be found here:

[link]

(Just in case you didn't base this on it, and would like to read something similar!)

Thanks for sharing this highly amusing piece of creativity that inspires seeing an ordinary thing from a new and sympathetic, even fond perspective.

~Threshie

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rosesburn In reply to Threshie [2006-03-08 05:57:20 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, no, I hadn't seen that site, but thanks for the link. It's great!
Glad I could amuse you!

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Threshie In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 06:09:17 +0000 UTC]

*grinz* Glad I could spread the amusement that is the Traffic Cone Preservation Society. ^~ Heheh.

Keep on creating!

~Threshie

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rosesburn In reply to Threshie [2006-03-08 07:13:39 +0000 UTC]

Shall do!

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pikeletxo [2006-03-08 04:07:14 +0000 UTC]

I'm gonna pick up a brick on my next walk and style it up real nice now.

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m00nl4dy In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 04:01:24 +0000 UTC]

LOL...great one...pretty funny ^^ *goes out and adopts a brick* meet my brick pet Ron!!

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rosesburn In reply to m00nl4dy [2006-03-08 05:57:43 +0000 UTC]

Heh, nice name!

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Apoc4lypse In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 03:37:27 +0000 UTC]

O_o

sorry, I find it funny, but to go that in depth on something so mondaine and random lol... haha nice.

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Harry4Hermy [2006-03-08 03:25:09 +0000 UTC]

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!!!

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Paira In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 03:22:12 +0000 UTC]

Hm... I suddenly have an urge to go out and adopt a brick. Though, I'm not sure how well a ferral brick would interact with my litter of young rocks.

I can't tell you how much I loved reading this. The humor is subtle, but effective. And the images that were going through my head... It was like something out of a pet care doco. Serious, yet silly. Haha, brilliant.

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rosesburn In reply to Paira [2006-03-08 04:05:01 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'll make a movie about it one day.
Thanks.

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burstintoflame [2006-03-08 02:55:14 +0000 UTC]

Haha! Splendid, bricks are the new pet rocks!

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BenjaminOssoff [2006-03-08 02:41:30 +0000 UTC]

I'm going to go get a brick for a pet!!!

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Ryandake [2006-03-08 02:28:08 +0000 UTC]

very funny... you should submit it to a pet magazine, i bet they'd pay actual real money!

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rosesburn In reply to Ryandake [2006-03-08 04:05:28 +0000 UTC]

That'd be good, I could use the cash, lol!
Thanks.

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DarkfiresDeath In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 02:27:59 +0000 UTC]

most amazing thing ever. I don't think I've laughed so much! s all around!

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baby-alien91 [2006-03-08 02:13:44 +0000 UTC]

I'm totally going to take a picture of me with my pet brick and send it to you.

Thank you sir, your guide has helped my brick and I to build (hah) a stable, loving relationship. It got along well with my two cats, although it did try to pick a fight or two. It learned quick enough though.

Also, my house hippo was delighted to have a new "pal," and the two are now best of friends

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rosesburn In reply to baby-alien91 [2006-03-08 04:08:08 +0000 UTC]

I would be glad to see your pet brick. I am pleased to hear it has found a happy home with you!

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baby-alien91 In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-11 03:08:25 +0000 UTC]

Oh indeed. We are the best of friends. I may even send you a picture sometime.

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 02:00:09 +0000 UTC]

Have you ever seen a peculiar Irish sitcom called Father Ted? There's actually an episode where a very old and senile but rather malicious priest called Father Jack adopts a pet brick which he drags around with him on a string. One of the few coherent things he ever says in the entire show is 'I LOVE MY BRICK!' But then, of course, the main reason he loves it is that he can convince it to roost in the middle of the floor so other people will trip over it.

Anyway, that's by the by. This is utterly fantastic - many congratulations on your DD!

PS: That rattie in your avatar is cute, is it yours?

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 04:12:23 +0000 UTC]

No, I haven't seen that sitcom, although now you've told me about it I want to. I'll have to try and find it, when I get the time.
Thanks very much, and yes, that's my Kuza-rat!

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 04:18:41 +0000 UTC]

I'm pretty convinced that you'd adore it. And ayeee, I love rats! I had two for a few years but I had to give them away because student housing didn't allow pets. Neapolitan and Rafaello, Neo and Raffles for short...a black hooded and a fawn hooded (who looked very similar to the one in your Pumpkin Time deviation, but with a lighter fawn.) Your Kuza-rat is an albino, yes?

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 05:14:18 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, Kuza's albino. It's a pity you had to give yours away, they make such good pets. I'm very much a rat-lover, as is obvious by the amount of rat photos in my gallery.
Thanks for looking through it, by the way. I appreciate it!

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 08:21:41 +0000 UTC]

They do! I suppose in a way it was for the best, since I was mildly allergic to them and got a rash on my hands after playing with them, but I loved them enough not to care. Maybe one day I'll research it properly and find rats that won't do that to me. And then I shall LUFFLE them.

Oh, no problem! I nearly squealed when I saw how many of them you had! But I decided to only comment on two or three, otherwise you would've been here all night, and I figured you had enough to deal with in the DD anyway.

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 08:36:03 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I know a few people who are allergic to them, which is kinda a pity, since they're such good pets. There's always ointments and things, but they don't always help. You could always try hairless rats, lol!
And yeah... I've been going through the 250+ comments/faves, nearly though them all now... It's only taken me three hours.

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 09:47:02 +0000 UTC]

I could...I think that might get a little strange, though. But the worst was when my two managed to get mites from somewhere. Have you ever had to take yours to the vet? It cost me upwards of $200, and I'd just been kicked out of home. Don't let them get mites!

Three hours! Are you Wonderwoman or what? I remember I didn't get around to answering some of the comments on my poetry DD for three months!

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 10:02:41 +0000 UTC]

Ugh, yeah, I've spent at least $500 on vet bills. My eldest rat had a tumour removed a month or so ago, it cost me $210...
And yeah... I don't like having heaps of messages in my message centre... and since I don't have much else to do, I figured I may as well get them out of the way! Still slightly overwhelmed by the whole DD thing though. *collapse*

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 14:27:44 +0000 UTC]

Aren't the statistics for elderly rats and tumours at something like 95% will have one at some stage?

DDs are meant to be overwhelming. That's why they're so much fun!

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 21:26:06 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, they are prone to tumours, unfortunately. They're not cheap pets, despite the fact that I only paid $7 for her at first...

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-09 00:43:47 +0000 UTC]

And $70 for the cage?

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rosesburn In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-09 00:50:17 +0000 UTC]

Lol, $100, actually. I got a bigger cage.

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tainted-marrow In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 04:03:50 +0000 UTC]

oh my gosh, that program is so damn funny. i have yet to see an episode where he says anything coherent, but i like the one where veryone thinks that ted is racist. . .heh.. . good times. . .

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phantoms-siren In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-08 05:53:27 +0000 UTC]

theres one where he sobers up called 'Cigarettes and Alcohol and Rollerblading', funniest episode of them all.

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tainted-marrow In reply to phantoms-siren [2006-03-08 06:42:59 +0000 UTC]

wow, ill have to watch that one. . .

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-08 04:16:31 +0000 UTC]

Oh, that's a classic!

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tainted-marrow In reply to zebrazebrazebra [2006-03-08 04:17:54 +0000 UTC]

whats a classic?

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zebrazebrazebra In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-08 04:27:36 +0000 UTC]

That episode of Father Ted where they think he's a racist is a classic.

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TheCoffeeAddict In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 01:54:17 +0000 UTC]

This is one of the greatest things I have ever read! Congrats on the DD... very well deserved.

I want a pet brick now...

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rosesburn In reply to TheCoffeeAddict [2006-03-08 04:12:52 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thank you.

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LaPointeVArt In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 01:47:26 +0000 UTC]

hehehe funny

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Phact [2006-03-08 01:31:25 +0000 UTC]

xD Now I know what to get my friend for her next birthday! (she's allergic to fur and feathers) This is great, and very clever. Good job on this! ^^

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rosesburn In reply to Phact [2006-03-08 04:14:07 +0000 UTC]

See, I'm sure your friend will greatly appreciate a pet she can actually hold without sneezing!
Thanks!

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Phact In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-16 23:41:56 +0000 UTC]

xD I printed this out for her. I'm definately getting her a brick for her b-day!

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rosesburn In reply to Phact [2006-03-18 04:28:18 +0000 UTC]

Haha, awesome.

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Kimaero In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 01:25:39 +0000 UTC]

I REALLY DO LOVE BRICK.

The weatherman and the object. I have two of my own. One's a redstone/cement mix that resulted in an odd pinkish colouring, and a stone brick, which is very smooth from the oceanic environment in which I first found it.

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rosesburn In reply to Kimaero [2006-03-08 04:14:25 +0000 UTC]

Ooh, that's fancy. Take good care of them!

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CCIcey [2006-03-08 01:01:27 +0000 UTC]

I have a very ancient breed of brick! He was once used in road work. (Was part of a cobble-stone-road.) His markings are rather rare if I do say so myself!

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