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rosesburnA Lesson On Brick Care
Published: 2006-02-24 11:12:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 11885; Favourites: 284; Downloads: 3541
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Description Bricks are excellent pets. As well as being cheap, clean and easy to care for, they are extremely long-lived. They are extraordinarily loyal and have few requirements for housing and feed. They are very hardy, do not trigger allergies and extremely easy to tame. They rarely scratch, but can be a nuisance if left underfoot. However, with proper treatment, you and your brick should have a long and loving relationship. The most common brick is the Common House Brick (brickus brickus), which is normally a red colour. They also appear as other colours, ranging from a creamy-white, to black. Brown is another popular colouration, as there are many shades of brown bricks. The more unusual a brick is in colour, the more expensive.

Bricks have been associated with humans for many years, but are most often used as working bricks. They have only recently been adapted as pets. Closely related to the brick is the rock (rockus granus), which has become quite popular as a pet in recent decades. Hopefully, the brick shall follow its course.

The ancient brick has developed into the brick we know today. Today, breeders aim for hardiness and longevity, as well as resistence to water.

In the following simple guide, I, Bob, Leader of the International Brick Rescue, will teach you how to care for your brick.


Step 1: Choosing Your Brick
Firstly, we strongly encourage adopting abandoned or mistreated bricks. If not, take a walk around your local neighbourhood to see if you can find a feral brick. Just be sure that it is actually abandoned and does not belong to someone. Feral bricks are often timid, hiding amongst plant life, but with a bit of tender loving care, they can be tamed into wonderful pets. Alternatively, if you're looking for fancier bricks, the local brick-store is a good place to start. When choosing a brick, look for one that is free from any chips or cracks and has a nice, even colour. Also look out for lichen and other blemishes which are very unattractive in bricks. The brick should allow you to pet it, and be friendly. Once you have picked your new brick (or rescued an abandoned brick), find it a name and head on home.

Step 2: Bringing Home Your New Brick
When you first bring home a brick, there is no need to quarantine it as with other animals, as bricks rarely carry disease. As long as your brick appears healthy, it is safe to put with other animals/bricks. If in doubt, keep the brick seperate for a few days and monitor it closely.

Step 3: Bricks And Other Pets
Remember, bricks are very social. When left alone, bricks get very miserable and may have health problems. If you did not adopt two or more bricks, another animal makes a very good companion. Rodents such as rats and mice particularly seem to get along with bricks. When introducing bricks to one another, or other pets, make sure they are introduced in neutral territory. Monitor them in case a fight starts. If this occurs, firmly seperate the brick from the other animal/brick. It is normal for the brick and other animal/brick to investigate each other, and this may include climbing on one another, touching and sniffing. Bricks may be intimidated by larger animals, but they are normally very good at handling confrontations. If the introductions go well, your new brick and the other brick/animal can be kept together in the same enclosure/cage. It is not wise to introduce male and female bricks, as mating may occur.

Step 4: Housing Your Brick
Bricks are very adaptable. They do not require much in the way of housing; a simple clean and dry environment is enough. They like to have a little bit of space to move around and play. They can even be left to roam free in your house, like a dog, as they cause very little trouble when properly trained. Most bricks are not very fond of water or other liquids; they absorb all liquid they need through regular bathing. Keep them in a nice dry place. They are not bothered by temperature, and easily adapt to hot and cold weather.

Step 5: The Brick Diet
Bricks do not require much in the way of food. In fact, they absorb all nutrients they need from air and water, as plants do. A once-a-week bath will ensure the health of your brick.

Step 6: Bathing Your Brick
Bricks need to be bathed once a fortnight, or weekly. Holding your brick firmly, spray it with water. Then you can easily scrub it if it's very dirty, or wipe it with an old flannel if it's cleaner. Then allow your brick to sunbathe outside to dry off.

Step 7: Training And Handling
Be careful when handling your brick. You should never pick your brick up by the corner, as it's an unreliable hold and dropping your brick could result in fatal injury. Hold the brick firmly, with both hands if possible, around the belly. Bricks are quite heavy, and could injure you, too, if dropped. If your brick is behaving in an unresponsive way, use the forced socialization method. To do this, hold your brick for a minimum of 20 minutes a day. Talk to it, pet it, show it you love it. Bricks are very easy to train. With a little love and affection, the brick will willingly do whatever you ask of it.


So there you have it. Go out and save some bricks.
Sincerely,
Bob
IBR Leader
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Comments: 244

rosesburn In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 04:15:15 +0000 UTC]

Amazing, there's such a great variety of them. Take good care of him!

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PuppyLivers [2006-03-08 00:57:27 +0000 UTC]

This makes me a very happy camper. I want to do brick fanart now.
And I never fanart anything.
Really.

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rosesburn In reply to PuppyLivers [2006-03-08 04:16:23 +0000 UTC]

Well, if you do, be sure to show me. I'd love to see.

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PuppyLivers In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-09 05:09:31 +0000 UTC]

And I will.
C:

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MidoriKocha In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 00:49:22 +0000 UTC]

I'm so getting rid of my pet rock. Bircks rule!

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squeet-chan In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 00:16:58 +0000 UTC]

so how do you tell the gender???? I havea new brick and im quite unsere if i should introduece it to my other brick.. they might mate 0.o

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rosesburn In reply to squeet-chan [2006-03-08 04:33:00 +0000 UTC]

Try putting make up on it. If it doesn't mind, it's probably female.

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squeet-chan In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-09 23:55:42 +0000 UTC]

i never thought of that 0_0 ty

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austin123 In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 00:11:55 +0000 UTC]

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IngridMierzhenstaagg In reply to ??? [2006-03-08 00:09:39 +0000 UTC]

congratulations on the daily deviation!well deserved it was indeed. made me remember when I first got my dog....hysterical!
now I'm quite in the mood to go out and have a brick, they seem sweet loving pets

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rosesburn In reply to IngridMierzhenstaagg [2006-03-08 04:50:44 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thanks.
And they really, truly are the most loyal pets you can imagine. They'll never leave your side (as long as you don't move, either).

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livingtohateyou [2006-03-07 23:33:02 +0000 UTC]

this is bloody fantastic.

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mimblewimble In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 23:22:45 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I tried all that you said but my brick refuses to be social to any other animal/human/brick/paracite and my parents are thinking of taking me to that place with the men in white suits if I talk to it again ;;>>

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rosesburn In reply to mimblewimble [2006-03-08 04:52:34 +0000 UTC]

It's okay. Your parents are just figments of your imagination, they can't take you anywhere. Keep talking to your brick, you'll get through to it eventually.

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mimblewimble In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-09 01:07:51 +0000 UTC]

Okay, thanks for the tip, oh and do bricks get along well with pond rocks?

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rosesburn In reply to mimblewimble [2006-03-09 02:18:02 +0000 UTC]

Yes. I imagine they would.

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surrealestate [2006-03-07 23:13:08 +0000 UTC]

Haha! Feral bricks!

This is brilliant I'll be laughing when I think about it for quite a while.

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ISNIFFSHARPIEMARKERS In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 23:08:48 +0000 UTC]

lol! i love gerard!.. hmm this was interesting!

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Broken-Moons In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 22:43:36 +0000 UTC]

This is a very good read! Reminds me of the time I RPed as a were-brick

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rosesburn In reply to Broken-Moons [2006-03-08 05:58:18 +0000 UTC]

A were brick? Lol, that must have been fun.

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Broken-Moons In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 09:16:23 +0000 UTC]

It was The character also had a Brick Liberation Front, and this little piece would have fitted very nicely into that storyline. You are very funny

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rosesburn In reply to Broken-Moons [2006-03-08 09:59:30 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thanks. But I'm still intrigued by the idea of were-brick, lol. Human by day, brick by night?

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Broken-Moons In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 11:15:34 +0000 UTC]

Well he started out as just a brick. The whole thing took place in a Discworld RP forum, and the character used to be a brick around the Unseen University's trash and dump fields. The magic lingering around in there turned him human - except that every full moon, he reverts back to his brick state, and also when he is frightened or threatened. Being a brick is in a lot of situations safer than being human. Even if it does tend to get you thrown around a bit
Also, he could communicate with other bricks, even in human state, and at one point he was starting to turn into a kind of intelligence operation. Bricks know everything that goes on around them, and he could speak to them, so potentially he knew everything that went on in the city

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rosesburn In reply to Broken-Moons [2006-03-08 11:41:02 +0000 UTC]

Lol, that's amazing. It's a brilliant idea.

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Broken-Moons In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 12:09:36 +0000 UTC]

It was much fun

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Meowen In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 22:13:34 +0000 UTC]

This has to be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Very original idea, a language that really sounds like taken from an instructionsbook, and lots of humour. I want a brick!

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rosesburn In reply to Meowen [2006-03-08 05:58:48 +0000 UTC]

Lol, well, I'm glad you liked it!

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ZaneSama In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 21:49:49 +0000 UTC]

And I thought hampsters were great. XD

Does it take any more concentration to tame an exotic breed of brick? What if you adopt an abused brick? Should you then increase the time you hold it every day?

Do they enjoy being painted, or does this offend them?

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rosesburn In reply to ZaneSama [2006-03-08 06:03:01 +0000 UTC]

Yes, abused bricks do require more time. They need to build up their trust in humans again. One of the best ways to do that is to include the brick in every aspect of your life, bring it with you wherever you go.

As for painting them... Well, I personally haven't painted my two, but my close friend (and the IBR Co-Leader), painted hers, and they didn't seem to mind. I think they were quite proud of the decoration, actually.

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Bucky2K In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 21:36:49 +0000 UTC]

This would be really funny as narration for a video about brick adoption and brick care. I can just visualize all the different steps. This is a nicely done satire.

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rosesburn In reply to Bucky2K [2006-03-08 06:21:39 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you!

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Enthorn In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 21:05:58 +0000 UTC]

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SuperClown In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 20:56:30 +0000 UTC]

Amazingly funny and amusing. I love it, !

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demonlight In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 20:54:22 +0000 UTC]

There are some spacing errors in this: However, with proper treatment - but that's fairly easy to fix.

rock (rockus granus), which have - bit of a problem with plurality here. If you're saying 'rocks' then 'have' is okay. If you're going to say 'rock' (which fits better with the crufts-style breeding register you're after here) then I'd rephrase the latter part of the sentence to 'has'.

ook for onethat is free from - spacing error again. Please be aware that, even though I'm being picky, I'm smiling.

Bricks are very adaptive. - Adaptable.

easily scrub it if its - you need an apostrophe in the last 'it's', because it's a contraction of 'it and 'is'.

Okay - this is really quite good. You adopt the right tone and hold it consistently, and have a clear sense of the ridiculous. Having read cat manuals and the like, this really did make me want to giggle. Congratulations on the daily deviation.

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rosesburn In reply to demonlight [2006-03-08 07:24:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. It's helpful to get more indepth comments like this. Glad you liked it.

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short-shit In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 20:52:57 +0000 UTC]

damn...I want a brick now!!

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Natsuko37 In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 20:07:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh man! This amused me to no end! XD

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furrydragon In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 19:48:44 +0000 UTC]

I tmakes me wonder.. how DO you tell a female brick from a male brick?

I must sound very ignorant asking.

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rosesburn In reply to furrydragon [2006-03-08 07:25:39 +0000 UTC]

Try putting make up on it, if it doesn't mind, it's most likely female. Males also have more brilliant colours, so they can impress all the girl bricks.

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furrydragon In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 23:52:17 +0000 UTC]

AMAZING! It works! I apparently have a male brick. It had very little tolerance for that purple lipstick.

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rosesburn In reply to furrydragon [2006-03-09 00:34:01 +0000 UTC]

Hehe. So, now you know, be careful not to house him with female bricks -you might end up with lots of little bricklets, and they're hard to take care of.

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furrydragon In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-10 21:05:05 +0000 UTC]

I'd certainly think so. How those professional pedigree brick breeders do it I'll never know.

But they're just so cute, eh?

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rosesburn In reply to furrydragon [2006-03-10 23:10:35 +0000 UTC]

They're adorable. Hard work, but adorable.

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angryfisheatenbycat [2006-03-07 19:40:29 +0000 UTC]

*laughs* Never read anything like this before, cool. Very original idea.

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kickingagainst In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 19:25:25 +0000 UTC]

I already have a brick. It lost one of its hind legs during the demolition of the building where it used to live, but is nevertheless an important addition to my life. From a life of lurking among countless other bricks of my university's halls of residence it has gone to being a full-on pet and acts for most of the time as a rather handy paperweight.

Enjoyed the piece, and I'm sure it was fun to write. Keep on writing

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crimson-skies In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 19:22:59 +0000 UTC]

you have an incredible sense of humour this is one of the most original, if not the most original written piece that i have come across on deviantart so far. it just makes me want to get a brick of my own

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rosesburn In reply to crimson-skies [2006-03-08 07:29:06 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thanks. Glad you liked it.

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jacoe99 In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 19:05:58 +0000 UTC]

why the hell is a daily dev? rofl

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karkarodon In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 18:53:29 +0000 UTC]

I saw this in someone's FAV's and had to check out: "A lesson in brick care" I am truly glad i did. My brick pets kept being a real pain until you settled a few questions i had. Thank you.

Long live your bricks!

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rosesburn In reply to karkarodon [2006-03-08 07:28:30 +0000 UTC]

Glad to be a help!

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