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rosesburnA Lesson On Brick Care
Published: 2006-02-24 11:12:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 11886; Favourites: 284; Downloads: 3541
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Description Bricks are excellent pets. As well as being cheap, clean and easy to care for, they are extremely long-lived. They are extraordinarily loyal and have few requirements for housing and feed. They are very hardy, do not trigger allergies and extremely easy to tame. They rarely scratch, but can be a nuisance if left underfoot. However, with proper treatment, you and your brick should have a long and loving relationship. The most common brick is the Common House Brick (brickus brickus), which is normally a red colour. They also appear as other colours, ranging from a creamy-white, to black. Brown is another popular colouration, as there are many shades of brown bricks. The more unusual a brick is in colour, the more expensive.

Bricks have been associated with humans for many years, but are most often used as working bricks. They have only recently been adapted as pets. Closely related to the brick is the rock (rockus granus), which has become quite popular as a pet in recent decades. Hopefully, the brick shall follow its course.

The ancient brick has developed into the brick we know today. Today, breeders aim for hardiness and longevity, as well as resistence to water.

In the following simple guide, I, Bob, Leader of the International Brick Rescue, will teach you how to care for your brick.


Step 1: Choosing Your Brick
Firstly, we strongly encourage adopting abandoned or mistreated bricks. If not, take a walk around your local neighbourhood to see if you can find a feral brick. Just be sure that it is actually abandoned and does not belong to someone. Feral bricks are often timid, hiding amongst plant life, but with a bit of tender loving care, they can be tamed into wonderful pets. Alternatively, if you're looking for fancier bricks, the local brick-store is a good place to start. When choosing a brick, look for one that is free from any chips or cracks and has a nice, even colour. Also look out for lichen and other blemishes which are very unattractive in bricks. The brick should allow you to pet it, and be friendly. Once you have picked your new brick (or rescued an abandoned brick), find it a name and head on home.

Step 2: Bringing Home Your New Brick
When you first bring home a brick, there is no need to quarantine it as with other animals, as bricks rarely carry disease. As long as your brick appears healthy, it is safe to put with other animals/bricks. If in doubt, keep the brick seperate for a few days and monitor it closely.

Step 3: Bricks And Other Pets
Remember, bricks are very social. When left alone, bricks get very miserable and may have health problems. If you did not adopt two or more bricks, another animal makes a very good companion. Rodents such as rats and mice particularly seem to get along with bricks. When introducing bricks to one another, or other pets, make sure they are introduced in neutral territory. Monitor them in case a fight starts. If this occurs, firmly seperate the brick from the other animal/brick. It is normal for the brick and other animal/brick to investigate each other, and this may include climbing on one another, touching and sniffing. Bricks may be intimidated by larger animals, but they are normally very good at handling confrontations. If the introductions go well, your new brick and the other brick/animal can be kept together in the same enclosure/cage. It is not wise to introduce male and female bricks, as mating may occur.

Step 4: Housing Your Brick
Bricks are very adaptable. They do not require much in the way of housing; a simple clean and dry environment is enough. They like to have a little bit of space to move around and play. They can even be left to roam free in your house, like a dog, as they cause very little trouble when properly trained. Most bricks are not very fond of water or other liquids; they absorb all liquid they need through regular bathing. Keep them in a nice dry place. They are not bothered by temperature, and easily adapt to hot and cold weather.

Step 5: The Brick Diet
Bricks do not require much in the way of food. In fact, they absorb all nutrients they need from air and water, as plants do. A once-a-week bath will ensure the health of your brick.

Step 6: Bathing Your Brick
Bricks need to be bathed once a fortnight, or weekly. Holding your brick firmly, spray it with water. Then you can easily scrub it if it's very dirty, or wipe it with an old flannel if it's cleaner. Then allow your brick to sunbathe outside to dry off.

Step 7: Training And Handling
Be careful when handling your brick. You should never pick your brick up by the corner, as it's an unreliable hold and dropping your brick could result in fatal injury. Hold the brick firmly, with both hands if possible, around the belly. Bricks are quite heavy, and could injure you, too, if dropped. If your brick is behaving in an unresponsive way, use the forced socialization method. To do this, hold your brick for a minimum of 20 minutes a day. Talk to it, pet it, show it you love it. Bricks are very easy to train. With a little love and affection, the brick will willingly do whatever you ask of it.


So there you have it. Go out and save some bricks.
Sincerely,
Bob
IBR Leader
Related content
Comments: 244

rosesburn In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 10:19:41 +0000 UTC]

I thought it impolite to ask.

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tainted-marrow [2006-03-07 09:13:33 +0000 UTC]

i wonder if i get one of these my little brother will stop whining for a puppy? meheh.
have you considered using that as the homepage for a websiten where you sell bricks online? i would buy one, excpet im the sort of person to adop one. . .
my brick is a very large variety, but fairly young, since keeping it in my room i have noticed that its "cavities" are getting infested with small spiderlike things. this concerns me, as i am arachnophobic, and because i do not think that Blocky enjoys having a parasite infestation iside his rear cavity. . .*cough*
can you give me any advice?

thanks.
marrow

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rosesburn In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-07 10:26:48 +0000 UTC]

We used to have a website about it, actually. I don't really remember it now, but it was good fun at the time. Had adoption certificates and everything.

As for your Blocky, I suggest using some sort of bug spray. It won't hurt Blocky, and it'll only hurt you if you start licking him after he's been sprayed. I advise you do not lick bricks that have been recently sprayed with bug spray.
Sincerely,
Bob

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tainted-marrow In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 04:16:38 +0000 UTC]

thanks a lot. your getting a LOT of comments on this work, and you desrve it!
i dont lick my brick anyway, its not polite.
have you considered asking someone to draw pictures/animations for this? then sell it as a book?
there is a website that turns your ideas into books for free . .

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rosesburn In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-08 05:34:39 +0000 UTC]

Thanks... And no, I haven't. Although I'm seriously considering reactiviating the website, could be fun.

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Tsatsayka In reply to tainted-marrow [2006-03-07 09:40:57 +0000 UTC]

I think you've been forgetting the weekly bath Add some cleanser/soap to get rid of the infestation.... and have your little brother do the cleaning "for experiance before he gets his own pet"

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Plornt In reply to ??? [2006-03-07 08:52:19 +0000 UTC]

Stunning work!

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EvilNNasty129 In reply to ??? [2006-03-01 09:08:03 +0000 UTC]

Oh now I'm definitely gonna go save some bricks! I've always wanted a pet like that, I don't think my parents will mind much since the Brick is a very clean animal.... brick.

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rosesburn In reply to EvilNNasty129 [2006-03-01 11:54:07 +0000 UTC]

Oh yeah, it should be easy to convince your parents to let you get a brick. Just show them that guide.

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EvilNNasty129 In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-01 12:04:04 +0000 UTC]

You bet I will! It's such a wonderful thing that someone has finally properly introduced us to the amazing world of bricks! Truly fascinating creatures

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rosesburn In reply to EvilNNasty129 [2006-03-01 22:05:49 +0000 UTC]

Well, I like to do what's best. For bricks and mankind! Lol!

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coshdaddy [2006-02-28 06:06:30 +0000 UTC]

This is very clever.

I remember a time when the pet rock thing was huge with my peers (many moons ago). Chalk it up to an overabundance of shiny rocks on the playground, or the Grade 3 art teacher having some kind of obsession with painting smiley faces on stone, but they were everywhere for a little while. I remember my brother coming home with a piece of granite with googley eyes and strands of string-hair with such a joyful look when he said to my mom "Can I keep him?" Bricks, though? Different story.

Love the structure of this. Has that "So you want to get a brick?" kind of tutorial feel to it. Like a letter you'd get from the SPCA after inquiring about getting a puppy. It's great. I think there could've been more emphasis on that, in a way. It seems like the fact that it's from Bob, the IBR Leader, at all seems very insignificant. Kind of briefly mentions it before the list, and then again at the end. Probably could be either more elaborated, or maybe just put in the signature as a last laugh. Giving Bob a full name would make it sound more official, too.

There's a few things that could use polishing on this. Nothing major, but just a few little nitpicks.

In the first paragraph, the sentence "They rarely scratch, but can be a nuisance if left underfoot, but with proper treatment, you and..." could probably be worded better as "...if left underfoot. However, with proper treatment..." just because the two 'but's make it a bit awkward. There's also no space between the next sentence and the period ending the previous one.

In the next portion, the first sentence sounds like it needs a bit of a touch. "in association" could read better as "have been associated with" or something of the like. The former seems a bit odd. As well, the "it's" in "in it's course" should be "its".

In Step 1, the word "onethat" should probably be "one that", and the line "nice even colour" should read "nice, even colour". Step 6 should have a few commas around the "too" to make "injure you, too, if dropped". I also think that Step 7 could be put a little earlier, since it's already mentioned in the steps above it that you need to bath it once a week. Almost seems redundant at that point, so that could use a little restructuring.

Beyond the little nitpicks and whatnot, though, this is a really funny and creative piece. I've seen some pieces personifying inanimate objects before, but this one is just so well done. Especially considering the content, and the progression from pet rocks to pet bricks, it is just absolutely gold. Excellent work, rosesburn. Very dry humour.

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rosesburn In reply to coshdaddy [2006-02-28 21:31:09 +0000 UTC]

Thank you - I rarely get such indepth comments, so it's very much appreciated when I do. Glad you liked it.

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flashstorm In reply to ??? [2006-02-26 15:20:32 +0000 UTC]

Gah! Ahsy, you and your crazyness, stop it! You are being a bad influence to the poor young penguins... you should be ASHAMED!

Lol, jking. This is in no way better than the Guide, but I still LOVE it!

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rosesburn In reply to flashstorm [2006-02-26 23:08:09 +0000 UTC]

Awh, thanks hun. And you know I'm always here to be a bad influence on you.

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flashstorm In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-27 00:51:35 +0000 UTC]

Are you implying that I am a young penguin?!?!? *angry look*

AWWWW!!! That's so sweet! *hugglwes*

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rosesburn In reply to flashstorm [2006-02-27 01:19:35 +0000 UTC]

Yes. Yes I am implying that you are a young penguin.

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flashstorm In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-27 02:49:38 +0000 UTC]

I have never seen a penguin write poetry. Especially young ones...

But since I plagarise my poems:

*waddle*

Lol, jking.

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rosesburn In reply to flashstorm [2006-02-27 09:29:52 +0000 UTC]

You have the sexiest waddle of all the young penguins I know. *nod*

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flashstorm In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-27 16:56:28 +0000 UTC]

I should feel wuved?!?

Gah. I want to say something funny, but the publicness of this place forbids me. GAHHH!!!!!

*falls and dies*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to flashstorm [2006-02-27 21:15:08 +0000 UTC]

Say it ANYWAY!

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flashstorm In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-28 03:26:40 +0000 UTC]

No, sowwies. Need to protect my cover...

*all James Bond-type look, suspenceful music playing in background*

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Deep-Slayer In reply to flashstorm [2007-11-26 00:56:53 +0000 UTC]

mmmmm man that was good. I beleve this will put a grin on eneyones face if not lol. "It is not wise to introduce male and female bricks, as mating may occur." lmao that was pricless. my fave

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TheCanadianYoggit In reply to flashstorm [2006-03-09 22:01:33 +0000 UTC]

Ahaha.
I love this thing.
It's amazing.
<3
I want a brick.
FLASHSTORMM.
o_o
It's been.
Um.
Like.
Well I never have even talked to you except once >.>
But hi :B
xD

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inu-yasha-fan In reply to flashstorm [2006-03-08 05:32:33 +0000 UTC]

so funny.

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rosesburn In reply to flashstorm [2006-02-28 05:55:43 +0000 UTC]

Awh, come on. I want to know.

And aren't you meant to be doing homework? Hmm?

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gunuse In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 00:27:32 +0000 UTC]

i am supposed to be doing homework too

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rosesburn In reply to gunuse [2006-03-08 04:29:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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gunuse In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-08 04:32:24 +0000 UTC]

ur welcome ^.=.^

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FluffySilver In reply to ??? [2006-02-26 08:20:14 +0000 UTC]

Careful, you'll trigger my pet rockishness.

"dropping your brick could result in fatal injury."

You or the brick?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to FluffySilver [2006-02-26 23:09:12 +0000 UTC]

Well, if you happen to have your skull under the brick when you drop it...

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FluffySilver In reply to rosesburn [2006-03-06 08:23:20 +0000 UTC]

You'd have to be quite flexible and/or suicidal.

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Chornyi In reply to ??? [2006-02-26 04:39:54 +0000 UTC]

this makes me want to go out and get a brick!!! I used to have a pet rock. His name was Rocky I love it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to Chornyi [2006-02-26 23:10:38 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thanks. I had a pet rock once too.
Now I have two bricks. They're amazing.

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Chornyi In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-27 15:17:39 +0000 UTC]

awww I want one!!!

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Nagol900 In reply to ??? [2006-02-25 02:17:02 +0000 UTC]

I'd start laughing, but I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to stop.

That was very original and very funny! Good work! *favs*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to Nagol900 [2006-02-25 04:06:38 +0000 UTC]

Lol, thank you! And thanks for the fave and watch!

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Twisted-Writer In reply to ??? [2006-02-24 18:59:52 +0000 UTC]

This was great. To show my love for it, it'snow on my favorite list.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to Twisted-Writer [2006-02-24 21:07:54 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, thank you very much!

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Twisted-Writer In reply to rosesburn [2006-02-26 19:00:22 +0000 UTC]

^-^ Anytime

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triptychr In reply to ??? [2006-02-24 14:17:44 +0000 UTC]

One little typo in Step 6: "You should never bick your brick up by the corner..."

Regardless, this is really good! You introduce the humor subtly, not trying to go out on a limb, but the mental images some of those steps conjur up are priceless. Well done.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rosesburn In reply to triptychr [2006-02-24 21:19:46 +0000 UTC]

Oops, I'll have to fix that up.
And thanks, appreciate the comment, and the fave.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

quenjamin In reply to ??? [2006-02-24 12:50:11 +0000 UTC]

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