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Description

Original design by AtolmAzel

Somewhere between the cardassian-federation war and the dominion war, the USS Enterprise D intercepted a hidden record giving details about a yet unknown cardassian ship. This is the transcript of a conversation.

Identified persons:
Legate Xeron, high ranking military logistic operator
Legate Sabot, high ranking member of the Obsdidian Order
Gul Rys, engineer and member of the Obsidian order

X: "Thank you for coming. Long life cardassia."
S: "Long life cardassia."
R: "Long life cardassia."
X: "I assume you like your tea with aldeerian spices?"
S: "I hate tea, I drink coffee. Also the tea-thing only works if we do it."
X: "Understood. Coffee it is. Gul Rys? Earl Grey I assume"
R: "With all due respect, Earl Grey is disgusting. I would take cofee too."

Voice of reknown federation captain: "See, this is why noone likes them."

X: "With this out of the way... We need to talk. About the so called Kadon class surveillance vessel."
R: "Khadon."
S: "Kodahn."
R *sound of paper being shuffeld* "You are right. Kodhan."
S: "Kodahn. K-o-d-a-h-n."
R: *paper shuffeling* "I think it is too late for renaming... I named all the files Khadon."
X: "Whatever. Your plans for building this ship."
R: "Plans? I mean we..." *sound of someone stepping on someones foot* "...yes plans. Only plans my Legate."
X: "Sooo... First: You know the very first rule when it comes to cardassia?"
S: "What happens on Bajor stays on Bajor?"
X: "The other rule."
S: "Don't name your child Kim because the terrans make dated jokes about it?"
X: "The other, other rule!"
R: "Ohhh... The Osbidian order may not possess military equipement!"
X: "Yes. This one... So... With that in mind... What were you thinking with this?!" *sound of pointing at stuff*
S: "I see no validation of rule. This is a civilian ship. Completely unarmed. It is meant for gathering information on all frequencies."
R: "Completely unarmed. No weapons. Not even conceiled ones" *sound of stepping on someones foot*
X: "So, the gates... who has exactly the measurments of disruptors that are placed like disruptors would be..."
S: "Are no disruptors."
R: "We reused parts of the Galor class design and thought: If we may not use disruptors, we could just put doors in their. Hull integrity."
X: "And same goes for those exactly torpedo tube sized gates?"
R: "100% my Legate."
X: *inhales* "Lets talk on this thing on top of the ship."
R: "It is an antenna."
X: "The hole ship consists of antennas."
S: "It is her design stick. We have to let it slide."
X: "I mean this!"
R: "The half sphere? Better antenna."
X: "Okay... Then why, when on closeup, it has romulan safety instructions, a romulan manual."
R: "Sheer covincidence."
X: "And if I zoom in, there is a romulan marking on some parts."
R: "You see... if the federation would capture one of the ships, they would think it is a stealth-field-generator... But in truth... it isn't. But they would assume it is and this would be politically interesting."
X: "This sounds redicoulous."
R: "But not as rediculous as the assumption we would somehow cooperate with the romulan Tal'Shiar to get access to stealth technology..." *several stamps on a feet can be heard*
X: "And you need this ship to gather dater from orbit."
S: "Only this purpose."
X: "In your quality management notes it states 'crew attempts frequent military drills'... Any explanation?"
S: "When times are dire, we think every crew member of the Obsidian order has to know how to operate a starship. In military conditions."
R: "They will know how to operate sprial wave and normal disruptors..."
S: "Even if none of them are on the ship. At all."
R: "Espacially not underneath the four bigger plates were normally the spiral wave disruptors would be..." *heavy stumping on a foot* "...if there were any."
X: "Why does the ship need so many transporter rooms? Stop... Let me guess... to beam up individuals for inquiries?"
R: *Sound of nodding*
S: *Sound of heavier nodding*
X: "Nor for beaming persons on other ships... in mass? For... boarding purpose?"
R: *Sound of nodding* *Sound of someone stomping on someones feet* *Sound of heavy shaking head*
S: *Sound of heavy shaking head*
X: "So, if this has noooo military purpose at all - why does it have a shield generator?"
R: "It has?!"
X: "It states here, on the techical details 'Shield generator from Kulinor'!"
R: "Oh this one... Meteorites and relativistic particles."
X: "Aren't those ship supposed to be in cardassian orbits where this doesn't matter? Not in some meteorite belts or other hazardous envoirments."
S: "We can never know how much cardassia grows."
X: "I slowly getting a headache from this discussion... And what didn't help is: Why is this assymetrical?"
S: "Because our chief designer, Legate AtolmAzel is brillant. That is why. Also: It helps in distinguishing the ship from military vessels. Which are symetrical."
R: "And therefore quicker to build."
X: "This has nothing to do with copying Breen designs?"
S: "Absolutely not. To quote our chief designer: 'The Breen don't have the monopoly for assymetrical ships'."
X: *Exhales* "I think we are done here. You have the militaries permission to build this. You can get up now."
R: "I can't."
S: "Why?"
R: "My foot hurts."

Description

Original design by AtolmAzel

Somewhere between the cardassian-federation war and the dominion war, the USS Enterprise D intercepted a hidden record giving details about a yet unknown cardassian ship. This is the transcript of a conversation.

Identified persons:
Legate Xeron, high ranking military logistic operator
Legate Sabot, high ranking member of the Obsdidian Order
Gul Rys, engineer and member of the Obsidian order

X: "Thank you for coming. Long life cardassia."
S: "Long life cardassia."
R: "Long life cardassia."
X: "I assume you like your tea with aldeerian spices?"
S: "I hate tea, I drink coffee. Also the tea-thing only works if we do it."
X: "Understood. Coffee it is. Gul Rys? Earl Grey I assume"
R: "With all due respect, Earl Grey is disgusting. I would take cofee too."

Voice of reknown federation captain: "See, this is why noone likes them."

X: "With this out of the way... We need to talk. About the so called Kadon class surveillance vessel."
R: "Khadon."
S: "Kodahn."
R *sound of paper being shuffeld* "You are right. Kodhan."
S: "Kodahn. K-o-d-a-h-n."
R: *paper shuffeling* "I think it is too late for renaming... I named all the files Khadon."
X: "Whatever. Your plans for building this ship."
R: "Plans? I mean we..." *sound of someone stepping on someones foot* "...yes plans. Only plans my Legate."
X: "Sooo... First: You know the very first rule when it comes to cardassia?"
S: "What happens on Bajor stays on Bajor?"
X: "The other rule."
S: "Don't name your child Kim because the terrans make dated jokes about it?"
X: "The other, other rule!"
R: "Ohhh... The Osbidian order may not possess military equipement!"
X: "Yes. This one... So... With that in mind... What were you thinking with this?!" *sound of pointing at stuff*
S: "I see no validation of rule. This is a civilian ship. Completely unarmed. It is meant for gathering information on all frequencies."
R: "Completely unarmed. No weapons. Not even conceiled ones" *sound of stepping on someones foot*
X: "So, the gates... who has exactly the measurments of disruptors that are placed like disruptors would be..."
S: "Are no disruptors."
R: "We reused parts of the Galor class design and thought: If we may not use disruptors, we could just put doors in their. Hull integrity."
X: "And same goes for those exactly torpedo tube sized gates?"
R: "100% my Legate."
X: *inhales* "Lets talk on this thing on top of the ship."
R: "It is an antenna."
X: "The hole ship consists of antennas."
S: "It is her design stick. We have to let it slide."
X: "I mean this!"
R: "The half sphere? Better antenna."
X: "Okay... Then why, when on closeup, it has romulan safety instructions, a romulan manual."
R: "Sheer covincidence."
X: "And if I zoom in, there is a romulan marking on some parts."
R: "You see... if the federation would capture one of the ships, they would think it is a stealth-field-generator... But in truth... it isn't. But they would assume it is and this would be politically interesting."
X: "This sounds redicoulous."
R: "But not as rediculous as the assumption we would somehow cooperate with the romulan Tal'Shiar to get access to stealth technology..." *several stamps on a feet can be heard*
X: "And you need this ship to gather dater from orbit."
S: "Only this purpose."
X: "In your quality management notes it states 'crew attempts frequent military drills'... Any explanation?"
S: "When times are dire, we think every crew member of the Obsidian order has to know how to operate a starship. In military conditions."
R: "They will know how to operate sprial wave and normal disruptors..."
S: "Even if none of them are on the ship. At all."
R: "Espacially not underneath the four bigger plates were normally the spiral wave disruptors would be..." *heavy stumping on a foot* "...if there were any."
X: "Why does the ship need so many transporter rooms? Stop... Let me guess... to beam up individuals for inquiries?"
R: *Sound of nodding*
S: *Sound of heavier nodding*
X: "Nor for beaming persons on other ships... in mass? For... boarding purpose?"
R: *Sound of nodding* *Sound of someone stomping on someones feet* *Sound of heavy shaking head*
S: *Sound of heavy shaking head*
X: "So, if this has noooo military purpose at all - why does it have a shield generator?"
R: "It has?!"
X: "It states here, on the techical details 'Shield generator from Kulinor'!"
R: "Oh this one... Meteorites and relativistic particles."
X: "Aren't those ship supposed to be in cardassian orbits where this doesn't matter? Not in some meteorite belts or other hazardous envoirments."
S: "We can never know how much cardassia grows."
X: "I slowly getting a headache from this discussion... And what didn't help is: Why is this assymetrical?"
S: "Because our chief designer, Legate AtolmAzel is brillant. That is why. Also: It helps in distinguishing the ship from military vessels. Which are symetrical."
R: "And therefore quicker to build."
X: "This has nothing to do with copying Breen designs?"
S: "Absolutely not. To quote our chief designer: 'The Breen don't have the monopoly for assymetrical ships'."
X: *Exhales* "I think we are done here. You have the militaries permission to build this. You can get up now."
R: "I can't."
S: "Why?"
R: "My foot hurts."