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Published: 2008-01-08 06:59:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 5273; Favourites: 166; Downloads: 32
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Description
If I allow my tongue totouch the top of my teeth
to the bottom to utter a
"I Love you"
tonight, does it mean I
can't say it again?
I bite my nails
as I recoil, remembering
the bad habit, barely making
progress in this patience
plaguing, somber, far from serene
nightfall dream.
12:31am,
two minutes since we last
said our good-byes,
good-nights, good-wishes of
sleepfully peaceful mind shows.
Feels like an eternity since
we last spoke, while Eternity
waits by the door,
readying to again make my heart
long so long for you.
~she has always been
so successful in her
endeavors~
Related content
Comments: 105
Das-Feuer [2009-03-17 22:02:42 +0000 UTC]
I don't know what exactly it is about this that I love so much.. but I love it. There is just something about it that strikes me...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to Das-Feuer [2009-03-18 11:35:19 +0000 UTC]
That's beautiful. So happy you like this.
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poshlost [2008-04-30 00:32:24 +0000 UTC]
I'm going to be honest (because otherwise I would hate myself for it) and say that this does not deserve a DD. It's not bad--it's actually quite good, but it's good in the way that pleasant work isn't really outstanding. I feel like I've read this same feeling, same verse a billion times before.
Not to say that a DD itself is a particularly impressive honour--it's all about popularity, really--but there has been some pretty phenomenal stuff featured.
So, no insult to the actual quality of your work, I don't think you're quite there yet.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to poshlost [2008-04-30 02:46:17 +0000 UTC]
Oh, that's fine, quite fine. I don't mind, actually, and a popularity contest? Hardly. The person who featured me was someone who randomly put in "nail biting" in the search box, found my poem, liked it and eventually suggested it. I didn't even know her, so that can't be the reason. And I'm sure you have read the same feeling before. Any avid to casual reader will eventually read the same types of things over and over again. All in the way it's presented, how a person feels that day, etc. But, ahh, to each his own, right?
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
poshlost In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-05-01 00:19:52 +0000 UTC]
if only for a day*
I've a splitting headache--it's throwing off my grammar.
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poshlost In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-05-01 00:19:16 +0000 UTC]
I think it's possible to read different feelings--or else what's the point of reading? Though perhaps I meant "scenario"--this one's a bit overplayed.
I never said a DD was a popularity contest, just that it only makes you popular (if only for day). It does not prove that you are any more exceptional than the millions of other writers on this site, who have not yet been discovered.
But yes to each his own.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to poshlost [2008-05-01 04:41:51 +0000 UTC]
Of missing someone? Yes, I'm sure it is. I can list a million that are. It's all in how it's presented and people liked how it was presented. I can sit and watch a movie that is so been there, done that, but if it has fine actors and a nice sense of style, I'm happy and obviously that's what the suggester and the one who featured it felt. It was a nice style.
And, if you ever looked at the admins comments when it came to who they would pick for a DD feature, they specifically say that it doesn't necessarily mean that it's the BEST thing that ever was produced or that it is the most EXCEPTIONAL piece of literature that ever graced dA. They just really, really like it.
I'm not going after no Pulitzer prize or anything, after all. And, with the reasoning that getting a DD is only good for making one popular for one day, then there really should be no reason you would, in essence, peruse the DD's since it's only to make people popular. But no that couldn't be it, since you said DD's require skill. So, I'm confused now by your argument. *shrugs*
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
poshlost In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-05-01 22:59:10 +0000 UTC]
If that is the case, then I simply don't like it enough, and that is why I said something about it.
I said: Daily Deviations have a reputation for being fairly exceptional, and you don't measure up to the usual batch. Furthermore, the fact that you have a DD does not imply that you have reached their level because the DD itself proves nothing.
Don't bicker about semantics--if you want to turn this into an argument, you have really got nothing on me. (You'll note that I never directly denigrated the quality of your work, because literature is never about quality but rather subjectivity. For example, Faulkner. One could say a great deal about Faulkner.)
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evcfenix [2008-04-25 06:13:15 +0000 UTC]
very well done! the pictures that came to mind were so clear when i read this. and i can relate perfectly to this!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to evcfenix [2008-05-03 01:41:58 +0000 UTC]
Really? Great, so happy you can.
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ScribbledNotes In reply to 007-Felix-Forever [2008-04-30 03:11:00 +0000 UTC]
Umm, huh? I'm confused by your comment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ScribbledNotes In reply to sychocrazymurphyslaw [2008-05-03 01:45:12 +0000 UTC]
Thanks muchly.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
harlequinism [2008-04-25 04:30:15 +0000 UTC]
Excellent work, great flow to this. An instant fav
Congrats on the DD, it is well deserved!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LittleFortuneCookie [2008-04-25 03:07:17 +0000 UTC]
This poem really hits home for me, and it's really well worded too.
*favs*
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ScribbledNotes In reply to LittleFortuneCookie [2008-04-25 03:56:36 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LittleFortuneCookie In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-04-25 14:10:00 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome =3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ScribbledNotes In reply to Moondance-KeTreva [2008-04-25 04:01:37 +0000 UTC]
Aww, thanks so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ScribbledNotes In reply to heart-mojo [2008-04-25 04:02:20 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! One of my original supporters!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
bloodyteardrop08 [2008-04-25 00:54:30 +0000 UTC]
Wow, parts of this are just... well just like me. lol Very nice.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to bloodyteardrop08 [2008-04-25 04:02:46 +0000 UTC]
Hahah, thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed this!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
quasril [2008-04-25 00:35:52 +0000 UTC]
Cool
I almost never use goodbyes, Its always "later"
That way you are still together, but at a different time...
I just had that thought come into mind ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to quasril [2008-04-25 04:04:10 +0000 UTC]
I remember someone saying that before, too. That would have been a good thought to interject into this piece. Too late now, though! lol Thank you so much, glad you liked it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
quasril In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-04-25 18:30:25 +0000 UTC]
Maybe you have an idea for a new piece now! ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
kabuyo [2008-04-25 00:04:58 +0000 UTC]
really good i had to finish the whole thing or i would of been mad at myself because of how good it was
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to kabuyo [2008-04-25 04:04:56 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. Glad you liked it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
utawoutau [2008-04-24 23:19:21 +0000 UTC]
This sounds like a song - can you compose music? Or do you know someone that does? If not, find someone and become their friend - haha. Great poem!
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ScribbledNotes In reply to utawoutau [2008-04-25 04:06:34 +0000 UTC]
I used to play for a while (guitar) but I just listen to a WHOLE lot of music, so I always tend to think in lyrics anyway. And I know some people that can compose. I should talk to them, huh? Wow, surprising someone picked up on that!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
utawoutau In reply to ScribbledNotes [2008-04-25 04:20:55 +0000 UTC]
yess! do it! and i wanna hear the results!
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ScribbledNotes In reply to utawoutau [2008-04-29 04:41:41 +0000 UTC]
Hahhah, will do, will do!
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TheMidnightAngel [2008-04-24 22:51:32 +0000 UTC]
Wow...I like it. Very nice. The full title is awesome lol
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to TheMidnightAngel [2008-04-25 04:06:51 +0000 UTC]
Thank you! I really pride myself on my titles!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ScribbledNotes In reply to hauntingmewithsmiles [2008-04-25 04:07:02 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much, dear.
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