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ShadowWorldRed β€” Re-Haunted
#blanket #closet #fall #fear #fears #october #seasons #reimagined #haunted #poetry
Published: 2015-09-22 23:32:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 353; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Tenth for eighth, a scrambled dozen
Swiftly she swings, swelter to sweater
Rain on the pane, soon to be frozen
Is what's in the closet out to get her?

Chilled to the bone, muscles gone weak
Shadow-figures walk the wall
Frightened so badly she cannot speak -Β 
Her blanket protects herΒ not at all...

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Comments: 16

Zorbonaut [2015-09-28 14:27:07 +0000 UTC]

I understood the "Tenth for eighth" line, but only after reading it thrice.

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to Zorbonaut [2015-09-28 17:17:41 +0000 UTC]

Wonderful! I resisted the temptation to clearly explain it in the Description. I do like to make people think when reading my work, but I don't want to baffle anyone.

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Phisisturae [2015-09-25 21:00:31 +0000 UTC]

You say you're not a poet but I can say I know a lot of poets who can't achieve rhythm as well as you have in that first stanza. The second one isn't as spot on, but still very good. I hope you do more poetry, this shows promise.

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to Phisisturae [2015-09-25 22:26:44 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much. You've confirmed my sense that the second stanza is off. I will re-work it. I appreciate the appraisal, and I will indeed continue to write poetry.

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Phisisturae In reply to ShadowWorldRed [2015-09-25 22:29:21 +0000 UTC]

Great to hear.

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cerealnovels [2015-09-24 18:02:03 +0000 UTC]

I like this especially the last line.Β 

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to cerealnovels [2015-09-24 19:27:15 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

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DeriveAnemone [2015-09-23 19:30:22 +0000 UTC]

"swelter to sweater" sounds really great. It has a real flow that must come from a general skill for language if you haven't written poetry before!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

ShadowWorldRed In reply to DeriveAnemone [2015-09-23 21:36:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks. In my "neck of the woods", September can include a July-like day of baking heat and thick humidity, immediately followed by a surprisingly cool, crisp October-like day. I've likely heard someone speak those very words in the past, but if so, I couldn't name the person. I've recently been reading on the art of poetry writing, and some lessons are fresh in my head, still.Β 

Oh, and I did write some poetry in high school, but that was more than a few U.S. Presidents ago...

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DeriveAnemone In reply to ShadowWorldRed [2015-09-24 20:13:39 +0000 UTC]

Ah, I see. Where I am, it's just mildly cold and very bright. Poetry how to books are great; if you haven't already, check out Ted Hughes' Poetry in the Making. The Paris Review also has some brilliant 'Art of Poetry' interviews.

Age is just a number, amiright? I'd be lying if I said I'd gone beyond high school poetry haha.Β 

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to DeriveAnemone [2015-09-24 20:37:21 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! My mother loved the poems of both Plath and Hughes. I've not heard of Poetry in the Making, I'll be sure to look for it, and to investigate The Paris Review, which I admit I rarely give much thought to. I really should broaden my literary horizons.

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copper9lives [2015-09-23 07:25:08 +0000 UTC]

I love this, Red, and am so VERY honored that you would write an interpretation! I love playing "poet-tag" like this...

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to copper9lives [2015-09-23 16:24:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

As a stand-alone poem it needs clarification at the outset, but when one reads your poem first, mine makes a bit more sense. I hope my first line isn't too obscure a reference. I will assume you understood it, because you possess beauty and brains! Β Β 

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copper9lives In reply to ShadowWorldRed [2015-09-24 06:03:59 +0000 UTC]

D'awwww! And of course I understand it… 
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/October

Heh. Ah, the switching of the calendars...


Β 

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ShadowWorldRed In reply to copper9lives [2015-09-24 17:24:19 +0000 UTC]

Oooh, I like the Windfish!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

copper9lives In reply to ShadowWorldRed [2015-09-25 08:13:57 +0000 UTC]

I do too! I just discovered it...

Β 

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