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Custom-made Coffins! : Undertaker X Reader

*This continues on from another one of my deviations, Thief. There's a link in the info section thing if you haven't read it yet. It would help you understand what's going on a fair bit.*

Anything in italics are your thoughts!

Warning: There's some language and stuff but I'm not sure it's enough to put a filter on.

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Your POV:

“Hehehe~” He cackled. “Thought yer could get away from me didn’t ya love? Heh~ Well yer thought wrong.” He held out a hand. “Now ‘and it over.”

You looked your target up and down. The long greyish hair made him look like an old man. And how did he get up here wearing that long tattered cloak? Surely he would have tripped? Perhaps those long black nails of his were used as picks. And are those high heels?

You raised an eyebrow before meeting his eyes. Or his hair. His bangs obscured his eyes. They didn’t obscure his wolfish grin though. Or that strange scar that ran across his face.

You threw the stolen goods back at their owner, who caught them with ease.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done without these dog biscuits!” He laughed before munching on one (causing you to gag). “Hmm… Now what to do wit’ you.”

You crossed your arms in defiance. “Whaddaya mean ‘What to do with me’? I gave your bloody biscuits back didn’t I?! Crazy old man. I’m outta here.” You turned to leave.

“Crazy old man? BWAHAHAHAHA!”

You faced him again to see a laughing mess on the floor. You closed your eyes and sighed. Then you shrieked. Mostly because your target’s face was an inch away from your own. And there were yellow glowing orbs where his eyes should’ve been.

“That was a first rate laugh my dear! You must come wit’ me! I know what to do wit’ yer now!” He grabbed your arm and shot off, dragging you behind him.

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Still your POV:

An undertaker? That explains why he’s so damn crazy.

A sign (complete with menacing skull) stood upon an old-run down shop. A couple of model coffins/gravestones stood next to some double doors.

“In we go love!” The target shoved you inside.

“AH! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR-”

“Undertaker, who’s this?” A bored voice came from above you.

Looking up from your dignified position on the floor you spotted a boy with blue hair stood next to a butler.

“I don’t know! HA! Ask her!” Undertaker responded.

“You don’t know?! But you were the one who – Never mind. Who are you?” The boy asked coldly.

“Who’s askin’?” You growled, now stood up. You pulled your hood (Which had amazingly remained in place covering your face) down over your face more.

“I’m Lord Ciel Phantomhive of the Phantomhive Estate.”

“He’s also the Queen’s Guard dog! Woof! Woof!” Undertaker snorted, waving one of his dog biscuits in front of the Lord’s face.

“Perhaps you could be less rude to my master?” The butler smiled whilst sending a sharp glare at you.

“Well perhaps you can tell me who the ‘ell he is?!” You mocked the butler’s voice and jabbed a finger in Undertaker’s direction. He was still trying to feed Ciel dog biscuits.

“You don’t know who I am? I’m ‘urt! Wounded! HAHAHAHA!” Undertaker fell over chortling causing the three sane people in the room to sweat drop at him.

“That is Undertaker. As his name suggests he is an undertaker.” The butler sighed.

“Does he always… laugh?”

“And ask me about custom-made coffins-” The young Lord was cut off by:

“CUSTOM-MADE COFFINS!”

“My, my young master. He’ll be off about custom-made coffins now.” His butler tutted.

“Tell me my Lord. Will you be needing one of my custom-made coffins anytime soon? They’re custom-made y’know! Oh, I’ll need to get your measurements soon as boys your age tend to go through a bit of a growth spurt. Did I tell you that my custom-made coffins are custom-made?”

“Lunatic…” You heard Ciel mutter.

“How about this? You order a bloody coffin to shut ‘im up and I can get outta ‘ere!” You whispered to Ciel.

“Hmm… Undertaker!” Ciel called.

“Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssss?”

He sighed. “They’ll take a custom-made coffin.” He pointed at you.

“WHAT?! YOU LITTLE-” The butler leapt in front of the boy, glaring at you.

“Now to take your measurements! Out yer go my Lord!” He started to shoo out the pair.

“Are you serious?! Undertaker I need to speak with y-”

BAM! Door in face.

“They’re gone now. Gehe~ Sometimes they really get on my nerves. First,” He held up a finger. “Why do you want a custom-made coffin poppet?”

“To shut you up. Look, why am I even here?”

“You know what… I’ve forgotten! BWAHAHAHAHA!”

You took your chance and sprinted to the doors.

“No yer don’t!” Undertaker impeded your escape. “I remember now! I wanted company!”

“Company?”

“Company!”

“Why company?”

“Because of company!”

“…What…”

“Company!”

He’s a bloody nutter. You shook your head, before noticing his arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your shoulder. “Why are your arms around my waist?”

“Company!”

“UNDERTAKER!”

“Wha’? To stop you escaping o’ course! I can’t have company if they’ve ran away can I?”

“So what do you want me to do?”

“Stay with me an’ keep me company!” He started cuddling you.

“Why are you cuddling me?”

“Because you’re so cuddly!”

“Alright. So why do you want me to keep you company?”

“Nobody’s ever been so kind to me before…”

“Kind? When have I been kind?!”

“Well… You’ve been honest with me from the moment I met you!”

“Er… How?”

“You gave me back the stolen goods. If you were dishonest you would have done otherwise. And you didn’t try to attack me nor try to harm me in any way, shape or form since I’ve met you.”

Which was about an hour ago. You thought.

“You’ve told me what you think about me.”

“By calling you a crazy old man?”

“Yes!” He clapped his hands delightedly. “Besides I assume you have no money judging by the way you look. And I know you’re homeless anyway as I see you thieving at the market whenever I go!”

“How does that make me a homeless person?”

“I have… connections.” He cackled

Has he been stalking me? However he’s right about me being homeless. Meh. What’ve I got to lose?

“So poppet! Name and answer if you please!”

“My names ________ and I accept your offer!” You grinned at him.