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Description
*edit 30-9-08 - The story of Manion is ongoing and I will update when additions are made

New additions: *10 and the first of The Appendices.

---------------------------
MANION! Some of you may already be familiar with him, but as you can tell he is what brought the "manion" to "simanion".

****If you have Facebook, I ask very kindly that you join the Official Manion Society [link] and spread the Manion love! *****

There really is no reason to read all this below unless you have a somewhat off-kilter sense of humour or are franly a little bit sick, in which case there is still no reason to read it. Well I'm back to staring blankly at my uni assignment/s. Catch ya soon!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Manion...An Origin:

Manion started as a word. Back in year 10 (2003) roll call there was a girl in our class who's last name was "Mangham", pronounced as you'd expect. My roll call teacher could not pronounce this simple name and every day she called out Emily "Manion".

My associate, Jason Long, and myself found this mispronunciation quite humourous in itself. However, its hilarity was multiplied several times when we decided to bring "manion" into being as a "man - onion". Thus was the origin of Manion.

Manion...A Life:

Due to our sense of humour, Manion's life was never going to be easy. I will now detail his sad and unfortunate conditions.

1* Manion is a walking man-onion with the bodily consistency of an onion. He has pointed sticks as legs, kind of like thicker toothpicks, and has no knees. These make it extremely difficult and awkward for Manion to walk or balance, so if he needs to get anywhere he has to run at full onion speed or he will immediately fall over. After he falls over he cannot get up except.........(see 6*)

2* His mouth is what we call a "Beaker mouth". Any who have seen the muppet scientist Beaker will understand. It flaps. Manion is unable to emit any audible sound and his mouth serves no biological purpose. It appears as though Manion has a sad face. Yes, he is always sad, but this is just a coincidence as that is just the shape of his mouth. When he has fallen over or is getting hurt, Manion's mouth flaps harder and faster..a sort of silent desperate scream.

3* He has beady eyes in a fixed position and no eyelids, meaning (although he despertely needs to) he can never blink. As he is an onion he is always crying and his eyes are always crusted over as a result of this, except..............(see 10*)

4* Manion's entire purpose in life is to find a female manion, or "Womanion". He spends his entire life searching endlessly for a mate. However, he is the only manion in the universe and no other will ever be created, so this will never occur.

5* Everybody hates Manion. As soon as he walks into a room, people get stingy eyes and cry, and are consequently always trying to pummel, impale, crush or burn Manion.

6* Manion, however, can never die, but instead lives forever in constant pain and agony. If he IS crushed, minced, burnt etc. he will live forever in that form and continue to feel the pain of his "should be" death. But manion has a somewhat special ability. He is able to reform into his original state or appear standing back up after he has fallen, but only when no one in the entire world is looking at him, thus making it not that great of a power.

7* Manion has a follower called Manhoo, who is a small normal red onion (or Spanish onion). Manhoo follows behind Manion but when Manion turns around he never sees Manhoo move, and just knows that there is a red onion behind him. (The origin of Manhoo - "manhoo" is the result of trying to write "manion" on your phone in dictionary mode).

8* Manion is claustrophbic and extremely afraid of small, confined spaces. He is also agoraphobic and extremely afraid of large open spaces and the only place he will ever feel truly comfortable is when he is in a space that is exactly the same size as him.

9* Manion's other major power is that he can communicate with onions. The onions can hear and understand him but cannot answer or speak to Manion as they are just onions, thus making this power quite lame. He can also talk to vegetables from the extended Onion family (eg. leeks) and like the onions they can hear him. However, in addition to not being able to respond, they also cannot understand him as they speak a different language, and Manion is moreso talking "at" them, thus making this power even lamer than the first.

10* The only way for Manion to get rid of his continually increasing eye crust is if he painfully gives birth to a badge THROUGH his eye, and the crust becomes part of the badge. He must do this for each eye. Alternatively, if you wanted a badge upon demand you would have to violently shake him and force a badge out prematurely. The beauty of the badge is relative to both the violence with which you shake him and levels of crust. If one were to force a badge to be made when there was no or minimal crust, the pain to Manion is magnified several times - thus a large increase in Manion's pain will produce a minimal increase in others satisfaction. Also, there is a risk that the badge may only half form and Manion will have half a badge coming out of his eye, painfully wedged until another badge forms (which does not create a more beautiful badge, but just a regular badge plus half a badge) or until the next time he dies.

-------------------------------------------------------------

THE APPENDICES - Additional stories or acquired information about Manion.

1* A theory states that the death of the universe occurs when it expands so much that it becomes too large, collapsing in on itself and beginning anew. A second theory states that the universe began when a "singularity" exploded, releasing all matter into "the void" in a phenomenon known as "The Big Bang". A third theory states that these two theories are a direct result of eachother, with the singularity being the result of the universes' contraction, and are in a perpetual state of recurrence.
Manion, being unable to die, survives every one of these. Not only this but because he is the last thing in existence after the contraction of the universe, Manion IS the singularity. As there is nothing else in the universe to technically make him sad, for this fraction of a millisecond he is "not unhappy". Due to a combination of this confusing shift towards non-unhappiness, and the cosmic anomaly in the laws of the universe that prevent a Manionic shift, the instant he experiences this newfound emotional neutrality he explodes with tremendously painful force, causing the Big Bang and the creation of a new universe.

-------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you all have a clearer mental picture of Manion. Spread the word about Manion. Draw a Manion when you're bored. Let Manion remind you that your life is far better than his, and that it would really suck to be him.

We have badges.

Description
*edit 30-9-08 - The story of Manion is ongoing and I will update when additions are made

New additions: *10 and the first of The Appendices.

---------------------------
MANION! Some of you may already be familiar with him, but as you can tell he is what brought the "manion" to "simanion".

****If you have Facebook, I ask very kindly that you join the Official Manion Society [link] and spread the Manion love! *****

There really is no reason to read all this below unless you have a somewhat off-kilter sense of humour or are franly a little bit sick, in which case there is still no reason to read it. Well I'm back to staring blankly at my uni assignment/s. Catch ya soon!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Manion...An Origin:

Manion started as a word. Back in year 10 (2003) roll call there was a girl in our class who's last name was "Mangham", pronounced as you'd expect. My roll call teacher could not pronounce this simple name and every day she called out Emily "Manion".

My associate, Jason Long, and myself found this mispronunciation quite humourous in itself. However, its hilarity was multiplied several times when we decided to bring "manion" into being as a "man - onion". Thus was the origin of Manion.

Manion...A Life:

Due to our sense of humour, Manion's life was never going to be easy. I will now detail his sad and unfortunate conditions.

1* Manion is a walking man-onion with the bodily consistency of an onion. He has pointed sticks as legs, kind of like thicker toothpicks, and has no knees. These make it extremely difficult and awkward for Manion to walk or balance, so if he needs to get anywhere he has to run at full onion speed or he will immediately fall over. After he falls over he cannot get up except.........(see 6*)

2* His mouth is what we call a "Beaker mouth". Any who have seen the muppet scientist Beaker will understand. It flaps. Manion is unable to emit any audible sound and his mouth serves no biological purpose. It appears as though Manion has a sad face. Yes, he is always sad, but this is just a coincidence as that is just the shape of his mouth. When he has fallen over or is getting hurt, Manion's mouth flaps harder and faster..a sort of silent desperate scream.

3* He has beady eyes in a fixed position and no eyelids, meaning (although he despertely needs to) he can never blink. As he is an onion he is always crying and his eyes are always crusted over as a result of this, except..............(see 10*)

4* Manion's entire purpose in life is to find a female manion, or "Womanion". He spends his entire life searching endlessly for a mate. However, he is the only manion in the universe and no other will ever be created, so this will never occur.

5* Everybody hates Manion. As soon as he walks into a room, people get stingy eyes and cry, and are consequently always trying to pummel, impale, crush or burn Manion.

6* Manion, however, can never die, but instead lives forever in constant pain and agony. If he IS crushed, minced, burnt etc. he will live forever in that form and continue to feel the pain of his "should be" death. But manion has a somewhat special ability. He is able to reform into his original state or appear standing back up after he has fallen, but only when no one in the entire world is looking at him, thus making it not that great of a power.

7* Manion has a follower called Manhoo, who is a small normal red onion (or Spanish onion). Manhoo follows behind Manion but when Manion turns around he never sees Manhoo move, and just knows that there is a red onion behind him. (The origin of Manhoo - "manhoo" is the result of trying to write "manion" on your phone in dictionary mode).

8* Manion is claustrophbic and extremely afraid of small, confined spaces. He is also agoraphobic and extremely afraid of large open spaces and the only place he will ever feel truly comfortable is when he is in a space that is exactly the same size as him.

9* Manion's other major power is that he can communicate with onions. The onions can hear and understand him but cannot answer or speak to Manion as they are just onions, thus making this power quite lame. He can also talk to vegetables from the extended Onion family (eg. leeks) and like the onions they can hear him. However, in addition to not being able to respond, they also cannot understand him as they speak a different language, and Manion is moreso talking "at" them, thus making this power even lamer than the first.

10* The only way for Manion to get rid of his continually increasing eye crust is if he painfully gives birth to a badge THROUGH his eye, and the crust becomes part of the badge. He must do this for each eye. Alternatively, if you wanted a badge upon demand you would have to violently shake him and force a badge out prematurely. The beauty of the badge is relative to both the violence with which you shake him and levels of crust. If one were to force a badge to be made when there was no or minimal crust, the pain to Manion is magnified several times - thus a large increase in Manion's pain will produce a minimal increase in others satisfaction. Also, there is a risk that the badge may only half form and Manion will have half a badge coming out of his eye, painfully wedged until another badge forms (which does not create a more beautiful badge, but just a regular badge plus half a badge) or until the next time he dies.

-------------------------------------------------------------

THE APPENDICES - Additional stories or acquired information about Manion.

1* A theory states that the death of the universe occurs when it expands so much that it becomes too large, collapsing in on itself and beginning anew. A second theory states that the universe began when a "singularity" exploded, releasing all matter into "the void" in a phenomenon known as "The Big Bang". A third theory states that these two theories are a direct result of eachother, with the singularity being the result of the universes' contraction, and are in a perpetual state of recurrence.
Manion, being unable to die, survives every one of these. Not only this but because he is the last thing in existence after the contraction of the universe, Manion IS the singularity. As there is nothing else in the universe to technically make him sad, for this fraction of a millisecond he is "not unhappy". Due to a combination of this confusing shift towards non-unhappiness, and the cosmic anomaly in the laws of the universe that prevent a Manionic shift, the instant he experiences this newfound emotional neutrality he explodes with tremendously painful force, causing the Big Bang and the creation of a new universe.

-------------------------------------------------------------
I hope you all have a clearer mental picture of Manion. Spread the word about Manion. Draw a Manion when you're bored. Let Manion remind you that your life is far better than his, and that it would really suck to be him.

We have badges.