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SoImStillUnsure β€” A Promise She Made With Death
Published: 2010-10-24 18:08:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 12522; Favourites: 544; Downloads: 144
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Description She was conceived on the edge of a mirror,
lined with pretty white lace,
that burned the inside of her parents' nostrils.

She was born with a hole in her heart,
that the doctor's never noticed,
and no one bothered to fill.

She met Death on the playground,
when kindergarten was bending her bones.
Enticed by the glinting of his scythe,
as it preyed on a malformed baby rabbit.
She made a pinky promise with him,
swearing that she'd never forget his face.

He came and went,
swayed by corpse breaths
and east-coast winds,
but always leaving her alone.

He showed her how to hurt,
in the worst kind of way.
And each time,
he paid her a visit,
he'd take someone back with him.

She often asked where he would go,
when his curled claws would drag her mother,
her father,
her sister,
and every love she'd ever fallen for,
into the darkness that he crawled from.

All he'd say,
was that she'd find them again someday,
and that he would take her to them, personally.

But as February,
of her fourteenth year,
threatened to consume her whole,
burying her in the snowdrifts and icy winds
of its cavernous belly,
she saw him for the last time.

Without a second glance at her,
he swept her ink colored rabbit
into the crook of his scythe,
and turned his back on her.

For six years,
she waited,
for the promise he'd made.
To see all the ones she'd lost
to his bony grasp.

She had no friends,
no lovers,
no kin,
no pets,
only waiting,
alone,
for the day that he'd take her home.

As she withered into her twenties,
back breaking,
and hair graying,
not from age,
but from the weight of the world,
she began to lose hope.

He was all she'd ever known,
and now,
even he had left her alone.

She wept for him to take her,
as she slept in alleyways,
stained with his fingerprints.

She begged for him to find her,
as she fell on the steps of a church,
whose doors she couldn't approach.

She whimpered for him to save her,
as she stumbled,
heart cold,
and stomach hot,
to the edge of her iron-wrought balcony.

As the ice,
and the concrete,
gathered her into their embrace,
finally,
he came for her.

A twisted smile,
on torn and rotted lips,
and his scythe lined with frost,
and her blood.
He gathered her into his arms,
whispering that all was well,
as his cloak pulled darkness down to close her eyes.
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Comments: 285

SoImStillUnsure In reply to ??? [2014-05-27 19:16:13 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

naikki In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 18:52:04 +0000 UTC]

..beautifully written..great flow..
one tiny typo: it should be.. "of its cavernous belly"

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to naikki [2014-02-22 17:47:19 +0000 UTC]

Oh boy! Thanks for pointing that out But I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

TruthisTruth In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 18:25:27 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on the Daily Deviation!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to TruthisTruth [2014-02-22 17:46:33 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! And for the feature too!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

TruthisTruth In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-02-22 17:54:08 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

djinn98 In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 18:16:30 +0000 UTC]

Very dark and very moving, full of vivid images. I like it very much. Almost makes you feel glad when she is taken 'home', yet sad that you still understand what that all means. Very well done. Thank you.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to djinn98 [2014-05-27 19:16:37 +0000 UTC]

No, thank you! I'm glad you found it moving.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

KonichiwaHitobito In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 16:58:21 +0000 UTC]

This is dark yet beautiful at the same time. Lovely job, and congrats on the DD! Β Β  Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 2

SoImStillUnsure In reply to KonichiwaHitobito [2014-05-27 19:16:47 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

KonichiwaHitobito In reply to KonichiwaHitobito [2014-02-19 17:00:07 +0000 UTC]

Whoops! Sorry 'bout the drowning guy, I was just fooling aroung with the emoticons and forgot to delete him.Β Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

caatalexis In reply to KonichiwaHitobito [2014-02-19 19:00:05 +0000 UTC]

Maybe he's drowning in tears at the happy sadness of it all.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

KonichiwaHitobito In reply to caatalexis [2014-02-19 21:58:18 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, maybe! Heh heh... Good suggestion, I wouldn't have thought of it.Β Β Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Lexie-the-Pixie [2014-02-19 16:56:10 +0000 UTC]

AmazingΒ Β  Congraulations on the DD! you deserve it

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to Lexie-the-Pixie [2014-02-22 17:48:47 +0000 UTC]

Why thank you very much Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Lexie-the-Pixie In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-02-23 10:59:54 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome!Β  Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

AllonsyCat755 [2014-02-19 16:40:43 +0000 UTC]

Really good. I mean really , bravo on this! And congrats on the DD!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to AllonsyCat755 [2014-05-27 19:16:59 +0000 UTC]

Aww, thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

AllonsyCat755 In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-05-27 22:49:18 +0000 UTC]

No prob! ^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

LeftUnfinished In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 16:40:14 +0000 UTC]

Adore it. Congrats!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to LeftUnfinished [2014-05-27 19:17:08 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Lintu47 In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 15:48:17 +0000 UTC]

Congrats on the DD!
Have a nice day!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to Lintu47 [2014-05-27 19:17:20 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, thank you. And you as well.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Lintu47 In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-07-10 09:15:27 +0000 UTC]

No problem

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

NotSoChibi [2014-02-19 15:09:24 +0000 UTC]

Simply beautiful... Congratulations on DD

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to NotSoChibi [2014-05-27 19:17:26 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

erfdog10 In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 14:41:08 +0000 UTC]

wow. this sounds amazing! great word choice and everything...

it's pieces like this that really inspire me to become a better writer.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to erfdog10 [2014-05-27 19:17:42 +0000 UTC]

Oh, thank you so much! Good luck on your journey

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

erfdog10 In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-05-27 21:41:03 +0000 UTC]

No problem! Happy to comment.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Nevuela In reply to ??? [2014-02-19 13:03:04 +0000 UTC]

Wow.Β Just... wow. 0_0 No words for this.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to Nevuela [2014-05-27 19:18:04 +0000 UTC]

Well that's a reaction nonetheless, thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Nevuela In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-05-29 01:08:02 +0000 UTC]

^______^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Gryffgirl [2014-02-19 12:22:11 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on your DD!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to Gryffgirl [2014-05-27 19:18:10 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

katleidoscopic [2014-02-19 12:20:45 +0000 UTC]

I was hooked from the beginning! Β Congratulations! Β 

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to katleidoscopic [2014-05-27 19:18:33 +0000 UTC]

I'm glad you enjoyed it so. Thank you.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

RoxanneMilson [2014-02-19 12:07:04 +0000 UTC]

This is beautiful. Such a tender subject that you've told so beautifully. Something dark and melancholy but all the while gentle. I could see Death returning and almost smiling softly and shaking his head 'not yet' until the very end. Absolutely stunning work, I am so glad I was able to read it^^

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to RoxanneMilson [2014-05-27 19:19:01 +0000 UTC]

Oh, well thank you! I really appreciate your kind words, and am glad you enjoyed it.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

RoxanneMilson In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2014-05-30 22:58:32 +0000 UTC]

Not a problem

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

gypsyfoxdancer In reply to ??? [2011-10-21 02:55:01 +0000 UTC]

DAMN! That is really amazing! I have no words to accurately say how EXCELLENT that is. I felt so bad for her. The end actually made me happy. Great job!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to gypsyfoxdancer [2012-02-07 22:24:13 +0000 UTC]

Oh gee! Thank you so much!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

xXMusic-MuseXx [2011-10-20 18:14:39 +0000 UTC]

I can't explain why but this made me tear up just a bit. Wonderfully written by the way.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to xXMusic-MuseXx [2012-02-07 22:24:28 +0000 UTC]

Well if it affected you, my job is done. Thank you.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MweorCatlover In reply to ??? [2011-06-07 01:19:40 +0000 UTC]

Wow this is really beautiful in a really sick way...I love this so much; I could watch it while reading it, ya know? It was like I was ready Poe

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to MweorCatlover [2011-06-07 02:46:27 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow! That's so kind of you to say!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

MweorCatlover In reply to SoImStillUnsure [2011-06-07 22:26:37 +0000 UTC]

Well I put it in my book of favorites

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to MweorCatlover [2011-06-07 23:33:26 +0000 UTC]

Well thanks so much!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

beyondthemanifesto In reply to ??? [2011-03-26 07:13:47 +0000 UTC]

The imagery in this one was so amazing. the part were you wrote "as she slept in alleyways, stained with his fingerprints." was one of the greatest lines ive heard ffrom your writing because the moment I read it, my heart sank. every line in the poem seems to fit so well with each other like you taylored them all at once. In all, geat job! definitely a favorite of mine.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

SoImStillUnsure In reply to beyondthemanifesto [2011-03-26 08:09:42 +0000 UTC]

Aw, thank you so very much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Atropaean [2011-03-20 02:44:11 +0000 UTC]

i cannot tell if stanza I is a reference to constraining the breathing room of the parents or to cocaine.
the mirror, as if already shown who she should be from birth, forced reflection. great opening

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1


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