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SiJePuis [2015-09-19 22:36:08 +0000 UTC]

Whoa, I'm late. Sorry!

Not much to say that hasn't already been said (kudos, Ammobot, Alanah and Neonwave ^^) But I think fixing the right side character's eye contact would help a lot. It kind of goes wonky while the hand is moving through that arc (which was well-executed: good job!); the line of sight kinda wanders up into space. I noticed this problem in the Bouquet animation you did, too.

I'm going to suggest something a bit out there to help you with your face rig issues you mentioned. Just occurred to me.
Try researching puppets and animatronics--Disney and *especially* Jim Henson's company are great places to look for good character work. Getting created faces to move convincingly is an important issue in that field, and, even with my limited knowledge of how 3D animation really works, from what I've gathered I think a lot of the principles are the same. Who knows: you might be able to apply some of what you learn.

Keep up the good work.

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Liketheisland [2015-09-19 01:21:04 +0000 UTC]

Whew, already some great crits on this one. Not much I can add except that both character's expressions would show more life if their eyes blinked more and their eyebrows were more flexible (and an eye blink when the speaker turns would make things more believable). Also, it might help if the young woman were positioned at a 3/4 view instead of a straight profile to make the pose look less flat. Other than that, I like the acting, especially that enraged pose at the end!

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AmmoBot-HB [2015-09-16 03:45:28 +0000 UTC]

This is the first time I've seen this type of animation on deviantart so great job on that it's awesome to see some 3D animation. Even without reading the description first with only their appearance you did a good job of conveying what is going on and telling a story. I definitely felt like they were in some kind of child's party atmosphere. The body language for the most part is pretty spot on but it could use some improvements which I'll mention. As well the character's appearance does a good job on telling their personality. Alright let me break it down like this: Body language, audio and animation need a bit of tuning at this point.

Starting with body language! For the most part it is very fluid but with this type of animation these things need to be as slick as possible since body language is a major aspect people notice. It is most of how we communicate so even slight differences can tend to stand out to the average viewer. What I notice is that the older lady on the right has great attention paid to her motions yet the girl on the left seems to be mostly jerky and animatronic instead of smooth. One thing to make a note of is while the older lady on the right is talking her full body is making slight twists naturally. Before she turns around her hips are still in a slight motion to compensate for how she's moving her upper body. The young girl on the left side seems to not have this happen at all. Even when she bends over and everything her lower half of her body remains stiff which is a bit jarring.

Audio is a bit straightforward I think you know what's going on there. If you have the knowledge take the audio of the older ladies voice and clean up the background noise. However also to note the girl on the left when she makes that sound before she gets cut off it is barely comprehensible. It's hard to tell what kind of sound it is as it is lacking emotion and is cut off so quickly that it's more of an oddity than anything.

Finally with the animation this kind of ties into body language but just make sure you clean up the jerky moments in the piece. When the girl on the left jerks back after having her shoulder patted seems very strange with its sudden quickness. Also while the hand patting her shoulder for the most part is very smooth it does seem to jerk a bit as it's coming up to pat and as it retracts back. Other than that I think you have a good idea of what else needs to be done.

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golem1 [2015-09-14 18:08:51 +0000 UTC]

Extremely EXTREMELY well done.  Can't say enough,  so I  won't try.

This is comparable to what I've seen in some well-known animated shorts such as "Sintel" (see YouTube) Granted, it's a work-in-progress, but the quality of the work that has gone into it is clearly of professional quality.

I have a dream, that the smoothness and realism of animations like this will be much easier to achieve, and the last vestige of a gap between real human movement and expression and computer animation will be closed by high-quality dynamic models representing mathematically the internal processes that give rise to human motion.

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British-Prophetess [2015-09-12 23:19:08 +0000 UTC]

I think the animation is great as it conveyed the emotions. Great work on the expressions too.

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hreyas [2015-09-12 15:34:48 +0000 UTC]

NICe 

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pinkcott456 [2015-09-11 22:54:05 +0000 UTC]

Animation is well synced with the audio, but the animation really seem robotic and slightly unnatural especially for the girl. Also, though the emotions are shown in the body movement there's not much on the face espeicially for the adult. Overall the animation is really well made and the movements fits the feelings each person is feeling.

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Alanah123 [2015-09-11 18:04:49 +0000 UTC]

hello! I saw you requested critique so I felt like trying to help out I'm still a student so I dont know everything (who does haha?) but we' ll see if you find it helpful

I really like the gestures made. People often end up overanimating but you kept it nice and natural. I also like how tight and straight the character on the right is. Maybe you could contrast it by making the one on the left more dynamic (tilting hip in the opposite way of the ribcage for example. tilting agains each other (also face and legs etc. creates a lot of dynamic)

Lipsync: just like people anticipate before doing an action, there's anticipation in lipsync. the sound follows the shape of the mouth so audio is so the mouth shape is often a frame or two before the sound. (have you heard of Aaron Blaise? He used to be a disney animator. He animates traditionally but he has a youtube account where he uploads all kinds of tips and explains the principles of animation. you should check it out, his tutorials are awesome) 

Arcs: as stated, organic beings move in arcs. it will also help against stiff movements

Reference: I dont know if you've made any reference but I can highly recommend it. Try and act out what your characters are doing or saying and record it. Look it over a few times (you can also put it in maya so you can compare). sometimes a tradionally animated pass (especially if you have tvpaint or something) can help to quickly test some timing. I dont know how youre on drawing. Thumbnails are great too! I, and many others, use combinations of these. I watched quite a lot of lectures and there's almost always a reference, a 2d pass or thumbnails if not two or all of em. 

Slow ins/Slow outs: Some motions are rather sudden. I think it would help to add more slow ins and outs. 

hierarchy: People move in certain order (sometimes in a slightly different order but those often give a different meaning to the movement. for ex. you can look behind you 1. head turns first, then the shoulders follow. 2. shoulders rotate back and your head follows. one would perhaps mean the character is startled while the other might mean looking back to a friend he's in conversation with).
Most often the torso drives the motion. the hip is often the root but in scenes like these, where the characters are mainly standing still, the chest could be the root. Its often (hip), chest, shoulders, elbow, wrist and fingers. one follows another and has a slightly belated response to the driver. There's also weight involved. A head is heavy so it follows the torso a little later and often has some overlap as well (because it's heavy). those are things you try and analyse in Disney films for example. I analyse a lot of animation so it's not a word in a theoretic book but you also want to be able to recognise and then use that knowledge.

I suggest printing out the animation principles and hanging them on the wall in front of you (I have em right above my computer). It helps to look at your blocking, then look through the princilples to see if its in the animation (and sometimes if theyre supposed to be there at all. animation can be tricky as you probably know.)

I dont really know you (just came across this animation) so I have no clue how long youve been animating and if any of this makes sence or if youve already had all this theory. I just hope these notes can help you out! If anyhting needs any explanation just ask, i dont bite

good luck with youre animation and most importantly: have fun!

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GeetBhatt [2015-09-11 05:47:23 +0000 UTC]

Awesome.

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Neonwave47 [2015-09-11 03:34:41 +0000 UTC]

Good*

- Audio is well synced to the animation.

- The animation is smooth and expressive 

Bad*

- Some motion felt a bit stiff and robotic

- Some motion like in the ending where the girl on the left lift her head up, there's no sense of weight on it.

Conclusion*

- Well done animation but if those issues are tweaked out then the animation will be fantastic!

Suggestion and tips*

- When it comes to weight or motion, especially on humans, they never move abruptley or in an instant, let's say a person is pointing someone quickly, when the arm is lifted, it starts out a bit slow but builds speed and during the pose of the point, it either looses it speeds and slows down, or stops a bit but bounce.

- When it comes to motion on organic things, they move in an arc motion, meaning, anything like moving an arm, rotating head, or even walking, there is an arc motion in them, without it, we all would move like robots. 

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ChaseAvano [2015-09-11 03:04:37 +0000 UTC]

Ha Ha! Well Done!

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