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SparklinBurgndy — The Perfect Dwarf Woman
Published: 2014-03-29 16:49:25 +0000 UTC; Views: 2648; Favourites: 57; Downloads: 8
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Dressed in armor, a big, bloody axe in her hand and her baby strapped to her back. I wanted to give her a beard, too, but I suck at drawing beards, regardless of gender.So this drawing is a bit of therapy for me. Now normally I have zero problem with the chainmail bikini crowd. It's an escape, what's wrong with a bit of titillation? (Pun intended) After all, those drawn to men have the furry loincloth to look forward to. However, as of late it seems like the female sword and sorcery types are being awarded less and less clothing/relevance/respect. Yeah, we get Tauriel and I do like her, but from a plot standpoint she's just there to get Legolas's panties in a bunch.
And give him a long-standing aversion to dwarves.
Even some of the dwarf studies on DA are like: Male dwarves wear three layers of plate armor and female dwarves are just naked. All the time. I know it gets cold in caves. Don't care.
So I wanted to draw a kick-ass female dwarf, complete with layers and not quivering her way through a battle. She just rivets an extra plate on her shoulder guard, straps her baby to her back and charges into the fray.
"Didjoo see Mummy chopping those orcs? Yeah, Mummy chopped those orcs good, didn't she? They looked silly with no heads!"
Thorin Oakenshield will need a queen when he becomes King Under the Mountain, won't he?
She does need a name, though!
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Comments: 66
Well, when you're defending your homeland that will get overrun if you lose *anyway* . . . .
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Why will I lose? I'm confused. Because I play for child care before the battle? Just kidding.
OH, I get it. I had to re-read it. I guess in some very stressful fantasy worlds it's a necessity.
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LOVE this PIC!!
And the "Didjoo see Mummy chopping those orcs? Yeah, Mummy chopped those orcs good, didn't she? They looked silly with no heads!" line
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The little one should learn early that orcs look silly with no heads!
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very nice! love the detail here, and her hair especially, it is nice to see this race/gender you pretty much never do (at least comparatively) in fantasy, and I am glad you avoided the beard, she looks best without it, and it would've ruined it (IMO lol). well done!
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I've done both. I do have a fondness for Cheri Littlebottom, but i decided to go without a beard this time.
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up to you with your own works really lol.
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To be quite honest, when I was in my teens and into my mid-20's I would wear the chain mail that Dad made (Katy and I have it now). The shirt alone weighed 30 pounds, then there was the sword and sword belt, the helm (also chain) and shield (wooden, 25 pounds). I was able to wear this (being the boundless energy of the young) all day.
A few years ago I tried it all back on and --outside of getting the shirt stuck under my boobs -- much swearing was had -- wore it a little then took it off. I thought I could fly.
I think you and I will make very Mighty Dwarf Women (Ladies?) Between everything, I've the kit for both of us!
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Yay! I can admit I've never worn chainmail. . . . OR plate.
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Trust me. The men and women who fought weren't just waltzing around in that play-mail we see at SCA events or Renn-Faires -- if Renn-Faires even deal in mail anymore. Walking around in 12 gauge mail is heavy, hot and occasionally rather pinchy. I used to get my hair caught in it even when I had it braided. Mail headpieces have the bad habit of sneaking forward and covering eyes (of course, Dad made them for his head size not mine)
I can see why people went bersarker just to take the armour off!
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Katy and Michele were pissed as one of the 9 Hels when they came back from Hobbit 2 because of the romance @ between Tauriel and Kili. When I went to see it (by myself!! yay, I'm a big girl!! I just liked the icon) all I saw was Tauriel trying to be friendly and Legolas being a hard-nosed dumb-ass. Unless they started sucking face, I really didn't see the whole problem. Or is it me?
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I thought Kili and Tauriel were adorable! I realize that, from a plot standpoint so far, having his (quasi)girlfriend run off with a dwarf was just supposed to get Legolas's panties in a bunch.
Looking at it from Tauriel's point of view, it's got to be Kili all the way. Here she is in Mirkwood, surrounded by stuck-up, stoic, elven hard-asses. Even if/though Legolas does like her that way, he can't show it because daddy wouldn't approve. Daddy proves this by telling Tauriel to forget it. Just straight, forget it. She also seems to be a bit of an anomaly as a female warrior. We haven't really seen much proof of it, but I can see the elves being fairly gender-normative. Tauriel might not get much attention from the elven lads for being a warrior.
THEN she helps saves the dwarves from the spiders and Kili's like: You just slaughtered those monsters and saved our lives! THAT'S HOT! I think the second thing he says to her is: Aren't you look in my pants? It seems like Tauriel's definitely thrown for a loop by this flirty, saucy dwarf. He flirts and teases and tells her stories. She's actually getting positive attention! OMG!
sparklinburgndy.deviantart.com…
So I'm all for Kiliel! Sister, you grab that hot dwarf and run off to make some hobbits! >> I'm not sure that's where hobbits come from, but it makes sense.
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I have absolutely no problem with most pairs people make and write stories on. Remember I'm a Fic-Trollop and am just waiting for each story to be written 
Yep, Thranduil's being a hard-ass but considering what's going on inside his kingdom gives him the right to be cranky. If my trees were being filled with rot, spiders and dead creatures, I'd be more than annoyed and on the inside frantic on the way to stop it with worry over the goblins and orcs coming into play. It may be (and this is just a theory) that Legolas is being held back for a political marriage? I would have liked to have seen more interaction between him and his Dad considering all the baby/toddler/elfling stories that already have been written. It would have been a nice "aside" from His Majesty's serious almost frozen face.
As for the Women-Warriors, I still think Mirkwood (yes, I'm sorry, quit yelling in my ear...not you, Love) has them. It would be a privilege to serve while the gentler elf-ladies (and counterparts would be placed in other positions. I think it's Tolkien -canon (and please correct me if I'm wrong) that the Elves don't breed quickly so protecting the ladies who can and will is paramount.
I love discussing theory with you, Love! Tolkien does sort of say where the Hobbits came from but considering that four types started the Shire and that they did cross over the Anduin Goddess only knows where the species started from.....or did he? I forget. :d'oh:
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Yeah, that's what I figured about Legolas - they'd need some leverage if they ever had to flee Mirkwood and shack up with some other elves. Oh, do you think maybe Thranduil wanted Legolas to marry Arwen?!
The old Dragonlance books had a half-dwarf species that was a mix of regular dwarves and . . . man . . . memory is crapping out. . . . whatever their generic brand hobbits were called. They weren't *exactly* hobbits, but they were accomplished thieves and they were small and dainty. Anyway, the mixed dwarves were called gully dwarves.
I've never actually read the Hobbit myself, but I have been surrounded by geekdom for so long it's almost like I don't need to. The first time I was visiting my ex-brother-in-law, he started chiding his friends about making a mess in his kitchen. Everyone immediately burst into the 'That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!' song. And this was a good eight years before the Lord of the Rings movies came out, much less the Hobbit. XD
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Oh Goddess, your brother-in-law was singing from the old Rankin and Bass version of "The Hobbit" (which can be gotten at amazon). I have the soundtrack as a record and a CD, thankfully. the drawings are horrid, especially of the Elves. You'd think that the same illustrators who made Lady Amathea in the "last Unicorn" so ethereal could pop out such crappy elves. there's also a "Return of the King" version by the same and it has some interesting songs in it.
Most Worlds have cross-overs between species (and I know what you mean about the Dragonlance being on the tip of one's tongue) so I can't see why the Tolkien Universe should be any difference unless the mother/offspring were shunned.
It very well could be that Thranduil wanted a "political" marriage for his son(s). We have no clue out side of fanon of how many Sons and Daughters His Majesty has. Having Legolas marry Arwen would still keep the peace between all three sets of ElvenHeim, Greenwood, Lorien and Rivendell.
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Yeah, I remember that cartoon! All the dwarves looked exactly alike and the orcs were like 80% mouth.
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They really looked more like large frogs than orcs and the elves looked like little ground imps; yet they drew Elrond reasonably well. He still looked on the odd side and even the Hobbits looked like the dwarves.
Both Katy and I like the "whip song" from their "Return of the King". www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdXQJS… ; It just makes the orcs seem like they want to sit around and bask in whatever sun there was.
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I can't think of a name for her but she is bloody brilliant and YES! Dammit I am SICK TO DEATH of the mostly-naked twit in a leather thong armed with a paring knife who suddenly seems unable to defend herself when some puke wants to rape her. Because a hard dick makes women weak and stupid. I think she's fabulous. And Thorin can be her bitch.
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Why does a hard dick make women stupid? You just stomp on it until it's flat and go on one's own way. Kids today (and damn the movies)
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No I don't like them flat. I could just hack it off, pack it with latex and keep it for when I want it.
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You KNOW I just spat my morning tea though my nose at that one!
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If you wanted to rape this one, you'd have to allot two hours to getting her out of that armor first. Let's face it, by then, she will have cut you in half.
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Just had the weird idea last night that displaced dwarves would keep packs of mastiffs trained to work in unison to take down wargs. GET OUT OF MY HEAD!
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Only one thing to do hon - write it or draw it. Only way those pesky bunnies go.
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True! The cable's out anyway; must be a sign.
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Mr. Kevin (my Killer Bunny navigator in the Bunny-Mobile) would like you both to know he's bitten you both.
And Mastiffs are 200# or so. The Dwarf Ladies could ride them! My brother-in-law used to have one; and although Pauly used to slobber like a bad dishwasher he had the bite that could dent a steel bumper. We found that out when one of Kent's (my very very stupid b-i-l) friends tried to grab Hailey and I let Pauly go. Pauly was gnawing on the bumper and refused to let the man out of the car which is what I wanted. Kent didn't see it that way --idiot.
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vera :this is hot and scary at the same time
yeah this is lovley but I think I got goose bumps
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YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND MY ADORATION OF WOMEN IN FULL ARMOR. And the baby just makes it even more amazing! You can be a mother AND fuck shit up!
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Of course you can be a mom and fuck shit up!
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I am aware of this, it's just I see too much crap on tumblr (I hate tumblr sometimes but god I can't leave) where people are idiots and put down women who want to be moms by defending with "Not ALL women want to be moms!" and that's true, but that doesn't mean those that are are any less badass! >:U BATTLEAXE DWARROW MOMMY IS MY FAVORITE OKAY.
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Yes! BATTLEAXE DWARROW MOMMY KICKS ASS, TAKES NAMES AND CHANGES NAPPIES! NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER!
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That baby is gonna have epic bragging rights later in life!
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Pretty much as soon as he/she learns to talk! Also, what's a dwarrow?
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It's another term for dwarf! :U Apparently, in Tolkien-verse, "dwarrows" is the proper plural of dwarf. And a lady dwarf is called a dwarrowdam/
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. . . What if she's not a mum yet?
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I have no idea. I think it refers to all dwarf women (that's how I've seen it used) but I haven't seen a definition or anything in any sources. :U I'll have to look it up.
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Okay, the Dragonlance terms were 'harrns' for male dwarves and 'frawls' for lady dwarves.
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Oh, I like that!
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The old Dragonlance books had words for dwarf men and dwarf women. I want to say the word for dwarf woman was 'damen', but I think that's actually German.
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Really? Where's that? Dwarrowdam makes me feel as if the Lady is some sort of pregnant mini-pony instead of a warrior unto herself.
I hate to ask you for a source but I'm going to, Love. Let me guess, it's somewhere in the books other than the 4 main ones?
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Ah! Apparently, all versions are technically correct. Oops! My bad. ^ ^U
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Nope, not a problem, Love! It just sort of sounds offensive and I wanted to make certain that it was actually Tolkien doing the writing. I saw from the wiki-link you gave that there's quite a great deal written by Christopher Tolkien and then the entomology made me wonder. I tend to trust the original writings rather than a second or third source.
There's also a theory that dwarf-ladies are impossible to discern from the dwarves (yes, I'm using my spelling) and that are actually very few of them.
Wiki is good to a point and I'm going to check on a few of those links that are listed. thank you for doing so!
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Get back to me with what you find! I'll admit, a lot of the stuff I think is canon is actually just commonly circulated fanon, and I only find out that it's not when I look it up myself. ^ ^U I'm a bit gullible so I'm just like "Oh! This must be true! WHO NEEDS SOURCES. DURR."
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