HOME | DD

Description
The darkness closes in on me
it smothers me
it strangles me
and yet i welcome it with open arms
i love its shadows, i need its charms
to cover up the pain i feel
-to never show what's truly real

because i'd hate to have to share my pain-
add my worries to someone else's chain
to let slip for once that i do feel hurt
-let out the feelings from where they lurk

I build the wall up as high as I can
and smile wide with bright blue eyes
but behind them, the turmoil is growing
swelling and climbing
until it scratches at the door
screaming to get out
but my smile remains plastered
for this skill i have mastered

to show you who you want to see
who you hope to see
the girl you expect me to be
the show you expect me to put on happily

yet here behind the storming eyes
are tears just longing to be cried
the flood is pushing at the door
the dam cannot stop it anymore

the rigid concrete crumbles down
and for but a moment, my mouth betrays me in a frown
I feel the heat rise to my face
my shattered heart begins to race
and deep inside my stomach flips
I feel the trembling of my lips

I cannot hold the feelings back,
I've lost my strength somehow
I hold my hands to my head
but my sanity slips through the cracks
the tears flow freely now

Down my cheeks they rush
so much built up inside
and with one tender touch
my barriers fall

Shattered and kneeling by your feet,
finally my true self shows
I cannot hold myself together
I'm not as strong as I seem
and now everyone knows

I feel as though you've stripped me
of the mask I wore so long
and behind that sincere smile
lies the face arranged all wrong:
big puffy eyes, stormy gray, with tears welling up in them
though once twinkling, they've lost their sparkle and now are dull and dim
red blotchy cheeks and shaking lips-- so uncertain of what to say
there are no words to explain this
there's nothing to relay

and yet you still know who i am
and somehow you know why
I am kneeling by your feet
but you just watch me cry

you're shocked and disgusted
by this awful surprise
that maybe i'm not so strong
underneath all these lies

I wish you had never seen me here
this glimpse of the truth

And yet I wish you'd wrap me in your arms
and very softly croon
that everything would be alright
and of course you understand
-this happens to us all

but you don't
you just stare
and imagine that bright smile
a giggle and a silly smirk
bright eyes of a child

and here I'll lie
my chest split open
and as you glance back
I'm sure you won't even notice

this gaping hole in me
these bleeding bits
shattered beyond repair

this dark unknown
that I cannot sort through

the crumpled form
of what
once was my heart

Description
The darkness closes in on me
it smothers me
it strangles me
and yet i welcome it with open arms
i love its shadows, i need its charms
to cover up the pain i feel
-to never show what's truly real

because i'd hate to have to share my pain-
add my worries to someone else's chain
to let slip for once that i do feel hurt
-let out the feelings from where they lurk

I build the wall up as high as I can
and smile wide with bright blue eyes
but behind them, the turmoil is growing
swelling and climbing
until it scratches at the door
screaming to get out
but my smile remains plastered
for this skill i have mastered

to show you who you want to see
who you hope to see
the girl you expect me to be
the show you expect me to put on happily

yet here behind the storming eyes
are tears just longing to be cried
the flood is pushing at the door
the dam cannot stop it anymore

the rigid concrete crumbles down
and for but a moment, my mouth betrays me in a frown
I feel the heat rise to my face
my shattered heart begins to race
and deep inside my stomach flips
I feel the trembling of my lips

I cannot hold the feelings back,
I've lost my strength somehow
I hold my hands to my head
but my sanity slips through the cracks
the tears flow freely now

Down my cheeks they rush
so much built up inside
and with one tender touch
my barriers fall

Shattered and kneeling by your feet,
finally my true self shows
I cannot hold myself together
I'm not as strong as I seem
and now everyone knows

I feel as though you've stripped me
of the mask I wore so long
and behind that sincere smile
lies the face arranged all wrong:
big puffy eyes, stormy gray, with tears welling up in them
though once twinkling, they've lost their sparkle and now are dull and dim
red blotchy cheeks and shaking lips-- so uncertain of what to say
there are no words to explain this
there's nothing to relay

and yet you still know who i am
and somehow you know why
I am kneeling by your feet
but you just watch me cry

you're shocked and disgusted
by this awful surprise
that maybe i'm not so strong
underneath all these lies

I wish you had never seen me here
this glimpse of the truth

And yet I wish you'd wrap me in your arms
and very softly croon
that everything would be alright
and of course you understand
-this happens to us all

but you don't
you just stare
and imagine that bright smile
a giggle and a silly smirk
bright eyes of a child

and here I'll lie
my chest split open
and as you glance back
I'm sure you won't even notice

this gaping hole in me
these bleeding bits
shattered beyond repair

this dark unknown
that I cannot sort through

the crumpled form
of what
once was my heart