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Published: 2008-02-22 22:46:19 +0000 UTC; Views: 131; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 1
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Description
You look down quietlyat your hands
and I wonder what you're thinking
Your brow furrows, deep in your thoughts
the corners of your mouth slip into a frown
and suddenly my spirits sinking
You glance at me
and my stomach ties itself in knots
my head reels, my knees lock
I wait for you to speak one word
But only a soft steady beating is heard
You glance back down
and examine fervently
the something in your palms
but I cannot tell what it is
I watch as you bring it close to your face
and you poke and prod it
you seem confused
like you don't know what to do
with the something you have found
Once more your eyes lock on mine
and I know you have something to tell me
but you say nothing-
looking down again
And as you ponder,
I have the strangest feeling deep inside
I put my hand to my chest
and wait
yet there is no pulse
and now I realize
that the something you hold in your hands
is not a simple trinket
it's fragile and it's tender
and I'll need it again someday
But now you have it
and I can't seem to take it back
I just ask that you take care of it please
don't drop it, it may crack
it's still tender from the last time it was torn
and is only beginning to mend
You look at it pensively
and now I whisper to you
"Please be careful.
Hold it tight.
Don't be reckless
with that somthing in your hands.
For, you see, it is my heart."
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Comments: 9
lost-chadow [2008-08-26 19:03:35 +0000 UTC]
I like this one. It's creative, and really pulls you in.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
wdsjac [2008-02-24 16:44:35 +0000 UTC]
I actually really prefer the loose structure of this poem.
I enjoy the way it draws you in with the climax at the end.
The descriptions of your feelings are well described and easy to envisage.
I think this poem is really beautiful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
cutxhere [2008-02-23 17:03:14 +0000 UTC]
yes, it's really beautiful, the simple idea is lovely.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
anedz [2008-02-23 03:06:15 +0000 UTC]
i love the concept and the words. theres not much of a structure or rythmn, but i think it makes it sound more like you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to anedz [2008-02-23 03:15:06 +0000 UTC]
thank you.. and i know.. the rhythm just.. isnt set.. i dunno i couldnt get it right.. i might work on it again later
👍: 0 ⏩: 0