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Published: 2008-12-06 07:35:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 148; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description
Tight cords strap me to this cold death bedbright warmth flowing out, staining everything red.
and deserve it I might
still I scream
try to explain myself
But the words tumble out
landing in misshapen chunks,
my heart spilling like
overly sweet vomit--
not so beautiful the second time around
and I find even I do not
quite understand
myself.
I'm lost in this maze of
pride in myself and devotion to you
poisonous need and necessary understanding
searing pain and overflowing ecstasy
And I cannot explain myself
but certainly, you can see?
My heart beats erratically before you
such stunning red sweet syrup flowing
reaching desperately out to you
yet you turn so quickly away
do you not see?
no, you must
for you stifle a tremor in your lips
and, with a look of disgust in your eye
that would make even the highest of gods
ashamed,
you shake my touch from your skin
maybe this is called for
lord knows my mistakes are not few
but
Can't you see I'm trying?
Drowning in my own persistence
Losing a constant battle with
this everlasting lie
we call
reality
and I'm dreaming
and wishing
even praying
that hope still exists--
has not been
trampled
strangled
smothered
by the cold hard hands of
"truth"
but what is the use of my desperate prayer?
If this "god" had any pity
he would simply shut this
defective invention of his
down
But death laughed in my face
when I asked him
to court me
And I looked the devil in the eyes
and he shuddered
Yeah, Satan himself turned away from me
See, maybe I'm very wrong
or maybe I'm utterly right
but if neither wants me,
on which side do I fall?
we'll wave this custody court session away
with the jury locked in their sound proof lair
to gossip and judge behind closed doors
and we'll forget I ever happened
Bleach the dark blood stains
a perfect white.
Yank the cord.
Cut the power.
Push the button.
count to seven.
Push it again.
I'll start myself over yet.
Cause I'm throwing up my hands
forfeiting this fight
The moon lights fire to a charcoal sky
I refuse to waste this night.
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Comments: 21
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 07:44:08 +0000 UTC]
true. but im stuggling to see if it even makes sense.
because it does to ME
but i'm half asleep and nearly insane at the moment.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 07:46:32 +0000 UTC]
Well I'm insane whether I'm tired or not, so I am no help to you there
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 07:48:06 +0000 UTC]
*laughs*
but did it... make any sense to you at all?
because i think insane people have the best minds, far more interesting thoughts, and good taste.
so what do you THINK?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 07:52:53 +0000 UTC]
sounds like your trying to get someone to notice you but it is failing terribly...
of course I was never able to see much in the depth of words so if this is all symbolism or some metaphor I am also of no help...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 07:54:01 +0000 UTC]
no
you got it just fine.
victory!
at least it makes sense....
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 07:57:48 +0000 UTC]
makes sense...
tis a bit overwritten though...
or so it would seem...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 07:59:42 +0000 UTC]
well i tend to ramble i suppose
especially when i'm struggling to get my point across...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 08:02:09 +0000 UTC]
Well struggle not!
I hear there is a book filled with words that are used to convey meanings
dictionary or something like that...
I think that is what they call it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 08:05:25 +0000 UTC]
yeah. i have one of those, but it smells all musty
and i must have a faulty version
because it seems like no matter how clear of words i choose, I still end up with all too many misunderstandings
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 08:08:42 +0000 UTC]
I see.....
I always liked the encyclopedia set better
where else can you find internal views of clocks guns and other stuff to build with K'nex and legos
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 16:20:01 +0000 UTC]
the internet? *laughs*
i don't know... can't say I was a great builder of clocks and guns...
my legos always seemed to form unreal things.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 19:20:32 +0000 UTC]
I always built clocks and guns
ones that work and ones that didn't
and sometimes I would build airships and other things but they were never as fun because I hating pretending
it always made me feel like a kid
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 19:42:52 +0000 UTC]
hm...
I suppose we are opposites there.
I always made things that were not useful... and usually were also imaginary things... like a magical time machine or a teleportation device...
I love pretending.
I do it now, still.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 19:45:20 +0000 UTC]
lol...
I always feel like a kid...
the only pretending I usually do is coming up with impossible scenarios and trying to figure them out with my head...
I still love to play...
I just never much liked pretending...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 19:50:07 +0000 UTC]
well..
sometimes it's nice to feel a bit like a kid again...
now, I want to go play something *laughs*
but i must clean. and do homework.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 20:18:57 +0000 UTC]
lol...
I also must do homework but it is saturday so I will at least wait till the last minute on sunday
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
speakyourmind In reply to Slushba132 [2008-12-06 20:51:43 +0000 UTC]
*laughs* well I will probably end up doing the same.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Slushba132 In reply to speakyourmind [2008-12-06 20:58:20 +0000 UTC]
lawl
I have to places to go at 3:00 anyway
👍: 0 ⏩: 0